I have a little secret for you: No one really cares about money, looks, status, or anything else like that.
What women, and in fact men as well, DO care about are the INSTANT EMOTIONS they get or THINK they will get from these things. Believe it or not, the major difference between a person like Mother Theresa and a person who is some tramp is just the EMOTION they attach to different actions.
The fact of the matter is that most human beings find emotions very addictive. Even negative emotions are often addictive, because the intensity of the emotion tends to make you feel like you should CONTINUE to feel that negative emotion, that it’s INSANE TO NOT continue to feel that negative emotion.
That’s why when people are in a depressed mood, they listen to depressing music to REINFORCE it since they FEEL it’s just
“right” and FEELS RIGHT.
Such is the power of emotion, that even NEGATIVE emotions are addictive.
Experiencing emotion makes you feel ALIVE. That’s why the entertainment industry is a billion dollar industry. That’s why Spiderman rakes it in while some other special effects movie goes bankrupt- because effects alone trigger VERY LITTLE EMOTION. For most people, it is so easy to get them emotional, that they will easily listen to HARMFUL advice from a person who delivers the advice in a way that taps EMOTION.
Think of some of the worst dictators in history. Think of the nicotine industry. In both cases, by appealing to people’s emotions, people end up EXCITED to do destructive behavior to themselves and to others.
At the same time, emotions can be used in a POSITIVE way, since they are so powerful.
For example, I remember a documentary called PUMPING IRON where Arnold Schwarzenneger was explaining the feeling of a muscle burn. He went on with great passion to explain the feeling of pain from a muscle burning- and that knowing the pain was a sign of his body pushing itself to respond and improve, the pain was actually pleasurable.
Anyone who loves working out knows what I am talking about, but the more important point is that he harnessed the power of EMOTION to turn something that would DISCOURAGE other people and actually ENCOURAGE him. Smart dude.
So what does all this have to do with attracting women?
It has everything to do with it.
If emotions are so powerful and addictive, you can imagine the power of the emotion called SEX, which is such a primal instinctive thing. Unfortunately though, most people let the emotion of sex control them, instead of learning to harness this emotion in productive ways.
For some people, the emotion of sex can make them depressed, as they associate it with past painful emotional experiences. For others, they associate it with power and thus feel the need to “conquer” another woman every day. For others, they associate it with being “bad”. For some, they associate it with escape. Others associate it with self-esteem.
You can see the problems this might lead to and the behavior patterns that might result.
Sex itself is actually none of these things, and in all the above cases, sex has taken control over the individual instead of vice versa.
The bottom line though is that SEX ITSELF is a POWERFUL RAW EMOTION, but how it gets harnessed is up to the individual. Think of absolute value, it can go negative or positive, but the intensity of the absolute value remains unchanged.
Now, I believe that the emotion of sex is so powerful, that it can be experienced at TRILLIONS of different levels besides sex itself that are JUST AS POWERFUL as the raw act. This is why a certain LOOK on someone’s face can be EXTREMELY POWERFUL. This is why a movie like TITANIC can break every record ever made. This is why guys (and plenty of women) love movies like TERMINATOR where the macho guy who isn’t too emotional otherwise comes across time to save this woman, and why women (and plenty of guys) love movies like TITANIC.
In both cases, the stories about more than bullets and sinking ships. Movies that are just about bullets and sinking ships go straight to video and nobody talks about them. At the very HEART of these movies is a powerful, innovative, subtle expression of SEX that works on a soul-to-soul level between audience and film. The film CREATES emotions, and it's not even REAL, it's just plastic running on a projector.
It is YOUR job to work on an EQUALLY powerful level with the woman or women in YOUR life. To use the emotion of sex in a subtle, yet powerful way. Now, what I am sharing with you is very powerful stuff, and I don’t believe in using these powers to hurt women. I believe in using these powers to enhance your connection with the woman or women you care about.
By the way, one of the reasons the emotions in a film or book or piece of music are so powerful is because MANY emotions are combined together. In the movie examples above, there is
the emotion of loss since in both cases the romance was in JEOPARDY, thereby increasing the passion and appreciation for the romance; there is also the emotion of DANGER, the emotion of FREEDOM, and I could go on and on. Bottom line for the sake of this newsletter is that emotions become even MORE powerful when they are combined with OTHER emotions.
Kind of like how a symphony gives you a greater experience of Mozart than playing it on your lone banjo.
Or how a comedian works on different levels of humor at the same time, and even will act SERIOUS as he builds up to his hilarious punchline… Again, the COMBO of emotions you are experiencing ENHANCES the effect. Similarly, when interacting with a woman, you want her to be experiencing a WILDSTORM of emotions that just makes you UNBELIEVABLY ADDICTIVE. All these emotions must be interwoven with SUBTLE sexual lacing.
By the way, when I say addictive, I do not mean in a harmful or mean-spirited way, I am saying it in a POSITIVE way where both you and your woman will be NUTS about each other.
Get it?
I LOVE triggering AWESOME EMOTIONS. Truth be told, my overall goal in life is not just about creating awesome emotions with women, it’s about creating rare, powerful, positive emotions in this world that are simultaneously HONEST. In other words, I could never write a story about a “nice” guy who wins with women, because to me that’s NOT HONEST.
So HOW do you trigger all these awesome INFINITE and DIFFERENT sexually-laced emotions in a woman?
Obviously, this is a HUGE question with a HUGE answer.
But for one thing, just like a FILM or BOOK creates emotion by using REPRESENTATIONS of reality, so too your behaviour, your words, your attitude, your clothing, your tonality, all are REPRESENTATIONS of reality as well. Those representations are all you have to convey who you are. It's really no different from "looks" because "looks" too are just a REPRESENTATION of reality that gets interpreted by a woman's mind.
Another thing that's crucial to do before go trying to create sexy representations of yourself is you must understand and know the TRUTH about what women find sexy, and I ASSURE YOU that most women will either not be able to tell you since they aren’t conscious of it, and even if they DID know, (and most women honestly DON’T), they would NOT find you attractive if they had to TELL you, and also would not feel COMFORTABLE telling you. Being THE MAN is not ONLY about not taking any crap, although that is VERY important part, make no mistake about it.
It’s also about delivering the message that you are powerful in other subtle ways, ranging from powerful in intelligence, to powerful in emotional control, to the way you physically present yourself and the way you dress. The keyword is SUBTLETY. The more you make a woman have to ENGAGE herself in figuring you out and wanting to figure you out, the better. Being direct is too easy and too boring and is simply bypassed by her emotional radar.
Think for a second about the coolest heroes in movies. Imagine James Bond even if he wasn’t rich or played by a movie star. Think about the guy, the stories he has to tell, the knowledge he has of human character, of the world, of politics, of culture, of languages, and how he never seems to show off about it. It’s just who he is.
Think about how he might CONVEY all that to a woman WITHOUT even TELLING her he knows all that stuff. For example, let’s say a woman met the guy, and asked him what he did, and he answered “oh a little of this and a little of that” with a slight smirk on his confident face as he then casually turned from her and ordered himself a martini. He might then slowly turn back and say “and yourself…”.
Trust me, this says a LOT about a guy, and it would be attractive even if he didn’t have all the gadgets looks and money. Notice how in my example he didn’t even ANSWER the question, yet he wasn’t rude, yet DEFINITELY conveyed he was THE MAN.
By not answering he created an air of mystery while not coming across as a lame prick. And imagine he ordered an exotic drink that most guys have no idea what it even is.
And think about the voice tone he probably used- it was relaxed and natural and at ease. A hint of playfulness in his voice. Totally in control without being controlling.
I hope this is giving you a glimpse into who THE MAN is.
How do you think he might CONTINUE this interaction to take it to the NEXT LEVEL?
Do you think this guy is obsessing over getting phone numbers or emails?
Do you think he is even giving off the VIBE that he wants her NUMBER and is going to go home so happy that he has her NUMBER?
Do you think SHE is thinking he will be so ecstatic that he has her number?
Or might this entire interaction quickly lead to MORE than a “number”?
By the way, I have nothing against getting numbers, it’s often the only way when two people are busy at the moment. But my point is that it’s not about numbers or emails, it’s about ATTRACTION in its most full and complex forms. That means MORE than just horniness. Using just horniness is for amateurs, no offence. An unattractive woman touching might make you horny, but does that mean you are really attracted?
Do you think he might escalate things smoothly by continuing to having an INTRIGUING conversation, or PLAYFUL conversation, or maybe just sharing an INTERESTING story that just happened to him?
He might be playful and bust on her that “I could tell you but then you know what I’d have to do with you” or he could be intriguing and share an interesting story about something that happened to him or someone he knew.
He might smoothly sit close to her as they chatted, and at the RIGHT moment know when to touch, and know when it was ON to kiss her, and he would do it without asking for permission while being VERY classy.
Compare this to something to something lame like telling her how hot she is?
Let’s say he saw her with her two girlfriends at the bar and they were laughing really loud at something one said. What might he say to them to approach them?
Would he say something like “hi girls?” Or might he have an aloof expression on his face and say something like, “The expressions change, it might be laughter, it might be tears, but I guarantee you it’s only one subject”. They might likely say in curiosity something like “What’s that”. To which he might respond: “Men.”
And of course, since that’s all women talk about when they aren’t gossiping he would be right. And he would have been funny too.
What does this indicate about him?
About his knowledge of women?
About the fact that so many women know him, that he is in tune with this?
The answers to these questions are powerful, aren’t they? They are subtle indicators to women that this is a DESIRABLE guy.
And guess what?
You DON’T have to be James Bond to do it. You just have to be THE MAN.
When a woman experiences this, she feels chemistry without even realizing why.
What is happening is that the EMOTIONS she CRAVES are being stimulated. When a woman says she wants “money”, she might really mean she wants the FEELING of security, or she might mean she wants the FEELING of power. Well, by virtue of his confidence, his body language, his mannerisms, his wit, etc, THE MAN exudes power. THAT will make her feel powerful to BE with him. Security? By not being a worry wart, and by staying calm under pressure, THE MAN gives a woman the feeling of security.
When a woman says she wants “good looks”, what she means is she wants to FEEL attraction, and that she hasn’t ever met a guy who knew how to make her feel attracted without looks before. Also, sometimes when women say they want “looks”, they are often just in need of validation that THEY are worthy. Really- that’s why sometimes the women MOST hung up on looks are not hot at ALL. If you ever saw the majority of women at a male strip club, you’d know what I mean. Remove the 18-21 year old girls who just got the “age-of-majority-ID-card-high” and what you have left is pretty scary.
When you ALSO combine all these emotions with subtle expressions of sex, such as as teasing a girl, or giving her the right “look”, you MASSIVELY SKYROCKET attraction.
There is a LOT more to this, but I hope this opens a new perspective for you.
Remember, when a woman feels attraction from all this, it’s not conscious, it’s soul to soul. I call it soul to soul because in fact it is natural, it is not contrived, and it is not OVERT. It’s not direct.
The only behavior that is contrived occurs when guys try hard to impress women, but you will find that after learning these principles and practicing them, you are actually behaving as your REAL self and won’t have to even think about it.
Read more!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
How To Approach Women
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Today, I'm going to share some critical information with you on how to approach women.
If you want the best chance of having a successful approach with an attractive woman, it's CRUCIAL to convey several things:
That you are NOT desperate at ALL.
That you are DOMINANT AND MEAN BUSINESS.
That you are being SPONTANEOUS.
That you are SINCERE.
That you are a WINNER in LIFE.
Notice how NONE of the things mentioned above are about how INCREDIBLY AWESOME you think SHE is. That's because, if you are the kind of MAN she wants to meet, then in HER mind, she's thinking that you should be able to attract women like her without a problem, so she really shouldn't be a big deal to you.
Now, let's go through the above elements, and HOW TO CONVEY THOSE ELEMENTS TO A WOMAN.
It's important to realize that in order to convey something to a woman, you must understand how WOMEN interpret things, even if the way they interpret things is COMPLETELY WRONG!
#1. NOT BEING DESPERATE AT ALL
First of all, anything that indicates EFFORT to speak to her, on your part, is a signal to a woman that you are desperate.
Notice I said EFFORT, not COURAGE.
Let me give you examples of indicating too much effort:
You see a woman in a mall, walking, and she is FAR away from you. If you want to approach her, do not let her see that you are running half way across the mall to approach her! Instead, you should set it up so that you walk ahead of her without her noticing that you have noticed HER, then casually slow down, turn a bit as if you are looking at something, and VOILA- she just "happens" to walk right toward you. NOW you can do your thing- after all, she was right in front of you, right- it was NO BIG DEAL...lol
Second, anything that puts her on a pedestal also reeks of desperation. This includes over-use of compliments, (I prefer to use none) especially on her beauty. Also, agreeing with everything she says and constant smiling and nodding also reeks of desperation. It says that you are treating her as if she has THE POWER TO MAKE YOU SO DAMN HAPPY- this THROWS ALL THE POWER IN HER COURT, and makes you seem INFERIOR.
After all, if you are not desperate, then why are you getting so excited and happy from her? Let HER smile instead. Giving her too much approval, too much attention, leaning in to her physically or metaphorically, all add up to d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-i-o-n in her mind. Also, I should mention that acting MEAN does NOT SHOW that you are not desperate, it actually shows that you are indeed bitter and desperate.
2. BEING DOMINANT AND MEANING BUSINESS
Women can tell IMMEDIATELY if a guy lacks guts- if he is less than dominant, when he approaches them and opens his mouth. Sometimes, even BEFORE he approaches them, women can tell if he is a submissive little boy.
How ?
Simple: If a guy STARES at a woman instead of just IMMEDIATELY approaching her, a woman knows the guy is TOO NERVOUS to act on his DESIRE. So if you ever see a woman you'd like to approach, don't let her in on it before you have decided to TAKE ACTION.
Now, it's best to just go up immediately, so you don't over analyze the situation and bog yourself down with doubts, but if you have no idea what you are going to say, (i.e. you need to figure out a tease to say), then don't look at her as you are figuring out what you are going to say. Figure it out, and THEN IMMEDIATELY approach her. Meaning "business" is especially important when you ask for an email, or if you suggest an "instant date". Let's say you've chatted it up with a woman for a few minutes, and then you ask for her email...
At this point, I believe a woman makes a subtle TEST...she wants to see if you MEAN BUSINESS, or if you are just playing around, or if you are too scared to really do this kind of thing, etc, etc.
DO NOT SMILE when you ask for the email. Look her straight in the eye, totally calm, without fear, without smiling. You are being a man, offering a woman something she WANTS. Sugar coating it with smiles, etc, only makes it look like you are trying to sell her a raw deal. And if there is a pause, a silence, DO NOT FILL THE "uncomfortable" quiet by saying ANYTHING.
You asked her for her email, and now she has a CHOICE to say yes no or maybe. But if YOU fill the void, it's a sign of you NOT being confident, it's a sign of you trying to find a way out of this "emotional risk" (which is really no risk when you think about it)- and that would not be sexy. During that pause, she will be checking your expression to see if you are a MAN. If she sees you MEAN it, and are offering her NO EASY WAY OUT to lessen the rejection you may face, it shows her you are not afraid of the consequences of your asking, because you MEAN IT and are prepared to accept whatever may happen.
This is NOT desperation, it's MEANING BUSINESS.
By the way, in terms of dominance, it's crucial not to make the mistake of thinking this means to be a JERK. What it really means is to behave in a way that only a guy who is TOO COMFORTABLE with her can. Being a smart-ass can sometimes convey dominance as well- here's an example:
Once, I was at a trendy clothing store and teasing the girl who worked there, telling her the caps on display (which had a "beat up" look) were defective merchandise...she laughs and tells me it's the style, I tease her some more and say "Sure, you get this stuff at a garage sale and then call it "the latest style" " She laughs more.. then I take the hat and put it ON HER HEAD...and I take a long moment...as if I am deciding if it looks good or not on her, instead of just kissing up.... She was EATING THIS UP...loving every second of it. This is what I mean by dominance, as opposed to being a jerk.
#3 BEING SPONTANEOUS
This is a funny one to me, because in reality, what APPEARS to be spontaneous to a woman is actually REHEARSED, and when a guy is truly spontaneous, he comes across to a woman as desperate. I like to consider myself a "good" guy. Years ago, I used to go up to women and I was all nervous and fumbled. But the reality is that I was that way because I had NOT rehearsed, because I was BEING IMPULSIVE AND SPONTANEOUS. And of course got hardly any positive results. I had no plan, I would just see a woman and go up to her, revealing whatever I was feeling at that moment.
Spontaneous. But women interpret that as being a guy who is a sicko, or desperate, etc. To appear SPONTANEOUS in a good sense, you actually have to PRACTICE! Hey, I didn't say women were logical... That means whenever you see women anywhere, go up to them and tease them, and chat them up, and don't think too much about how seriously interested you are or are not. It's about developing the skill to just go up to women and tease, chat, without thinking...
This way, when you see that woman that you just HAVE to go up to, you will be well-REHEARSED so you can look SMOOTH and SPONTANEOUS! And of course, the worst thing you can do to ruin the appearance of being spontaneous is to STARE AT A WOMAN for five minutes before you actually go up to her. JUST GO, IMMEDIATELY. This is very romantic for a woman, when a stranger just pops into their life like that, so the women feel it was all destiny, blah blah blah... just like in a Harlequin romance novel... and when they are in bed with you, they will be thinking "it just happened" it was beyond their control, it was fate...blah blah blah...
#4 SHOWING THAT YOU ARE SINCERE
It's important that a woman think you are sincere, and not a psycho, or a player. However, most guys overdo this part and instead show that they are not only sincere, but guys behave as if they sincerely think they are UNWORTHY of an attractive woman. (As if somehow being attractive makes a woman more worthy inherently). You can also be TOO SMOOTH, where a woman is really into you, and you can OVERWHELM her with being SO CONFIDENT in your body language, behavior, wit and smart-assness, that she feels it would be awesome to be with you, but that you are OUT OF HER LEAGUE.
The key to showing that you are sincere, without overdoing it, is to adjust to your particular woman in front of you, to determine how confident she herself is...by her responses, etc. And you should then accordingly pepper your smart-ass/teasing style conversation with a light small talk, and also by actually LISTENING to what she is saying, without kissing her butt. In other words, by having some normal conversation. The more confident she is, the more teasing she gets, the less confident she is, the more small talk.
#5 BEING A WINNER
Women are attracted to men who are in CONTROL of their lives and their emotions. So being a pessimist, or full of hate, or being a whiner or complainer is not a good idea. Droopy posture doesn't help either. Equally important is being the kind of person who is passionate about life, who ENJOYS life, who has goals in life, and has a plan, and is putting the plan into action. FOR HIMSELF, NOT IN ORDER TO PLEASE ANY WOMAN.
Now, you could LIE about yourself, but why not actually find the things you are interested and passionate about and become involved in them? Most of what holds us back is fear, and when you abandon your fears and go for your goals, it not only makes your life more enjoyable, but others become drawn toward you as well. Since the beginning, women have needed men for survival, who could endure a hostile environment laden with numerous threats and unpredictable situations.
Think about the personality of a man who thrived in such an environment- he was a go-getter, he was not a pessimist, and yet he was also not living in a FANTASY, either he knew the realities and DEALT with them. Women still are attracted to that kind of man. And if you want to learn more about how to meet women ANYWHERE, how to take things from initial encounter to getting physical, to how to deal with any "tests" that women will throw your way, and how to succeed at a relationship if you desire to have one, then you need to download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
In my eBook, I show you step-by-step what you need to know for total success with women. I cover everything from how to gain confidence, to explaining what women REALLY think but will NEVER tell you.
This book is the real deal.
There's no hypnosis, no pheromones, no "filler".
It's the information you need to know for success with women today.
Michael W
Read more!
If you want the best chance of having a successful approach with an attractive woman, it's CRUCIAL to convey several things:
That you are NOT desperate at ALL.
That you are DOMINANT AND MEAN BUSINESS.
That you are being SPONTANEOUS.
That you are SINCERE.
That you are a WINNER in LIFE.
Notice how NONE of the things mentioned above are about how INCREDIBLY AWESOME you think SHE is. That's because, if you are the kind of MAN she wants to meet, then in HER mind, she's thinking that you should be able to attract women like her without a problem, so she really shouldn't be a big deal to you.
Now, let's go through the above elements, and HOW TO CONVEY THOSE ELEMENTS TO A WOMAN.
It's important to realize that in order to convey something to a woman, you must understand how WOMEN interpret things, even if the way they interpret things is COMPLETELY WRONG!
#1. NOT BEING DESPERATE AT ALL
First of all, anything that indicates EFFORT to speak to her, on your part, is a signal to a woman that you are desperate.
Notice I said EFFORT, not COURAGE.
Let me give you examples of indicating too much effort:
You see a woman in a mall, walking, and she is FAR away from you. If you want to approach her, do not let her see that you are running half way across the mall to approach her! Instead, you should set it up so that you walk ahead of her without her noticing that you have noticed HER, then casually slow down, turn a bit as if you are looking at something, and VOILA- she just "happens" to walk right toward you. NOW you can do your thing- after all, she was right in front of you, right- it was NO BIG DEAL...lol
Second, anything that puts her on a pedestal also reeks of desperation. This includes over-use of compliments, (I prefer to use none) especially on her beauty. Also, agreeing with everything she says and constant smiling and nodding also reeks of desperation. It says that you are treating her as if she has THE POWER TO MAKE YOU SO DAMN HAPPY- this THROWS ALL THE POWER IN HER COURT, and makes you seem INFERIOR.
After all, if you are not desperate, then why are you getting so excited and happy from her? Let HER smile instead. Giving her too much approval, too much attention, leaning in to her physically or metaphorically, all add up to d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-i-o-n in her mind. Also, I should mention that acting MEAN does NOT SHOW that you are not desperate, it actually shows that you are indeed bitter and desperate.
2. BEING DOMINANT AND MEANING BUSINESS
Women can tell IMMEDIATELY if a guy lacks guts- if he is less than dominant, when he approaches them and opens his mouth. Sometimes, even BEFORE he approaches them, women can tell if he is a submissive little boy.
How ?
Simple: If a guy STARES at a woman instead of just IMMEDIATELY approaching her, a woman knows the guy is TOO NERVOUS to act on his DESIRE. So if you ever see a woman you'd like to approach, don't let her in on it before you have decided to TAKE ACTION.
Now, it's best to just go up immediately, so you don't over analyze the situation and bog yourself down with doubts, but if you have no idea what you are going to say, (i.e. you need to figure out a tease to say), then don't look at her as you are figuring out what you are going to say. Figure it out, and THEN IMMEDIATELY approach her. Meaning "business" is especially important when you ask for an email, or if you suggest an "instant date". Let's say you've chatted it up with a woman for a few minutes, and then you ask for her email...
At this point, I believe a woman makes a subtle TEST...she wants to see if you MEAN BUSINESS, or if you are just playing around, or if you are too scared to really do this kind of thing, etc, etc.
DO NOT SMILE when you ask for the email. Look her straight in the eye, totally calm, without fear, without smiling. You are being a man, offering a woman something she WANTS. Sugar coating it with smiles, etc, only makes it look like you are trying to sell her a raw deal. And if there is a pause, a silence, DO NOT FILL THE "uncomfortable" quiet by saying ANYTHING.
You asked her for her email, and now she has a CHOICE to say yes no or maybe. But if YOU fill the void, it's a sign of you NOT being confident, it's a sign of you trying to find a way out of this "emotional risk" (which is really no risk when you think about it)- and that would not be sexy. During that pause, she will be checking your expression to see if you are a MAN. If she sees you MEAN it, and are offering her NO EASY WAY OUT to lessen the rejection you may face, it shows her you are not afraid of the consequences of your asking, because you MEAN IT and are prepared to accept whatever may happen.
This is NOT desperation, it's MEANING BUSINESS.
By the way, in terms of dominance, it's crucial not to make the mistake of thinking this means to be a JERK. What it really means is to behave in a way that only a guy who is TOO COMFORTABLE with her can. Being a smart-ass can sometimes convey dominance as well- here's an example:
Once, I was at a trendy clothing store and teasing the girl who worked there, telling her the caps on display (which had a "beat up" look) were defective merchandise...she laughs and tells me it's the style, I tease her some more and say "Sure, you get this stuff at a garage sale and then call it "the latest style" " She laughs more.. then I take the hat and put it ON HER HEAD...and I take a long moment...as if I am deciding if it looks good or not on her, instead of just kissing up.... She was EATING THIS UP...loving every second of it. This is what I mean by dominance, as opposed to being a jerk.
#3 BEING SPONTANEOUS
This is a funny one to me, because in reality, what APPEARS to be spontaneous to a woman is actually REHEARSED, and when a guy is truly spontaneous, he comes across to a woman as desperate. I like to consider myself a "good" guy. Years ago, I used to go up to women and I was all nervous and fumbled. But the reality is that I was that way because I had NOT rehearsed, because I was BEING IMPULSIVE AND SPONTANEOUS. And of course got hardly any positive results. I had no plan, I would just see a woman and go up to her, revealing whatever I was feeling at that moment.
Spontaneous. But women interpret that as being a guy who is a sicko, or desperate, etc. To appear SPONTANEOUS in a good sense, you actually have to PRACTICE! Hey, I didn't say women were logical... That means whenever you see women anywhere, go up to them and tease them, and chat them up, and don't think too much about how seriously interested you are or are not. It's about developing the skill to just go up to women and tease, chat, without thinking...
This way, when you see that woman that you just HAVE to go up to, you will be well-REHEARSED so you can look SMOOTH and SPONTANEOUS! And of course, the worst thing you can do to ruin the appearance of being spontaneous is to STARE AT A WOMAN for five minutes before you actually go up to her. JUST GO, IMMEDIATELY. This is very romantic for a woman, when a stranger just pops into their life like that, so the women feel it was all destiny, blah blah blah... just like in a Harlequin romance novel... and when they are in bed with you, they will be thinking "it just happened" it was beyond their control, it was fate...blah blah blah...
#4 SHOWING THAT YOU ARE SINCERE
It's important that a woman think you are sincere, and not a psycho, or a player. However, most guys overdo this part and instead show that they are not only sincere, but guys behave as if they sincerely think they are UNWORTHY of an attractive woman. (As if somehow being attractive makes a woman more worthy inherently). You can also be TOO SMOOTH, where a woman is really into you, and you can OVERWHELM her with being SO CONFIDENT in your body language, behavior, wit and smart-assness, that she feels it would be awesome to be with you, but that you are OUT OF HER LEAGUE.
The key to showing that you are sincere, without overdoing it, is to adjust to your particular woman in front of you, to determine how confident she herself is...by her responses, etc. And you should then accordingly pepper your smart-ass/teasing style conversation with a light small talk, and also by actually LISTENING to what she is saying, without kissing her butt. In other words, by having some normal conversation. The more confident she is, the more teasing she gets, the less confident she is, the more small talk.
#5 BEING A WINNER
Women are attracted to men who are in CONTROL of their lives and their emotions. So being a pessimist, or full of hate, or being a whiner or complainer is not a good idea. Droopy posture doesn't help either. Equally important is being the kind of person who is passionate about life, who ENJOYS life, who has goals in life, and has a plan, and is putting the plan into action. FOR HIMSELF, NOT IN ORDER TO PLEASE ANY WOMAN.
Now, you could LIE about yourself, but why not actually find the things you are interested and passionate about and become involved in them? Most of what holds us back is fear, and when you abandon your fears and go for your goals, it not only makes your life more enjoyable, but others become drawn toward you as well. Since the beginning, women have needed men for survival, who could endure a hostile environment laden with numerous threats and unpredictable situations.
Think about the personality of a man who thrived in such an environment- he was a go-getter, he was not a pessimist, and yet he was also not living in a FANTASY, either he knew the realities and DEALT with them. Women still are attracted to that kind of man. And if you want to learn more about how to meet women ANYWHERE, how to take things from initial encounter to getting physical, to how to deal with any "tests" that women will throw your way, and how to succeed at a relationship if you desire to have one, then you need to download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
In my eBook, I show you step-by-step what you need to know for total success with women. I cover everything from how to gain confidence, to explaining what women REALLY think but will NEVER tell you.
This book is the real deal.
There's no hypnosis, no pheromones, no "filler".
It's the information you need to know for success with women today.
Michael W
Read more!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Rejection Is the Key to Sexual Prosperity
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by Ron Louis & David Copeland
Fundamentally, you are scared of women for one reason only: you are afraid of the pain and humiliation you'll feel if she rejects you.
If she says "no", you'll interpret it to mean all sorts of things: that you'll never get a woman, that you're not good enough, and that there's something fundamentally wrong with you. You'll feel humiliation and pain for days, perhaps even longer.
Each rejection makes you even less likely to initiate anything with a woman again, which makes the next time you actually do initiate something seem even more important and significant to you. It will be extra-important to you that you not get rejected again, which will make you seem weird to the woman, who will then reject you. Then back to more pain and lonely nights ahead.
This chain of events is enough to make your head spin. Many men that we've seen have a similar cycle go off in their heads when they are rejected by a woman. The strange part is that most of us are not even consciously aware of these crippling thoughts.
Unsuccessful men assume the worse.
One our students would always tell us, "If she says no, I'll look like a fool. I can just see that horrified look on her face already. I wonder how she'll say 'no'? Then she'll tell all our mutual friends that I, of all people, tried to ask her out. They'll all laugh at me and make fun of me behind my back. My reputation will be ruined."
This guy puts himself in so much pain by picturing the worst possible outcomes that he paralyzes himself with fear. He's picturing all these terrible outcomes when he approaches a woman, and his sheer level of fear alone, if nothing else, makes women say "no" to him. He acts so strangely and so hesitantly that he's at his worst, rather than at his best. Few women would chose to go out with him.
Women are not stupid; they can sense hesitation in a man. They don't want to be the source of you becoming depressed if they are not interested in dating you.
The Master Seducer sees things completely differently. Rather than seeing rejection as a reflection of his value as a man, the Highly Effective Seducer has one rule about rejection: "Rejection is the key to sexual prosperity."
An Effective Seducer thinks about rejection fundamentally differently than an ineffective seducer does. He does this by making better decisions about what a women's rejection means to him.
For instance, imagine you are at a grocery store, and you flirt and joke with the attractive young woman behind the counter (as we'll teach you to do). Perhaps she says "would you like a bag?" to which you smile and jokingly respond "Oh no...bags are dangerous! Haven't you read the warnings on them?" She responds with a dark glare. You continue to joke with her, and her only words for you are a cold-sounding "Thank-you-come-again" when she hands you your change. In every way that she can, short of outright insolence, she rejects you.
Let's look into the mind of an ineffective seducer after this
interaction.
He might be thinking "Wow, I really blew it with her. I can't believe I said that stuff. I must have been really out of line. Once again, I scared a woman I was attracted to. What's wrong with me? Won't I ever be able to talk to women without something weird happening? She's probably talking about me right now, telling everybody what a jerk I am."
The ineffective seducer explains the interaction to himself in a way that causes him humiliation and shame.
To the Highly Effective Seducer, rejection is a stepping stone to massive sexual success because he sees it as one more "no" he doesn't have to hear on the way to an inevitable "yes" with some other woman.
After that same interaction, an Effective Seducer might say to himself, "Wow, she sure didn't have much of a sense of humor. I wonder if she's not feeling well. Perhaps she had a friend die from suffocation in a plastic bag. Who knows?"
If he does think that she didn't like him, his only thought is "well, it's a good thing I found out now, before wasting more time and energy on her. Now I can concentrate on all the women who will want to be with me!" The Highly Effective Seducer explains the interaction to himself in such a way that he feels good about himself.
He's gotten one more "no" out of the way, and can move on to the "yes" from some other woman.
Read more!
Fundamentally, you are scared of women for one reason only: you are afraid of the pain and humiliation you'll feel if she rejects you.
If she says "no", you'll interpret it to mean all sorts of things: that you'll never get a woman, that you're not good enough, and that there's something fundamentally wrong with you. You'll feel humiliation and pain for days, perhaps even longer.
Each rejection makes you even less likely to initiate anything with a woman again, which makes the next time you actually do initiate something seem even more important and significant to you. It will be extra-important to you that you not get rejected again, which will make you seem weird to the woman, who will then reject you. Then back to more pain and lonely nights ahead.
This chain of events is enough to make your head spin. Many men that we've seen have a similar cycle go off in their heads when they are rejected by a woman. The strange part is that most of us are not even consciously aware of these crippling thoughts.
Unsuccessful men assume the worse.
One our students would always tell us, "If she says no, I'll look like a fool. I can just see that horrified look on her face already. I wonder how she'll say 'no'? Then she'll tell all our mutual friends that I, of all people, tried to ask her out. They'll all laugh at me and make fun of me behind my back. My reputation will be ruined."
This guy puts himself in so much pain by picturing the worst possible outcomes that he paralyzes himself with fear. He's picturing all these terrible outcomes when he approaches a woman, and his sheer level of fear alone, if nothing else, makes women say "no" to him. He acts so strangely and so hesitantly that he's at his worst, rather than at his best. Few women would chose to go out with him.
Women are not stupid; they can sense hesitation in a man. They don't want to be the source of you becoming depressed if they are not interested in dating you.
The Master Seducer sees things completely differently. Rather than seeing rejection as a reflection of his value as a man, the Highly Effective Seducer has one rule about rejection: "Rejection is the key to sexual prosperity."
An Effective Seducer thinks about rejection fundamentally differently than an ineffective seducer does. He does this by making better decisions about what a women's rejection means to him.
For instance, imagine you are at a grocery store, and you flirt and joke with the attractive young woman behind the counter (as we'll teach you to do). Perhaps she says "would you like a bag?" to which you smile and jokingly respond "Oh no...bags are dangerous! Haven't you read the warnings on them?" She responds with a dark glare. You continue to joke with her, and her only words for you are a cold-sounding "Thank-you-come-again" when she hands you your change. In every way that she can, short of outright insolence, she rejects you.
Let's look into the mind of an ineffective seducer after this
interaction.
He might be thinking "Wow, I really blew it with her. I can't believe I said that stuff. I must have been really out of line. Once again, I scared a woman I was attracted to. What's wrong with me? Won't I ever be able to talk to women without something weird happening? She's probably talking about me right now, telling everybody what a jerk I am."
The ineffective seducer explains the interaction to himself in a way that causes him humiliation and shame.
To the Highly Effective Seducer, rejection is a stepping stone to massive sexual success because he sees it as one more "no" he doesn't have to hear on the way to an inevitable "yes" with some other woman.
After that same interaction, an Effective Seducer might say to himself, "Wow, she sure didn't have much of a sense of humor. I wonder if she's not feeling well. Perhaps she had a friend die from suffocation in a plastic bag. Who knows?"
If he does think that she didn't like him, his only thought is "well, it's a good thing I found out now, before wasting more time and energy on her. Now I can concentrate on all the women who will want to be with me!" The Highly Effective Seducer explains the interaction to himself in such a way that he feels good about himself.
He's gotten one more "no" out of the way, and can move on to the "yes" from some other woman.
Read more!
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection: The Successful Rejection Experience
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by Jonathan Robinson, MA, MFT
When I was seventeen, I was very shy - especially with attractive women my own age. By the time I was a freshman in college, I had only been on two dates. Driven by teen-age hormones, I really wanted to meet and go out with some women, but I was terrified of being rejected. My fear was like a prison, keeping me locked away in self-imposed loneliness.
One day, I vowed I would overcome my fear. I decided that the only way I was going to become free of my fear was to plow my way through it. I enlisted the help of a good friend to make sure I had the motivation to face my fright head on. I gave my friend $50 and told him, "Don't give me this money back unless I get rejected by ten different women by the end of today." I figured that by experiencing ten rejections, I would know what it felt like and my fear would lessen. The money I gave to my friend would help me stay motivated to complete my mission.
I strolled down to the University Center to seek out attractive women. As I approached the first woman, sweat was literally dripping from my forehead. My knees began shaking, and as I said "hello," my voice cracked. When the teen-age girl turned and saw me shaking and sweating, she worriedly asked, "Are you all right? Do you need me to call an ambulance?" She thought I was having an epileptic seizure. I assured her she didn't need to call an ambulance, and that I'd soon be okay. A brief, awkward conversation ensued before I finally mumbled, "Would you like to go out together sometime?" In a kind voice she responded that she had a boyfriend, but that she was flattered that I had asked. As we parted ways, I took out an index card from my pocket and marked down one rejection. Then, as I thought, "Only nine more to go," I began to breathe again.
Fortunately, each rejection got easier. In fact, I soon noticed that the women I spoke to seemed more nervous than I. My rejections were proceeding rapidly and smoothly until the seventh woman I approached. When I asked her for a date, she said, "Sure." I hadn't thought of the possibility of someone saying "Yes," so I said, "Sure what?" She finally convinced me she really wanted to go out with me. I wrote down her number, and in a state of happy amazement, soon asked another woman for a date. To my surprise, she also said "Yes." By this time, I was feeling totally at ease while I asked women out, and they frequently responded by giving me their phone number. In fact, after a while I had so many dates that I had to begin acting like a jerk in order to fill my quota of ten rejections (and get my $50 bucks back). After I had received eight phone numbers from various women, I managed to get my tenth rejection. In one magical hour I set up my love life for my freshman year and put a big dent in my fear of rejection.
From this experience I surmised that the key to overcoming one's fear of rejection is to set it up so that getting rejected is seen as a success. My actual goal was to get ten rejections, and only by doing so would I be rewarded by getting my money back. As I faced my fear, I saw that it wasn't so bad. I could survive. Since I was fully prepared for what would happen, it didn't seem like a big deal anymore. I noticed that with each and every rejection, it got easier. In addition, as my fear went away and I became more relaxed, I was often rewarded with an unexpected "yes."
Perhaps there is some area in your life in which the fear of rejection has kept you from moving forward. Maybe you've made success too important. Instead, try rewarding yourself for just making an effort and getting a "no." For example, you might decide to get three "no" responses to your sales calls each day, or one "no" per week from potential dates. My guess is that you'll survive. In fact, you'll probably get some unexpected "yes" responses along the way.
If doing an exercise like this strikes you as too difficult or scary, then you're probably a good candidate for it. To make it a bit easier for you, you can begin by asking someone to lunch who would not normally be your first choice for a date. After all, if they say "no," it won't matter to you so much. Once you've built up your "ability" to be okay in the face of rejection, you'll be better prepared to approach people who you really want to spend time with. Ultimately, the ability to face rejection is one of the most important skills a person can learn in order to create both personal and business success.
Read more!
When I was seventeen, I was very shy - especially with attractive women my own age. By the time I was a freshman in college, I had only been on two dates. Driven by teen-age hormones, I really wanted to meet and go out with some women, but I was terrified of being rejected. My fear was like a prison, keeping me locked away in self-imposed loneliness.
One day, I vowed I would overcome my fear. I decided that the only way I was going to become free of my fear was to plow my way through it. I enlisted the help of a good friend to make sure I had the motivation to face my fright head on. I gave my friend $50 and told him, "Don't give me this money back unless I get rejected by ten different women by the end of today." I figured that by experiencing ten rejections, I would know what it felt like and my fear would lessen. The money I gave to my friend would help me stay motivated to complete my mission.
I strolled down to the University Center to seek out attractive women. As I approached the first woman, sweat was literally dripping from my forehead. My knees began shaking, and as I said "hello," my voice cracked. When the teen-age girl turned and saw me shaking and sweating, she worriedly asked, "Are you all right? Do you need me to call an ambulance?" She thought I was having an epileptic seizure. I assured her she didn't need to call an ambulance, and that I'd soon be okay. A brief, awkward conversation ensued before I finally mumbled, "Would you like to go out together sometime?" In a kind voice she responded that she had a boyfriend, but that she was flattered that I had asked. As we parted ways, I took out an index card from my pocket and marked down one rejection. Then, as I thought, "Only nine more to go," I began to breathe again.
Fortunately, each rejection got easier. In fact, I soon noticed that the women I spoke to seemed more nervous than I. My rejections were proceeding rapidly and smoothly until the seventh woman I approached. When I asked her for a date, she said, "Sure." I hadn't thought of the possibility of someone saying "Yes," so I said, "Sure what?" She finally convinced me she really wanted to go out with me. I wrote down her number, and in a state of happy amazement, soon asked another woman for a date. To my surprise, she also said "Yes." By this time, I was feeling totally at ease while I asked women out, and they frequently responded by giving me their phone number. In fact, after a while I had so many dates that I had to begin acting like a jerk in order to fill my quota of ten rejections (and get my $50 bucks back). After I had received eight phone numbers from various women, I managed to get my tenth rejection. In one magical hour I set up my love life for my freshman year and put a big dent in my fear of rejection.
From this experience I surmised that the key to overcoming one's fear of rejection is to set it up so that getting rejected is seen as a success. My actual goal was to get ten rejections, and only by doing so would I be rewarded by getting my money back. As I faced my fear, I saw that it wasn't so bad. I could survive. Since I was fully prepared for what would happen, it didn't seem like a big deal anymore. I noticed that with each and every rejection, it got easier. In addition, as my fear went away and I became more relaxed, I was often rewarded with an unexpected "yes."
Perhaps there is some area in your life in which the fear of rejection has kept you from moving forward. Maybe you've made success too important. Instead, try rewarding yourself for just making an effort and getting a "no." For example, you might decide to get three "no" responses to your sales calls each day, or one "no" per week from potential dates. My guess is that you'll survive. In fact, you'll probably get some unexpected "yes" responses along the way.
If doing an exercise like this strikes you as too difficult or scary, then you're probably a good candidate for it. To make it a bit easier for you, you can begin by asking someone to lunch who would not normally be your first choice for a date. After all, if they say "no," it won't matter to you so much. Once you've built up your "ability" to be okay in the face of rejection, you'll be better prepared to approach people who you really want to spend time with. Ultimately, the ability to face rejection is one of the most important skills a person can learn in order to create both personal and business success.
Read more!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The Kiss Close - When, How, and What To Do
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by -Hpnotiq-
Ok gentlemen. You have landed your first number close - SUCCESS!
You have set up a date at that fantastic new Euro-Asian restaurant in town - MORE SUCCESS!!
On the date, you were cocky/funny, you listened 70% and talked 30%, you gave great KINO (touching her) and she gave KINO (touching you) in return. She's even commenting on how she's having the best time with you - MORE AND MORE SUCCESS!!!
Towards the end of the date, you get this crazy idea that you want to kiss her! So what do you do now? When do you do it? And HOW?
Generally, most women will not kiss you on the first date. There are always exceptions to the rule. The girl may be drunk, she may be easy, she may be a friend that you've already known for a good amount of time. In those situations a kiss close or MORE is probable.
But generally speaking, a woman you are getting to know will think you are moving way too fast if you try to kiss her on the first date. Kiss closes have higher success rates on 2nd or 3rd dates because most women need to feel comfortable around you before they give you the green light to tongue wrestle.
But don't wait until date 39 to make your move, or she may think you're not sexually interested in her.
So what does that green light look like?
Go signs on the date for the kiss close include:
* Her constant heavy KINOing.
* Her constant smiling.
* Her constant laughing with you.
* Her constant agreeing with what you say.
* Her constant mimicking your body language.
* Her constant commenting on how much she likes hanging out with you.
Throughout each date, you should be gauging her comfort level with you. Also, you should be gauging your comfort level with her. If you genuinely feel comfortable with her, she is most likely feeling comfortable with you.
So during what part of the 2nd or 3rd date do you attempt the kiss?
The best time on the date to attempt the kiss close is when her comfort level is at its apex. This usually happens toward the end of the date because throughout the date, you have made her more and more trusting in you. And when she trusts you, she's ready for the close.
So how do I close?
There are many styles and approaches on how to kiss close. Some guys like to walk her to her door at the end of the night. Others like to kiss her in the car before dropping her off at home. And others like to attempt a kiss close during a romantic sunset backdrop.
As long as she is comfortable with you, ANY of these styles will work. ANY of them! Why? Because you've already established her trust, and trust with women is golden! It isn't the kiss close 'mechanics' that will determine your success; it is her trust and comfort level that will.
But there two rules that MUST BE followed when attempting the kiss close.
1) NEVER ask if it's ok to kiss her.
Other than the first time having sex, the first kiss is one of the most anticipated events when people are newly dating. Your kiss close should be a surprise to her. Think of it as a present, a lasting memory, something she isn't expecting. When you ask her or make your intentions fully known, the thrill of the unknown is now lost. How can you take her breath away when she's already expecting it to be taken?
2) Your kiss should match the level of excitement as your date.
If your dates have been relaxed evenings drinking wine and discussing art, then shoving your tongue down her throat and groping her melons isn't going to win you points. Sure, you've gotten the first kiss. But, that will most likely be your last one too. If your dates have been exciting nights out dancing, drinking, laughing it up - it's a safe bet that your kiss close can have a little bit more PASSION to it.
So I've attempted the kiss close and she turned her face away and said no! I'm crushed! NOW WHAT?!
Calm down chief! No need to push the panic button.
There are times where you'll read her signs wrong, rush her pace, not establish enough comfort and trust with her, or just plain run into a crazy psycho woman. Maybe you've followed every seduction step to the "T" and she still turned her face away. What to do now?
First, realize it's not the end of the world.
Women will most often times be very polite in rejecting your kiss close. If your attempt is rejected, don't go off the handle and storm off in a tirade because she said no. That's something an insecure boy whose fragile, babied, bruised little ego would do.
Don't try to rush her, pressure her, or push the issue. Just pull away with a confused look on your face as if to say "what's the deal?" When you do this, she will most likely tell you why she isn't letting you advance.
99% of the time it is because she needs more time to get to know you. So guess what, give her that time. If you've already invested 2 dates, what's another night out going to hurt?
Just keep building that trust and comfort level. By not being angry for her denying your first kiss close attempt, you have just fortified her trust and comfort in you. Keep winning those points and the apex will come. Don't rush it.
Follow the same rules again. Don't worry so much about the kiss. Enjoy her company. Enjoy dating. Enjoy the process!
Continue to be a confident, cocky/funny, desirable man everyone wants to be with, and attempt a second kiss close when the time feels right!
I would post information on what happens when the 3rd kiss close attempt fails, but, I rarely fail on a 1st kiss close attempt. And I have NEVER failed on a 2nd kiss close.
If you follow this game plan, I have much confidence that your success rate will most likely match mine. Heck, it may even be better!
Enjoy!
Read more!
Ok gentlemen. You have landed your first number close - SUCCESS!
You have set up a date at that fantastic new Euro-Asian restaurant in town - MORE SUCCESS!!
On the date, you were cocky/funny, you listened 70% and talked 30%, you gave great KINO (touching her) and she gave KINO (touching you) in return. She's even commenting on how she's having the best time with you - MORE AND MORE SUCCESS!!!
Towards the end of the date, you get this crazy idea that you want to kiss her! So what do you do now? When do you do it? And HOW?
Generally, most women will not kiss you on the first date. There are always exceptions to the rule. The girl may be drunk, she may be easy, she may be a friend that you've already known for a good amount of time. In those situations a kiss close or MORE is probable.
But generally speaking, a woman you are getting to know will think you are moving way too fast if you try to kiss her on the first date. Kiss closes have higher success rates on 2nd or 3rd dates because most women need to feel comfortable around you before they give you the green light to tongue wrestle.
But don't wait until date 39 to make your move, or she may think you're not sexually interested in her.
So what does that green light look like?
Go signs on the date for the kiss close include:
* Her constant heavy KINOing.
* Her constant smiling.
* Her constant laughing with you.
* Her constant agreeing with what you say.
* Her constant mimicking your body language.
* Her constant commenting on how much she likes hanging out with you.
Throughout each date, you should be gauging her comfort level with you. Also, you should be gauging your comfort level with her. If you genuinely feel comfortable with her, she is most likely feeling comfortable with you.
So during what part of the 2nd or 3rd date do you attempt the kiss?
The best time on the date to attempt the kiss close is when her comfort level is at its apex. This usually happens toward the end of the date because throughout the date, you have made her more and more trusting in you. And when she trusts you, she's ready for the close.
So how do I close?
There are many styles and approaches on how to kiss close. Some guys like to walk her to her door at the end of the night. Others like to kiss her in the car before dropping her off at home. And others like to attempt a kiss close during a romantic sunset backdrop.
As long as she is comfortable with you, ANY of these styles will work. ANY of them! Why? Because you've already established her trust, and trust with women is golden! It isn't the kiss close 'mechanics' that will determine your success; it is her trust and comfort level that will.
But there two rules that MUST BE followed when attempting the kiss close.
1) NEVER ask if it's ok to kiss her.
Other than the first time having sex, the first kiss is one of the most anticipated events when people are newly dating. Your kiss close should be a surprise to her. Think of it as a present, a lasting memory, something she isn't expecting. When you ask her or make your intentions fully known, the thrill of the unknown is now lost. How can you take her breath away when she's already expecting it to be taken?
2) Your kiss should match the level of excitement as your date.
If your dates have been relaxed evenings drinking wine and discussing art, then shoving your tongue down her throat and groping her melons isn't going to win you points. Sure, you've gotten the first kiss. But, that will most likely be your last one too. If your dates have been exciting nights out dancing, drinking, laughing it up - it's a safe bet that your kiss close can have a little bit more PASSION to it.
So I've attempted the kiss close and she turned her face away and said no! I'm crushed! NOW WHAT?!
Calm down chief! No need to push the panic button.
There are times where you'll read her signs wrong, rush her pace, not establish enough comfort and trust with her, or just plain run into a crazy psycho woman. Maybe you've followed every seduction step to the "T" and she still turned her face away. What to do now?
First, realize it's not the end of the world.
Women will most often times be very polite in rejecting your kiss close. If your attempt is rejected, don't go off the handle and storm off in a tirade because she said no. That's something an insecure boy whose fragile, babied, bruised little ego would do.
Don't try to rush her, pressure her, or push the issue. Just pull away with a confused look on your face as if to say "what's the deal?" When you do this, she will most likely tell you why she isn't letting you advance.
99% of the time it is because she needs more time to get to know you. So guess what, give her that time. If you've already invested 2 dates, what's another night out going to hurt?
Just keep building that trust and comfort level. By not being angry for her denying your first kiss close attempt, you have just fortified her trust and comfort in you. Keep winning those points and the apex will come. Don't rush it.
Follow the same rules again. Don't worry so much about the kiss. Enjoy her company. Enjoy dating. Enjoy the process!
Continue to be a confident, cocky/funny, desirable man everyone wants to be with, and attempt a second kiss close when the time feels right!
I would post information on what happens when the 3rd kiss close attempt fails, but, I rarely fail on a 1st kiss close attempt. And I have NEVER failed on a 2nd kiss close.
If you follow this game plan, I have much confidence that your success rate will most likely match mine. Heck, it may even be better!
Enjoy!
Read more!
How to Make Meeting Women Easy
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by Joseph Matthews
Question from a student:
Hello Joe,
I'm still a little confused on some of your openers. I'll use my intruder and say "hey guys," and give a time constraint, but after that I'll forget everything or mix up the lines.
What are some easy tricks to help me out?
I also have a problem with approaching, especially if someone says "go talk to her" or tries to force me to approach.
What do you at bars that have loud music?
Chris
My response:
Wow, three questions for the price of one. I must be feeling generous today. =)
Okay, I'll field these one at a time...
The first thing I want to say is:
MEETING WOMEN SHOULD BE FUN! NOT WORK!
If you're trying to memorize so much that you break out into cold-sweat performance anxiety when approaching, you're doing something WRONG.
Approaching should be kept as simple as possible.
If you have trouble, just work on memorizing 1 good opener that you use over and over again.
I have an opener that I always use, and it never fails me.
This way, I don't have to think about what to say to a girl. I just automatically know!
And if your brain freezes up, here's a great trick to keep things moving along easily...
ASK HER A QUESTION!
Keep asking her questions until you find something you can talk to her about.
Just remember to have a good time doing it.
If you're uneasy, nervous, or uptight, its going to affect the girl you're talking to in a negative way.
So learn to control your anxiety!
The second part of your question has to do with peer pressure.
I'm all for people who help motivate you to approach women. But if they're pushing you to do something you don't feel you're ready for, that can be tough.
Why?
Because you run the risk of KILLING your confidence. That's why.
You must protect your confidence at all costs!
That's what will get you the women.
So take your time. Don't feel rushed to meet women.
BUT...
Don't use this as an excuse NOT to approach.
If a buddy of yours is egging you on to approach a women, be sure to do so, but on YOUR terms.
Take your time. Think about what to say. Study her for a bit. Figure out the best way to approach.
Finally, when it comes to noisy bars and clubs, here's what I do.
I'll usually hang out in the quiet places of a club, like the patio area, or where people go to smoke. It's much easier to approach women there.
But, if you're in the club, you can do two things...
The first is to TALK LOUDER.
Be high energy, high volume, and use the same techniques I teach in The Art of Approaching. Works like a charm.
The second option is to go more physical.
Physically lead a woman into a quieter part of the bar or club and then talk to her there.
Some guys may call this the "caveman" approach, but it still works pretty good.
I'll usually say something like:
"Hey, come with me. I want to tell you something..."
Then I'll take her by the hand and lead her to a quieter spot.
Now, all this stuff should be second nature to you by now IF you've read my book The Art of Approaching.
No other course on the market will teach you the secrets you need to know to meet the woman of your dreams.
By the time I'm done with you, you'll have more women than you can handle!
Read more!
Question from a student:
Hello Joe,
I'm still a little confused on some of your openers. I'll use my intruder and say "hey guys," and give a time constraint, but after that I'll forget everything or mix up the lines.
What are some easy tricks to help me out?
I also have a problem with approaching, especially if someone says "go talk to her" or tries to force me to approach.
What do you at bars that have loud music?
Chris
My response:
Wow, three questions for the price of one. I must be feeling generous today. =)
Okay, I'll field these one at a time...
The first thing I want to say is:
MEETING WOMEN SHOULD BE FUN! NOT WORK!
If you're trying to memorize so much that you break out into cold-sweat performance anxiety when approaching, you're doing something WRONG.
Approaching should be kept as simple as possible.
If you have trouble, just work on memorizing 1 good opener that you use over and over again.
I have an opener that I always use, and it never fails me.
This way, I don't have to think about what to say to a girl. I just automatically know!
And if your brain freezes up, here's a great trick to keep things moving along easily...
ASK HER A QUESTION!
Keep asking her questions until you find something you can talk to her about.
Just remember to have a good time doing it.
If you're uneasy, nervous, or uptight, its going to affect the girl you're talking to in a negative way.
So learn to control your anxiety!
The second part of your question has to do with peer pressure.
I'm all for people who help motivate you to approach women. But if they're pushing you to do something you don't feel you're ready for, that can be tough.
Why?
Because you run the risk of KILLING your confidence. That's why.
You must protect your confidence at all costs!
That's what will get you the women.
So take your time. Don't feel rushed to meet women.
BUT...
Don't use this as an excuse NOT to approach.
If a buddy of yours is egging you on to approach a women, be sure to do so, but on YOUR terms.
Take your time. Think about what to say. Study her for a bit. Figure out the best way to approach.
Finally, when it comes to noisy bars and clubs, here's what I do.
I'll usually hang out in the quiet places of a club, like the patio area, or where people go to smoke. It's much easier to approach women there.
But, if you're in the club, you can do two things...
The first is to TALK LOUDER.
Be high energy, high volume, and use the same techniques I teach in The Art of Approaching. Works like a charm.
The second option is to go more physical.
Physically lead a woman into a quieter part of the bar or club and then talk to her there.
Some guys may call this the "caveman" approach, but it still works pretty good.
I'll usually say something like:
"Hey, come with me. I want to tell you something..."
Then I'll take her by the hand and lead her to a quieter spot.
Now, all this stuff should be second nature to you by now IF you've read my book The Art of Approaching.
No other course on the market will teach you the secrets you need to know to meet the woman of your dreams.
By the time I'm done with you, you'll have more women than you can handle!
Read more!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
A Few Things I've Learned About Women
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by RKTek
1) You must have something going for you.
You must have at least one of the following: a solid hobby that challenges you physically and mentally, a musical talent that you enjoy, a good job, a good major in school that reflects your true life ambition, a super charismatic personality, etc. Something. If you are nothing, you will attract nothing.
All of these things must come from within you. It must be your core personality. You cannot have a certain hobby because you think it will attract girls. You do not choose a major in school because you think girls will be impressed. You do not affect an outgoing personality just to pick up girls. You must BE someone/something.
2) You must like yourself. You must like your own company. It should not matter to you very much if you are alone. You should be able to entertain yourself and be happy with your own pursuits.
3) At the same time that you are happy with being alone, to a small degree you should like the company of others. A man is supposed to be a bit of a loner but knows how to socialize.
4) The less emotions you show, the better. Always keep something in reserve. Always have a bit of mystery. Always be slightly unpredictable. With experience you'll learn how to be mysterious without being weird or unpredictable without being unstable or flighty.
5) You should not pursue women. If you have the mindset that you are pursuing women, or are trying to get into a particular woman's pants, you will lose.
Rather, you should have the attitude that a woman will be a drain on your life, she will be a lying cheating heartbreaking shrew, and she will lie, cheat and break your heart until proven otherwise. Note the word proven.
Women don't realize they lie. A woman can break up with you, be walking out the door with her new boyfriend, look you square in the eyes and say "I really do love you" and many men will not only believe her, but rest secure in the belief that she will come back to them.
6) Again, you should not pursue women. When she (whoever she is) finds you attractive, she will pursue you, yet a person cannot pursue something unless it is retreating. You must appear to retreat.
Advance very slightly, then retreat. When a woman sees you and likes what she sees, very often because you don't seem to notice her, she will find a way to meet you. She will find a way to talk to you. She will find a way to get into your life. A woman in today's society will pursue.
7) You should consider every woman you see as a potential, and take them all on casual dates. Do it by the rules.
Specific time/place/activity dates on weeknights. Kiss close by the second date. Be mysterious. Be a gentleman, spelled gentle-MAN. Learn the subtle tactic of making all the right moves, yet remaining emotionally flat. Have NO expectations. If a woman sees you, and likes what she sees, she will imagine being in a relationship/sex/marriage soon enough.
8) Experience is the best teacher. The only 'mistake' is one from which you learn nothing, but you must make those mistakes.
There are no shortcuts, you must pay your dues, you must make life mistakes. Fortunately you have this site and whatever 'method' you like to help you learn from those mistakes. But again, there are no real shortcuts, you must make mistakes.
You must make a fool of yourself at least once, perhaps more, in your life. You must have your heart seriously broken at least once in your life, perhaps more. You must date many women. You must date very many women. You must try to be smooth, you must try to be a 'player', you must try to get her to start the process of trying to catch you. If she doesn't, you must dump her and move on very quickly.
9) Most men in today's world, are chumps.
Hollywood movies, literature, art, the media, all will be working against you. If you do it correctly, your friends will call you a woman hater or say that you're too demanding. If you break it off with a woman because she's a self-centered bitch, but she looks like Kylie Minogue, they'll say you're nuts. If you do it correctly women will initially seem to scorn you.
But if you do it correctly, women will have a little voice inside that piques their curiosity and find you irresistible in spite of themselves. And they'll pursue you. But they'll also test you relentlessly to see if yours is just an act.
10) Insecure men date beautiful women mainly to impress their friends. Insecure men want trophy women mainly to make themselves look better. Insecure men want to drive hot sports cars to impress their friends or to pick up chicks. Insecure men want swoopy motorcycles to impress their friends or pick up chicks.
Real men on the other hand, date women who are good companions, who really turn them on because they're interesting and attractive. Looks are very important, but not the most important.
Real men have sports cars because they enjoy tinkering with them on the weekends in addition to being fun with a woman. Real men have swoopy motorcycles because they belong to a motorcycle club, love working on them or race them in addition to occasionally giving a girl a joyride.
11) The best girl for you is one who could be called 'cute' with a decent body and generally happy personality -- and be open to her arriving in your life. Many guys are so intent looking for that fabulous diamond, they don't see the basket of pearls at their feet.
The healthiest mindset for you to have is that the prettier the girl, the worse she will be, only so that you will not be blinded when someone adorable but less glamorous comes along.
12) Occasionally you'll see geeky high school photos of people like Paris Hilton, or Tara Reid, and this should be an education to you. The most beautiful woman today could look like a toad tomorrow, and vice-versa.
13) If a girl ever "disses" you, call her on it immediately. Be tactful but let her know you've just heard or seen something that you dislike and it will not be tolerated. If she continues, dump her.
If you're driving in your car, pull over, and ask if she wants to get out now. Do not, under any circumstances tolerate dissing, games, put-downs or the like. If she's a bitch and walks away because you called her on it, all the better for you. You're rid of her.
If she's just testing you, she might walk away, but she'll be back. In either case you must let her go and do not look back. If she leaves, good. If she does come back, she will have even more respect for you. Either way, stand up for yourself, and either way in the long run you win.
14) At all times, a woman must believe that you can walk away from the relationship and not look back. She must believe that you care for the relationship less than her.
If you are in a relationship right now and your woman thinks she's got you by the short curlies, you need to dump her and get a new girl. It is imperative to start out correctly otherwise it will never be in your favor. The one who cares less, has the most power. Always.
15) Going back to previous jobs or girlfriends is a losing proposition.
16) The girl of your dreams may not be the girl you dreamed of. "Love at first sight" is dangerous.
17) The girl of your dreams will pursue you and there will be no mistake about it, even if you at first seemed uninterested.
18) The right girl for you will soon prove easy to talk to. She will surprise you with how interested in you she really can be. It will gradually, very gradually dawn on you that you don't have to be on your best behavior all the time.
19) If all of this seems too much for you to remember, you're not there yet but take comfort in the fact that you are on the right track, you're visiting the right site, reading the correct material and are simply in the process. It is a process.
Read more!
1) You must have something going for you.
You must have at least one of the following: a solid hobby that challenges you physically and mentally, a musical talent that you enjoy, a good job, a good major in school that reflects your true life ambition, a super charismatic personality, etc. Something. If you are nothing, you will attract nothing.
All of these things must come from within you. It must be your core personality. You cannot have a certain hobby because you think it will attract girls. You do not choose a major in school because you think girls will be impressed. You do not affect an outgoing personality just to pick up girls. You must BE someone/something.
2) You must like yourself. You must like your own company. It should not matter to you very much if you are alone. You should be able to entertain yourself and be happy with your own pursuits.
3) At the same time that you are happy with being alone, to a small degree you should like the company of others. A man is supposed to be a bit of a loner but knows how to socialize.
4) The less emotions you show, the better. Always keep something in reserve. Always have a bit of mystery. Always be slightly unpredictable. With experience you'll learn how to be mysterious without being weird or unpredictable without being unstable or flighty.
5) You should not pursue women. If you have the mindset that you are pursuing women, or are trying to get into a particular woman's pants, you will lose.
Rather, you should have the attitude that a woman will be a drain on your life, she will be a lying cheating heartbreaking shrew, and she will lie, cheat and break your heart until proven otherwise. Note the word proven.
Women don't realize they lie. A woman can break up with you, be walking out the door with her new boyfriend, look you square in the eyes and say "I really do love you" and many men will not only believe her, but rest secure in the belief that she will come back to them.
6) Again, you should not pursue women. When she (whoever she is) finds you attractive, she will pursue you, yet a person cannot pursue something unless it is retreating. You must appear to retreat.
Advance very slightly, then retreat. When a woman sees you and likes what she sees, very often because you don't seem to notice her, she will find a way to meet you. She will find a way to talk to you. She will find a way to get into your life. A woman in today's society will pursue.
7) You should consider every woman you see as a potential, and take them all on casual dates. Do it by the rules.
Specific time/place/activity dates on weeknights. Kiss close by the second date. Be mysterious. Be a gentleman, spelled gentle-MAN. Learn the subtle tactic of making all the right moves, yet remaining emotionally flat. Have NO expectations. If a woman sees you, and likes what she sees, she will imagine being in a relationship/sex/marriage soon enough.
8) Experience is the best teacher. The only 'mistake' is one from which you learn nothing, but you must make those mistakes.
There are no shortcuts, you must pay your dues, you must make life mistakes. Fortunately you have this site and whatever 'method' you like to help you learn from those mistakes. But again, there are no real shortcuts, you must make mistakes.
You must make a fool of yourself at least once, perhaps more, in your life. You must have your heart seriously broken at least once in your life, perhaps more. You must date many women. You must date very many women. You must try to be smooth, you must try to be a 'player', you must try to get her to start the process of trying to catch you. If she doesn't, you must dump her and move on very quickly.
9) Most men in today's world, are chumps.
Hollywood movies, literature, art, the media, all will be working against you. If you do it correctly, your friends will call you a woman hater or say that you're too demanding. If you break it off with a woman because she's a self-centered bitch, but she looks like Kylie Minogue, they'll say you're nuts. If you do it correctly women will initially seem to scorn you.
But if you do it correctly, women will have a little voice inside that piques their curiosity and find you irresistible in spite of themselves. And they'll pursue you. But they'll also test you relentlessly to see if yours is just an act.
10) Insecure men date beautiful women mainly to impress their friends. Insecure men want trophy women mainly to make themselves look better. Insecure men want to drive hot sports cars to impress their friends or to pick up chicks. Insecure men want swoopy motorcycles to impress their friends or pick up chicks.
Real men on the other hand, date women who are good companions, who really turn them on because they're interesting and attractive. Looks are very important, but not the most important.
Real men have sports cars because they enjoy tinkering with them on the weekends in addition to being fun with a woman. Real men have swoopy motorcycles because they belong to a motorcycle club, love working on them or race them in addition to occasionally giving a girl a joyride.
11) The best girl for you is one who could be called 'cute' with a decent body and generally happy personality -- and be open to her arriving in your life. Many guys are so intent looking for that fabulous diamond, they don't see the basket of pearls at their feet.
The healthiest mindset for you to have is that the prettier the girl, the worse she will be, only so that you will not be blinded when someone adorable but less glamorous comes along.
12) Occasionally you'll see geeky high school photos of people like Paris Hilton, or Tara Reid, and this should be an education to you. The most beautiful woman today could look like a toad tomorrow, and vice-versa.
13) If a girl ever "disses" you, call her on it immediately. Be tactful but let her know you've just heard or seen something that you dislike and it will not be tolerated. If she continues, dump her.
If you're driving in your car, pull over, and ask if she wants to get out now. Do not, under any circumstances tolerate dissing, games, put-downs or the like. If she's a bitch and walks away because you called her on it, all the better for you. You're rid of her.
If she's just testing you, she might walk away, but she'll be back. In either case you must let her go and do not look back. If she leaves, good. If she does come back, she will have even more respect for you. Either way, stand up for yourself, and either way in the long run you win.
14) At all times, a woman must believe that you can walk away from the relationship and not look back. She must believe that you care for the relationship less than her.
If you are in a relationship right now and your woman thinks she's got you by the short curlies, you need to dump her and get a new girl. It is imperative to start out correctly otherwise it will never be in your favor. The one who cares less, has the most power. Always.
15) Going back to previous jobs or girlfriends is a losing proposition.
16) The girl of your dreams may not be the girl you dreamed of. "Love at first sight" is dangerous.
17) The girl of your dreams will pursue you and there will be no mistake about it, even if you at first seemed uninterested.
18) The right girl for you will soon prove easy to talk to. She will surprise you with how interested in you she really can be. It will gradually, very gradually dawn on you that you don't have to be on your best behavior all the time.
19) If all of this seems too much for you to remember, you're not there yet but take comfort in the fact that you are on the right track, you're visiting the right site, reading the correct material and are simply in the process. It is a process.
Read more!
SEVEN LIES THE DATING GURUS TOLD YOU
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Let me ask you a question:
If you wanted to meet a fantastic woman,
would you want to learn from someone
who put PICK UP ARTISTS on a pedestal?
If you wanted to meet the kind of woman
that you could TRUST WITH YOUR LIFE,
if you wanted to meet a woman with total
INTEGRITY, a woman who would never
think of being with you as something TRIVIAL,
would you want to learn from a guy who
focused on how to "SCORE" to get
QUANTITY of just ANY girls???????
Would you trust your FUTURE with someone
who one day is all about selling "getting ALL the girls"
and the next day is about "getting QUALITY"???
Maybe the next day it will be about selling
kitchen sinks and frisbees and toilet cleaners.
This road I have taken started when I was
17 years old, and all I wanted then was a
great woman for something real. It took
almost TWO DECADES to sift through
all the TOTAL BULLCRAP out there,
ESPECIALLY from the guys who call
themselves dating gurus and pick up
artists.
I promise to you, the pain was so bad that
I wanted to kill myself at one point, but
I was lucky enough to know that there were
some people on this earth who cared about
me, so I didn't want to hurt THEM.
This meeting a great woman thing is not a
joke to me.
And of the most MASSIVE lessons I learned
was that I was being told ABSOLUTE LIES
by the supposed dating gurus and pick up
artists!!!!!!
Yes, LIES.
Not just "half-truths" but absolute lies that
will DESTROY your success with a woman
if you are looking for something REAL.
It will destroy your future even if you only
use that advice in the BEGINNING, as an
ICE-BREAKER, because it sets things up
on the WRONG TRACK, the wrong angle,
and as every day goes by with that woman,
you keep getting FARTHER and FARTHER
from her, till it's HOPELESS and lost
FOREVER.
So let me share with you SEVEN LIES the
pick-up artists and dating gurus tell you.
LIE NUMBER 1:
"IF A WOMAN SEES YOU AS RELATIONSHIP
OR MARRIAGE MATERIAL, THEN YOU WILL
BE CONSIDERED A PROVIDER, A BETA MALE,
AN "INFERIOR TYPE OF MALE" THAT IS ONLY
GOOD FOR PROVIDING MONEY FOR HER.
Much better to be seen as the male who would
NEVER settle down, who is "hard to get",
who is a slick and COCKY "player" type-
THAT is what triggers ATTRACTION."
And this my friends is a TOTAL LIE.
A lie that has DESTROYED the future that
millions of men could have had with the
women they have met so far.
The truth is that you will only be considered
a "BETA" male if you SEE YOURSELF
AS A "BETA" MALE.
If your self-concept is BETA, then I assure
you that you will be taken as a BETA male
even if you have a huge SIGN on your
forehead that says "WILL NEVER MARRY"
or says "WILL NEVER SETTLE DOWN".
If YOU think that you are SETTLING for
someone, if YOU think that you are only
in a relationship because you can't get
better, if YOU think that you are marrying
someone because YOU have to, etc etc,
THEN you are a beta male.
But when you LOVE someone and they
LOVE you back and you both WANT
to take something to a HIGHER level,
then if you DON'T do it because some
moronic "dating guru" or "pick up artist"
told you not to, and you listen to THAT
advice, then and only THEN would you
be a "beta" male.
Giving in to PRESSURE FROM AN
EXTERNAL source is what makes
one WEAK and BETA. And THAT
is what makes a woman feel REPULSED
from a man and feel ZERO attraction
for him and not want to spend the
NIGHT or even one MINUTE with
him, never mind her LIFE.
The irony again is that it's the pick up artist
advice that makes you weak and THAT
is the kind of thing that attracts the very
WORST kind of women, who will like
to TAKE ADVANTAGE of that weakness
and see what they can take out of you.
And then we wonder why the pick up artists
tell you to WATCH OUT FOR GOLDDIGGERS!!!
And "Watch out for women - they are UNFAITHFUL!"
Their advice creates weakness, which attracts
the vulture type women rather than the VIRTUOUS
ones. A great woman will simply leave you alone
and not be interested, but a horrific woman will
GRAVITATE toward the weak men- and pick
up artist advice actually makes you WEAK.
LIE NUMBER 2:
"TO GET RESPECT FROM A WOMAN,
YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE TO LEARN
X, Y, OR Z TACTIC"
This is another MASSIVE lie.
To get RESPECT from a woman, you must
first respect YOURSELF.
Don't EVER do anything that you feel is beneath
your dignity, and you will get RESPECT from
a woman.
The IRONY is that the things the pick up artists
tell you to do actually strip you of your dignity
because THEY worship women simply for
a woman's looks- the OBSESSION with having
to get QUANTITY rather than quality, the
obsession with having to FAKE YOUR IDENTITY
with all kinds of absurd tactics actually makes
you ASHAMED of who you are, rather than
LEARNING HOW TO TAKE PRIDE IN
WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's INSANE!
And I will STOP this insanity.
Women want a man who has DIGNITY and
will not SELL his dignity for ANYTHING.
LIE NUMBER 3:
"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INTO
THE FRIENDS ZONE, YOU BETTER
MAKE SURE TO GET HER INTO BED
REALLY FAST!"
The reality is that this is NONSENSE.
A great woman is not NEEDY to get into bed
with anyone, no matter WHO you are.
And if she DETECTS that you are trying
to get her into bed QUICK, she will only
feel LESS trust for you, and she will
BACK OFF faster than you can blink.
Now, of course, if you are with a woman who
sleeps around with tons of guys, it might be
another issue.
I'm talking about a great girl, not the trash.
Oh by the way, I forgot to mention, the pick
up artists NEVER give you a serious talk
about things like STD's.
NO, of course not.
It's just like the movies, and it's NOT REAL LIFE.
But in REAL life, you need to KNOW about
this stuff. The REAL WORLD is not the
DISNEY world of NO STDs that the pick up
artists and "get all the girls" like you to
BELIEVE it is.
They are BANKING on your IGNORANCE.
Why would you want to RUSH sleeping with
a woman?
There are BILLIONS of women on this earth.
More than you could ever sleep with.
Chill out and get to KNOW IF SHE IS WORTH
spending time with.
The IRONY again is that you can't lose this
way, as even if you WERE the type of guy
that didn't care about quality, you could
always get to know a lot of women this
way and not rush, and THEN have a
HUNDRED women at your fingertips
if you so wanted. AND those women
would be FAR MORE interested in you
BECAUSE you truly were relaxed and
not feeling needy to get them into bed-
it makes THEM feel more relaxed and
thus sexual with you as well!!!!!!!!!
LIE NUMBER 4:
"BEING GOOD TO A WOMAN IS
FOR LOSERS WHILE ALL WOMEN
SECRETLY FANTASIZE ABOUT
BEING WITH AN ARROGANT AND
COCKY PLAYER"
This lie really gets me, it's so MASSIVELY
UNTRUE, and yet it's everywhere in the subtleties
of the entire dating guru and pick up CULTURE
that I would need to devote an entire BOOK
to explain how HORRIFIC THIS ADVICE
IS, and how totally false it is.
It's not being GOOD to a woman that is not
attractive, it's when you are being EXTRA
NICE to a woman who has done NOTHING
to earn that treatment from you.
Do you do good things for your friends?
Do your friends to good things for you?
OF COURSE YOU DO.
And there's nothing wrong with it, it's
COOL actually.
Same thing with a woman- if she's good to
you, then if you are NOT good to her, THEN
you will be considered an INSECURE LOSER.
And guess what?
This is how quality women REALLY feel about
players that are so scared to really be good to
a woman and so scared to DROP the "masks"
they wear in the form of fake memorized lines,
and manipulative techniques to ATTEMPT to
NEGATE her self-esteem. (notice the word
ATTEMP in capitals, because it's doesn't work,
A great woman will just ignore it or CHEW
the guy up and spit him out for even trying)
LIE NUMBER 5:
"DON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING
EMOTIONAL REGARDING HER OR
YOU OR YOU WILL BE ABUSED
OR SEEN AS A GIRLY-MAN"
The TRUTH is that if you NEVER talk to her
about her things, stuff that she is going through,
you will DUMPED fast and rightly so for not
giving a rat's ass about her.
The TRUTH is that this is only a problem if a
woman is always talking about her problems to
you and is not BALANCING that with also having
FUN with you and is not willing and happy to listen
to YOUR stuff too.
The key is BALANCE, and as a MAN, you
should not be a cry-baby but you DEFINITELY
are not considered weak for having emotions
and for expressing them- this kind of bullshit
lie that is expressed by "pick up" and dating
gurus probably gives more men heart attacks
from stress than anything else. If you can't
confide at all in the woman you are with,
what the HELL is the point of being with her?
And if a woman feels she can't ever confide
in you about emotional stuff, she will simply
GET THAT CONNECTION from someone
ELSE.
And again, THIS is why these "experts" are
always talking about cheating and unfaithful
women--they surround themselves with drunken
party girls and they put Playboy and Hugh Hefner
on a pedestal, and THEN they wonder why they
are getting less than CREAM OF THE CROP
qualities in the women they meet!!!!
INSANE.
The truth is that the stuff that these guys
"teach" you will PUSH AWAY the BEST
kind of women and will attract the very
WORST type of woman.
LIE NUMBER 6:
"YOU CAN MEASURE YOUR REAL
SKILL IF YOU CAN MEET AND PICK
UP A WOMAN IN A CLUB"
ANOTHER LIE.
The reality is that meeting a woman in a club
is EASIER. Women in clubs tend to be slightly
tipsy, and are READY to be approached. I
can get any guy results in a club in 1 HOUR
of training.
The REAL test of "skill" is approaching a
great woman with high standards who is not
drunk and who is not looking to just play
around, who is looking for something meaningful,
and CONNECT with such a woman on a
DEEP level, and then to KEEP THIS UP
so that three weeks later she is just as into
you and three months later as well, etc etc.
So take it from me, you can enjoy clubs if
you want to, and if you want practice TALKING
to women, you'll find a LOT of women in clubs,
but if you are looking to meet a GREAT woman
where you will have to also form a great connection,
clubs are NOT THE PLACE to do it.
LIE NUMBER 7:
"ONLY TALK ABOUT POP CULTURE
AND NOTHING ELSE DEEP. MAKE SURE
TO NOT GET INTO ANYTHING DEEP
WITH A WOMAN, ESPECIALLY IN A
PICK-UP"
Another MASSIVE LIE.
The truth is, if you are looking to attract a
SUPERFICIAL woman who is only interested
in her nails and her own EGO, then YUP,
make sure to NOT get into anything deep.
But if you want a GREAT woman, then it's
CRUCIAL to connect on a greater level!
She is in fact going to be LOOKING to see
if you can do this. So for all you guys out
there who have a lot of GREAT INTERESTS
and who are intelligent, this is GREAT NEWS.
The key is to LAYER IN the playful vibes
AS WELL, so that a woman can see that
you have a RANGE of emotions that you
can engage in with her, and not just be
about one channel!
Read more!
If you wanted to meet a fantastic woman,
would you want to learn from someone
who put PICK UP ARTISTS on a pedestal?
If you wanted to meet the kind of woman
that you could TRUST WITH YOUR LIFE,
if you wanted to meet a woman with total
INTEGRITY, a woman who would never
think of being with you as something TRIVIAL,
would you want to learn from a guy who
focused on how to "SCORE" to get
QUANTITY of just ANY girls???????
Would you trust your FUTURE with someone
who one day is all about selling "getting ALL the girls"
and the next day is about "getting QUALITY"???
Maybe the next day it will be about selling
kitchen sinks and frisbees and toilet cleaners.
This road I have taken started when I was
17 years old, and all I wanted then was a
great woman for something real. It took
almost TWO DECADES to sift through
all the TOTAL BULLCRAP out there,
ESPECIALLY from the guys who call
themselves dating gurus and pick up
artists.
I promise to you, the pain was so bad that
I wanted to kill myself at one point, but
I was lucky enough to know that there were
some people on this earth who cared about
me, so I didn't want to hurt THEM.
This meeting a great woman thing is not a
joke to me.
And of the most MASSIVE lessons I learned
was that I was being told ABSOLUTE LIES
by the supposed dating gurus and pick up
artists!!!!!!
Yes, LIES.
Not just "half-truths" but absolute lies that
will DESTROY your success with a woman
if you are looking for something REAL.
It will destroy your future even if you only
use that advice in the BEGINNING, as an
ICE-BREAKER, because it sets things up
on the WRONG TRACK, the wrong angle,
and as every day goes by with that woman,
you keep getting FARTHER and FARTHER
from her, till it's HOPELESS and lost
FOREVER.
So let me share with you SEVEN LIES the
pick-up artists and dating gurus tell you.
LIE NUMBER 1:
"IF A WOMAN SEES YOU AS RELATIONSHIP
OR MARRIAGE MATERIAL, THEN YOU WILL
BE CONSIDERED A PROVIDER, A BETA MALE,
AN "INFERIOR TYPE OF MALE" THAT IS ONLY
GOOD FOR PROVIDING MONEY FOR HER.
Much better to be seen as the male who would
NEVER settle down, who is "hard to get",
who is a slick and COCKY "player" type-
THAT is what triggers ATTRACTION."
And this my friends is a TOTAL LIE.
A lie that has DESTROYED the future that
millions of men could have had with the
women they have met so far.
The truth is that you will only be considered
a "BETA" male if you SEE YOURSELF
AS A "BETA" MALE.
If your self-concept is BETA, then I assure
you that you will be taken as a BETA male
even if you have a huge SIGN on your
forehead that says "WILL NEVER MARRY"
or says "WILL NEVER SETTLE DOWN".
If YOU think that you are SETTLING for
someone, if YOU think that you are only
in a relationship because you can't get
better, if YOU think that you are marrying
someone because YOU have to, etc etc,
THEN you are a beta male.
But when you LOVE someone and they
LOVE you back and you both WANT
to take something to a HIGHER level,
then if you DON'T do it because some
moronic "dating guru" or "pick up artist"
told you not to, and you listen to THAT
advice, then and only THEN would you
be a "beta" male.
Giving in to PRESSURE FROM AN
EXTERNAL source is what makes
one WEAK and BETA. And THAT
is what makes a woman feel REPULSED
from a man and feel ZERO attraction
for him and not want to spend the
NIGHT or even one MINUTE with
him, never mind her LIFE.
The irony again is that it's the pick up artist
advice that makes you weak and THAT
is the kind of thing that attracts the very
WORST kind of women, who will like
to TAKE ADVANTAGE of that weakness
and see what they can take out of you.
And then we wonder why the pick up artists
tell you to WATCH OUT FOR GOLDDIGGERS!!!
And "Watch out for women - they are UNFAITHFUL!"
Their advice creates weakness, which attracts
the vulture type women rather than the VIRTUOUS
ones. A great woman will simply leave you alone
and not be interested, but a horrific woman will
GRAVITATE toward the weak men- and pick
up artist advice actually makes you WEAK.
LIE NUMBER 2:
"TO GET RESPECT FROM A WOMAN,
YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE TO LEARN
X, Y, OR Z TACTIC"
This is another MASSIVE lie.
To get RESPECT from a woman, you must
first respect YOURSELF.
Don't EVER do anything that you feel is beneath
your dignity, and you will get RESPECT from
a woman.
The IRONY is that the things the pick up artists
tell you to do actually strip you of your dignity
because THEY worship women simply for
a woman's looks- the OBSESSION with having
to get QUANTITY rather than quality, the
obsession with having to FAKE YOUR IDENTITY
with all kinds of absurd tactics actually makes
you ASHAMED of who you are, rather than
LEARNING HOW TO TAKE PRIDE IN
WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's INSANE!
And I will STOP this insanity.
Women want a man who has DIGNITY and
will not SELL his dignity for ANYTHING.
LIE NUMBER 3:
"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INTO
THE FRIENDS ZONE, YOU BETTER
MAKE SURE TO GET HER INTO BED
REALLY FAST!"
The reality is that this is NONSENSE.
A great woman is not NEEDY to get into bed
with anyone, no matter WHO you are.
And if she DETECTS that you are trying
to get her into bed QUICK, she will only
feel LESS trust for you, and she will
BACK OFF faster than you can blink.
Now, of course, if you are with a woman who
sleeps around with tons of guys, it might be
another issue.
I'm talking about a great girl, not the trash.
Oh by the way, I forgot to mention, the pick
up artists NEVER give you a serious talk
about things like STD's.
NO, of course not.
It's just like the movies, and it's NOT REAL LIFE.
But in REAL life, you need to KNOW about
this stuff. The REAL WORLD is not the
DISNEY world of NO STDs that the pick up
artists and "get all the girls" like you to
BELIEVE it is.
They are BANKING on your IGNORANCE.
Why would you want to RUSH sleeping with
a woman?
There are BILLIONS of women on this earth.
More than you could ever sleep with.
Chill out and get to KNOW IF SHE IS WORTH
spending time with.
The IRONY again is that you can't lose this
way, as even if you WERE the type of guy
that didn't care about quality, you could
always get to know a lot of women this
way and not rush, and THEN have a
HUNDRED women at your fingertips
if you so wanted. AND those women
would be FAR MORE interested in you
BECAUSE you truly were relaxed and
not feeling needy to get them into bed-
it makes THEM feel more relaxed and
thus sexual with you as well!!!!!!!!!
LIE NUMBER 4:
"BEING GOOD TO A WOMAN IS
FOR LOSERS WHILE ALL WOMEN
SECRETLY FANTASIZE ABOUT
BEING WITH AN ARROGANT AND
COCKY PLAYER"
This lie really gets me, it's so MASSIVELY
UNTRUE, and yet it's everywhere in the subtleties
of the entire dating guru and pick up CULTURE
that I would need to devote an entire BOOK
to explain how HORRIFIC THIS ADVICE
IS, and how totally false it is.
It's not being GOOD to a woman that is not
attractive, it's when you are being EXTRA
NICE to a woman who has done NOTHING
to earn that treatment from you.
Do you do good things for your friends?
Do your friends to good things for you?
OF COURSE YOU DO.
And there's nothing wrong with it, it's
COOL actually.
Same thing with a woman- if she's good to
you, then if you are NOT good to her, THEN
you will be considered an INSECURE LOSER.
And guess what?
This is how quality women REALLY feel about
players that are so scared to really be good to
a woman and so scared to DROP the "masks"
they wear in the form of fake memorized lines,
and manipulative techniques to ATTEMPT to
NEGATE her self-esteem. (notice the word
ATTEMP in capitals, because it's doesn't work,
A great woman will just ignore it or CHEW
the guy up and spit him out for even trying)
LIE NUMBER 5:
"DON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING
EMOTIONAL REGARDING HER OR
YOU OR YOU WILL BE ABUSED
OR SEEN AS A GIRLY-MAN"
The TRUTH is that if you NEVER talk to her
about her things, stuff that she is going through,
you will DUMPED fast and rightly so for not
giving a rat's ass about her.
The TRUTH is that this is only a problem if a
woman is always talking about her problems to
you and is not BALANCING that with also having
FUN with you and is not willing and happy to listen
to YOUR stuff too.
The key is BALANCE, and as a MAN, you
should not be a cry-baby but you DEFINITELY
are not considered weak for having emotions
and for expressing them- this kind of bullshit
lie that is expressed by "pick up" and dating
gurus probably gives more men heart attacks
from stress than anything else. If you can't
confide at all in the woman you are with,
what the HELL is the point of being with her?
And if a woman feels she can't ever confide
in you about emotional stuff, she will simply
GET THAT CONNECTION from someone
ELSE.
And again, THIS is why these "experts" are
always talking about cheating and unfaithful
women--they surround themselves with drunken
party girls and they put Playboy and Hugh Hefner
on a pedestal, and THEN they wonder why they
are getting less than CREAM OF THE CROP
qualities in the women they meet!!!!
INSANE.
The truth is that the stuff that these guys
"teach" you will PUSH AWAY the BEST
kind of women and will attract the very
WORST type of woman.
LIE NUMBER 6:
"YOU CAN MEASURE YOUR REAL
SKILL IF YOU CAN MEET AND PICK
UP A WOMAN IN A CLUB"
ANOTHER LIE.
The reality is that meeting a woman in a club
is EASIER. Women in clubs tend to be slightly
tipsy, and are READY to be approached. I
can get any guy results in a club in 1 HOUR
of training.
The REAL test of "skill" is approaching a
great woman with high standards who is not
drunk and who is not looking to just play
around, who is looking for something meaningful,
and CONNECT with such a woman on a
DEEP level, and then to KEEP THIS UP
so that three weeks later she is just as into
you and three months later as well, etc etc.
So take it from me, you can enjoy clubs if
you want to, and if you want practice TALKING
to women, you'll find a LOT of women in clubs,
but if you are looking to meet a GREAT woman
where you will have to also form a great connection,
clubs are NOT THE PLACE to do it.
LIE NUMBER 7:
"ONLY TALK ABOUT POP CULTURE
AND NOTHING ELSE DEEP. MAKE SURE
TO NOT GET INTO ANYTHING DEEP
WITH A WOMAN, ESPECIALLY IN A
PICK-UP"
Another MASSIVE LIE.
The truth is, if you are looking to attract a
SUPERFICIAL woman who is only interested
in her nails and her own EGO, then YUP,
make sure to NOT get into anything deep.
But if you want a GREAT woman, then it's
CRUCIAL to connect on a greater level!
She is in fact going to be LOOKING to see
if you can do this. So for all you guys out
there who have a lot of GREAT INTERESTS
and who are intelligent, this is GREAT NEWS.
The key is to LAYER IN the playful vibes
AS WELL, so that a woman can see that
you have a RANGE of emotions that you
can engage in with her, and not just be
about one channel!
Read more!
Friday, November 7, 2008
What Women Want When It Comes to a Guy's Looks
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by John Alexander
As part of my research for a guide to style, I put together a focus group of 6 randomly chosen hot, single women between 21 and 33, to find out what styles in men they considered hot.
My goal was to find the things that they all agreed on.
The results were surprising, because the issues the women had the strongest opinions about were ones that most guys would never think of.
Your Teeth!
Bad teeth are "just gross" said one blonde bombshell, to the enthusiastic agreement of the others.
So in order to not have your teeth immediately disqualify you, keep them brushed twice a day, flossing at least once. And if they're rotten or badly stained, see your dentist ASAP.
However, don't go crazy with the teeth whitener. "No one wants to kiss Chiclet Mouth," added the blonde.
Your Hands!
Women notice right off the bat if your hands are covered with dirt or grease.
"If you work with your hands," said one woman, "that's not the first thing a woman should notice about you."
So auto mechanics, construction workers, and other blue collar types, listen up.
"It's not what a person does," explained another chick. "It's just about taking care of yourself. If you can't even wash your hands, what does that say about you?"
Your Clothes!
When you're wearing jeans, leave the tennis shoes at home.
"I am a believer that athletic gear is for exercise," said a part-time model in her mid-20s. "Some boys wear only tennis shoes and that's just annoying. It shows immaturity."
Good shoes instead are loafers or boots.
Try to be neat without being anal. "You should not look sloppy," said the blonde, "but don't look so put together that you appear obsessive-compulsive."
And, be an individual, agreed the women. If you've got that one shirt that only you love, you should still wear it, even if it is somewhat "uncool." For example, take a Hawaiian shirt with a flamingo on it. Some guy who absolutely loves it can wear that shirt.
So the bottom is that a few guys can indeed pull off wearing the tennis shoes.
Sound confusing? It isn't once you realize that the simple test is this: Are you wearing clothes that display your core personality?
As one woman explained it, "You should be comfortable with what you're wearing and like what you're wearing, because women will pick up on that."
So in other words, the perfect style for you comes down to personal preferences and your individual sense of style. You can't make one rule for everything, except just be your genuine self.
Read more!
As part of my research for a guide to style, I put together a focus group of 6 randomly chosen hot, single women between 21 and 33, to find out what styles in men they considered hot.
My goal was to find the things that they all agreed on.
The results were surprising, because the issues the women had the strongest opinions about were ones that most guys would never think of.
Your Teeth!
Bad teeth are "just gross" said one blonde bombshell, to the enthusiastic agreement of the others.
So in order to not have your teeth immediately disqualify you, keep them brushed twice a day, flossing at least once. And if they're rotten or badly stained, see your dentist ASAP.
However, don't go crazy with the teeth whitener. "No one wants to kiss Chiclet Mouth," added the blonde.
Your Hands!
Women notice right off the bat if your hands are covered with dirt or grease.
"If you work with your hands," said one woman, "that's not the first thing a woman should notice about you."
So auto mechanics, construction workers, and other blue collar types, listen up.
"It's not what a person does," explained another chick. "It's just about taking care of yourself. If you can't even wash your hands, what does that say about you?"
Your Clothes!
When you're wearing jeans, leave the tennis shoes at home.
"I am a believer that athletic gear is for exercise," said a part-time model in her mid-20s. "Some boys wear only tennis shoes and that's just annoying. It shows immaturity."
Good shoes instead are loafers or boots.
Try to be neat without being anal. "You should not look sloppy," said the blonde, "but don't look so put together that you appear obsessive-compulsive."
And, be an individual, agreed the women. If you've got that one shirt that only you love, you should still wear it, even if it is somewhat "uncool." For example, take a Hawaiian shirt with a flamingo on it. Some guy who absolutely loves it can wear that shirt.
So the bottom is that a few guys can indeed pull off wearing the tennis shoes.
Sound confusing? It isn't once you realize that the simple test is this: Are you wearing clothes that display your core personality?
As one woman explained it, "You should be comfortable with what you're wearing and like what you're wearing, because women will pick up on that."
So in other words, the perfect style for you comes down to personal preferences and your individual sense of style. You can't make one rule for everything, except just be your genuine self.
Read more!
5 Simple Phrases That Will Give You Much More Power In Your Interactions With Women
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by Jay Julio
Do you want know what makes my approach to dating women different than 90% of all the other guys out their who offer dating advice?
I teach guys how to stand their ground and communicate their boundaries and expectations to women in a very direct way.
And guess what?
Women are NATURALLY attracted to men who do this — especially when you don't lose your "cool" in the process.
After all, this is EXACTLY what characters like James Bond do.
They don't need silly pick-up techniques or tricks. They attract women naturally by being masculine and standing their ground with women (and everybody else).
That's why women love them.
And that's also why we admire these types of characters.
Now, what do most "dating gurus" teach?
Generally, they teach you an assortment of attraction or seduction techniques that you use for the PURPOSE of having women feel attracted to you.
Nothing necessarily wrong with that — on one condition:
You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not in order to use them.
But why not take an approach that allows you to not only be yourself from the moment you meet a woman, but also attracts her as a side-effect?
Well, if you've been reading my material for awhile now, you've probably already made that decision.
So here are five simple phrases that will take your NATURAL attractiveness to women to the next level.
It's ALL about communicating WHO you are and WHERE you stand.
You can use them in any "tough situations" with women, which will not only communicate your major boundaries to women but create attraction AT THE SAME TIME:
PHRASE #1: "I'll Think About It"
Has a woman ever either offered you advice that you never asked her for or directly told you to do something she had no business telling you?
You know, maybe she said something along these lines:
"You should hang-out with me tonight instead of going to the game with your dad."
"Take a right here. I need to go to that convenience store."
How do you respond?
Do you agree?
Do you find yourself just "going along" with it because you don't want to displease her or cause a "scene"?
If so, here's the one phrase you need in situations where women get "demanding" or "controlling" with you:
"I'll think about it."
That's it. Then do whatever you already had in mind.
Again:
"You should hang-out with me tonight instead of going to the game with your dad."
"I'll think about it." Then continue on your way out the door, on your way to the game.
"Take a right here. I need to go to that convenience store."
"I'll think about it." Then keep driving to the destination you'd already planned.
Remember, if a woman wants you to do something FOR HER, she can ASK respectfully. And if she wants to DEMAND, you have the right to refuse her.
In fact, I'd HIGHLY suggest you do refuse!
What you're communicating is that she can't get what she wants from you by doing it in a demanding way.
That's a BIG "no-no".
PHRASE #2: "Is That Right?"
How many times has a woman either warned you or even mildly "threatened" you by telling you what you shouldn't do?
For example, maybe she cautioned you with:
"If you don't stop smoking, you'll get cancer."
"You shouldn't eat fast food. It's bad for you."
What do you say to things like that?
Maybe you get nervous or uncomfortable for being "under the gun".
Or maybe you submit, agree with her, and even feel a little guilty about it.
But there's only one phrase you need to say in these situations:
"Is that right?"
Then continue doing what she was complaining about as if her comment had no effect on you.
Again:
"If you don't stop smoking, you'll get cancer."
"Is that right?" as you take another puff.
"You shouldn't eat fast food."
"Is that right?" as you take a bite, letting out a "Yuuuum."
You know, maybe there's some truth in what she's saying and maybe she's saying it because she thinks it's the "caring" thing to do.
But guess what?
Trying to make someone else's choices for them is about the most disrespectful thing a person can do — especially when there was no invitation.
So what you're communicating whenever a woman tries to make you doubt yourself is that YOU are — and always will be — behind the driver's seat of your own life, regardless of the fact that sometimes you do make "poor" decisions.
What? ... and she doesn't?
PHRASE #3: "Maybe" Or "Probably"
Have you ever had a woman disapprove of your decisions or even "accuse" you of something?
Perhaps she said something along these lines:
"Are you going out with your friends... again!?"
"Do you find her attractive!?"
If you think back, generally how did you reply?
Did you get defensive and try to make a "case" for yourself?
Or did you get irritable and deny it?
If you have in the past, in the future there's no reason to respond in either of these two ways.
Instead, all you need to remember is one or two words:
"Maybe."
Or a sarcastic: "Probably."
"Are you going out with your friends... again!?"
"Maybe," as you pick up the phone to call your friend.
"Do you find her attractive!?"
"Probably."
What you're communicating by giving her an indifferent or vague answer is that you don't tolerate stupid questions women ask that are designed to "induce guilt" and get you to conform to their agendas.
Yet sometimes a truthful and blunt "Yes" is even appropriate.
Unconsciously, in these situations, a woman wants you to feel uncomfortable so she has you "squirming on her hook", but if you answer her question directly and honestly... and if she doesn't like the truth, she shouldn't have asked the question.
"Do you find her attractive!?"
"Yes."
Though I wouldn't recommend this until or unless you know you can handle the inevitably Temper Tantrum she'll unleash.
After all, the only reason women ask questions like these is to make you give them the answer they want. And by being open and blunt, you let them know you think for yourself, regardless of what they think.
PHRASE #4: "Perhaps I'll Tell You Next Year"
Has a woman ever "demanded" to know something about you that was really none of her business... and in a way that was TOO forward and "nosy"?
Something like:
"I tried calling you five times... where were you!?"
"How many other women are you seeing?"
How have you handled yourself in situations like these?
Maybe you got frantic and told her by explaining the details.
Of maybe you got defensive and starting making excuses.
But the truth is, there's no reason to respond from a place of powerlessness because the answers are really no concern of hers.
So all you have to remember next time is this one simple phrase:
"Perhaps I'll tell you next year."
Again:
"I tried calling you five times... where were you!?"
"Perhaps I'll tell you next year." Then change the subject.
"How many other women are you seeing?"
"Perhaps I'll tell you next year." Again, change the subject.
What you're communicating by saying this is that, if you want to reveal personal information about yourself, you'll do it on your own terms.
And doing it on your own terms does not mean having a woman force it or "beat it out of you".
PHRASE #5: "Maybe Later"
Now, how about this:
Have you ever had a woman try to get you to do something for her when she could have just as easily done it herself, but she was either too lazy or too consumed with a sense of "over-importance"?
Things like:
"Would you close the car door for me, honey?" Meanwhile, her hands are empty — aside from the cell phone she's talking on, perhaps.
"Can you do the dishes? I'm really busy."
What do you do?
Well, perhaps you just do it without thinking.
Or perhaps you think it's ridiculous but you do it anyway to prevent an altercation.
If so, here's the one phrase you need to know:
"Maybe later."
Again:
"Would you close the car door for me, honey?"
"Maybe later," as you close your own door and keep walking.
"Can you do the dishes? I'm really busy."
"Maybe later," as you go to finish up some leftover work that didn't get finished during your work day.
What you're communicating by being indifferent and then "speaking" with your actions is letting her know that you refuse to become anyone's "slave".
Of course, a direct "No" works well in these situations too.
But like the blunt "Yes", a woman will usually follow-up with the infamous Temper Tantrum. So if you're not in the mood to deal with it, a "Maybe later" is a less tedious route to take.
Now, I'm not saying you should never do things for women. Not at all. What I am saying is that you don't do things for women when they can do them themselves but they "sucker" you into doing them — out of laziness or from being on a "power trip".
When Dealing With Women's Bad Behavior... Sarcasm Is Your VERY BEST Friend!
These five simple phrases are perfect "defaults" to communicate your boundaries in these common situations... until you start coming up with your own "on the fly", according the situation.
And when you start "thinking on your feet", just remember:
Sarcasm is your VERY BEST friend when dealing with women's bad behavior!
Here's why:
There seem to be a few unspoken rules in Human Psychology that you can't address directly without losing your power:
If you DENY or DEFEND yourself, you give up your power.
If you JUSTIFY or EXPLAIN your "case", you give up your power.
If you APOLOGIZE when it's not your fault, you give up your power.
I won't go into the psychology behind that here, but...
Sarcasm allows you to avoid doing any of these things without giving up your power... yet you still communicate your boundaries — exactly what people are attempting to do with defending, justifying, and apologizing.
Only wit or sarcasm wins where those "logical" reactions lose.
Here's a few examples:
"If you don't stop smoking, you'll get cancer."
"No, I won't!"
You're defending yourself: Game over.
So how about this instead:
"And if you don't stop telling people what to do with their lives, no one's going to want to spend any time with you."
Next...
"Do you find her attractive!?"
"Ummm... no."
Obviously, you do... and you're lying about it and she knows it: Game over.
But how about this:
"Yeah... but only a little bit more than you."
And finally...
"I tried calling you five times... where were you!?"
"Oh... um... I got side-tracked at Bob's. I'm sorry."
Apologizing for your decisions: Game over.
Read more!
Do you want know what makes my approach to dating women different than 90% of all the other guys out their who offer dating advice?
I teach guys how to stand their ground and communicate their boundaries and expectations to women in a very direct way.
And guess what?
Women are NATURALLY attracted to men who do this — especially when you don't lose your "cool" in the process.
After all, this is EXACTLY what characters like James Bond do.
They don't need silly pick-up techniques or tricks. They attract women naturally by being masculine and standing their ground with women (and everybody else).
That's why women love them.
And that's also why we admire these types of characters.
Now, what do most "dating gurus" teach?
Generally, they teach you an assortment of attraction or seduction techniques that you use for the PURPOSE of having women feel attracted to you.
Nothing necessarily wrong with that — on one condition:
You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not in order to use them.
But why not take an approach that allows you to not only be yourself from the moment you meet a woman, but also attracts her as a side-effect?
Well, if you've been reading my material for awhile now, you've probably already made that decision.
So here are five simple phrases that will take your NATURAL attractiveness to women to the next level.
It's ALL about communicating WHO you are and WHERE you stand.
You can use them in any "tough situations" with women, which will not only communicate your major boundaries to women but create attraction AT THE SAME TIME:
PHRASE #1: "I'll Think About It"
Has a woman ever either offered you advice that you never asked her for or directly told you to do something she had no business telling you?
You know, maybe she said something along these lines:
"You should hang-out with me tonight instead of going to the game with your dad."
"Take a right here. I need to go to that convenience store."
How do you respond?
Do you agree?
Do you find yourself just "going along" with it because you don't want to displease her or cause a "scene"?
If so, here's the one phrase you need in situations where women get "demanding" or "controlling" with you:
"I'll think about it."
That's it. Then do whatever you already had in mind.
Again:
"You should hang-out with me tonight instead of going to the game with your dad."
"I'll think about it." Then continue on your way out the door, on your way to the game.
"Take a right here. I need to go to that convenience store."
"I'll think about it." Then keep driving to the destination you'd already planned.
Remember, if a woman wants you to do something FOR HER, she can ASK respectfully. And if she wants to DEMAND, you have the right to refuse her.
In fact, I'd HIGHLY suggest you do refuse!
What you're communicating is that she can't get what she wants from you by doing it in a demanding way.
That's a BIG "no-no".
PHRASE #2: "Is That Right?"
How many times has a woman either warned you or even mildly "threatened" you by telling you what you shouldn't do?
For example, maybe she cautioned you with:
"If you don't stop smoking, you'll get cancer."
"You shouldn't eat fast food. It's bad for you."
What do you say to things like that?
Maybe you get nervous or uncomfortable for being "under the gun".
Or maybe you submit, agree with her, and even feel a little guilty about it.
But there's only one phrase you need to say in these situations:
"Is that right?"
Then continue doing what she was complaining about as if her comment had no effect on you.
Again:
"If you don't stop smoking, you'll get cancer."
"Is that right?" as you take another puff.
"You shouldn't eat fast food."
"Is that right?" as you take a bite, letting out a "Yuuuum."
You know, maybe there's some truth in what she's saying and maybe she's saying it because she thinks it's the "caring" thing to do.
But guess what?
Trying to make someone else's choices for them is about the most disrespectful thing a person can do — especially when there was no invitation.
So what you're communicating whenever a woman tries to make you doubt yourself is that YOU are — and always will be — behind the driver's seat of your own life, regardless of the fact that sometimes you do make "poor" decisions.
What? ... and she doesn't?
PHRASE #3: "Maybe" Or "Probably"
Have you ever had a woman disapprove of your decisions or even "accuse" you of something?
Perhaps she said something along these lines:
"Are you going out with your friends... again!?"
"Do you find her attractive!?"
If you think back, generally how did you reply?
Did you get defensive and try to make a "case" for yourself?
Or did you get irritable and deny it?
If you have in the past, in the future there's no reason to respond in either of these two ways.
Instead, all you need to remember is one or two words:
"Maybe."
Or a sarcastic: "Probably."
"Are you going out with your friends... again!?"
"Maybe," as you pick up the phone to call your friend.
"Do you find her attractive!?"
"Probably."
What you're communicating by giving her an indifferent or vague answer is that you don't tolerate stupid questions women ask that are designed to "induce guilt" and get you to conform to their agendas.
Yet sometimes a truthful and blunt "Yes" is even appropriate.
Unconsciously, in these situations, a woman wants you to feel uncomfortable so she has you "squirming on her hook", but if you answer her question directly and honestly... and if she doesn't like the truth, she shouldn't have asked the question.
"Do you find her attractive!?"
"Yes."
Though I wouldn't recommend this until or unless you know you can handle the inevitably Temper Tantrum she'll unleash.
After all, the only reason women ask questions like these is to make you give them the answer they want. And by being open and blunt, you let them know you think for yourself, regardless of what they think.
PHRASE #4: "Perhaps I'll Tell You Next Year"
Has a woman ever "demanded" to know something about you that was really none of her business... and in a way that was TOO forward and "nosy"?
Something like:
"I tried calling you five times... where were you!?"
"How many other women are you seeing?"
How have you handled yourself in situations like these?
Maybe you got frantic and told her by explaining the details.
Of maybe you got defensive and starting making excuses.
But the truth is, there's no reason to respond from a place of powerlessness because the answers are really no concern of hers.
So all you have to remember next time is this one simple phrase:
"Perhaps I'll tell you next year."
Again:
"I tried calling you five times... where were you!?"
"Perhaps I'll tell you next year." Then change the subject.
"How many other women are you seeing?"
"Perhaps I'll tell you next year." Again, change the subject.
What you're communicating by saying this is that, if you want to reveal personal information about yourself, you'll do it on your own terms.
And doing it on your own terms does not mean having a woman force it or "beat it out of you".
PHRASE #5: "Maybe Later"
Now, how about this:
Have you ever had a woman try to get you to do something for her when she could have just as easily done it herself, but she was either too lazy or too consumed with a sense of "over-importance"?
Things like:
"Would you close the car door for me, honey?" Meanwhile, her hands are empty — aside from the cell phone she's talking on, perhaps.
"Can you do the dishes? I'm really busy."
What do you do?
Well, perhaps you just do it without thinking.
Or perhaps you think it's ridiculous but you do it anyway to prevent an altercation.
If so, here's the one phrase you need to know:
"Maybe later."
Again:
"Would you close the car door for me, honey?"
"Maybe later," as you close your own door and keep walking.
"Can you do the dishes? I'm really busy."
"Maybe later," as you go to finish up some leftover work that didn't get finished during your work day.
What you're communicating by being indifferent and then "speaking" with your actions is letting her know that you refuse to become anyone's "slave".
Of course, a direct "No" works well in these situations too.
But like the blunt "Yes", a woman will usually follow-up with the infamous Temper Tantrum. So if you're not in the mood to deal with it, a "Maybe later" is a less tedious route to take.
Now, I'm not saying you should never do things for women. Not at all. What I am saying is that you don't do things for women when they can do them themselves but they "sucker" you into doing them — out of laziness or from being on a "power trip".
When Dealing With Women's Bad Behavior... Sarcasm Is Your VERY BEST Friend!
These five simple phrases are perfect "defaults" to communicate your boundaries in these common situations... until you start coming up with your own "on the fly", according the situation.
And when you start "thinking on your feet", just remember:
Sarcasm is your VERY BEST friend when dealing with women's bad behavior!
Here's why:
There seem to be a few unspoken rules in Human Psychology that you can't address directly without losing your power:
If you DENY or DEFEND yourself, you give up your power.
If you JUSTIFY or EXPLAIN your "case", you give up your power.
If you APOLOGIZE when it's not your fault, you give up your power.
I won't go into the psychology behind that here, but...
Sarcasm allows you to avoid doing any of these things without giving up your power... yet you still communicate your boundaries — exactly what people are attempting to do with defending, justifying, and apologizing.
Only wit or sarcasm wins where those "logical" reactions lose.
Here's a few examples:
"If you don't stop smoking, you'll get cancer."
"No, I won't!"
You're defending yourself: Game over.
So how about this instead:
"And if you don't stop telling people what to do with their lives, no one's going to want to spend any time with you."
Next...
"Do you find her attractive!?"
"Ummm... no."
Obviously, you do... and you're lying about it and she knows it: Game over.
But how about this:
"Yeah... but only a little bit more than you."
And finally...
"I tried calling you five times... where were you!?"
"Oh... um... I got side-tracked at Bob's. I'm sorry."
Apologizing for your decisions: Game over.
Read more!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
What I've Learned About The Cold Approach
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by Mr. Mystery II
When you start out at this site, you read about all kinds of techniques and attitudes and you get excited. You start to walk around with a feeling of empowerment. You know a secret, you know how to get women.
But cold approaches are still scary.
When everyone starts, cold approaches are nerve racking -- you sweat, tremble, stumble over your words. How are you supposed to get a girl acting like this?
Keep reading and find out...
First of all, you need to accept the fact that you're not gonna be great at this when you start out. You will screw up.
But the payoff is sweet. Trust me, the embarrassments and screwups from your past will be something you look back on with great pride and they make great stories. You will be able to look back and laugh at yourself, and hopefully you are able to laugh at yourself now.
Let's talk about the attitude you should have. Bottom line, your attitude should be that of indifference. That's as far as I can go and be universally correct. I'm pretty laid back, I joke around and have fun with it. But no matter what style you have, or what your relationship goals are with the girl, indifference is key.
Here's a big one: When I started out, I didn't want the girl to know I was picking up on her when I started talking to her. I think I had mislead myself into thinking that if I let her know I was trying to pick her up, I would show too much interest and loose the edge. Or I would somehow offend her by trying to pick her up.
This attitude is a bigger problem than the nervousness, and was probably the biggest thing holding me back. Girls like to get hit on. Whether they diss you or not, they go home happy because they feel appreciated and sexy.
So when you talk to girls, don't try to hide the fact that you are attracted to them. They know what's going on, women are not stupid. Show them enough respect to be honest. Besides, who are you to hide your motive. You're a man, men like women. You like her, so don't be ashamed to show it.
The 3-second rule: I never used it when I started out. I wanted to get better at this cold approach thing and I knew I had to get out and practice to do it. So there was no need to for me to trick myself into moving in.
Ask yourself why you want to talk to her. When you find your answer (be it practice, to dance, to talk, to get a number, whatever it is) there should be nothing to stop you from moving in. And remind yourself this is gonna be fun.
This procedure takes place in your mind much faster than 3 seconds. After you have been doing this for a while you won't think -- if you see a girl you wanna talk to, you will just instinctively go talk to her.
How do I open and what do I talk about once I do open her?
As far as opening her goes, I usually just go with "how ya doin?", "hey", or "hi". But if I'm in a good mood, I'll use "Heeeeeey" jokingly. Have fun with it.
As far what to talk about, that's a tough one. I wouldn't know what to tell you, because I don't really remember what I talk about. That's a good thing.
You don't wanna walk in with a plan of what to say. Just let the conversation flow naturally. This was tough for me, but after screwing up enough all of a sudden I found I could have a convo with anyone for however long I wanted. Key point though: I didn't learn how to hold a convo from reading an article. I learned how by having conversations.
A few tips: while you are talking to her, ask her about herself, ask her if she's into what your ideal women is into. Allow her to show you who she is. The attitude you should have should be "Am I interested in her?"
Ok, here's something that will really let the girl know that you are interested in her: Eye Contact. This is even more important than kino (touching).
This is where you will be able to let her know that you are interested. You could be talking about anything -- and eye contact sets the mood. When you start talking to her generally you want to have an "I'm interested, I'm listening" look in your eyes, this will build comfort and rapport.
Later on in the convo once you've built some trust and rapport, and you have allowed her to prove she's worth your time, start to look at her with "you know what I wanna do" eyes. You aren't trying to hide your interest remember. You are confident in your sexuality, and you go after what you want.
Kino for those that don't know is a fancy way to say touching someone. Kino was awkward for me at first, but I kept at it and it has become natural. I'm not gonna try and teach you kino through an article, it can't be done. The only way to learn is to do it until it's natural. One tip I can give though is not to pay attention to what your hands are doing, just let them do their thing.
Okay, so you've approached her, you're talking to her, good eye contact, kino, she seems interesting. How do you close?
Depends on your goal and situation. If you wanna get her number, then get it. It doesn't matter how you ask at this point. By now she wants to give it to you, so you don't have to demand it. But don't be shy about asking for it either. If you can handle intense eye contact I'm pretty sure you're not gonna have trouble getting a number.
Well there you have it. After reading all that I hope you're more educated on cold approaches. But I guarantee your not gonna get good at them by reading this or any other article. But armed with this info and driven by your goal of getting better at approaching, you are well on you way.
Now get out there and have some fun with it.
Read more!
When you start out at this site, you read about all kinds of techniques and attitudes and you get excited. You start to walk around with a feeling of empowerment. You know a secret, you know how to get women.
But cold approaches are still scary.
When everyone starts, cold approaches are nerve racking -- you sweat, tremble, stumble over your words. How are you supposed to get a girl acting like this?
Keep reading and find out...
First of all, you need to accept the fact that you're not gonna be great at this when you start out. You will screw up.
But the payoff is sweet. Trust me, the embarrassments and screwups from your past will be something you look back on with great pride and they make great stories. You will be able to look back and laugh at yourself, and hopefully you are able to laugh at yourself now.
Let's talk about the attitude you should have. Bottom line, your attitude should be that of indifference. That's as far as I can go and be universally correct. I'm pretty laid back, I joke around and have fun with it. But no matter what style you have, or what your relationship goals are with the girl, indifference is key.
Here's a big one: When I started out, I didn't want the girl to know I was picking up on her when I started talking to her. I think I had mislead myself into thinking that if I let her know I was trying to pick her up, I would show too much interest and loose the edge. Or I would somehow offend her by trying to pick her up.
This attitude is a bigger problem than the nervousness, and was probably the biggest thing holding me back. Girls like to get hit on. Whether they diss you or not, they go home happy because they feel appreciated and sexy.
So when you talk to girls, don't try to hide the fact that you are attracted to them. They know what's going on, women are not stupid. Show them enough respect to be honest. Besides, who are you to hide your motive. You're a man, men like women. You like her, so don't be ashamed to show it.
The 3-second rule: I never used it when I started out. I wanted to get better at this cold approach thing and I knew I had to get out and practice to do it. So there was no need to for me to trick myself into moving in.
Ask yourself why you want to talk to her. When you find your answer (be it practice, to dance, to talk, to get a number, whatever it is) there should be nothing to stop you from moving in. And remind yourself this is gonna be fun.
This procedure takes place in your mind much faster than 3 seconds. After you have been doing this for a while you won't think -- if you see a girl you wanna talk to, you will just instinctively go talk to her.
How do I open and what do I talk about once I do open her?
As far as opening her goes, I usually just go with "how ya doin?", "hey", or "hi". But if I'm in a good mood, I'll use "Heeeeeey" jokingly. Have fun with it.
As far what to talk about, that's a tough one. I wouldn't know what to tell you, because I don't really remember what I talk about. That's a good thing.
You don't wanna walk in with a plan of what to say. Just let the conversation flow naturally. This was tough for me, but after screwing up enough all of a sudden I found I could have a convo with anyone for however long I wanted. Key point though: I didn't learn how to hold a convo from reading an article. I learned how by having conversations.
A few tips: while you are talking to her, ask her about herself, ask her if she's into what your ideal women is into. Allow her to show you who she is. The attitude you should have should be "Am I interested in her?"
Ok, here's something that will really let the girl know that you are interested in her: Eye Contact. This is even more important than kino (touching).
This is where you will be able to let her know that you are interested. You could be talking about anything -- and eye contact sets the mood. When you start talking to her generally you want to have an "I'm interested, I'm listening" look in your eyes, this will build comfort and rapport.
Later on in the convo once you've built some trust and rapport, and you have allowed her to prove she's worth your time, start to look at her with "you know what I wanna do" eyes. You aren't trying to hide your interest remember. You are confident in your sexuality, and you go after what you want.
Kino for those that don't know is a fancy way to say touching someone. Kino was awkward for me at first, but I kept at it and it has become natural. I'm not gonna try and teach you kino through an article, it can't be done. The only way to learn is to do it until it's natural. One tip I can give though is not to pay attention to what your hands are doing, just let them do their thing.
Okay, so you've approached her, you're talking to her, good eye contact, kino, she seems interesting. How do you close?
Depends on your goal and situation. If you wanna get her number, then get it. It doesn't matter how you ask at this point. By now she wants to give it to you, so you don't have to demand it. But don't be shy about asking for it either. If you can handle intense eye contact I'm pretty sure you're not gonna have trouble getting a number.
Well there you have it. After reading all that I hope you're more educated on cold approaches. But I guarantee your not gonna get good at them by reading this or any other article. But armed with this info and driven by your goal of getting better at approaching, you are well on you way.
Now get out there and have some fun with it.
Read more!
Laugh Your Way to a Great Sense of Humor
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by Mr. Fingers
I have been practicing an interesting exercise every morning that a good friend put me onto recently.
I wake up and the first thing I do is laugh.
It starts off forced, a mere raspy chuckle, until I tap into something deep within and start to crack up. My roommates think I am nuts and they get pissed off that I wake them up like this all the time, but I think I get off on that and just laugh harder! Sometimes I completely lose it and they can't help but join me.
This exercise has made it easier for me to laugh throughout my day and also I come up with funny stuff on the fly more often. If you don't mind looking like a total lunatic, give it a try!
Generally, a sense of humor is absolutely vital to your own well-being. Science has shown that it provides a unique internal massage that actually cleanses and relaxes your organs. Explains why you always feel GREAT after a good laugh!
Some people are born with a killer sense of humor... others, like myself, have to learn. The point is that it can be developed!
Watch lots of funny movies, especially the old Eddie Murphy stand-up flicks or any other great comedian. Notice how what you say is not nearly important as how and when you say it. Also notice how the most trivial things are usually hilarious!
Comedians are just very observant people who can put a clever spin on what they see. They are magicians who make us see the world in a different light. A funny person is sharp witted because he is AWARE of his surroundings. Pay attention to every detail and let that attention burn with quiet intensity. You will start to notice all sorts of odd things once you make this a habit.
Another way to work on the funny is to hang out with a hilarious group of people. Think back to the last time you laughed so hard you were in pain. Who were you with at the time? THOSE are the people you want to chill with!
Furthermore, if you are looking for inspiration from the professionals, there is an excellent book out by Melvin Helitzer called "Comedy Writing Secrets." I highly recommend this book if you are interested in improving your humor skills.
Of course, if you have confidence, a good sense of humor, and you love to laugh, there are very few girls in this world that will be able to resist you.
Read more!
I have been practicing an interesting exercise every morning that a good friend put me onto recently.
I wake up and the first thing I do is laugh.
It starts off forced, a mere raspy chuckle, until I tap into something deep within and start to crack up. My roommates think I am nuts and they get pissed off that I wake them up like this all the time, but I think I get off on that and just laugh harder! Sometimes I completely lose it and they can't help but join me.
This exercise has made it easier for me to laugh throughout my day and also I come up with funny stuff on the fly more often. If you don't mind looking like a total lunatic, give it a try!
Generally, a sense of humor is absolutely vital to your own well-being. Science has shown that it provides a unique internal massage that actually cleanses and relaxes your organs. Explains why you always feel GREAT after a good laugh!
Some people are born with a killer sense of humor... others, like myself, have to learn. The point is that it can be developed!
Watch lots of funny movies, especially the old Eddie Murphy stand-up flicks or any other great comedian. Notice how what you say is not nearly important as how and when you say it. Also notice how the most trivial things are usually hilarious!
Comedians are just very observant people who can put a clever spin on what they see. They are magicians who make us see the world in a different light. A funny person is sharp witted because he is AWARE of his surroundings. Pay attention to every detail and let that attention burn with quiet intensity. You will start to notice all sorts of odd things once you make this a habit.
Another way to work on the funny is to hang out with a hilarious group of people. Think back to the last time you laughed so hard you were in pain. Who were you with at the time? THOSE are the people you want to chill with!
Furthermore, if you are looking for inspiration from the professionals, there is an excellent book out by Melvin Helitzer called "Comedy Writing Secrets." I highly recommend this book if you are interested in improving your humor skills.
Of course, if you have confidence, a good sense of humor, and you love to laugh, there are very few girls in this world that will be able to resist you.
Read more!
Why You Should Try Speed Dating
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by Huisy
I've recently tried something here in London called Speed Dating. For those of you who don't know what it is, here's a lowdown:
One hour. Twenty girls. Three minutes each.
That's it! It's all arranged at a pub.
Twenty girls sit at a table each, and men go and sit opposite them. After three minutes a buzzer sounds and you move on. If you like the person, you tick a card. For matches (both of you ticked yes), email details are sent out to both people the next day.
My Experience With Speed Dating
Both the men and women there are generally acceptable people, and not the kind you would think are desperate to get a date. I made several useful contacts out of the men that were there. (I'm planning to work in the City of London.)
Mostly it was people in demanding jobs who don't go out to bars too often. Many of the guys said they chatted up more women that night in the hour than they had over the past month. Even I must admit I've never managed anything close to 20 chat-ups in 60 minutes.
As for the women, I've split them up like this:
5 mingers (not too good)
10 dateable girls (5-7 range)
3 lookers (8+)
2 stunners (9+)
I ticked 7 girls, and I got 4 matches. Not bad.
They don't tell you if a girl liked you if you didn't like them. Shame - always good for an ego boost!
Benefits of Speed Dating
Let's start with the obvious ones. I've been busy recently, and had only managed 4 numbers and 1 measly date last month. A bad performance, I know, but that's beside the point.
I've now got 6 dates lined up over the next week. I consider this mightily impressive, and it's great to be overloaded with women.
This method gets dates. Simple.
Now, for the more important benefits!
Whilst I consider myself to have reasonable success on the dating scene, one of my weaknesses was the opening 5 minutes. Conversation didn't often flow naturally in the beginning.
I don't think I can practice openings on 20 women in 60 minutes anywhere else. I got good at it. And after the speed dating, I went out and got 3 numbers easily at another bar.
Finally, this is a confidence booster.
This site is filled with "how to boost confidence" tips, and, as has been seen, the only real way is to get out there and try it. Best analogy I can think of is driving a car -- It was really scary first time out, but now it's natural. That state is achievable with dating as well.
The problem is people who lack confidence just won't go out and try. The best solution to this I've seen so far is DJ Boot Camp, but it still requires a lot of effort from the person.
This way, once you have paid your speed dating fee, you will HAVE to talk to 20 women, and you WON'T get a rejection, just a buzzer!
I highly recommend this as a confidence booster mainly, with the added bonus of dates!
And for the record, one of the stunners, two of the lookers and one of the datable girls checked me. Not bad!
Read more!
I've recently tried something here in London called Speed Dating. For those of you who don't know what it is, here's a lowdown:
One hour. Twenty girls. Three minutes each.
That's it! It's all arranged at a pub.
Twenty girls sit at a table each, and men go and sit opposite them. After three minutes a buzzer sounds and you move on. If you like the person, you tick a card. For matches (both of you ticked yes), email details are sent out to both people the next day.
My Experience With Speed Dating
Both the men and women there are generally acceptable people, and not the kind you would think are desperate to get a date. I made several useful contacts out of the men that were there. (I'm planning to work in the City of London.)
Mostly it was people in demanding jobs who don't go out to bars too often. Many of the guys said they chatted up more women that night in the hour than they had over the past month. Even I must admit I've never managed anything close to 20 chat-ups in 60 minutes.
As for the women, I've split them up like this:
5 mingers (not too good)
10 dateable girls (5-7 range)
3 lookers (8+)
2 stunners (9+)
I ticked 7 girls, and I got 4 matches. Not bad.
They don't tell you if a girl liked you if you didn't like them. Shame - always good for an ego boost!
Benefits of Speed Dating
Let's start with the obvious ones. I've been busy recently, and had only managed 4 numbers and 1 measly date last month. A bad performance, I know, but that's beside the point.
I've now got 6 dates lined up over the next week. I consider this mightily impressive, and it's great to be overloaded with women.
This method gets dates. Simple.
Now, for the more important benefits!
Whilst I consider myself to have reasonable success on the dating scene, one of my weaknesses was the opening 5 minutes. Conversation didn't often flow naturally in the beginning.
I don't think I can practice openings on 20 women in 60 minutes anywhere else. I got good at it. And after the speed dating, I went out and got 3 numbers easily at another bar.
Finally, this is a confidence booster.
This site is filled with "how to boost confidence" tips, and, as has been seen, the only real way is to get out there and try it. Best analogy I can think of is driving a car -- It was really scary first time out, but now it's natural. That state is achievable with dating as well.
The problem is people who lack confidence just won't go out and try. The best solution to this I've seen so far is DJ Boot Camp, but it still requires a lot of effort from the person.
This way, once you have paid your speed dating fee, you will HAVE to talk to 20 women, and you WON'T get a rejection, just a buzzer!
I highly recommend this as a confidence booster mainly, with the added bonus of dates!
And for the record, one of the stunners, two of the lookers and one of the datable girls checked me. Not bad!
Read more!
How to Avoid the Dreaded Friendzone
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by Adonis
Most guys make the mistake of making friends with a girl first in the hopes of working it into a meaningful relationship later.
This couldn't be more wrong. Not only are they wasting their time and money on the girl, but they are also digging their own graves.
These men wait around with their heads down in the hopes that she will change her mind and become romantically interested in them. However, these men fail to recognize the most basic facts: If she wasn't interested in you romantically in the beginning, what makes you think she will change her mind later?
What makes you think she's not using you as a surrogate boyfriend until she finds somebody she really wants?
What makes you think that she isn't just around for the ride while you spend your money and time on her?
The "Friendship Zone" is a trap... a trap so elaborate and strong that freeing yourself out of it is about as easy as climbing Mount Everest.
To her, being friends with you means she doesn't have any sexual attraction towards you or have any romantic interest in you. You're simply around to kill boredom or until she finds something else better to do.
She may at one point in time have found you attractive, but since she's spent enough time with you, she now believes you are as challenging as a game of checkers with her grandma. You simply do not stir the electricity in her body and that's why you are who you are: A Friend!
More often than not, once a girl has made you a friend, getting her to think of you romantically is damn near impossible. And this is what you'll hear: "Can't we just be friends?"
Just because you get along with her and are compatible with her in a lot of areas doesn't mean you are compatible intimately. Besides all this, she knows you too much already, all the sense of being mysterious and being a challenge is already gone. You are basically in arms reach for the girl and about as exciting as a G-rated movie on a Saturday night.
So how do you avoid the friendzone?
Simple...
In the beginning do not approach her in the hopes of becoming just friends.
If you are attracted in any way — big or small — do not approach her looking for friendship. Always make your intentions known in the beginning.
Do not lurk around the far corner like a long-distance peeping-tom. Come on strong like the man you are and not as the chicken that you'll become if you start a friendship.
Guys, if you are going to spend so much time and attention with a girl, you better and might as well make her your girlfriend. What have you got to show for it if she becomes just a friend?
Whenever you are interested in a woman, take her out on a real date. Don't fool yourself by merely pretending to be a friend in the hopes of winning her over later.
Read more!
Most guys make the mistake of making friends with a girl first in the hopes of working it into a meaningful relationship later.
This couldn't be more wrong. Not only are they wasting their time and money on the girl, but they are also digging their own graves.
These men wait around with their heads down in the hopes that she will change her mind and become romantically interested in them. However, these men fail to recognize the most basic facts: If she wasn't interested in you romantically in the beginning, what makes you think she will change her mind later?
What makes you think she's not using you as a surrogate boyfriend until she finds somebody she really wants?
What makes you think that she isn't just around for the ride while you spend your money and time on her?
The "Friendship Zone" is a trap... a trap so elaborate and strong that freeing yourself out of it is about as easy as climbing Mount Everest.
To her, being friends with you means she doesn't have any sexual attraction towards you or have any romantic interest in you. You're simply around to kill boredom or until she finds something else better to do.
She may at one point in time have found you attractive, but since she's spent enough time with you, she now believes you are as challenging as a game of checkers with her grandma. You simply do not stir the electricity in her body and that's why you are who you are: A Friend!
More often than not, once a girl has made you a friend, getting her to think of you romantically is damn near impossible. And this is what you'll hear: "Can't we just be friends?"
Just because you get along with her and are compatible with her in a lot of areas doesn't mean you are compatible intimately. Besides all this, she knows you too much already, all the sense of being mysterious and being a challenge is already gone. You are basically in arms reach for the girl and about as exciting as a G-rated movie on a Saturday night.
So how do you avoid the friendzone?
Simple...
In the beginning do not approach her in the hopes of becoming just friends.
If you are attracted in any way — big or small — do not approach her looking for friendship. Always make your intentions known in the beginning.
Do not lurk around the far corner like a long-distance peeping-tom. Come on strong like the man you are and not as the chicken that you'll become if you start a friendship.
Guys, if you are going to spend so much time and attention with a girl, you better and might as well make her your girlfriend. What have you got to show for it if she becomes just a friend?
Whenever you are interested in a woman, take her out on a real date. Don't fool yourself by merely pretending to be a friend in the hopes of winning her over later.
Read more!
What Emotion Did You Create?
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by ShawnStJames
On your last date, what EMOTION did you create?
I'm a seriously intellectual kinda guy, and I have to be careful to remember that women are more EMOTIONAL.
I have ended dates with the knowledge that the only emotion she felt was THINKING.
So here's my question: What emotion did you create on your last date?
A few possibilities...
1) FUN. She just plain had fun at the movie and I was easy to be around.
2) LAUGHTER. After a long week, can you make her laugh?
3) THE UNEXPECTED. Were you predictable or did you surprise her with something she's never been exposed to (such as IMAX, a fondue restaurant, etc.)?
4) CHALLENGE. Did you establish right away that women do not control you with their manipulations?
5) STYLE. Did you look slightly different than other guys?
6) INTRIGUE. This is where she learns something dramatic about you (you're thinking about joining the FBI) but you only divulge a small amount.
7) MENTAL STIMULATION. You show that you can think deeply but then switch to something less intense.
8) DIRECTION. Where are you headed and does that sound exciting to her?
Good luck!
Read more!
On your last date, what EMOTION did you create?
I'm a seriously intellectual kinda guy, and I have to be careful to remember that women are more EMOTIONAL.
I have ended dates with the knowledge that the only emotion she felt was THINKING.
So here's my question: What emotion did you create on your last date?
A few possibilities...
1) FUN. She just plain had fun at the movie and I was easy to be around.
2) LAUGHTER. After a long week, can you make her laugh?
3) THE UNEXPECTED. Were you predictable or did you surprise her with something she's never been exposed to (such as IMAX, a fondue restaurant, etc.)?
4) CHALLENGE. Did you establish right away that women do not control you with their manipulations?
5) STYLE. Did you look slightly different than other guys?
6) INTRIGUE. This is where she learns something dramatic about you (you're thinking about joining the FBI) but you only divulge a small amount.
7) MENTAL STIMULATION. You show that you can think deeply but then switch to something less intense.
8) DIRECTION. Where are you headed and does that sound exciting to her?
Good luck!
Read more!
Great Photos For the Bachelor Pad
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by DannyOcean
What types of guys do girls typically go for?
Well, adventurous, outgoing, respectful, etc. So...
Adventurous - Done anything exciting lately (skydiving, mountain climbing, etc.)? Take a picture of it and put it on the fridge. Traveling counts too. If you've got a photo book sitting out of a recent trip that is great and makes for good convo.
Outgoing - Lots of pictures of your friends. Having a wide variety of pictures of your friends is just about the best thing you can do for yourself. Male and female friends by the way. Nothing is better than having a picture up of a couple of girls (maybe cousins or girlfriends of your buddies) and having the girl wonder...
Respectful - A family picture of two is great and shows that family is important to you.
Don't have too many pictures of yourself (even in groups) up. Maybe one or two.
Try to make the pictures interesting. If you were in L.A. recently and just happened to be at the Playboy Mansion and just happened to meet Hugh Hefner and have your picture taken with him, that would make a great picture to have displayed.
Just try to think like a female and what they are looking for and then provide photos to back up those qualities in yourself. It'll work like magic!
Read more!
What types of guys do girls typically go for?
Well, adventurous, outgoing, respectful, etc. So...
Adventurous - Done anything exciting lately (skydiving, mountain climbing, etc.)? Take a picture of it and put it on the fridge. Traveling counts too. If you've got a photo book sitting out of a recent trip that is great and makes for good convo.
Outgoing - Lots of pictures of your friends. Having a wide variety of pictures of your friends is just about the best thing you can do for yourself. Male and female friends by the way. Nothing is better than having a picture up of a couple of girls (maybe cousins or girlfriends of your buddies) and having the girl wonder...
Respectful - A family picture of two is great and shows that family is important to you.
Don't have too many pictures of yourself (even in groups) up. Maybe one or two.
Try to make the pictures interesting. If you were in L.A. recently and just happened to be at the Playboy Mansion and just happened to meet Hugh Hefner and have your picture taken with him, that would make a great picture to have displayed.
Just try to think like a female and what they are looking for and then provide photos to back up those qualities in yourself. It'll work like magic!
Read more!
An Excellent Place to Meet Women
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by Bungo Pony
I think that a Karaoke bar is an excellent place to meet women. If you can sing — Great! If you can't sing — Great!
Either way, get up on stage and sing something. It'll build up some confidence in you, and shows that you're not afraid of doing it.
Also, think of the possibilities!
Now that you've been up on stage, you can freely walk up to any woman and say "How come I haven't seen you up on stage?" or "Would you like me to sing you something?"
If she has been up on stage, you can ask her "Where did you learn to sing like that?"
There are lots of possibilities, so I urge you all who haven't tried it, to go out and do it!
Read more!
I think that a Karaoke bar is an excellent place to meet women. If you can sing — Great! If you can't sing — Great!
Either way, get up on stage and sing something. It'll build up some confidence in you, and shows that you're not afraid of doing it.
Also, think of the possibilities!
Now that you've been up on stage, you can freely walk up to any woman and say "How come I haven't seen you up on stage?" or "Would you like me to sing you something?"
If she has been up on stage, you can ask her "Where did you learn to sing like that?"
There are lots of possibilities, so I urge you all who haven't tried it, to go out and do it!
Read more!
A Great Action Date You Should Try
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by ApocalypseCow
I had a date last night, and I originally had plans to do something outside. The problem? It started raining.
The solution? Bowling!
Damn, this was a great date. I was a little apprehensive, but it worked out so well. It's fun, plus there are lots of opportunities for kino (touching). There's lots of stuff to laugh at (missing easy shots, making hard ones) and you can build up some friendly tension by competing.
Also, you get to be out in the public. In the past, I had vastly under-estimated how important this was. But now, I know — women want to be seen with a guy, and that makes them feel good.
And if you're wondering, getting this girl to come into my apartment for an "after date drink" was trivial.
From now on, bowling is going to be my standard first/second action date.
Read more!
I had a date last night, and I originally had plans to do something outside. The problem? It started raining.
The solution? Bowling!
Damn, this was a great date. I was a little apprehensive, but it worked out so well. It's fun, plus there are lots of opportunities for kino (touching). There's lots of stuff to laugh at (missing easy shots, making hard ones) and you can build up some friendly tension by competing.
Also, you get to be out in the public. In the past, I had vastly under-estimated how important this was. But now, I know — women want to be seen with a guy, and that makes them feel good.
And if you're wondering, getting this girl to come into my apartment for an "after date drink" was trivial.
From now on, bowling is going to be my standard first/second action date.
Read more!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Approach Any Woman Through Dissociation
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by Derek Vitalio
Approaching women is difficult.
Most guys I know would almost rather run naked in front of a stadium full of Promise Keepers than approach a beautiful woman cold and start a conversation with her. If you have trouble walking up to women, or have any kind of hesitation at all, it will help you to master the secret power of dissociation.
Normally, when you get that feeling of fear and hesitation, emotionally detaching yourself from the moment is all but impossible no matter how hard you try. That's because using sheer willpower to consciously banish your fear and hesitation doesn't work. Your willpower is no match for your unconscious mind's program of fear and hesitation -- fear and hesitation that you've probably practiced for years.
Sheer willpower won't work. Instead, you can "trick" your unconscious mind into helping you and "install" better programming of relaxed, playful confidence.
The next time you find yourself hesitating to approach a beautiful woman that knocks your socks off, STOP. Take a breath and allow a wave of relaxation to move through your body. Next, imagine stepping outside of your own body and looking at the situation from a third-person perspective. Imagine seeing yourself standing there, her, and the rest of the environment around you.
From this third-person perspective you'll find yourself relaxed and objective. And you won't feel as if you're doing an approach anymore. Rather, you'll have the unusual but calming feeling that you're just WATCHING an approach, like watching a movie. You've dissociated yourself from all the unhelpful feelings and thoughts.
Now imagine watching yourself walking up to the beautiful woman. Watch yourself as someone who is friendly, playful, relaxed, and curious about her and say to her, "Excuse me, I just noticed something interesting about you." Imagine her smiling back and responding to whatever you say with curiosity.
When you dissociate and watch the events from a third-person perspective like this, you're hypnotically practicing success. You're programming your unconscious mind with new experiences and beliefs of relaxed confidence.
If she walks away before you have a chance to actually approach, don't worry about it. Do NOT put extra pressure on yourself. Relax, dissociate, and relax. This is called practicing. There will always be more women.
With enough practice through dissociation, your willpower will naturally become congruent with your new programming and you'll no longer have to do the exercise. You'll simply be able to approach women easily and at will.
Derek Vitalio
Learn the Science of Seduction
http://www.seductionscience.com
Read more!
Approaching women is difficult.
Most guys I know would almost rather run naked in front of a stadium full of Promise Keepers than approach a beautiful woman cold and start a conversation with her. If you have trouble walking up to women, or have any kind of hesitation at all, it will help you to master the secret power of dissociation.
Normally, when you get that feeling of fear and hesitation, emotionally detaching yourself from the moment is all but impossible no matter how hard you try. That's because using sheer willpower to consciously banish your fear and hesitation doesn't work. Your willpower is no match for your unconscious mind's program of fear and hesitation -- fear and hesitation that you've probably practiced for years.
Sheer willpower won't work. Instead, you can "trick" your unconscious mind into helping you and "install" better programming of relaxed, playful confidence.
The next time you find yourself hesitating to approach a beautiful woman that knocks your socks off, STOP. Take a breath and allow a wave of relaxation to move through your body. Next, imagine stepping outside of your own body and looking at the situation from a third-person perspective. Imagine seeing yourself standing there, her, and the rest of the environment around you.
From this third-person perspective you'll find yourself relaxed and objective. And you won't feel as if you're doing an approach anymore. Rather, you'll have the unusual but calming feeling that you're just WATCHING an approach, like watching a movie. You've dissociated yourself from all the unhelpful feelings and thoughts.
Now imagine watching yourself walking up to the beautiful woman. Watch yourself as someone who is friendly, playful, relaxed, and curious about her and say to her, "Excuse me, I just noticed something interesting about you." Imagine her smiling back and responding to whatever you say with curiosity.
When you dissociate and watch the events from a third-person perspective like this, you're hypnotically practicing success. You're programming your unconscious mind with new experiences and beliefs of relaxed confidence.
If she walks away before you have a chance to actually approach, don't worry about it. Do NOT put extra pressure on yourself. Relax, dissociate, and relax. This is called practicing. There will always be more women.
With enough practice through dissociation, your willpower will naturally become congruent with your new programming and you'll no longer have to do the exercise. You'll simply be able to approach women easily and at will.
Derek Vitalio
Learn the Science of Seduction
http://www.seductionscience.com
Read more!
You Want to Look Prepared
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by Anti-Dump
Always carry a pencil and paper.
You WANT to look prepared. You are silently telling her YOU ask girls for numbers.
Women are not men. They don't think like we do. Women only want a guy when other girls want him. They want a guy who is in demand. They are not jealous of other girls.
She will assume you are successful if you are prepared. If you weren't, you wouldn't be carrying your pencil. They know men don't do things for nothing.
Women who know you might be seeing others, are less likely to play games. If they like you, they will be AFRAID to take chances losing you. They know if they say "I'm busy" too many times you will call someone else.
Only two types of women will not like you carrying a pencil for numbers:
1) A deeply insecure woman with emotional problems. She cannot stand the thought of competing with others.
2) A control-freak or manipulator. This kind wants to have it ALL her way. She a 90-10 TAKER in relationships. She is stubborn and inflexible.
Normal women will be surprised.
Since most guys ARE NOT prepared she will wonder what OTHER things you are good at.
Well good luck, guys.
Read more!
Always carry a pencil and paper.
You WANT to look prepared. You are silently telling her YOU ask girls for numbers.
Women are not men. They don't think like we do. Women only want a guy when other girls want him. They want a guy who is in demand. They are not jealous of other girls.
She will assume you are successful if you are prepared. If you weren't, you wouldn't be carrying your pencil. They know men don't do things for nothing.
Women who know you might be seeing others, are less likely to play games. If they like you, they will be AFRAID to take chances losing you. They know if they say "I'm busy" too many times you will call someone else.
Only two types of women will not like you carrying a pencil for numbers:
1) A deeply insecure woman with emotional problems. She cannot stand the thought of competing with others.
2) A control-freak or manipulator. This kind wants to have it ALL her way. She a 90-10 TAKER in relationships. She is stubborn and inflexible.
Normal women will be surprised.
Since most guys ARE NOT prepared she will wonder what OTHER things you are good at.
Well good luck, guys.
Read more!
Never Run Out of Things to Talk About with Women
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by Scoop
I am constantly amazed at how impressed a lot of women are that I am able to carry on a conversation about basic current events.
I'm telling you guys, get in the habit of reading your local newspaper - or ever better, the New York Times or Washington Post - for just 10 minutes a day, and not only will you be more well-informed, you can use this knowledge to impress the ladies.
Women want to be with someone they think is worldly, intelligent, and insightful. It makes them feel secure - like you aren't some idiot who just doesn't get it. As Kool Moe Dee once said, "Knowledge is king."
I'm a journalist, so it's natural that I read the newspaper every day and try to be at least conversational about things going on in the world around me. TV is ok - but if you want the little details that your average glazed-eyed couch potato will never get, read the paper - and not just the sports section.
Seriously, skim the paper each day and try to make a point of reading at least one article of interest to you. This article can be about politics, crime, a high-profile court case, entertainment news, military affairs, international affairs, hell, even "news of the weird." News of the weird, found in many local alternative newspapers, has tons of freakish, but true, stories that make great conversation pieces.
Reading the paper will give you things to talk about when the conversation stalls, and make you look smart and sexy in the process.
One word of warning: Don't come on too strong with your political views - conservative, liberal, whatever - at first. Feel her out and see where she stands, then gently but firmly state your views.
No one likes a blowhard who doesn't respect other people's opinions. That's fine with your blowhard buddies, but it will never get you laid.
Trust me, read the paper. It's the cheapest education you'll ever get.
Read more!
I am constantly amazed at how impressed a lot of women are that I am able to carry on a conversation about basic current events.
I'm telling you guys, get in the habit of reading your local newspaper - or ever better, the New York Times or Washington Post - for just 10 minutes a day, and not only will you be more well-informed, you can use this knowledge to impress the ladies.
Women want to be with someone they think is worldly, intelligent, and insightful. It makes them feel secure - like you aren't some idiot who just doesn't get it. As Kool Moe Dee once said, "Knowledge is king."
I'm a journalist, so it's natural that I read the newspaper every day and try to be at least conversational about things going on in the world around me. TV is ok - but if you want the little details that your average glazed-eyed couch potato will never get, read the paper - and not just the sports section.
Seriously, skim the paper each day and try to make a point of reading at least one article of interest to you. This article can be about politics, crime, a high-profile court case, entertainment news, military affairs, international affairs, hell, even "news of the weird." News of the weird, found in many local alternative newspapers, has tons of freakish, but true, stories that make great conversation pieces.
Reading the paper will give you things to talk about when the conversation stalls, and make you look smart and sexy in the process.
One word of warning: Don't come on too strong with your political views - conservative, liberal, whatever - at first. Feel her out and see where she stands, then gently but firmly state your views.
No one likes a blowhard who doesn't respect other people's opinions. That's fine with your blowhard buddies, but it will never get you laid.
Trust me, read the paper. It's the cheapest education you'll ever get.
Read more!
Pre-Date Phone Conversations
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by Allen Thompson
It is usually a mistake to spend a great deal of time talking to a woman on the phone before your actual first date together.
You've got her phone number and you've got a date for next Saturday. You think talking to her on the phone several times (at 2 hours a pop) will make your eventual first date go awesome. After all, you seem to be establishing rapport and getting to know one another better.
Unfortunately, such intense pre-date conversations often increase the awkwardness and tension present on the first date... as conversing face-to-face and talking on the phone are two completely different things.
Keep you pre-date conversations short and sweet and she'll actually become more and more curious about you and eagerly look forward to your evening together.
Read more!
It is usually a mistake to spend a great deal of time talking to a woman on the phone before your actual first date together.
You've got her phone number and you've got a date for next Saturday. You think talking to her on the phone several times (at 2 hours a pop) will make your eventual first date go awesome. After all, you seem to be establishing rapport and getting to know one another better.
Unfortunately, such intense pre-date conversations often increase the awkwardness and tension present on the first date... as conversing face-to-face and talking on the phone are two completely different things.
Keep you pre-date conversations short and sweet and she'll actually become more and more curious about you and eagerly look forward to your evening together.
Read more!
People-Watching and How to Project a Little Confidence
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by Gipper
When I go out to the grocery store, mall, or any place where large groups of people congregate, I like to observe how they act. I'm sure this is nothing new, as a lot of folks like to people-watch, but I've noticed something since I started posting here:
There are a lot of guys who slouch, slump, or generally create an impression of being beaten down by life.
Myself, I make a point to sit up straight, walk as tall as I can, and hold my body in a powerful manner. You can't imagine the difference this makes in my personality and how people react to me.
As a DJ, you should come across as a powerful, vibrant man. The perfect example of the Alpha-Male. Slouching in your chair, or walking with your shoulders slumped over does not create the image of a powerful man.
Even if you are not yet brimming with confidence, simply holding your body in a strong position will give others the impression that you are confident about yourself, and they will treat you as such.
This is a relatively easy way to fake a little confidence, and get the ball rolling on your way to DJ-ness!
Read more!
When I go out to the grocery store, mall, or any place where large groups of people congregate, I like to observe how they act. I'm sure this is nothing new, as a lot of folks like to people-watch, but I've noticed something since I started posting here:
There are a lot of guys who slouch, slump, or generally create an impression of being beaten down by life.
Myself, I make a point to sit up straight, walk as tall as I can, and hold my body in a powerful manner. You can't imagine the difference this makes in my personality and how people react to me.
As a DJ, you should come across as a powerful, vibrant man. The perfect example of the Alpha-Male. Slouching in your chair, or walking with your shoulders slumped over does not create the image of a powerful man.
Even if you are not yet brimming with confidence, simply holding your body in a strong position will give others the impression that you are confident about yourself, and they will treat you as such.
This is a relatively easy way to fake a little confidence, and get the ball rolling on your way to DJ-ness!
Read more!
Don't Have a Girlfriend?
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by Mark
Many guys get all down and discouraged because they don't have a girlfriend.
Rather than have that bad attitude, just enjoy where you are right now. Choose to be happy.
I was thinking about all of the crap I had to put up with when I had a steady girlfriend. Many women constantly nag, bitch, and complain. We all know plenty of people who aren't happy in their relationships and are miserable.
Having a girlfriend takes a lot of time, effort, and sometimes money. Sometimes it's just not worth the hassle. Yes, there are some good perks to having a girlfriend, but there are also a lot of perks to not having a girlfriend.
The point I'm trying to make is that you should all enjoy being single while you can. Enjoy every day of your life.
Read up on these tips in this newsletter, be positive, have a good attitude, and before you know it, you'll find someone great.
But in the mean time, enjoy where you are.
Mark
poncho382@yahoo.com
Read more!
Many guys get all down and discouraged because they don't have a girlfriend.
Rather than have that bad attitude, just enjoy where you are right now. Choose to be happy.
I was thinking about all of the crap I had to put up with when I had a steady girlfriend. Many women constantly nag, bitch, and complain. We all know plenty of people who aren't happy in their relationships and are miserable.
Having a girlfriend takes a lot of time, effort, and sometimes money. Sometimes it's just not worth the hassle. Yes, there are some good perks to having a girlfriend, but there are also a lot of perks to not having a girlfriend.
The point I'm trying to make is that you should all enjoy being single while you can. Enjoy every day of your life.
Read up on these tips in this newsletter, be positive, have a good attitude, and before you know it, you'll find someone great.
But in the mean time, enjoy where you are.
Mark
poncho382@yahoo.com
Read more!
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