by J. Koegler
"So what do you do for fun?"
This is a great probing question for a woman that you're chatting up, and you're unsure if she has a boyfriend -- before you commence with closing for the phone #.
It's a great lead-in because it comes off as non-obtrusive and you don't look like a loser to her, asking the common "Do you have a boyfriend?" question that she hears all the time.
You're interested in knowing what she does in her spare time, and it also makes her think you might be a "fun guy" to be around, while at the same time gives you your answer as to whether she is taken or not.
If she is in a serious relationship, most of the time she will mention the bf when talking about what she likes to do.
Try it. It's smooth and it definitely works.
J. Koegler
j_koegler@hotmail.com
Read more!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Walk Away
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by Scott
It doesn't have to be a special thing, or well-timed, or anything. Wait for a moment when you're hanging around with your love interest and she's not paying attention to what you're doing. If you're at her house and the phone rings or something.
Just get up and leave, don't say a word, and be sure she doesn't see you leave.
You've forced her to do a few things. First of all, she's going to look around for you if it is at all possible you could be hiding somewhere. Second, she's going to have to try and rationalize why you would leave without saying goodbye or saying anything.
For almost all women this will nag at her for quite a while, which also means she's thinking about you.
The second part of The Walk Away is to not try to come up with an excuse.
Next time you see her she will most likely bring it up, if not then she's not that interested in you anyway. Simply shrug and apologize without very much conviction.
All of this is building up your sense of mystery and makes you look like you must have something more exciting than her going on. Women want to be noticed, and when you just walk away it's like telling her that she's really not that important to you yet.
She will want to remedy that, usually by trying to get you to pay more attention to her, which is good of course.
Read more!
It doesn't have to be a special thing, or well-timed, or anything. Wait for a moment when you're hanging around with your love interest and she's not paying attention to what you're doing. If you're at her house and the phone rings or something.
Just get up and leave, don't say a word, and be sure she doesn't see you leave.
You've forced her to do a few things. First of all, she's going to look around for you if it is at all possible you could be hiding somewhere. Second, she's going to have to try and rationalize why you would leave without saying goodbye or saying anything.
For almost all women this will nag at her for quite a while, which also means she's thinking about you.
The second part of The Walk Away is to not try to come up with an excuse.
Next time you see her she will most likely bring it up, if not then she's not that interested in you anyway. Simply shrug and apologize without very much conviction.
All of this is building up your sense of mystery and makes you look like you must have something more exciting than her going on. Women want to be noticed, and when you just walk away it's like telling her that she's really not that important to you yet.
She will want to remedy that, usually by trying to get you to pay more attention to her, which is good of course.
Read more!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Handling Fear of Rejection
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I’m in the mood for writing in English, so grab some finger food, cold drinks, and a dictionary to ease your way in today’s lesson.
Everyday I meet with countless and countless people who says that they are desperate enough for some romance, but couldn’t get their feet just about one meter away from their dream girl. Some of those people are strangers I talk to and encounter in the bus or the waiting room, some are my close friends.
Many years ago, I was once one of them too.
Being such a lossy guy, at that time I couldn’t understand why was it so hard for me to initiate relationship with girls of my type. Let alone having romance, just walking up to them seems much more difficult than giving impromptu presentation to a room full of CEOs.
If you’re like me, by now you would already have consulted several self-help materials in search for solutions. It really surprises me that no definite answer is available on such crucial topic. The more I read those books, the more I find that most intellectuals and scholars out there are either clueless or don’t have any real-life non-theoritical approach to the question.
But years of pondering and endless discussions with my friends finally bring me to a good solid reason why such thing happens.
It all roots in these two things: rejection and our fear of it.
Let’s talk about the rejection first. In every act of communication or interaction, there is always a possibility of one party to get turned down or rejected by the other. And when that happens, our mind with its highly complicated wires and system will try to extract meanings out of it.
Extracting meanings is something our brain is built for. It functions to provide us a logical cause and effect explanation. However, for most people, their brains are habituated to go even further: taking things personally.
For such people, getting a simple ‘Sorry, but I’m busy,’ hand gesture from a girl would trigger them to think, “See? She’s so out of my league, I shouldn’t have come and humiliate myself like this. I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I did this. Of course she wouldn’t want to talk to skinny guy like me, what in the world I was thinking…”
Clap your hands twice if you can see yourself in the picture above.
Listen to this: if you are always that unsympathetic and ruthless to yourself each time you get rejected, no wonder you don’t have the power next time you find an attractive girl you like.
Your own brain is jamming your own body. You shouldn’t let your past experience define your future. Stop taking things personally. And that’s a golden rule especially when dealing with women.
Remember that for every rejection you get, at least 50 percent it comes from her own emotional state. She could be just having a bad hair day, or got broken from her long term relationship, etc that she couldn’t contain herself for a good friendly conversation.
If you really think about it, you’ll understand that rejection is never truly about you. Today, years after this hit my head in the first time, I recognize that most girls who reject, look tough and bitchy are usually the ones who are so insecure about themselves.
Rarely it was because of my approach to them.
RARELY it was because of you!
This is only half of the answers, but you can’t help to notice that you are starting to feel enlightened and powerful, can you?
The second thing is that you should know that fear of rejection is a sign that your defense mechanism is still functioning well. It’s there to remind you that despite approaching the girl might be a risky business, but your mind will always be able to protect yourself should things gone wrong.
Fear of rejection is simply the alarm signal, letting you know that you’re entering a ‘battle mode.’ There are two things you can do when it buzzes. First, you hold, waiting for a good time. Or second, you march on forward instantly. Most guys do the foremost with intention to build enough confidence and bag of tricks for the approach.
Unfortunately, that’s a wrong move.
When an alarm sets off, you are not supposed to wait and analyze things. It’s already too late for that! Not only it is the worst time for getting in touch with your creative side, but you also won’t be able to come up with anything good due to the wailing noise inside of your head.
When fear of rejection creeps into your mind, it rings for an IMMEDIATE ACTION! Set aside your logical mind, put your intuition on the driver’s seat, and use that alerted emotional state as a new-found power to approach the girls.
I’ll always be wondering why I never found such advice in most modern self-help books these days.
Fear has both the power to cripple and to motivate. Fortunately, you can choose which function you want fear to do for you. Utilize the fear sensation to your own advantage so that you grow terribly afraid…
… afraid of missing out an adventure.
I believe understanding the two keys above is the fundamentally important in ending anyone’s desperate fear of rejection. The transformation from a lossy chump to a glossy guy can happen at any moment now, but only if you’re willing to do something about it.
So stop reading other materials on this subject and start doing some action with your life.
Glossy for life,
Lex dePraxis
http://www.hitmansystem.com
Read more!
Everyday I meet with countless and countless people who says that they are desperate enough for some romance, but couldn’t get their feet just about one meter away from their dream girl. Some of those people are strangers I talk to and encounter in the bus or the waiting room, some are my close friends.
Many years ago, I was once one of them too.
Being such a lossy guy, at that time I couldn’t understand why was it so hard for me to initiate relationship with girls of my type. Let alone having romance, just walking up to them seems much more difficult than giving impromptu presentation to a room full of CEOs.
If you’re like me, by now you would already have consulted several self-help materials in search for solutions. It really surprises me that no definite answer is available on such crucial topic. The more I read those books, the more I find that most intellectuals and scholars out there are either clueless or don’t have any real-life non-theoritical approach to the question.
But years of pondering and endless discussions with my friends finally bring me to a good solid reason why such thing happens.
It all roots in these two things: rejection and our fear of it.
Let’s talk about the rejection first. In every act of communication or interaction, there is always a possibility of one party to get turned down or rejected by the other. And when that happens, our mind with its highly complicated wires and system will try to extract meanings out of it.
Extracting meanings is something our brain is built for. It functions to provide us a logical cause and effect explanation. However, for most people, their brains are habituated to go even further: taking things personally.
For such people, getting a simple ‘Sorry, but I’m busy,’ hand gesture from a girl would trigger them to think, “See? She’s so out of my league, I shouldn’t have come and humiliate myself like this. I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I did this. Of course she wouldn’t want to talk to skinny guy like me, what in the world I was thinking…”
Clap your hands twice if you can see yourself in the picture above.
Listen to this: if you are always that unsympathetic and ruthless to yourself each time you get rejected, no wonder you don’t have the power next time you find an attractive girl you like.
Your own brain is jamming your own body. You shouldn’t let your past experience define your future. Stop taking things personally. And that’s a golden rule especially when dealing with women.
Remember that for every rejection you get, at least 50 percent it comes from her own emotional state. She could be just having a bad hair day, or got broken from her long term relationship, etc that she couldn’t contain herself for a good friendly conversation.
If you really think about it, you’ll understand that rejection is never truly about you. Today, years after this hit my head in the first time, I recognize that most girls who reject, look tough and bitchy are usually the ones who are so insecure about themselves.
Rarely it was because of my approach to them.
RARELY it was because of you!
This is only half of the answers, but you can’t help to notice that you are starting to feel enlightened and powerful, can you?
The second thing is that you should know that fear of rejection is a sign that your defense mechanism is still functioning well. It’s there to remind you that despite approaching the girl might be a risky business, but your mind will always be able to protect yourself should things gone wrong.
Fear of rejection is simply the alarm signal, letting you know that you’re entering a ‘battle mode.’ There are two things you can do when it buzzes. First, you hold, waiting for a good time. Or second, you march on forward instantly. Most guys do the foremost with intention to build enough confidence and bag of tricks for the approach.
Unfortunately, that’s a wrong move.
When an alarm sets off, you are not supposed to wait and analyze things. It’s already too late for that! Not only it is the worst time for getting in touch with your creative side, but you also won’t be able to come up with anything good due to the wailing noise inside of your head.
When fear of rejection creeps into your mind, it rings for an IMMEDIATE ACTION! Set aside your logical mind, put your intuition on the driver’s seat, and use that alerted emotional state as a new-found power to approach the girls.
I’ll always be wondering why I never found such advice in most modern self-help books these days.
Fear has both the power to cripple and to motivate. Fortunately, you can choose which function you want fear to do for you. Utilize the fear sensation to your own advantage so that you grow terribly afraid…
… afraid of missing out an adventure.
I believe understanding the two keys above is the fundamentally important in ending anyone’s desperate fear of rejection. The transformation from a lossy chump to a glossy guy can happen at any moment now, but only if you’re willing to do something about it.
So stop reading other materials on this subject and start doing some action with your life.
Glossy for life,
Lex dePraxis
http://www.hitmansystem.com
Read more!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Go Fly a Kite - Seriously
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by Michael Webb
I can't think of a much more romantic Sunday afternoon than a picnic followed by kite flying on a blustery day. One of the most romantic aspects of kite flying can be the making of the kites.
Kites are relatively simple to make. All you need are some wooden rods, string, small nails, glue and some sort of paper such as wax paper or parchment paper. I think it is fun to work on designing and building the kites together or have a competition to see who can make the kite that will fly the highest. If you want to go all out, you can also make a fancy tail for a kite using pieces of scrap material you may have lying around the house.
If you check out a book on kite making at the library, you can learn how to make box kites, acrobatic kites or other unique kite creations. Just remember that the most important aspect of kite making and kite flying is the time spent together.
Gather your materials, make a few sandwiches, turn on the radio and have a wonderful time making your kites together. Then go find an open, windy place to test out your creations.
Read more!
I can't think of a much more romantic Sunday afternoon than a picnic followed by kite flying on a blustery day. One of the most romantic aspects of kite flying can be the making of the kites.
Kites are relatively simple to make. All you need are some wooden rods, string, small nails, glue and some sort of paper such as wax paper or parchment paper. I think it is fun to work on designing and building the kites together or have a competition to see who can make the kite that will fly the highest. If you want to go all out, you can also make a fancy tail for a kite using pieces of scrap material you may have lying around the house.
If you check out a book on kite making at the library, you can learn how to make box kites, acrobatic kites or other unique kite creations. Just remember that the most important aspect of kite making and kite flying is the time spent together.
Gather your materials, make a few sandwiches, turn on the radio and have a wonderful time making your kites together. Then go find an open, windy place to test out your creations.
Read more!
How Can I Date Women Out of My League?
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by Ron Louis & David Copeland
You probably decided what league you were in during high school. If you got a hot girl (by sheer chance, mostly), then you decided you were in the "hot chick" league, and that is what you went for, what you expected, and what you got from then on.
If you didn't get a hot girl in high school (and most of us didn't), then you decided that you were a minor-league player when it came to women. From then on you went for less-attractive women, you expected less-attractive women, and you got less-attractive women.
If you are going to get major-league girls, you need to understand this: the decision you made in high school about what league of woman you were in is totally out of date now. Take a look at your life. Are you the same guy you were when you were a pimply-faced teenager? Of course not. So why should you be stuck with the same league of women that you were then? It's time to move up.
Here's what to do:
1. Upgrade your looks.
Most guys who date women who they aren't attracted to decided on their "look" at about the same time they decided they could never have a major-league babe. They set their style in stone, and haven't upgraded their "look" since then.
Consequently, their haircuts and clothes are hopelessly out-of-date. And that matters to women. Hot women simply will not bed down with a guy whose looks are way out of date. You've gotta upgrade.
This doesn't have to be hard, or even that expensive. Get a new hairstyle, and get your hair cut by a real pro. Go into clothing stores and tell the clerks that you are looking for a new look. Take their advice, and get some new outfits. Buy a good cologne (i.e., an expensive one, like "Cool Water" or "Armani"), and wear it.
Above all else, don't be afraid to try something new in how you look. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it'll get you on the hot women's radar screen for the first time. More importantly, you'll feel different. You'll feel more confident, and that will help get you get the girls you desire.
2. Upgrade your behavior.
Of course, new clothes and a new haircut aren't enough to get a hot babe in the sack. You must change your behavior, too.
A hot woman is attracted to a guy who is able to have fun, and who seems to enjoy his life. She is turned off by a guy who seems like he is looking for a woman to make his life worth living.
Consequently, you've got to have a life that turns you on if you are going to get the girl that turns you on. Do things that are fun, and that involve other people. If you go to bars, learn pool, darts, and other bar games so you can play those games with girls. Play volleyball. Get involved in your life in activities that are fun and that put you around other people.
When a major league babe sees you enjoying your life and having fun, she'll become interested. You'll be the kind of guy she is interested in. Then you can make your move.
3. Upgrade your standards.
An important part of going for the women you want is refusing to go for the women you don't want. This means that, from now on, you only bang girls you are attracted to. End of story. If you want to move to the major leagues, you've got to stop playing in the minors.
This doesn't mean you only date supermodels, but it does mean you only date women who turn you on. If you've felt stuck with dating women who were overweight, or unattractive, stop doing it.
Remember what Louise said in the movie Thelma and Louise: "You get what you settle for." (This is probably the world's only seduction article that quotes that lame-ass film.)
If you take care of your look, have fun in your life, and only go for women you desire, you will end up dating women out of your league. Enjoy it, and think of Ron Louis and David Copeland when you are having the best sex of your life!
Best of luck!
Read more!
You probably decided what league you were in during high school. If you got a hot girl (by sheer chance, mostly), then you decided you were in the "hot chick" league, and that is what you went for, what you expected, and what you got from then on.
If you didn't get a hot girl in high school (and most of us didn't), then you decided that you were a minor-league player when it came to women. From then on you went for less-attractive women, you expected less-attractive women, and you got less-attractive women.
If you are going to get major-league girls, you need to understand this: the decision you made in high school about what league of woman you were in is totally out of date now. Take a look at your life. Are you the same guy you were when you were a pimply-faced teenager? Of course not. So why should you be stuck with the same league of women that you were then? It's time to move up.
Here's what to do:
1. Upgrade your looks.
Most guys who date women who they aren't attracted to decided on their "look" at about the same time they decided they could never have a major-league babe. They set their style in stone, and haven't upgraded their "look" since then.
Consequently, their haircuts and clothes are hopelessly out-of-date. And that matters to women. Hot women simply will not bed down with a guy whose looks are way out of date. You've gotta upgrade.
This doesn't have to be hard, or even that expensive. Get a new hairstyle, and get your hair cut by a real pro. Go into clothing stores and tell the clerks that you are looking for a new look. Take their advice, and get some new outfits. Buy a good cologne (i.e., an expensive one, like "Cool Water" or "Armani"), and wear it.
Above all else, don't be afraid to try something new in how you look. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it'll get you on the hot women's radar screen for the first time. More importantly, you'll feel different. You'll feel more confident, and that will help get you get the girls you desire.
2. Upgrade your behavior.
Of course, new clothes and a new haircut aren't enough to get a hot babe in the sack. You must change your behavior, too.
A hot woman is attracted to a guy who is able to have fun, and who seems to enjoy his life. She is turned off by a guy who seems like he is looking for a woman to make his life worth living.
Consequently, you've got to have a life that turns you on if you are going to get the girl that turns you on. Do things that are fun, and that involve other people. If you go to bars, learn pool, darts, and other bar games so you can play those games with girls. Play volleyball. Get involved in your life in activities that are fun and that put you around other people.
When a major league babe sees you enjoying your life and having fun, she'll become interested. You'll be the kind of guy she is interested in. Then you can make your move.
3. Upgrade your standards.
An important part of going for the women you want is refusing to go for the women you don't want. This means that, from now on, you only bang girls you are attracted to. End of story. If you want to move to the major leagues, you've got to stop playing in the minors.
This doesn't mean you only date supermodels, but it does mean you only date women who turn you on. If you've felt stuck with dating women who were overweight, or unattractive, stop doing it.
Remember what Louise said in the movie Thelma and Louise: "You get what you settle for." (This is probably the world's only seduction article that quotes that lame-ass film.)
If you take care of your look, have fun in your life, and only go for women you desire, you will end up dating women out of your league. Enjoy it, and think of Ron Louis and David Copeland when you are having the best sex of your life!
Best of luck!
Read more!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Drama Queens
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by Poosy Marauder
I was getting a haircut the other night and I overheard some woman telling another... "You know I need to have a little drama in my life."
A lot of women fall into this category. I guess it comes from a life of watching soap operas and Oprah.
These women need to FEEL something... ANYTHING... even if it is a negative, otherwise they grow bored and move on to the next guy.
This is why it sometimes pays to mix things up a little. One day be sweet and romantic, and the next day be cold and distant.
Guaranteed she'll spend HOURS on the phone dissecting and analyzing every nuance of your behavior with her girlfriends. They are intrigued by the changes in your behavior.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, most women are emotional masochists. They love a little relationship drama to spice up their lives and have some challenge to overcome.
Read more!
I was getting a haircut the other night and I overheard some woman telling another... "You know I need to have a little drama in my life."
A lot of women fall into this category. I guess it comes from a life of watching soap operas and Oprah.
These women need to FEEL something... ANYTHING... even if it is a negative, otherwise they grow bored and move on to the next guy.
This is why it sometimes pays to mix things up a little. One day be sweet and romantic, and the next day be cold and distant.
Guaranteed she'll spend HOURS on the phone dissecting and analyzing every nuance of your behavior with her girlfriends. They are intrigued by the changes in your behavior.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, most women are emotional masochists. They love a little relationship drama to spice up their lives and have some challenge to overcome.
Read more!
Exude Competence
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by Smooth Vejita
I just realized this great tip the other day when one of my female friends was asked what she saw in me. Her response was, "He's strong and someone I can go to for advice or protection."
To really put off that aura, refrain from saying things that subtly exude incompetence, like saying:
* I don't know.
* I'm not sure.
* I think.
* I guess.
* I have no idea.
* No clue.
Or incompetent body language such as:
* stuttering.
* taking a long time to respond to questions.
* lacking decisiveness.
* stalling when faced with a decision.
* looking in other places instead of where your focus should be.
Read more!
I just realized this great tip the other day when one of my female friends was asked what she saw in me. Her response was, "He's strong and someone I can go to for advice or protection."
To really put off that aura, refrain from saying things that subtly exude incompetence, like saying:
* I don't know.
* I'm not sure.
* I think.
* I guess.
* I have no idea.
* No clue.
Or incompetent body language such as:
* stuttering.
* taking a long time to respond to questions.
* lacking decisiveness.
* stalling when faced with a decision.
* looking in other places instead of where your focus should be.
Read more!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Why You Shouldn't Wait for Signs of Interest
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by Squirrels
There are many, many women out there who won't give you any encouragement, even if they want you.
So if you wait around for HER to give you a sign of interest, you may miss a lot of opportunities.
Most girls won't open kino, for example. You have to go ahead and touch them first... really start to warm them up before they counter with their own touching. If you get that early-on, consider yourself lucky and take full advantage.
Unless a girl is REALLY taken with you, she probably won't put forth any effort to further the relationship. She'll make opportunities but YOU have to capitalize on them.
This is a natural TEST. Women offer openings, but unless they are extremely attracted they do not actively pursue. This is the female nature -- receptiveness.
The chump who has no self-confidence will sit and wait for a sign of interest and, not receiving any, will hem and haw and wait aimlessly until his self-doubt overcomes him and he walks away.
Or she'll glance over at him, but she won't smile and instead just looks the other way. He'll read that as disinterest and go mope in the corner.
Or he'll be on a date with a girl and put his arm around her but she won't react at all... she won't snuggle closer, won't look at him, acts like it didn't even happen. And he'll assume she's not interested in him physically and back off.
But the truth is he NEVER GOT REJECTED. He rejected HIMSELF because he took her lack of reaction as disinterest.
This is what Gunwitch and others mean when they say, "Make the ho say no."
Remember... girls can't give go-ahead signs to just any guy, because if they did, they'd have EVERY guy out there wanting to bang them. And often they feel uncomfortable giving those signs even to the guys they WANT, because even THAT can be seen as "slutty", and they don't want to appear too interested all at once.
You ever been at a party or in a nightclub/bar and seen a guy just walk right up to a girl you were trying to work up the nerve to talk to... and start talking to her, putting his arm around her, etc, and she seemed to be unfazed by it... and chuckled to yourself about how the guy was an ass and was just being obnoxious and couldn't get any?
Then later that night you find her warming up to him, seeking HIM out, smiling, giving out her number, etc... and you wondered how she could POSSIBLY be taken in by his lame "routine"?
She was into him from the BEGINNING. During the proverbial "7 seconds", she had already decided that this guy made the first cut. From then on it was simply a test of his persistence, to see if he felt confident that he was the real deal or if he would be overtaken by his insecurities in response to her indifference and take off.
Too many guys make that first cut, but the hot girl he's talking to offers little in the way of encouragement. This is the "mirror-test". With no positive feedback, a man receives no indication of his self-worth from the woman, so he has to derive it for himself.
If he looks at himself and sees one who isn't worthy of the woman in front of him, then he will reject himself. He will wait for a sign of interest or encouragement and, receiving none, he will give up on a woman that he could have easily seduced. If he truly BELIEVES that he has what it takes to seduce the girl, he will persist until outright rejected.
This is what's "hard" about approaching, about revealing interest, and about escalating. This is what most guys have so much trouble with... taking control of their OWN lives when encouragement is not offered to them.
Do NOT ask, "Is she interested in me?" Find out.
Do NOT wait for a sign of interest. Assume she is interested.
Do NOT wait for the right moment. MAKE it.
If a lack of encouragement forces you to quit at something as simple as picking up a girl... what is she supposed to think you're going to do when REAL problems come up, when you go through the hardship of raising kids and providing for their well-being?
Act like you've got a pair. Don't rely on other people to create your self-esteem for you.
Read more!
There are many, many women out there who won't give you any encouragement, even if they want you.
So if you wait around for HER to give you a sign of interest, you may miss a lot of opportunities.
Most girls won't open kino, for example. You have to go ahead and touch them first... really start to warm them up before they counter with their own touching. If you get that early-on, consider yourself lucky and take full advantage.
Unless a girl is REALLY taken with you, she probably won't put forth any effort to further the relationship. She'll make opportunities but YOU have to capitalize on them.
This is a natural TEST. Women offer openings, but unless they are extremely attracted they do not actively pursue. This is the female nature -- receptiveness.
The chump who has no self-confidence will sit and wait for a sign of interest and, not receiving any, will hem and haw and wait aimlessly until his self-doubt overcomes him and he walks away.
Or she'll glance over at him, but she won't smile and instead just looks the other way. He'll read that as disinterest and go mope in the corner.
Or he'll be on a date with a girl and put his arm around her but she won't react at all... she won't snuggle closer, won't look at him, acts like it didn't even happen. And he'll assume she's not interested in him physically and back off.
But the truth is he NEVER GOT REJECTED. He rejected HIMSELF because he took her lack of reaction as disinterest.
This is what Gunwitch and others mean when they say, "Make the ho say no."
Remember... girls can't give go-ahead signs to just any guy, because if they did, they'd have EVERY guy out there wanting to bang them. And often they feel uncomfortable giving those signs even to the guys they WANT, because even THAT can be seen as "slutty", and they don't want to appear too interested all at once.
You ever been at a party or in a nightclub/bar and seen a guy just walk right up to a girl you were trying to work up the nerve to talk to... and start talking to her, putting his arm around her, etc, and she seemed to be unfazed by it... and chuckled to yourself about how the guy was an ass and was just being obnoxious and couldn't get any?
Then later that night you find her warming up to him, seeking HIM out, smiling, giving out her number, etc... and you wondered how she could POSSIBLY be taken in by his lame "routine"?
She was into him from the BEGINNING. During the proverbial "7 seconds", she had already decided that this guy made the first cut. From then on it was simply a test of his persistence, to see if he felt confident that he was the real deal or if he would be overtaken by his insecurities in response to her indifference and take off.
Too many guys make that first cut, but the hot girl he's talking to offers little in the way of encouragement. This is the "mirror-test". With no positive feedback, a man receives no indication of his self-worth from the woman, so he has to derive it for himself.
If he looks at himself and sees one who isn't worthy of the woman in front of him, then he will reject himself. He will wait for a sign of interest or encouragement and, receiving none, he will give up on a woman that he could have easily seduced. If he truly BELIEVES that he has what it takes to seduce the girl, he will persist until outright rejected.
This is what's "hard" about approaching, about revealing interest, and about escalating. This is what most guys have so much trouble with... taking control of their OWN lives when encouragement is not offered to them.
Do NOT ask, "Is she interested in me?" Find out.
Do NOT wait for a sign of interest. Assume she is interested.
Do NOT wait for the right moment. MAKE it.
If a lack of encouragement forces you to quit at something as simple as picking up a girl... what is she supposed to think you're going to do when REAL problems come up, when you go through the hardship of raising kids and providing for their well-being?
Act like you've got a pair. Don't rely on other people to create your self-esteem for you.
Read more!
How to Turn Her On
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by Disciple
There is a technique I've been using for years to get girls really turned on and wanting some of me. It is simple, easy, and fun too.
All you have to do is talk about sex with them. It's that simple!
Girls like sex just as much as we do and nowadays many of them are very open about discussing their sexuality.
Let's say you got some girl that you already know and you want to move things up to the next level. You've gotten some positive signals from her in the past, so you think she might be interested. Start out with a casual conversation about something funny or interesting. This will put her in a relaxed, pleasurable state of mind which is exactly what you want if you are trying to seed her mind with the idea of you two hitting the sheets.
Then say something that moves the topic on to sex. (Don't talk about disease or pregnancy or anything like that.) Be creative.
For example, say something like you were reading a magazine and they took a poll to see which sexual positions were their readers' favorites. Then make up some statistics from the poll and ask her when she has sex which positions does she like the best. Then you tell her what you like the best. Most likely, you'll find at least something you both like to do or have done.
If she likes one position, tell her you love it too. If she has any interest in having sex with you, she will respond to this conversation with positive signs like smiling, laughing, or she might change her body language or give more eye contact, or even start touching you. The more she is willing to talk about this and show that she enjoys this, the better the chances that you two are going to be having sex soon.
If she is responding favorably, then you can get bolder and say, "Let me ask you a hypothetical question. If you and I had sex, do you think it would be good?"
This is a great question because you're not directly asking her to sleep with you; you're only giving her a possible scenario for her imagination. If she says yes right away, you're in like Flynn. If she says maybe with a smile and seems positive, don't take that as a no.
However, if she seems offended, uncomfortable, angry, or negative in any way, just tell her you were only joking. This also means that you should leave this chick alone, period!
If you get a yes or a positive sounding maybe, all you have to do is tell her that if she thinks it might be good, why not find out? Tell her that after all, what does she have to lose? Tell her that she should try it with you once and if she doesn't like it, you'll never ask her to do it again (HaHaHaHaHa!).
Say this with a smile and look directly in her eyes. You'll be surprised how chicks respond to crap like that. You're showing her confidence, a little jerkiness, and that you're a person who is unafraid to show his sexuality to her in a direct way while still being respectful.
(A lot of nice guys are afraid to say stuff this and they wind up coming off as neutral or asexual. Which is not good at all.)
It's like you're using logic to convince her that it would not only be enjoyable for her to do this, but that it is the right thing to do. Try it out and let me know what happens.
Read more!
There is a technique I've been using for years to get girls really turned on and wanting some of me. It is simple, easy, and fun too.
All you have to do is talk about sex with them. It's that simple!
Girls like sex just as much as we do and nowadays many of them are very open about discussing their sexuality.
Let's say you got some girl that you already know and you want to move things up to the next level. You've gotten some positive signals from her in the past, so you think she might be interested. Start out with a casual conversation about something funny or interesting. This will put her in a relaxed, pleasurable state of mind which is exactly what you want if you are trying to seed her mind with the idea of you two hitting the sheets.
Then say something that moves the topic on to sex. (Don't talk about disease or pregnancy or anything like that.) Be creative.
For example, say something like you were reading a magazine and they took a poll to see which sexual positions were their readers' favorites. Then make up some statistics from the poll and ask her when she has sex which positions does she like the best. Then you tell her what you like the best. Most likely, you'll find at least something you both like to do or have done.
If she likes one position, tell her you love it too. If she has any interest in having sex with you, she will respond to this conversation with positive signs like smiling, laughing, or she might change her body language or give more eye contact, or even start touching you. The more she is willing to talk about this and show that she enjoys this, the better the chances that you two are going to be having sex soon.
If she is responding favorably, then you can get bolder and say, "Let me ask you a hypothetical question. If you and I had sex, do you think it would be good?"
This is a great question because you're not directly asking her to sleep with you; you're only giving her a possible scenario for her imagination. If she says yes right away, you're in like Flynn. If she says maybe with a smile and seems positive, don't take that as a no.
However, if she seems offended, uncomfortable, angry, or negative in any way, just tell her you were only joking. This also means that you should leave this chick alone, period!
If you get a yes or a positive sounding maybe, all you have to do is tell her that if she thinks it might be good, why not find out? Tell her that after all, what does she have to lose? Tell her that she should try it with you once and if she doesn't like it, you'll never ask her to do it again (HaHaHaHaHa!).
Say this with a smile and look directly in her eyes. You'll be surprised how chicks respond to crap like that. You're showing her confidence, a little jerkiness, and that you're a person who is unafraid to show his sexuality to her in a direct way while still being respectful.
(A lot of nice guys are afraid to say stuff this and they wind up coming off as neutral or asexual. Which is not good at all.)
It's like you're using logic to convince her that it would not only be enjoyable for her to do this, but that it is the right thing to do. Try it out and let me know what happens.
Read more!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It's Not About Winning or Losing
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by Nine Breaker
Guys seem to think that approaching women is all about winning or losing.
Either you will get the girl interested in you and get a date/girlfriend/sex (win) or you will be rejected and embarrassed (lose).
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Winning and losing don't even factor into it.
It is all about one thing -- EXPERIENCE.
At the start, most potential Don Juans will be rejected at one stage or another. This is not to be seen as losing. What this experience is doing is teaching you the error of your ways, the mistakes you've made, and how to IMPROVE your methods. No amount of reading from this site (as great as it is) can prepare you for the reality of real life.
It all sounds simple enough in print... but in person it can be a whole new game. You have to learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of others, if you hope to shed your wimpy ways and improve your abilities to that of a truly great Don Juan.
Eventually, a potential Don Juan will see how things really work, and begin to start winning with women. This isn't really an accurate way of seeing it either, although winning women over is always something fun to boast about to your mates. It, again, is a form of experience.
Even if you "win", the game is far from over. You still have to hold onto this woman and keep her interested in you. If you're one of those guys who is only after a sex buddy or two, you still have to work hard to learn ways to enjoy it better (for you and her), and keep her coming back for more.
So when you're on the approach next time, keep in mind that regardless of what happens, you will not win or lose. You will gain experience which will help you hone your skills, and this experience will be invaluable to you in the future.
Read more!
Guys seem to think that approaching women is all about winning or losing.
Either you will get the girl interested in you and get a date/girlfriend/sex (win) or you will be rejected and embarrassed (lose).
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Winning and losing don't even factor into it.
It is all about one thing -- EXPERIENCE.
At the start, most potential Don Juans will be rejected at one stage or another. This is not to be seen as losing. What this experience is doing is teaching you the error of your ways, the mistakes you've made, and how to IMPROVE your methods. No amount of reading from this site (as great as it is) can prepare you for the reality of real life.
It all sounds simple enough in print... but in person it can be a whole new game. You have to learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of others, if you hope to shed your wimpy ways and improve your abilities to that of a truly great Don Juan.
Eventually, a potential Don Juan will see how things really work, and begin to start winning with women. This isn't really an accurate way of seeing it either, although winning women over is always something fun to boast about to your mates. It, again, is a form of experience.
Even if you "win", the game is far from over. You still have to hold onto this woman and keep her interested in you. If you're one of those guys who is only after a sex buddy or two, you still have to work hard to learn ways to enjoy it better (for you and her), and keep her coming back for more.
So when you're on the approach next time, keep in mind that regardless of what happens, you will not win or lose. You will gain experience which will help you hone your skills, and this experience will be invaluable to you in the future.
Read more!
Is She Using You?
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Since I'm a guy's guy, I always TAKE CHARGE, and pay for everything. The problem is, once you establish this pattern, it's really hard to get out of it.
I can afford to go out, but I'm starting to feel some kind of Pimp Daddy.
NeverFear
I've been dating a woman for the last year and a half, and she almost never pulls out her wallet to pay for anything. I used to drop subtle and not-so-subtle hints, but for the most part the only reaction I would receive was, "You're making me feel guilty."
Well, guess what, you're right. That was exactly what I was trying to do.
Fast forward to today. My girlfriend still isn't paying. But because dropping hints didn't work, I no longer take her to nice restaurants (not even on Valentine's Day or her birthday). We don't go on weekend trips together. Indeed, our dating life is fairly uneventful. For the most part, I cook at my apartment.
If I could do it all over again, I'd probably lay down the law at the beginning. She either picks up the tab every other time we go out, or we don't go out anymore. I'm nobody's meal ticket.
Sting
---
If a guy EVER wants a girl to pay her share, then he's got to set that up right from the beginning, otherwise it's almost impossible.
Me, personally, I almost always pay... but that's because I want to.
But I'll have the girls make up for it one way or another. Sometimes I'll have them cook a meal for me, or grab dinner and bring it over to my office if I'm working late (then they have no choice but to pay). Or I'll have them do some favor or another (type up some work, help me shop for clothes, etc.), so there's some exchange of energy.
Master of the Universe
---
You don't necessarily have to have her pay her equal share, but she should *contribute* positively in some way to the relationship. So your method is even better than actually making her pay 50% because when you get people to do things for you, they usually end up liking your more. It's some sort of psychology principle whose name escapes me at the moment.
If you make enough cash and feel good paying for them then there is nothing wrong with that at all as long as you know why you are doing it (i.e. because you want to and know that she will reciprocate in other positive ways; not because she is a user who wants a free ride).
I think the problem arises when the guy feels like he is simply a chump paying and not getting *anything* in return (sex does not count). I have been there in a long-term relationship and it feels like crap.
In this case, the easy cop out is to tell her, "You know honey, you should pay more, this gets expensive for me." From there, it will lead to problems because she won't respect you and you won't even feel like she is sincere when she does pay.
The ideal situation in my opinion is for this stuff to happen naturally. For instance, the check comes and you'll pay but she'll have tried to pay. Then another day, you'll stop by after work and she'll have cooked you a great meal and serve you some great wine. She'll buy you little things and you'll do the same, etc. All natural.
Doc Love (doclove.com) offers the following test to see if your woman is using you for money: When the check comes, you simply leave it on the table and keep talking. She should make a move to pay it if you just ignore the check. If she does not and says instead, "Oh honey, let's hurry up and go" or something along those lines, then you know that she is using you for money.
I have tried this and the check just stayed there for a very long time. The girl finally said, "Come on, pay the bill, we should get going." It was an eye opener. (She had actually told me the night before, "Next time we eat out, I'll treat you.")
So then I knew that this girl is using me and that I should watch out. I ended up telling her, "Didn't you say you were paying?" And she said, "Oh, do you want me to pay? I forgot that I said I was paying." I'm not kidding here, dude. She said that. So I said, "Forget it" and paid.
Like I said before, if she does it because you told her, then it means nothing. I want them to pay or contribute because they want to and not because I tell them they should.
So if you feel like you've got to take turns paying for dates then that is a problem in the long term. And if she simply does not want to contribute positively either with money or energy then she's not valuing the relationship as much as she should.
Cesare Cardinali
Read more!
I can afford to go out, but I'm starting to feel some kind of Pimp Daddy.
NeverFear
I've been dating a woman for the last year and a half, and she almost never pulls out her wallet to pay for anything. I used to drop subtle and not-so-subtle hints, but for the most part the only reaction I would receive was, "You're making me feel guilty."
Well, guess what, you're right. That was exactly what I was trying to do.
Fast forward to today. My girlfriend still isn't paying. But because dropping hints didn't work, I no longer take her to nice restaurants (not even on Valentine's Day or her birthday). We don't go on weekend trips together. Indeed, our dating life is fairly uneventful. For the most part, I cook at my apartment.
If I could do it all over again, I'd probably lay down the law at the beginning. She either picks up the tab every other time we go out, or we don't go out anymore. I'm nobody's meal ticket.
Sting
---
If a guy EVER wants a girl to pay her share, then he's got to set that up right from the beginning, otherwise it's almost impossible.
Me, personally, I almost always pay... but that's because I want to.
But I'll have the girls make up for it one way or another. Sometimes I'll have them cook a meal for me, or grab dinner and bring it over to my office if I'm working late (then they have no choice but to pay). Or I'll have them do some favor or another (type up some work, help me shop for clothes, etc.), so there's some exchange of energy.
Master of the Universe
---
You don't necessarily have to have her pay her equal share, but she should *contribute* positively in some way to the relationship. So your method is even better than actually making her pay 50% because when you get people to do things for you, they usually end up liking your more. It's some sort of psychology principle whose name escapes me at the moment.
If you make enough cash and feel good paying for them then there is nothing wrong with that at all as long as you know why you are doing it (i.e. because you want to and know that she will reciprocate in other positive ways; not because she is a user who wants a free ride).
I think the problem arises when the guy feels like he is simply a chump paying and not getting *anything* in return (sex does not count). I have been there in a long-term relationship and it feels like crap.
In this case, the easy cop out is to tell her, "You know honey, you should pay more, this gets expensive for me." From there, it will lead to problems because she won't respect you and you won't even feel like she is sincere when she does pay.
The ideal situation in my opinion is for this stuff to happen naturally. For instance, the check comes and you'll pay but she'll have tried to pay. Then another day, you'll stop by after work and she'll have cooked you a great meal and serve you some great wine. She'll buy you little things and you'll do the same, etc. All natural.
Doc Love (doclove.com) offers the following test to see if your woman is using you for money: When the check comes, you simply leave it on the table and keep talking. She should make a move to pay it if you just ignore the check. If she does not and says instead, "Oh honey, let's hurry up and go" or something along those lines, then you know that she is using you for money.
I have tried this and the check just stayed there for a very long time. The girl finally said, "Come on, pay the bill, we should get going." It was an eye opener. (She had actually told me the night before, "Next time we eat out, I'll treat you.")
So then I knew that this girl is using me and that I should watch out. I ended up telling her, "Didn't you say you were paying?" And she said, "Oh, do you want me to pay? I forgot that I said I was paying." I'm not kidding here, dude. She said that. So I said, "Forget it" and paid.
Like I said before, if she does it because you told her, then it means nothing. I want them to pay or contribute because they want to and not because I tell them they should.
So if you feel like you've got to take turns paying for dates then that is a problem in the long term. And if she simply does not want to contribute positively either with money or energy then she's not valuing the relationship as much as she should.
Cesare Cardinali
Read more!
The Two Biggest Don Juans I Know
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by Donjuanpablo
There are only two people I know that are what you would call "Natural DJs" -- both of whom are good friends. One of them is Andy, the other Liam and both of them are in there early 20s. I know one of them through uni, the other is a neighbor.
I would like to share with you some of my observations of these guys because I believe that some of their qualities are exceptional, especially when it comes to handling women and life.
Many of the qualities that I have described have been well documented in the past on this website, but I thought it would be good to present to you their most obvious character traits.
- They both have an aura about them when they speak to you. At times you think that you are the only person in the world when having a conversation because they speak with so much enthusiasm and interest.
- They listen to what you say enthusiastically and remember certain details.
- They never have a bad word to say about anybody and have a great understanding of others.
- On the other hand, you're not exactly sure where you sit with them at times. Though very friendly and energetic, you sometimes have to face their cold shoulder which may cause you to try and regain their attention.
- They're very popular people. These guys know a lot of people from many groups. When out they can have a conversation with anyone and are always introducing themselves to others. They do, however, have close friends who they stick with most of the time, but love inviting others to join in their conversations.
- They're unpredictable when they speak to you. You know how some people when they talk to you, you know exactly what they're gonna say? With these guys, they could come up and talk to you about politics or tell you a funny story about fishing. Each conversation is entertaining.
- They always have a story up their sleeves. They always have a good story to say about a certain subject and even though it may not have a punch line or be that funny, they present it with such enthusiasm that it is entertaining nonetheless.
- They are not afraid to be different in the clothes that they wear or their style of hair. Again they are unpredictable in this department and love doing something different to attract attention. They usually have just a subtle difference in style that makes them stand out.
- They walk in a very positive manner with their heads held high and with a purpose.
- They are not caught up in the boundaries of society. In fact, they act as if they are unaware of society's rules and stereotypes. They talk to anyone and react to situations how they see it. For example, when they see a beautiful girl they don't think "oh this isn't the right environment", but rather they don't think. It never crosses their mind. They just go talk to her.
- They aren't afraid of women. They treat all women the same, whether it be a 4 or a 10 and know that that they can have every one of them. They talk to women about all sorts of topics as well and are never concerned about what the women will think.
- They are not necessarily good looking. One of these guys is quite ugly, in fact, but his positive vibe and good fashion sense make him quite accessible to any women.
- They love life and they love women and they love talking about women. They don't have anything against women at all, and have many female friends.
- When they talk, they talk loud. They don't care if they offend anyone when they speak and people notice this and are drawn to them.
- Finally, they are always happy and have a passion for life. Even when bad stuff happens they have a way of keeping things positive and always give off a good vibe.
Cheers!
Read more!
There are only two people I know that are what you would call "Natural DJs" -- both of whom are good friends. One of them is Andy, the other Liam and both of them are in there early 20s. I know one of them through uni, the other is a neighbor.
I would like to share with you some of my observations of these guys because I believe that some of their qualities are exceptional, especially when it comes to handling women and life.
Many of the qualities that I have described have been well documented in the past on this website, but I thought it would be good to present to you their most obvious character traits.
- They both have an aura about them when they speak to you. At times you think that you are the only person in the world when having a conversation because they speak with so much enthusiasm and interest.
- They listen to what you say enthusiastically and remember certain details.
- They never have a bad word to say about anybody and have a great understanding of others.
- On the other hand, you're not exactly sure where you sit with them at times. Though very friendly and energetic, you sometimes have to face their cold shoulder which may cause you to try and regain their attention.
- They're very popular people. These guys know a lot of people from many groups. When out they can have a conversation with anyone and are always introducing themselves to others. They do, however, have close friends who they stick with most of the time, but love inviting others to join in their conversations.
- They're unpredictable when they speak to you. You know how some people when they talk to you, you know exactly what they're gonna say? With these guys, they could come up and talk to you about politics or tell you a funny story about fishing. Each conversation is entertaining.
- They always have a story up their sleeves. They always have a good story to say about a certain subject and even though it may not have a punch line or be that funny, they present it with such enthusiasm that it is entertaining nonetheless.
- They are not afraid to be different in the clothes that they wear or their style of hair. Again they are unpredictable in this department and love doing something different to attract attention. They usually have just a subtle difference in style that makes them stand out.
- They walk in a very positive manner with their heads held high and with a purpose.
- They are not caught up in the boundaries of society. In fact, they act as if they are unaware of society's rules and stereotypes. They talk to anyone and react to situations how they see it. For example, when they see a beautiful girl they don't think "oh this isn't the right environment", but rather they don't think. It never crosses their mind. They just go talk to her.
- They aren't afraid of women. They treat all women the same, whether it be a 4 or a 10 and know that that they can have every one of them. They talk to women about all sorts of topics as well and are never concerned about what the women will think.
- They are not necessarily good looking. One of these guys is quite ugly, in fact, but his positive vibe and good fashion sense make him quite accessible to any women.
- They love life and they love women and they love talking about women. They don't have anything against women at all, and have many female friends.
- When they talk, they talk loud. They don't care if they offend anyone when they speak and people notice this and are drawn to them.
- Finally, they are always happy and have a passion for life. Even when bad stuff happens they have a way of keeping things positive and always give off a good vibe.
Cheers!
Read more!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
So Obvious to Me... NOW
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by Charles Foster
I'm not very good with women myself (yet), but I've found something out recently.
It seems so obvious to me now, but why do so many men not realize it?
"Even if you don't smoke, carry a lighter with you."
I've lost a few girls to other guys now simply because I didn't have a lighter.
I remember once a girl was eyeing me up all of one evening and vice-versa. I, at that stage, had so little confidence I couldn't go over and talk to her. She came over to me and said "Excuse me, do you have a light?" I replied "No sorry, don't smoke."
She then walked off looking for a light.
She probably had about as much confidence with the opposite sex as me.
Another even better example (even worse for me) was very recently when I was talking to a very attractive girl who I'd never met before. We were sitting down 1 to 1 and there was no possibility of anyone getting me away from her or her from me.
We were getting on smoothly and I couldn't believe my luck.
She asked me if I had a light and I said "No, sorry".
I remembered the time before with the other girl so I tried to quickly make a joke so that she must return.
"Ohhh, I used to smoke. Not anymore. A moment on the lips - years on the hips."
She laughed but then went 2 meters away from me to get a light. And just in that short amount of time and that short distance she was pounced upon by other men.
She never got back to me, she didn't have a chance, she only smiled over at me.
So, carry a lighter with you even if you don't smoke!
Thinking about it, lighters could be useful in other ways too.
# Those annoying threads coming out of your shirt or trouser etc, you could burn them off.
# See documented material in the dark.
# Make your farts that little more special.
Read more!
I'm not very good with women myself (yet), but I've found something out recently.
It seems so obvious to me now, but why do so many men not realize it?
"Even if you don't smoke, carry a lighter with you."
I've lost a few girls to other guys now simply because I didn't have a lighter.
I remember once a girl was eyeing me up all of one evening and vice-versa. I, at that stage, had so little confidence I couldn't go over and talk to her. She came over to me and said "Excuse me, do you have a light?" I replied "No sorry, don't smoke."
She then walked off looking for a light.
She probably had about as much confidence with the opposite sex as me.
Another even better example (even worse for me) was very recently when I was talking to a very attractive girl who I'd never met before. We were sitting down 1 to 1 and there was no possibility of anyone getting me away from her or her from me.
We were getting on smoothly and I couldn't believe my luck.
She asked me if I had a light and I said "No, sorry".
I remembered the time before with the other girl so I tried to quickly make a joke so that she must return.
"Ohhh, I used to smoke. Not anymore. A moment on the lips - years on the hips."
She laughed but then went 2 meters away from me to get a light. And just in that short amount of time and that short distance she was pounced upon by other men.
She never got back to me, she didn't have a chance, she only smiled over at me.
So, carry a lighter with you even if you don't smoke!
Thinking about it, lighters could be useful in other ways too.
# Those annoying threads coming out of your shirt or trouser etc, you could burn them off.
# See documented material in the dark.
# Make your farts that little more special.
Read more!
Share a Kiss with Her
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by The Assassin
Just thought I would share with you one of my favorite approaches. It's very simple, guaranteed to win... AND NEVER TURNED DOWN!
Go to the store and buy 2 bags of Hershey Kisses... one chocolate and one almond and carry them with you at all times. When you see a woman that you want to approach, take one of each and walk up to her and say, "Sometimes I see a woman that is SO PRETTY, that I have to share a kiss with her."
* hold them out *
"Do you prefer chocolate or almond?"
She will laugh... and her next comment will be, "That's good... that's the best "pick-up" line I have ever heard." THEN you hit her with the REAL LINE...
"That's not a "pick-up" line... it's a
"I WANT TO MEET YOU LINE!"
You will see a glow in her eyes like never before. YOU WILL be viewed a different.... SHE WILL TELL HER FRIENDS and she will never forget that moment the rest of her life.
Romance starts with the approach. Woman LOVE a situation that is memorable. Women LOVE to talk about the 1st time they met their boyfriend and how he approached her.
Use tricks and set traps, and set up a memorable situation.
Remember... a lady killer needs 2-3 minutes to charm a women.
An Assassin does it instantly.
Read more!
Just thought I would share with you one of my favorite approaches. It's very simple, guaranteed to win... AND NEVER TURNED DOWN!
Go to the store and buy 2 bags of Hershey Kisses... one chocolate and one almond and carry them with you at all times. When you see a woman that you want to approach, take one of each and walk up to her and say, "Sometimes I see a woman that is SO PRETTY, that I have to share a kiss with her."
* hold them out *
"Do you prefer chocolate or almond?"
She will laugh... and her next comment will be, "That's good... that's the best "pick-up" line I have ever heard." THEN you hit her with the REAL LINE...
"That's not a "pick-up" line... it's a
"I WANT TO MEET YOU LINE!"
You will see a glow in her eyes like never before. YOU WILL be viewed a different.... SHE WILL TELL HER FRIENDS and she will never forget that moment the rest of her life.
Romance starts with the approach. Woman LOVE a situation that is memorable. Women LOVE to talk about the 1st time they met their boyfriend and how he approached her.
Use tricks and set traps, and set up a memorable situation.
Remember... a lady killer needs 2-3 minutes to charm a women.
An Assassin does it instantly.
Read more!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Where Are All the Real Men?
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I'm an adult, married man who stumbled upon this site. I would like to offer the young, single men out there a tip.
Have you ever heard that women want a MAN not a boy? Have you heard women complain about "Where are all the REAL men?" I bet you have. I bet you've tried to figure out how to be a man, a mature adult male of the species. Unfortunately you've probably had little to go on.
On the one hand you will see caricatured, cardboard cutout images of hyperaggressive, "macho-men" like Arnie and Stallone. You may have watched swaggering, aggressive, arrogant "I'm THE man" types and thought perhaps that is what a real man is.
On the other hand, you may have listened to some feminists complaining that men are not sensitive enough, and should be more like women, and that THAT is what a real man is.
You'll have probably been thoroughly confused.
It's not your fault. The fault is that boys and young men are no longer taught how to be men, and they are no longer shown role models who are real men.
OK, here is an excellent role model of a real man from a recent film -- Maximus from Gladiator.
Maximus is a real man, NOT because he is a good fighter, but because he is honorable, he is honest, he is in some ways humble, he is calm under pressure, he has fortitude and endurance, he is passionate but is able to control and restrain his passions, he is generous, he is friendly not surly, he has leadership qualities, he is loyal, he is decisive, he has a sense of purpose, he takes immediate action to do what is right, he is kind (and lots more), but above all he has courage.
Maximus is, in short, a man of VIRTUE in the classical Greek and Roman sense of the word. To the Greeks and Romans masculinity was not equated with might and power, but with virtue. To be a MAN was to exemplify the masculine virtues.
You probably don't know what the "masculine virtues" are. If you want to be a real man, I suggest you study, absorb, and live the lessons in these works (i.) Aristotle's "Nichomachean Ethics", (ii.) Marcus Aurelius's "Meditations", (iii.) Epicetus's "Discourses", (iv.) Cicero's "De Officus".
They are heavy going and you will need to study them carefully and think hard about what you are reading. If you find that too hard, then Tom Wolfe's novel "A Man in Full" is about the type of philosophy found in such books.
A strange thing happens to you when you start to discipline yourself to acquire the habits associated with the masculine virtues.
You start to automatically walk taller and with a more relaxed and open posture. Your project your voice naturally and easily. You enjoy being yourself and being in the world more. You smile more and more easily. You start to see that you are truly different from most of the people around you, but you will instantly recognize the men like you.
A funny thing will happen to you around attractive women. You will no longer treat them as near-celebrities, the idea that they are better than other people will start to seem ridiculous to you. In fact, you will start to feel a mild disdain toward the more arrogant women.
One of the best things about becoming a real man is that you will recognize, be attracted to, and attract real women, women with the feminine virtues. And when you meet them, you won't hesitate.
Read more!
Have you ever heard that women want a MAN not a boy? Have you heard women complain about "Where are all the REAL men?" I bet you have. I bet you've tried to figure out how to be a man, a mature adult male of the species. Unfortunately you've probably had little to go on.
On the one hand you will see caricatured, cardboard cutout images of hyperaggressive, "macho-men" like Arnie and Stallone. You may have watched swaggering, aggressive, arrogant "I'm THE man" types and thought perhaps that is what a real man is.
On the other hand, you may have listened to some feminists complaining that men are not sensitive enough, and should be more like women, and that THAT is what a real man is.
You'll have probably been thoroughly confused.
It's not your fault. The fault is that boys and young men are no longer taught how to be men, and they are no longer shown role models who are real men.
OK, here is an excellent role model of a real man from a recent film -- Maximus from Gladiator.
Maximus is a real man, NOT because he is a good fighter, but because he is honorable, he is honest, he is in some ways humble, he is calm under pressure, he has fortitude and endurance, he is passionate but is able to control and restrain his passions, he is generous, he is friendly not surly, he has leadership qualities, he is loyal, he is decisive, he has a sense of purpose, he takes immediate action to do what is right, he is kind (and lots more), but above all he has courage.
Maximus is, in short, a man of VIRTUE in the classical Greek and Roman sense of the word. To the Greeks and Romans masculinity was not equated with might and power, but with virtue. To be a MAN was to exemplify the masculine virtues.
You probably don't know what the "masculine virtues" are. If you want to be a real man, I suggest you study, absorb, and live the lessons in these works (i.) Aristotle's "Nichomachean Ethics", (ii.) Marcus Aurelius's "Meditations", (iii.) Epicetus's "Discourses", (iv.) Cicero's "De Officus".
They are heavy going and you will need to study them carefully and think hard about what you are reading. If you find that too hard, then Tom Wolfe's novel "A Man in Full" is about the type of philosophy found in such books.
A strange thing happens to you when you start to discipline yourself to acquire the habits associated with the masculine virtues.
You start to automatically walk taller and with a more relaxed and open posture. Your project your voice naturally and easily. You enjoy being yourself and being in the world more. You smile more and more easily. You start to see that you are truly different from most of the people around you, but you will instantly recognize the men like you.
A funny thing will happen to you around attractive women. You will no longer treat them as near-celebrities, the idea that they are better than other people will start to seem ridiculous to you. In fact, you will start to feel a mild disdain toward the more arrogant women.
One of the best things about becoming a real man is that you will recognize, be attracted to, and attract real women, women with the feminine virtues. And when you meet them, you won't hesitate.
Read more!
Get a Girl to Dress You
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by Craig
I recently went shopping with a female co-worker and asked her opinion on what shirts would look good on me.
She picked out a couple of brightly colored dress shirts that I would have not normally looked at in a million years. She said, "Trust me, this would look really good on you."
Since Fridays are casual, I decided to wear one of the shirts to work.
On my way into work, two women complimented me on my shirt. At work, several women stopped by my cubicle to say how nice my shirt was, or if I had a date or something. And one even playfully threatened to take my shirt and send me home topless.
The best part was after I had come back from lunch, there was an anonymous post note on my computer that said that "I looked yummy today." Hmmmm.
So guys, get a girl to dress you. It is a worthy investment.
Read more!
I recently went shopping with a female co-worker and asked her opinion on what shirts would look good on me.
She picked out a couple of brightly colored dress shirts that I would have not normally looked at in a million years. She said, "Trust me, this would look really good on you."
Since Fridays are casual, I decided to wear one of the shirts to work.
On my way into work, two women complimented me on my shirt. At work, several women stopped by my cubicle to say how nice my shirt was, or if I had a date or something. And one even playfully threatened to take my shirt and send me home topless.
The best part was after I had come back from lunch, there was an anonymous post note on my computer that said that "I looked yummy today." Hmmmm.
So guys, get a girl to dress you. It is a worthy investment.
Read more!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Make It Automatic
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by krakhed
I recently returned to these boards after a six-month hiatus. I've noticed a lot of posts from guys that are wondering if the girl likes them, and what they should do next. "Should I go for it?"
This is NOT a legitimate question for a DJer.
The answer is always YES. If you don't go for the phone number close, then you're still a rank amateur.
Make it automatic! Every time you meet a little hottie. Make nice, make your move, go for the phone number.
Every time. If you don't, then you blew it. You should ask for her number the FIRST time you meet her. Then you don't have to waste time wondering if you "should go for it."
Make it automatic. Every time. Get the phone number.
Read more!
I recently returned to these boards after a six-month hiatus. I've noticed a lot of posts from guys that are wondering if the girl likes them, and what they should do next. "Should I go for it?"
This is NOT a legitimate question for a DJer.
The answer is always YES. If you don't go for the phone number close, then you're still a rank amateur.
Make it automatic! Every time you meet a little hottie. Make nice, make your move, go for the phone number.
Every time. If you don't, then you blew it. You should ask for her number the FIRST time you meet her. Then you don't have to waste time wondering if you "should go for it."
Make it automatic. Every time. Get the phone number.
Read more!
The Team Effort
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by Jay Rhone
Many evenings you've sat there with your buddies cracking jokes on each other, but don't let that follow you into the clubs.
When new milestones are reached it's usually with a little assistance from others. Girls say pick up lines are lame, but if your buddy says good things about you it can be very beneficial.
Real sales involve word of mouth - that's how businesses get successful. Nobody really pays attention to ads that seem to have something to gain, but when a friend or family member recommends a product it becomes quite persuasive. That's why so many couples meet through friends and many people are hired through other employees.
So how can you work this at a club?
Let's bring an example into this. Woman love getting back massages, etc. So you might light-heartedly comment to one of the girls that your buddy is a "master masseuse."
Or when you see a chick standing close enough to hear, point to some other chick who's not looking and say to your buddy, "That girl over there, she wants you bad!" When the chick standing close by hears this she'll be looking at your buddy in a whole new light.
When you're out at a club with your buddies, make it a team effort, and save the wise cracks for later. Everybody will come out a winner.
Jay Rhone
jdrhone@yahoo.com
Read more!
Many evenings you've sat there with your buddies cracking jokes on each other, but don't let that follow you into the clubs.
When new milestones are reached it's usually with a little assistance from others. Girls say pick up lines are lame, but if your buddy says good things about you it can be very beneficial.
Real sales involve word of mouth - that's how businesses get successful. Nobody really pays attention to ads that seem to have something to gain, but when a friend or family member recommends a product it becomes quite persuasive. That's why so many couples meet through friends and many people are hired through other employees.
So how can you work this at a club?
Let's bring an example into this. Woman love getting back massages, etc. So you might light-heartedly comment to one of the girls that your buddy is a "master masseuse."
Or when you see a chick standing close enough to hear, point to some other chick who's not looking and say to your buddy, "That girl over there, she wants you bad!" When the chick standing close by hears this she'll be looking at your buddy in a whole new light.
When you're out at a club with your buddies, make it a team effort, and save the wise cracks for later. Everybody will come out a winner.
Jay Rhone
jdrhone@yahoo.com
Read more!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Make Her Think She Has Something To Lose
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by James Smith
I was at a bar once and I spotted a hot looking woman. I approached her to pick her up only to have her tell me she just got there and does not want to be bothered, she does not give out her number, and to try to talk to her later if she has the time.
She said she wants to be cautious about meeting people and does not allow herself to so freely open up or give out her number.
I saw her a few times during my time at the bar - each time with a different guy having a blast.
So near the end of the night I figured I have nothing to lose so I went up to her and said, "I am leaving now. I guess we never did get a chance to connect and have a totally passionate love affair."
She looked stunned. I gave her my number.
A week went by, she called and apologized for her rude behavior in the bar and for taking so long to call me. We ended up going out and having a blast together.
Although we never ended up having a relationship, because her rudeness re-emerged later, we still had a blast going out.
But I kept thinking about why this worked and if I could repeat whatever I did I could be very successful.
The answer came to me 5 months later as I was reading about the Scarcity Principle and its effectiveness in influencing behavior. The principle says that the more scarce something is, then more valuable that something seems to actually become.
What makes things even more valuable is when they are at first plentiful, but then are taken away or reduced in amounts later. People therefore seem to be more influenced by the possibility of loss rather than opportunity for gain.
So the idea is to make someone think they have something already, or the potential to have something great, and if they do not act or take advantage of what you suggest, they may lose it forever.
It is also advisable to structure your argument in terms of prevention of loss rather than opportunity for gain (i.e. "If you do not drink your milk, your teeth will fall out" rather than "Drink your milk to have stronger teeth.")
This is why my initially disinterested lady turned around and became interested and agreed to go out with me. Through my comment I indicated to her that we could have a great time and a passionate affair, and if we do not connect we may lose a great opportunity.
Fearing the loss of something that she may already have, she acted on her fear of loss -- called me, apologized, and agreed to go out with me.
So now what I do when I meet a new lady is I say...
"You and I could have a blast going out. It would be a shame if we never had the opportunity to do that." or
"It would be great if we exchanged numbers since otherwise we may lose a great opportunity to see each other again."
If she says she is busy, not interested, does not date men she meets at wherever you met her, has a boyfriend, or whatever, I say...
"You know I could be the guy with whom you can have the greatest time of your life, but by your reluctance you could forever lose this opportunity and never have a chance to find out." or
"You have no idea how great of a time we could have and how much fun we could have together with each other. It would be a shame if we lost that opportunity forever." or
"You say that you just want to be friends, but you and I could have one of the world's greatest romances. But you would never experience that and lose it forever since you only want to be just friends." or
"You say you do not want to take me up to your apartment tonight because you will feel guilty in the morning. But you and I could have one of the greatest nights making love, and you could feel great in the morning, but you will lose the opportunity to find out if we do not...."
And on and on.
Now simply describing a benefit is not as effective in that when you describe a benefit people automatically begin to think of possible drawbacks to what you suggest. They want to revert back to their average and normal perception of their reality. And by describing a benefit, you are going above their average experience.
To bring themselves back to their average they need to think of negative drawbacks. This very often prevents people from taking advantage of what you offer unless they are prime and ready right then and there, which is usually the case where their current condition has taken them below their mental average.
Most people are even keel though, and to get around this problem you can make it seem as if they already have something great, or have the chance to gain some great benefit, but stand to lose it if they do not act.
Thus making it seem that their inaction or disinterest or reluctance has them below their average. They need to act to take themselves back to their average reality.
My success rate on getting women to go out with me has increased about 40% while my ability to turn around unsure and flaking women has doubled.
Think of all the women you could lose by not trying out these methods. They could all be out there waiting for you, but you will never know by sitting around continuing to do what you are doing.
How to Be the Bad Boy that Women Love
How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend to Come Back to You
Home What's New Discussion Forum Articles Quick Tips Hall of Fame Doc Love Ron and David Feedback Women Respond Romance Tips Nice Guys & Jerks Links of Interest Submit an Article Contact
Top 10 Reasons Why Very Intelligent Men Fail with Women
Add this site to your favorites
Free Report
Watch Videos and Interviews With Top Seduction Pros
What's New!
How to Act Comfortable with Women
A Few Smooth Lines
Who Should Pay for the Date When You Take a Woman Out?
How Does Matt Dillon Handle the Waitress?
Should You Tell a Woman She's Beautiful
You Must Initiate Everything with a Woman
Don't Have a Girlfriend?
Why Not "Just Be Yourself"
Alpha Male Secrets The Lazy Man's Way
to Easy Sex and Romance
Read more!
I was at a bar once and I spotted a hot looking woman. I approached her to pick her up only to have her tell me she just got there and does not want to be bothered, she does not give out her number, and to try to talk to her later if she has the time.
She said she wants to be cautious about meeting people and does not allow herself to so freely open up or give out her number.
I saw her a few times during my time at the bar - each time with a different guy having a blast.
So near the end of the night I figured I have nothing to lose so I went up to her and said, "I am leaving now. I guess we never did get a chance to connect and have a totally passionate love affair."
She looked stunned. I gave her my number.
A week went by, she called and apologized for her rude behavior in the bar and for taking so long to call me. We ended up going out and having a blast together.
Although we never ended up having a relationship, because her rudeness re-emerged later, we still had a blast going out.
But I kept thinking about why this worked and if I could repeat whatever I did I could be very successful.
The answer came to me 5 months later as I was reading about the Scarcity Principle and its effectiveness in influencing behavior. The principle says that the more scarce something is, then more valuable that something seems to actually become.
What makes things even more valuable is when they are at first plentiful, but then are taken away or reduced in amounts later. People therefore seem to be more influenced by the possibility of loss rather than opportunity for gain.
So the idea is to make someone think they have something already, or the potential to have something great, and if they do not act or take advantage of what you suggest, they may lose it forever.
It is also advisable to structure your argument in terms of prevention of loss rather than opportunity for gain (i.e. "If you do not drink your milk, your teeth will fall out" rather than "Drink your milk to have stronger teeth.")
This is why my initially disinterested lady turned around and became interested and agreed to go out with me. Through my comment I indicated to her that we could have a great time and a passionate affair, and if we do not connect we may lose a great opportunity.
Fearing the loss of something that she may already have, she acted on her fear of loss -- called me, apologized, and agreed to go out with me.
So now what I do when I meet a new lady is I say...
"You and I could have a blast going out. It would be a shame if we never had the opportunity to do that." or
"It would be great if we exchanged numbers since otherwise we may lose a great opportunity to see each other again."
If she says she is busy, not interested, does not date men she meets at wherever you met her, has a boyfriend, or whatever, I say...
"You know I could be the guy with whom you can have the greatest time of your life, but by your reluctance you could forever lose this opportunity and never have a chance to find out." or
"You have no idea how great of a time we could have and how much fun we could have together with each other. It would be a shame if we lost that opportunity forever." or
"You say that you just want to be friends, but you and I could have one of the world's greatest romances. But you would never experience that and lose it forever since you only want to be just friends." or
"You say you do not want to take me up to your apartment tonight because you will feel guilty in the morning. But you and I could have one of the greatest nights making love, and you could feel great in the morning, but you will lose the opportunity to find out if we do not...."
And on and on.
Now simply describing a benefit is not as effective in that when you describe a benefit people automatically begin to think of possible drawbacks to what you suggest. They want to revert back to their average and normal perception of their reality. And by describing a benefit, you are going above their average experience.
To bring themselves back to their average they need to think of negative drawbacks. This very often prevents people from taking advantage of what you offer unless they are prime and ready right then and there, which is usually the case where their current condition has taken them below their mental average.
Most people are even keel though, and to get around this problem you can make it seem as if they already have something great, or have the chance to gain some great benefit, but stand to lose it if they do not act.
Thus making it seem that their inaction or disinterest or reluctance has them below their average. They need to act to take themselves back to their average reality.
My success rate on getting women to go out with me has increased about 40% while my ability to turn around unsure and flaking women has doubled.
Think of all the women you could lose by not trying out these methods. They could all be out there waiting for you, but you will never know by sitting around continuing to do what you are doing.
How to Be the Bad Boy that Women Love
How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend to Come Back to You
Home What's New Discussion Forum Articles Quick Tips Hall of Fame Doc Love Ron and David Feedback Women Respond Romance Tips Nice Guys & Jerks Links of Interest Submit an Article Contact
Top 10 Reasons Why Very Intelligent Men Fail with Women
Add this site to your favorites
Free Report
Watch Videos and Interviews With Top Seduction Pros
What's New!
How to Act Comfortable with Women
A Few Smooth Lines
Who Should Pay for the Date When You Take a Woman Out?
How Does Matt Dillon Handle the Waitress?
Should You Tell a Woman She's Beautiful
You Must Initiate Everything with a Woman
Don't Have a Girlfriend?
Why Not "Just Be Yourself"
Alpha Male Secrets The Lazy Man's Way
to Easy Sex and Romance
Read more!
Say Yes
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by Persuader
Having been in sales for quite awhile, I'm constantly coming across new techniques to close on deals. One I picked up on at a conference turned out not only useful in sales, but also in getting numbers.
After you have struck up a conversation with the woman and are at that point where you want to ask for her number, try this:
"Look I have to go now, I really enjoyed meeting you. We should pick this up again. Why don't you give me your number and I'll give you a call, ok? ... Just say yes."
You would be surprised how such a little thing as that makes such a big difference in results.
Read more!
Having been in sales for quite awhile, I'm constantly coming across new techniques to close on deals. One I picked up on at a conference turned out not only useful in sales, but also in getting numbers.
After you have struck up a conversation with the woman and are at that point where you want to ask for her number, try this:
"Look I have to go now, I really enjoyed meeting you. We should pick this up again. Why don't you give me your number and I'll give you a call, ok? ... Just say yes."
You would be surprised how such a little thing as that makes such a big difference in results.
Read more!
My Personal Resume
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by G-Man
I met a girl at work about 6 months ago and we had a couple of very nice dates. The first one, I'd say, was the best first date I'd ever been on.
I wasn't initially super-attracted to this particular woman, and she wasn't what anyone would consider to be a "10". But I enjoyed talking to her so much that an attraction grew.
This is the first time I was willing to date a "tweener". A few pounds either way would make her really hot or really not. And I was proud of myself for not being shallow. That being said, I'm no "10" myself.
After our second date, I just got a really weird vibe. I asked her if we were just out on a date, or just out as "friends". She thought we were just friends.
We all know how that word, coming from a woman, feels. Personally, I'd rather get punched in the face than hear that ever again. Needless to say, my self-esteem was wounded.
Anyway, being a good sales rep, I summed up for her, in a light-hearted kind of way, all of the reasons I thought she should give me a try. I told her, "I'm 6'4" tall, good body, nice guy, six-figure income, witty, smart, lots of cash in the bank." She didn't disagree.
But then I realized something. I've got a pretty solid personal resume. I just never said it out loud before. This chick was turning down what was probably the best offer she would ever get!
I felt better immediately.
So guys, if you get turned down by a "tweener" or a "10", forget about it. Remind yourself of your good points, and get back out there.
Not every woman has to like you. Ultimately, you only need one.
Read more!
I met a girl at work about 6 months ago and we had a couple of very nice dates. The first one, I'd say, was the best first date I'd ever been on.
I wasn't initially super-attracted to this particular woman, and she wasn't what anyone would consider to be a "10". But I enjoyed talking to her so much that an attraction grew.
This is the first time I was willing to date a "tweener". A few pounds either way would make her really hot or really not. And I was proud of myself for not being shallow. That being said, I'm no "10" myself.
After our second date, I just got a really weird vibe. I asked her if we were just out on a date, or just out as "friends". She thought we were just friends.
We all know how that word, coming from a woman, feels. Personally, I'd rather get punched in the face than hear that ever again. Needless to say, my self-esteem was wounded.
Anyway, being a good sales rep, I summed up for her, in a light-hearted kind of way, all of the reasons I thought she should give me a try. I told her, "I'm 6'4" tall, good body, nice guy, six-figure income, witty, smart, lots of cash in the bank." She didn't disagree.
But then I realized something. I've got a pretty solid personal resume. I just never said it out loud before. This chick was turning down what was probably the best offer she would ever get!
I felt better immediately.
So guys, if you get turned down by a "tweener" or a "10", forget about it. Remind yourself of your good points, and get back out there.
Not every woman has to like you. Ultimately, you only need one.
Read more!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Locus of Control
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by AspiringDonJuan
I read about a principle the other day that has been touched on here, but I don't think fully explained. It is known as Locus of Control, and basically comes down to what you see as the determining factors in life and your own influence on things.
A person who sees himself as having ultimate control over his life and everything that happens is said to have an internal locus.
On the other hand, if a person sees his life as being manipulated by factors outside of his control, he is said to have an external locus.
In general, people with an internal locus are more successful than those with an external locus. However, it goes further. It can get a bit complicated, but quite simply the locus can be different for success and failure.
For example, if Johnny picks up a woman, he might say, "I am just such a great guy." On the other hand, Billy might say, "I was lucky tonight, she must be desperate, I guess the moon was in the right phase, etc." Johnny has an internal locus when it comes to success, whereas Billy has an external one.
Now, when Johnny is unsuccessful in picking up, he might say, "Boy that woman must be having a bad day." Whereas Billy might say, "Jeez, I really stuffed things up again, I am such a loser."
This time when it comes to failure, Johnny has an external locus whereas Billy has an internal locus.
In general, people with a reasonably external locus of control (I'll get to why I say "reasonably" in a minute) in relation to failure will be more successful, because they keep up a more optimistic outlook.
Incidentally, Johnny's attitude should look familiar to the advice posted on this site, whereas Billy's might sound a little like your old pre-Don Juan days.
So what am I driving at? It should be obvious, but in case you missed the point, I'll spell it out.
You must accept that you control your own destiny and keep the internal locus when it comes to success. However, you must realize also that interactions with other people require some of their control, so when you fail, it is often not your doing -- maintain an external locus for failure.
Having said this, it is important to keep some internal focus on failure in certain cases so that you can learn from your mistakes, but not so much that you get discouraged. You have to find a balance.
myLot User Profile
Read more!
I read about a principle the other day that has been touched on here, but I don't think fully explained. It is known as Locus of Control, and basically comes down to what you see as the determining factors in life and your own influence on things.
A person who sees himself as having ultimate control over his life and everything that happens is said to have an internal locus.
On the other hand, if a person sees his life as being manipulated by factors outside of his control, he is said to have an external locus.
In general, people with an internal locus are more successful than those with an external locus. However, it goes further. It can get a bit complicated, but quite simply the locus can be different for success and failure.
For example, if Johnny picks up a woman, he might say, "I am just such a great guy." On the other hand, Billy might say, "I was lucky tonight, she must be desperate, I guess the moon was in the right phase, etc." Johnny has an internal locus when it comes to success, whereas Billy has an external one.
Now, when Johnny is unsuccessful in picking up, he might say, "Boy that woman must be having a bad day." Whereas Billy might say, "Jeez, I really stuffed things up again, I am such a loser."
This time when it comes to failure, Johnny has an external locus whereas Billy has an internal locus.
In general, people with a reasonably external locus of control (I'll get to why I say "reasonably" in a minute) in relation to failure will be more successful, because they keep up a more optimistic outlook.
Incidentally, Johnny's attitude should look familiar to the advice posted on this site, whereas Billy's might sound a little like your old pre-Don Juan days.
So what am I driving at? It should be obvious, but in case you missed the point, I'll spell it out.
You must accept that you control your own destiny and keep the internal locus when it comes to success. However, you must realize also that interactions with other people require some of their control, so when you fail, it is often not your doing -- maintain an external locus for failure.
Having said this, it is important to keep some internal focus on failure in certain cases so that you can learn from your mistakes, but not so much that you get discouraged. You have to find a balance.
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Free Dance Lessons
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I'd like to offer a follow-up tip to Jason's tip about swing dancing. Mostly, because he is on the right track, but failed to elaborate further.
Swing dancing is fun, but Latin dances are where it's at. Why are they called the dances of love? And believe me, the ladies love the heat generated by the mating ritual when played to the Latin rhythm.
Let me explain.
Since a lot of clubs understand this, they have special nights for special dances. The one I swear by is Salsa.
There are a number of clubs around here where they offer free lessons, say from 8 pm to 9 pm, with the regular dancing troupe hitting the floors after that. No partner is needed to attend these classes either. In fact, why would you bring sand to the beach anyway?
Hopefully, the male/female ratio is close to being even, but when it isn't, I have never seen more men than women. So, during the instruction hour everyone stands around watching a segment of the routine being taught that night, and after watching the ten steps or so, everyone takes a partner and practices.
The awesome part is after about a minute or two, one of the genders moves to the next opposite gender. So what you have at the end of the hour is a lot of broken ice because you have danced with every women there at least two or three times.
Who do you think the women end up dancing with the rest of the night, and the following week, and the week after that?
Get ready to beat them off with a club if you are afraid of women doing the chasing.
What works really well too is if the guy makes it look like he has two left feet, because the best ladies are the ones that are the givers.
I've had more than one help me get it right for the rest of the night...
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Swing dancing is fun, but Latin dances are where it's at. Why are they called the dances of love? And believe me, the ladies love the heat generated by the mating ritual when played to the Latin rhythm.
Let me explain.
Since a lot of clubs understand this, they have special nights for special dances. The one I swear by is Salsa.
There are a number of clubs around here where they offer free lessons, say from 8 pm to 9 pm, with the regular dancing troupe hitting the floors after that. No partner is needed to attend these classes either. In fact, why would you bring sand to the beach anyway?
Hopefully, the male/female ratio is close to being even, but when it isn't, I have never seen more men than women. So, during the instruction hour everyone stands around watching a segment of the routine being taught that night, and after watching the ten steps or so, everyone takes a partner and practices.
The awesome part is after about a minute or two, one of the genders moves to the next opposite gender. So what you have at the end of the hour is a lot of broken ice because you have danced with every women there at least two or three times.
Who do you think the women end up dancing with the rest of the night, and the following week, and the week after that?
Get ready to beat them off with a club if you are afraid of women doing the chasing.
What works really well too is if the guy makes it look like he has two left feet, because the best ladies are the ones that are the givers.
I've had more than one help me get it right for the rest of the night...
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Thursday, December 11, 2008
The $50 Approach
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by Anonymous
I thought of this one a couple of weeks ago and couldn't wait to use it. This works with one or several girls. Make sure to have at least one friend with you.
Find a girl/girls (it's easier with one than a group because it is more difficult to direct your attention to one), sit down, and say:
"Excuse me, this is going to sound strange. But I saw you from where I was sitting and my friend bet me $50 that I wouldn't come over and say hi. So, if you could just humor me for a couple of moments."
They giggled. I was in.
Then ask THEM what they are doing, what THEY like. Let them talk about them. It's key.
The very first time I did this it was with two girls and I wound up having a very fun and pleasant 20-minute conversation before I actually had to bring it to a close. They were leaving soon.
I told them to wait a few minutes and I would bring my friend over. I did, and what was really strange is one of the girls felt bad for him because he supposedly lost $50!
We met up with them later that night and had a lot of fun. Unfortunately, they were just visiting for the weekend, but still got a good night and of course a number out of it.
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I thought of this one a couple of weeks ago and couldn't wait to use it. This works with one or several girls. Make sure to have at least one friend with you.
Find a girl/girls (it's easier with one than a group because it is more difficult to direct your attention to one), sit down, and say:
"Excuse me, this is going to sound strange. But I saw you from where I was sitting and my friend bet me $50 that I wouldn't come over and say hi. So, if you could just humor me for a couple of moments."
They giggled. I was in.
Then ask THEM what they are doing, what THEY like. Let them talk about them. It's key.
The very first time I did this it was with two girls and I wound up having a very fun and pleasant 20-minute conversation before I actually had to bring it to a close. They were leaving soon.
I told them to wait a few minutes and I would bring my friend over. I did, and what was really strange is one of the girls felt bad for him because he supposedly lost $50!
We met up with them later that night and had a lot of fun. Unfortunately, they were just visiting for the weekend, but still got a good night and of course a number out of it.
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An Extra Ticket
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by MrSassyPants
You might want to consider a little trick I use.
Tell the woman that it was nice talking to her and kinda get ready to go away. Then, think for a quarter second, and tell her about something, maybe something you have an extra ticket for, and ask her if she wants to go.
I think the reason it's always worked great for me is it makes it look like you:
1) Have a lot of stuff going on in your life (making you look interesting).
2) Makes you look like you have a specific idea and action in mind (making you look like you are decisive and manly).
3) Makes her wonder who else you would take (making it look like you are in demand with other girls).
4) Makes her think she only gets to go out with you because you are going anyway (prevents you from looking desperate to go out with her).
5) Makes her wonder how much you like her (which is different than the typical position of asking her out and putting your cards on the table... putting her in the position of complete power).
It's always worked for me. The only drawback is you always have to have something in mind when you go out so you don't get caught unprepared. But it's always seemed worth it to me.
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You might want to consider a little trick I use.
Tell the woman that it was nice talking to her and kinda get ready to go away. Then, think for a quarter second, and tell her about something, maybe something you have an extra ticket for, and ask her if she wants to go.
I think the reason it's always worked great for me is it makes it look like you:
1) Have a lot of stuff going on in your life (making you look interesting).
2) Makes you look like you have a specific idea and action in mind (making you look like you are decisive and manly).
3) Makes her wonder who else you would take (making it look like you are in demand with other girls).
4) Makes her think she only gets to go out with you because you are going anyway (prevents you from looking desperate to go out with her).
5) Makes her wonder how much you like her (which is different than the typical position of asking her out and putting your cards on the table... putting her in the position of complete power).
It's always worked for me. The only drawback is you always have to have something in mind when you go out so you don't get caught unprepared. But it's always seemed worth it to me.
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Understand That Love Is Conditional
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by James
Love is conditional.
If love is unconditional, what the heck is causing all the divorces?
How I feel about the way you treat me is going to determine how I respond to you. If I feel good because of your actions towards me, then I am going to try to make you feel the same way. You are going to do the same for me. True?
If at some point I no longer feel good about the way you treat me, I may tell you or I may continue trying to make you feel good in hopes that things will change, but at some point if things have not gone back to the way they were, I am going to stop trying. And then where is the relationship?
People who believe in everlasting, unconditional love are deluding themselves with a dangerous fantasy. Why? Because they believe that if their girlfriend loves them at the start of the relationship, then her emotions will never change.
They are the ones most likely to take their significant other's feelings for granted and therefore quit doing the things that at the beginning of the relationship made them successful.
They withdraw affection, quit with the surprises and spontaneity, let the sex get boring, stop dating their wives, etc. These are the ones shocked as hell when she suddenly breaks it off... the ones oblivious to the hints along the way: spending less time together, more frequent arguing, nagging, canceling plans, missing dates, criticism, less sex, etc.
They are also more likely to not get over a girlfriend that dumped them. Why? Because they think that somewhere deep inside of her heart, she still loves him. There is still a chance. If they could just have a little time together, it would reemerge and everything would be just like it was at the beginning of their relationship.
Bull!
Once she dumps you, it is gone forever. Don't try to rekindle it. Move on.
If you are just starting a new relationship, keep doing the things that are making you successful. If you and she both respect the fact that feelings, including love, can and do change based on how one is treated, you will never become complacent.
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Love is conditional.
If love is unconditional, what the heck is causing all the divorces?
How I feel about the way you treat me is going to determine how I respond to you. If I feel good because of your actions towards me, then I am going to try to make you feel the same way. You are going to do the same for me. True?
If at some point I no longer feel good about the way you treat me, I may tell you or I may continue trying to make you feel good in hopes that things will change, but at some point if things have not gone back to the way they were, I am going to stop trying. And then where is the relationship?
People who believe in everlasting, unconditional love are deluding themselves with a dangerous fantasy. Why? Because they believe that if their girlfriend loves them at the start of the relationship, then her emotions will never change.
They are the ones most likely to take their significant other's feelings for granted and therefore quit doing the things that at the beginning of the relationship made them successful.
They withdraw affection, quit with the surprises and spontaneity, let the sex get boring, stop dating their wives, etc. These are the ones shocked as hell when she suddenly breaks it off... the ones oblivious to the hints along the way: spending less time together, more frequent arguing, nagging, canceling plans, missing dates, criticism, less sex, etc.
They are also more likely to not get over a girlfriend that dumped them. Why? Because they think that somewhere deep inside of her heart, she still loves him. There is still a chance. If they could just have a little time together, it would reemerge and everything would be just like it was at the beginning of their relationship.
Bull!
Once she dumps you, it is gone forever. Don't try to rekindle it. Move on.
If you are just starting a new relationship, keep doing the things that are making you successful. If you and she both respect the fact that feelings, including love, can and do change based on how one is treated, you will never become complacent.
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How to Dress Like a Soap Star
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by Allen Thompson
Occasionally I watch soap operas.
Not because I like them. In fact, I hate them. They're horrible, painful to watch, and total chick shows. If ever something was written and designed specifically for women, it's the soaps.
So why do I torture myself like this? Why do I watch these God-awful things?
A quest for knowledge, of course. Clothing-specific knowledge to be exact.
Keep in mind that these soaps are designed specifically for women... so the men on these shows, in addition to being good-looking, are always extremely well-dressed. Even in their casual attire, they're dressed to impress.
The colors, the styles, how it all fits together... you can never go wrong if you follow the styles displayed in the soaps.
Now, as I mentioned, they're horrible horrible horrible and painful to watch. So what's the easiest way to go about doing your research?
Personally, I like to tape the shows. Then I can watch them whenever I have a chance and make prolific use of the fast-forward button. I can go through 3 or 4 hours of soaps in about 30 minutes.
Other suggestions:
- Turn the sound off. Don't torture yourself unnecessarily.
- Take notes. You'll never remember it all.
- Find one of two characters that you can identify with or who you think always look good, and pay specific attention to what they wear.
- Note the colors and which colors seem to go together well. Also note the feelings you get when you see these colors and color combinations (what's tough, what's sexy, what's fun, what's happy, what's relaxed, etc.).
- And finally, don't get addicted to the soaps while doing your research. That's just sad!
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Occasionally I watch soap operas.
Not because I like them. In fact, I hate them. They're horrible, painful to watch, and total chick shows. If ever something was written and designed specifically for women, it's the soaps.
So why do I torture myself like this? Why do I watch these God-awful things?
A quest for knowledge, of course. Clothing-specific knowledge to be exact.
Keep in mind that these soaps are designed specifically for women... so the men on these shows, in addition to being good-looking, are always extremely well-dressed. Even in their casual attire, they're dressed to impress.
The colors, the styles, how it all fits together... you can never go wrong if you follow the styles displayed in the soaps.
Now, as I mentioned, they're horrible horrible horrible and painful to watch. So what's the easiest way to go about doing your research?
Personally, I like to tape the shows. Then I can watch them whenever I have a chance and make prolific use of the fast-forward button. I can go through 3 or 4 hours of soaps in about 30 minutes.
Other suggestions:
- Turn the sound off. Don't torture yourself unnecessarily.
- Take notes. You'll never remember it all.
- Find one of two characters that you can identify with or who you think always look good, and pay specific attention to what they wear.
- Note the colors and which colors seem to go together well. Also note the feelings you get when you see these colors and color combinations (what's tough, what's sexy, what's fun, what's happy, what's relaxed, etc.).
- And finally, don't get addicted to the soaps while doing your research. That's just sad!
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Bad But Pretty Funny
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by Satori
One thing I have learned from this site is that women don't want a consoling sap. Instead they want someone strong, and someone who will cherish them.
Well anyway for this tip you will need confidence, self assurance, etc... But above all else you will need a sense of humor.
Now picture the situation... the woman of your eye is quiet today and something is bothering her... something fairly bad, but not overly serious like a family death.
This can work especially well if you are dating or currently "with" this particular woman. You slowly but steadily side up to her and ask what's up. Then when she tells you what the problem is, don't become the consoling sap. Don't give her your pity. And don't give her a solution to her dilemma.
So what do you do?
Well you are a pretty sensitive guy right? And you do want to do something without seeming like a loser.
After listening to her problem, first say, "I'm sorry that happened to you" or "I'm sorry you feel hurt." Then remain silent for a while.
Then tell her something that happened to you that was bad, but, actually, is very funny.
Like one time this girl said to me that she had a bit of a fight with her parents. Then I told her about what had happened to me lately... with my cat urinating a trail 50 feet long while I dragged him to the vet's office. Some got on me too.
But hey, I can laugh about it and she could too. So anything you think is appropriate tell her in a cool, not overly lively way. If she laughs then that means you've made her slightly happier than she was before.
Follow these instructions and you'll be fine - but do it in a cool manner with a smile on your face. Don't make too much noise. The story is for her, to let her know that she ain't the only one who's had a bad day.
Read more!
One thing I have learned from this site is that women don't want a consoling sap. Instead they want someone strong, and someone who will cherish them.
Well anyway for this tip you will need confidence, self assurance, etc... But above all else you will need a sense of humor.
Now picture the situation... the woman of your eye is quiet today and something is bothering her... something fairly bad, but not overly serious like a family death.
This can work especially well if you are dating or currently "with" this particular woman. You slowly but steadily side up to her and ask what's up. Then when she tells you what the problem is, don't become the consoling sap. Don't give her your pity. And don't give her a solution to her dilemma.
So what do you do?
Well you are a pretty sensitive guy right? And you do want to do something without seeming like a loser.
After listening to her problem, first say, "I'm sorry that happened to you" or "I'm sorry you feel hurt." Then remain silent for a while.
Then tell her something that happened to you that was bad, but, actually, is very funny.
Like one time this girl said to me that she had a bit of a fight with her parents. Then I told her about what had happened to me lately... with my cat urinating a trail 50 feet long while I dragged him to the vet's office. Some got on me too.
But hey, I can laugh about it and she could too. So anything you think is appropriate tell her in a cool, not overly lively way. If she laughs then that means you've made her slightly happier than she was before.
Follow these instructions and you'll be fine - but do it in a cool manner with a smile on your face. Don't make too much noise. The story is for her, to let her know that she ain't the only one who's had a bad day.
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The Lessons of Top Gun
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by Manoreason
When I first began my transformation from Average Frustrated Chump to Don Juan, I used a quote from the movie "Top Gun" to help me at certain times.
Hopefully you remember the scene where Maverick, the talented fighter pilot played by Tom Cruise, was about to enter into a dogfight, but was hesitating with fear and self-doubt. Then comes a voice over his radio:
"Engage, Maverick, engage!"
He then engages and kicks ass.
Whenever I'm in proximity to a chick I'd like to talk to, and I have thought of something in the least bit creative to say to her, I hear a voice in my head say "Engage, Maverick, engage!"
And then I know that if I don't approach her and give it a shot, I'll be really disappointed with myself for the rest of the day.
I do not ignore that little voice. It is almost like someone else talking to me. Someone who's going to reprimand and ridicule me if I don't do as he says, and so I always obey.
This little mental trick could probably work for other guys as well as it worked for me in overcoming my fear of approaching women.
The second lesson from Top Gun is of much greater scope and importance.
Remember the scene near the end of the movie when the pilots have just returned to the carrier after killing a bunch of Russians, and Maverick and Iceman (Val Kilmer) approach each other? Iceman says, "Hey, Maverick, you can be my wingman any day." And Maverick replies, "Bullshit, you can be mine."
THAT is the spirit you must have when dealing with women.
When women test you to see if they can control and manipulate you, when they're trying to find out if you have a backbone and nads or not, when what they really mean by whatever it is they're saying is "Hey, boy, you can be my little puppet," you have to be a man and think "Bullshit, you can be mine!" Then act accordingly.
You're not there to pass her silly little tests. You're not there hoping desperately that she'll like you. You're not there willing to change any and all aspects of your personality in a futile effort to please her. And you're not there to ask "How high?" when she says "Jump!"
You're there to find out if she is worth YOUR time and YOUR attention. She is trying out for a position on YOUR team, not vice versa.
Decent women don't really want a man that they can control. We know that. So don't be controlled.
Always remember, you're the man and you're the pilot in charge. The women climb into your plane and allow you to dictate what sort of flight you'll have.
Now don't forget, you are a team, and she is there to make your job easier. A good wingman will sometimes have good suggestions, and her opinion is not to be dismissed out of hand. A good pilot will cooperate at times, but only on his terms and if it suits him.
So the next time some girl tries to make you her wingman, say "Bullshit, you can be mine!"
And act like you mean it!
Manoreason
manoreason@hotmail.com
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When I first began my transformation from Average Frustrated Chump to Don Juan, I used a quote from the movie "Top Gun" to help me at certain times.
Hopefully you remember the scene where Maverick, the talented fighter pilot played by Tom Cruise, was about to enter into a dogfight, but was hesitating with fear and self-doubt. Then comes a voice over his radio:
"Engage, Maverick, engage!"
He then engages and kicks ass.
Whenever I'm in proximity to a chick I'd like to talk to, and I have thought of something in the least bit creative to say to her, I hear a voice in my head say "Engage, Maverick, engage!"
And then I know that if I don't approach her and give it a shot, I'll be really disappointed with myself for the rest of the day.
I do not ignore that little voice. It is almost like someone else talking to me. Someone who's going to reprimand and ridicule me if I don't do as he says, and so I always obey.
This little mental trick could probably work for other guys as well as it worked for me in overcoming my fear of approaching women.
The second lesson from Top Gun is of much greater scope and importance.
Remember the scene near the end of the movie when the pilots have just returned to the carrier after killing a bunch of Russians, and Maverick and Iceman (Val Kilmer) approach each other? Iceman says, "Hey, Maverick, you can be my wingman any day." And Maverick replies, "Bullshit, you can be mine."
THAT is the spirit you must have when dealing with women.
When women test you to see if they can control and manipulate you, when they're trying to find out if you have a backbone and nads or not, when what they really mean by whatever it is they're saying is "Hey, boy, you can be my little puppet," you have to be a man and think "Bullshit, you can be mine!" Then act accordingly.
You're not there to pass her silly little tests. You're not there hoping desperately that she'll like you. You're not there willing to change any and all aspects of your personality in a futile effort to please her. And you're not there to ask "How high?" when she says "Jump!"
You're there to find out if she is worth YOUR time and YOUR attention. She is trying out for a position on YOUR team, not vice versa.
Decent women don't really want a man that they can control. We know that. So don't be controlled.
Always remember, you're the man and you're the pilot in charge. The women climb into your plane and allow you to dictate what sort of flight you'll have.
Now don't forget, you are a team, and she is there to make your job easier. A good wingman will sometimes have good suggestions, and her opinion is not to be dismissed out of hand. A good pilot will cooperate at times, but only on his terms and if it suits him.
So the next time some girl tries to make you her wingman, say "Bullshit, you can be mine!"
And act like you mean it!
Manoreason
manoreason@hotmail.com
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The Best Colognes
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by Allen Thompson
Now I'm not too sure exactly how much weight to give to this list. After all The Cologne Guy is a freakin' GUY! But anyhow, here they are for your perusal.
1. Acqua di Gio', by Giorgio Armani
2. Boucheron, by Parfums Boucheron
3. CKbe, by Calvin Klein
4. DKMen, by Donna Karan
5. Dolce & Gabbana, by Dolce & Gabbana
6. Escape for Men, by Calvin Klein
7. vEternity for Men, by Calvin Klein
8. Herrera for Men, by Carolina Herrera
9. HUGO, by Hugo Boss
10. Joseph Abboud, by Joseph Abboud
11. L'EAU D'ISSEY, by Issey Miyake
12. Le Male, by Jean Paul Gaultier
13. Obsession for Men, by Calvin Klein
14. Polo, by Ralph Lauren
15. Polo Sport, by Ralph Lauren
16. Safari for Men, by Ralph Lauren
17. "tommy", by Tommy Hilfiger
18. Wings for Men, by Giorgio Beverly Hills
19. Zino, by Zino Davidoff
And his favorite, and the only cologne he gives 5 stars to:
Egoiste Platinum, by Chanel.
Anyone tried Egoiste Platinum cologne? What do you think? Or more importantly, what do the women think about you when you've got it on?
And, by the way, there is some evidence that outgoing, extroverted women tend to prefer men wearing spicier colognes, while the quieter, more introverted women tend to prefer floral scented men. So maybe you should consider choosing your weapon, er cologne, based upon the personality of the woman you're pursuing. Just a thought.
Allen Thompson
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Now I'm not too sure exactly how much weight to give to this list. After all The Cologne Guy is a freakin' GUY! But anyhow, here they are for your perusal.
1. Acqua di Gio', by Giorgio Armani
2. Boucheron, by Parfums Boucheron
3. CKbe, by Calvin Klein
4. DKMen, by Donna Karan
5. Dolce & Gabbana, by Dolce & Gabbana
6. Escape for Men, by Calvin Klein
7. vEternity for Men, by Calvin Klein
8. Herrera for Men, by Carolina Herrera
9. HUGO, by Hugo Boss
10. Joseph Abboud, by Joseph Abboud
11. L'EAU D'ISSEY, by Issey Miyake
12. Le Male, by Jean Paul Gaultier
13. Obsession for Men, by Calvin Klein
14. Polo, by Ralph Lauren
15. Polo Sport, by Ralph Lauren
16. Safari for Men, by Ralph Lauren
17. "tommy", by Tommy Hilfiger
18. Wings for Men, by Giorgio Beverly Hills
19. Zino, by Zino Davidoff
And his favorite, and the only cologne he gives 5 stars to:
Egoiste Platinum, by Chanel.
Anyone tried Egoiste Platinum cologne? What do you think? Or more importantly, what do the women think about you when you've got it on?
And, by the way, there is some evidence that outgoing, extroverted women tend to prefer men wearing spicier colognes, while the quieter, more introverted women tend to prefer floral scented men. So maybe you should consider choosing your weapon, er cologne, based upon the personality of the woman you're pursuing. Just a thought.
Allen Thompson
Read more!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
best love tips, dating tips, and sex tips: I LOVE YOU IN ANOTHER LANGUAGES
span.fullpost {display:none;}Sunday, December 7, 2008
Don't Make This Mistake When Talking About Yourself On a Date
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by Purehaggle
Sometimes, when women ask to hear more about you, they want to hear things like, "As a hobby, I dirtbike the white sands of the Sahara." Or, "Helping the community makes me feel helpful."
These are good things to say. Remember, she wants to hear GOOD things about you.
DO NOT SAY: "Sorry if you don't hear me talk much, I'm boring when it comes to conversations." Or, "I hate it when I always...." Or, "I suck at...."
Even if you don't mean these things, because you say it yourself, your date may take it seriously and have a decreased confidence in your potential as a man who is fascinating and interesting.
Don't make yourself sound like a klutz. Be confident and tactful when you answer questions that your date asks. And if you think something you are going to say is stupid, say something else.
Purehaggle
Purehaggle@yahoo.com
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Sometimes, when women ask to hear more about you, they want to hear things like, "As a hobby, I dirtbike the white sands of the Sahara." Or, "Helping the community makes me feel helpful."
These are good things to say. Remember, she wants to hear GOOD things about you.
DO NOT SAY: "Sorry if you don't hear me talk much, I'm boring when it comes to conversations." Or, "I hate it when I always...." Or, "I suck at...."
Even if you don't mean these things, because you say it yourself, your date may take it seriously and have a decreased confidence in your potential as a man who is fascinating and interesting.
Don't make yourself sound like a klutz. Be confident and tactful when you answer questions that your date asks. And if you think something you are going to say is stupid, say something else.
Purehaggle
Purehaggle@yahoo.com
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Why Cheap Dates Are So Much Better
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by PracticalHappiness.com
Next time you go out on your first date, change your routine a little bit. Break your predictable dinner or drinks plans and do something different - something very simple and inexpensive. I call it a "$1.55 date" - that's what Starbucks charges for medium coffee these days.
Don't take me wrong. I am not cheap; I just know what works better - for you and her.
On your next first date - meet up at a coffee shop, have coffee, put your conversational and dating skills to the test by being positive, funny and interesting to talk to in an intimate, relaxed environment. Then, take a nice, slow walk together and see how things go.
Why is this so much better than dinner or drinks?
There are many reasons. First, you concentrate on each other and not on a plate of rice or a steak. You talk to the real person and not a woman who hides her true face behind alcohol. You don't come across as a wimp who has to pay to be with a woman. You show your dominance by controlling the situation without coming across as controlling. You find out much faster whether or not there is chemistry between two of you.
You get an extra bonus too - if she seems unhappy about such a "cheap" date - you get to see and lose the "bitch" early on without wasting too much time on her.
Save the scuba-diving and rock-climbing for later. Start simple and ... if they deserve it - move up.
Read more!
Next time you go out on your first date, change your routine a little bit. Break your predictable dinner or drinks plans and do something different - something very simple and inexpensive. I call it a "$1.55 date" - that's what Starbucks charges for medium coffee these days.
Don't take me wrong. I am not cheap; I just know what works better - for you and her.
On your next first date - meet up at a coffee shop, have coffee, put your conversational and dating skills to the test by being positive, funny and interesting to talk to in an intimate, relaxed environment. Then, take a nice, slow walk together and see how things go.
Why is this so much better than dinner or drinks?
There are many reasons. First, you concentrate on each other and not on a plate of rice or a steak. You talk to the real person and not a woman who hides her true face behind alcohol. You don't come across as a wimp who has to pay to be with a woman. You show your dominance by controlling the situation without coming across as controlling. You find out much faster whether or not there is chemistry between two of you.
You get an extra bonus too - if she seems unhappy about such a "cheap" date - you get to see and lose the "bitch" early on without wasting too much time on her.
Save the scuba-diving and rock-climbing for later. Start simple and ... if they deserve it - move up.
Read more!
What Do You Say About Yourself?
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by Mark
Our words and what we say have a very profound effect on our success or failure in dating.
We can use our words in many ways. We use our words when we approach women and when we converse with them. But today I don't want to talk to you about how to approach women, strike up a conversation, or talk to them on the telephone. I want to talk to you and have you look at what you are saying in your daily speech.
Think about what kinds of words are coming out of your mouth? Are they negative words of defeat? Don't talk about your problems constantly. If you're single today and lonely, you don't have to tell everyone about your problem. Talking about it won't do any good.
By our own words we can make ourselves happy or we can make ourselves miserable. That is why it's important to choose your words carefully. Your words can drag you down, or they can build you up.
So what do you say about yourself?
Do you say that you're not attractive enough to find someone? Do you say that nothing good ever happens to you? What do you say about your future? Do you say that you'll never find anyone and just be alone for the rest of you life?
If you do, you better make a decision to stop it today. Your own words will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don't verbalize your pain and suffering. The longer you talk about the negative things in your life, the longer you'll stay in that defeat. Use your words to change your situation, not describe it. You need to start saying that things are turning around in your favor. You need to say that anyone would be lucky to be with someone like you.
Remember that you can't have a negative tongue and expect to have a positive life.
Don't let another critical thing come out of your mouth about yourself.
I'm not saying to deny your problem. I'm just saying that you don't have to constantly talk about it. Quit being so hard on yourself. Nobody wants to be around a complainer. Especially in the tough times of life, guard your tongue more than ever. Your words during these times will either make you or break you. If you have a positive tongue, you can have a positive life in the midst of your circumstances.
So let me ask you today, which direction are you going? Forward or backwards? Positive or negative?
I understand that some of you may not feel successful or like a winner today, but let me encourage you to speak positive words anyway about your life. What we say acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you start to speak the right words about yourself and your situation, nothing will be able to stop you, and you'll live a life of success in dating and in your relationships.
Mark
poncho382@yahoo.com
Read more!
Our words and what we say have a very profound effect on our success or failure in dating.
We can use our words in many ways. We use our words when we approach women and when we converse with them. But today I don't want to talk to you about how to approach women, strike up a conversation, or talk to them on the telephone. I want to talk to you and have you look at what you are saying in your daily speech.
Think about what kinds of words are coming out of your mouth? Are they negative words of defeat? Don't talk about your problems constantly. If you're single today and lonely, you don't have to tell everyone about your problem. Talking about it won't do any good.
By our own words we can make ourselves happy or we can make ourselves miserable. That is why it's important to choose your words carefully. Your words can drag you down, or they can build you up.
So what do you say about yourself?
Do you say that you're not attractive enough to find someone? Do you say that nothing good ever happens to you? What do you say about your future? Do you say that you'll never find anyone and just be alone for the rest of you life?
If you do, you better make a decision to stop it today. Your own words will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don't verbalize your pain and suffering. The longer you talk about the negative things in your life, the longer you'll stay in that defeat. Use your words to change your situation, not describe it. You need to start saying that things are turning around in your favor. You need to say that anyone would be lucky to be with someone like you.
Remember that you can't have a negative tongue and expect to have a positive life.
Don't let another critical thing come out of your mouth about yourself.
I'm not saying to deny your problem. I'm just saying that you don't have to constantly talk about it. Quit being so hard on yourself. Nobody wants to be around a complainer. Especially in the tough times of life, guard your tongue more than ever. Your words during these times will either make you or break you. If you have a positive tongue, you can have a positive life in the midst of your circumstances.
So let me ask you today, which direction are you going? Forward or backwards? Positive or negative?
I understand that some of you may not feel successful or like a winner today, but let me encourage you to speak positive words anyway about your life. What we say acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you start to speak the right words about yourself and your situation, nothing will be able to stop you, and you'll live a life of success in dating and in your relationships.
Mark
poncho382@yahoo.com
Read more!
Feeling Down?
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by Mark Cockerell
Many of you who are frequent readers to this newsletter and the website know of the great tips mentioned. They cover a broad variety of topics and give some good tips on attracting women.
I'm sure that there are many of you who have put in a lot of time and effort reading up on these tips, working hard on improving yourself, and expanding your social skills, but still haven't found the right person. You still haven't reached your full potential in your dating life.
Some of you might have put all this work and effort in and still haven't seen the results you've been hoping for just yet. Well my advice to you is not to give up.
Some of you may be feeling down and discouraged and wonder is it really worth the trouble? Maybe things haven't turned out as you hoped they would. I want to encourage you all today who are thinking about quitting and throwing in the towel to keep on doing what you've been doing.
Keep on improving yourself and working hard. Keep on moving forward. Instead of looking at how far you've got to go, start looking at how far you've come. Look at how much you've grown and matured.
It's natural to feel a little discouraged when you don't automatically succeed. But you have to get back up and try again. You've worked too much and come too far to give up now. Who knows, maybe tomorrow you'll meet the person you've been looking for. What would happen if you gave up and started getting negative? You would have missed out on something great.
I want to encourage all of you who haven't seen your dreams turn out the way you had hoped to change your focus. It's time to get your hope back.
I like to look at it this way. When I wake up in the morning, I like to think that this could be the day I meet someone great. This could be the day that things turn around. And even if I didn't find or meet the person I want, I know that I'm one day closer until it comes to pass.
With each day that passes, you're one day closer to reaching your goal. So if you're a little bit down and frustrated, get up today. Get rid of that negative focus and point of view.
So remember, don't ever give up on your dreams. Get your hope back. Pull yourself out of that discouragement and one day, at the appointed time, you'll find someone great.
Mark Cockerell
Poncho382@yahoo.com
Read more!
Many of you who are frequent readers to this newsletter and the website know of the great tips mentioned. They cover a broad variety of topics and give some good tips on attracting women.
I'm sure that there are many of you who have put in a lot of time and effort reading up on these tips, working hard on improving yourself, and expanding your social skills, but still haven't found the right person. You still haven't reached your full potential in your dating life.
Some of you might have put all this work and effort in and still haven't seen the results you've been hoping for just yet. Well my advice to you is not to give up.
Some of you may be feeling down and discouraged and wonder is it really worth the trouble? Maybe things haven't turned out as you hoped they would. I want to encourage you all today who are thinking about quitting and throwing in the towel to keep on doing what you've been doing.
Keep on improving yourself and working hard. Keep on moving forward. Instead of looking at how far you've got to go, start looking at how far you've come. Look at how much you've grown and matured.
It's natural to feel a little discouraged when you don't automatically succeed. But you have to get back up and try again. You've worked too much and come too far to give up now. Who knows, maybe tomorrow you'll meet the person you've been looking for. What would happen if you gave up and started getting negative? You would have missed out on something great.
I want to encourage all of you who haven't seen your dreams turn out the way you had hoped to change your focus. It's time to get your hope back.
I like to look at it this way. When I wake up in the morning, I like to think that this could be the day I meet someone great. This could be the day that things turn around. And even if I didn't find or meet the person I want, I know that I'm one day closer until it comes to pass.
With each day that passes, you're one day closer to reaching your goal. So if you're a little bit down and frustrated, get up today. Get rid of that negative focus and point of view.
So remember, don't ever give up on your dreams. Get your hope back. Pull yourself out of that discouragement and one day, at the appointed time, you'll find someone great.
Mark Cockerell
Poncho382@yahoo.com
Read more!
One Simple Move
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by DJuanJS
Here's how to get her laughing, liking you, and alleviate any tension with one simple move.
The Beginning...
One thing you must know is that physical contact between the two of you is crucial. Touch her all the time and make it seem natural and she won't think anything of it. But she will begin to like it and get closer to you because your touch activates her female hormones. So touch is one of the most powerful tools you have.
The Move...
Ok, this move is awesome -- I use it all the time. Whenever the two of you are sitting down anywhere, just take your hand and put it on her leg or knee.
This is where it all starts to happen. Now what you want to do is make a face and expression like "oh man, I hope she doesn't notice" like you're acting goofy on purpose, because you are. But the key is not to look at her during this whole process.
Now what she's going to do is look at you. Trust me, she'll look. And that is when you want to keep your head straight forward and just move your eyes to look at her. When she sees you doing that, then turn your head toward her and when you make eye contact act surprised like you've been caught, because in reality you have.
Now you want to say something like "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot" in a playful 'you caught me' tone. Then remove your hand and grab hers and put it in the same spot but on your leg, and just say "There we go... I apologize" and just look straight forward again like nothing ever happened.
Trust me you'll get a reaction. She might push your arm or hit your arm and laugh or even squeeze your leg when you put her hand there -- that means you're doing good buddy. She's liking the teasing and playing.
You can end it there or add to when you put her hand on your leg. After looking forward, then look down at her hand and act shocked, in that playful tone again. "What is this? What are you trying to do?" or just do your own variation.
The Results...
What this does is it lets you get to touch her in a couple of different places on her body without her being uncomfortable because of the joking atmosphere, while at the same time you're getting her into you and liking your fun personality. It also gets her used to the two of you touching so that when you're touching and teasing later on, it won't seem hard or awkward -- wondering when to touch her because it won't be the first time. It'll seem normal to her and she'll feel comfortable touching you.
Try it out and let me know how it works for you. And if you have your own variations that work well too, let me know.
DJuanJS
spitfire_skater2005@hotmail.com
Read more!
Here's how to get her laughing, liking you, and alleviate any tension with one simple move.
The Beginning...
One thing you must know is that physical contact between the two of you is crucial. Touch her all the time and make it seem natural and she won't think anything of it. But she will begin to like it and get closer to you because your touch activates her female hormones. So touch is one of the most powerful tools you have.
The Move...
Ok, this move is awesome -- I use it all the time. Whenever the two of you are sitting down anywhere, just take your hand and put it on her leg or knee.
This is where it all starts to happen. Now what you want to do is make a face and expression like "oh man, I hope she doesn't notice" like you're acting goofy on purpose, because you are. But the key is not to look at her during this whole process.
Now what she's going to do is look at you. Trust me, she'll look. And that is when you want to keep your head straight forward and just move your eyes to look at her. When she sees you doing that, then turn your head toward her and when you make eye contact act surprised like you've been caught, because in reality you have.
Now you want to say something like "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot" in a playful 'you caught me' tone. Then remove your hand and grab hers and put it in the same spot but on your leg, and just say "There we go... I apologize" and just look straight forward again like nothing ever happened.
Trust me you'll get a reaction. She might push your arm or hit your arm and laugh or even squeeze your leg when you put her hand there -- that means you're doing good buddy. She's liking the teasing and playing.
You can end it there or add to when you put her hand on your leg. After looking forward, then look down at her hand and act shocked, in that playful tone again. "What is this? What are you trying to do?" or just do your own variation.
The Results...
What this does is it lets you get to touch her in a couple of different places on her body without her being uncomfortable because of the joking atmosphere, while at the same time you're getting her into you and liking your fun personality. It also gets her used to the two of you touching so that when you're touching and teasing later on, it won't seem hard or awkward -- wondering when to touch her because it won't be the first time. It'll seem normal to her and she'll feel comfortable touching you.
Try it out and let me know how it works for you. And if you have your own variations that work well too, let me know.
DJuanJS
spitfire_skater2005@hotmail.com
Read more!
You Have No Competition
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by Joe
It's funny how I always hear that you can't pick up a woman in a non pick-up zone, like a supermarket, a park, or out of the ordinary place. Yet, a couple of smooth lines and you're in like Flint.
Remember, at these places you HAVE NO COMPETITION! You're the center attraction, the holder of your own destiny. This isn't the local meat-market where hundreds of other guys are lurking around with the same intentions as you.
First, as usual you make eye contact, and if she responds favorably, you don't wait. You have to make your move quickly.
You look at her again as if you know her from somewhere but can't put your finger on it. Then you walk over and ask "Did you go to BlahBlah High School by any chance?"
Of course she didn't, but it opens the door to the next biggie -- "You look very familiar, where do I know you from?"
At this point she really starts thinking. If she's interested she'll tell you that you also look familiar but she can't place you either -- a coy game but very effective.
Then you ask her name and tell her yours. Of course you're both still acting puzzled on where you know each other from. Then all you have to say is "Would you like to go out with me sometime?"
She can't say that she doesn't know you because she just wracked her own brain figuring out where you know each other from, so it's usually easy pickings by this time.
I always have business cards with my number AND email address -- just in case she doesn't call guys. It's an easier "in" for her. But of course this method is only if she feels uncomfortable giving out her number.
And voila, you're in like a dirty shirt in the laundry...
I have better luck with this than any bar I've ever been in.
Read more!
It's funny how I always hear that you can't pick up a woman in a non pick-up zone, like a supermarket, a park, or out of the ordinary place. Yet, a couple of smooth lines and you're in like Flint.
Remember, at these places you HAVE NO COMPETITION! You're the center attraction, the holder of your own destiny. This isn't the local meat-market where hundreds of other guys are lurking around with the same intentions as you.
First, as usual you make eye contact, and if she responds favorably, you don't wait. You have to make your move quickly.
You look at her again as if you know her from somewhere but can't put your finger on it. Then you walk over and ask "Did you go to BlahBlah High School by any chance?"
Of course she didn't, but it opens the door to the next biggie -- "You look very familiar, where do I know you from?"
At this point she really starts thinking. If she's interested she'll tell you that you also look familiar but she can't place you either -- a coy game but very effective.
Then you ask her name and tell her yours. Of course you're both still acting puzzled on where you know each other from. Then all you have to say is "Would you like to go out with me sometime?"
She can't say that she doesn't know you because she just wracked her own brain figuring out where you know each other from, so it's usually easy pickings by this time.
I always have business cards with my number AND email address -- just in case she doesn't call guys. It's an easier "in" for her. But of course this method is only if she feels uncomfortable giving out her number.
And voila, you're in like a dirty shirt in the laundry...
I have better luck with this than any bar I've ever been in.
Read more!
Find an Emotional Outlet
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by Daniel Francis
As a Don Juan, you can't go around whining every time a woman rejects you. You'll be a hopeless, depressing person and definitely won't get girls. You'll be a wuss.
However, many people find not expressing emotions much easier said than done. You keep your feelings inside you and you're likely to have a mental breakdown and, in certain instances, experience a condition known as "head exploding into a million pieces". It's rather uncomfortable.
So find an outlet. For example, people who write music, but who are fairly unskilled with women, will often find it comes much easier as they have a lot of raw emotions bottled up inside for their music.
Paul McCartney and John Lennon, who as young stars always appeared unaffected by any girl's rejection, often wrote very emotional songs as an outlet for these pent-up feelings. Some of those songs (Help!, If I Fell) are some of their biggest hits.
Poetry and art are also great outlets for pent-up feelings. Both are emotional artistic mediums that you can convey true feelings in. Writing can even help you release these feelings.
Remember, showing emotion is a big turn off for women, but emotions often can make great inspiration for the arts. And the arts can be a great way to release these emotions that have to go somewhere.
Daniel Francis
dannowillbookem@comcast.net
Read more!
As a Don Juan, you can't go around whining every time a woman rejects you. You'll be a hopeless, depressing person and definitely won't get girls. You'll be a wuss.
However, many people find not expressing emotions much easier said than done. You keep your feelings inside you and you're likely to have a mental breakdown and, in certain instances, experience a condition known as "head exploding into a million pieces". It's rather uncomfortable.
So find an outlet. For example, people who write music, but who are fairly unskilled with women, will often find it comes much easier as they have a lot of raw emotions bottled up inside for their music.
Paul McCartney and John Lennon, who as young stars always appeared unaffected by any girl's rejection, often wrote very emotional songs as an outlet for these pent-up feelings. Some of those songs (Help!, If I Fell) are some of their biggest hits.
Poetry and art are also great outlets for pent-up feelings. Both are emotional artistic mediums that you can convey true feelings in. Writing can even help you release these feelings.
Remember, showing emotion is a big turn off for women, but emotions often can make great inspiration for the arts. And the arts can be a great way to release these emotions that have to go somewhere.
Daniel Francis
dannowillbookem@comcast.net
Read more!
Don't Tolerate Second Class Behavior
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by PracticalHappiness.com
Don't tolerate second class behavior and don't hope it will change - it won't!
Ever called a girl you met and had her texting you three days later asking you how you are doing? You wonder what is wrong with her. Why doesn't she call you back?
What about when she tells you that she couldn't call back for 4 days because she didn't have time? Can you think of a serious, valid reason why someone wouldn't be able to spend one minute on calling you back as a matter of courtesy?
Or even better - have you ever set up a date and had a woman cancel on you two hours before because she was tired? Why in the world would she do that?
Save your time and energy and realize that these women live in a reality that is different from yours. Their paradigm is of irresponsible behavior and they lack respect for their time and/or yours.
Are they mean on purpose? Probably not. They are simply not bright enough to understand that what they do is wrong or rude. Or perhaps they follow "The Rules" which makes them even more ridiculous.
In any event - don't waste ANY time on them. Cut them off as early as you can and focus your attention, time and energy on those who do return your phone calls promptly, show up on time, and otherwise treat you respectfully.
Her basic courtesy or "business etiquette" in communicating with you at the very early stages is a reliable indicator as to who she is. Use it to your advantage to weed out the bad roots early and keep yourself busy with the good ones.
Read more!
Don't tolerate second class behavior and don't hope it will change - it won't!
Ever called a girl you met and had her texting you three days later asking you how you are doing? You wonder what is wrong with her. Why doesn't she call you back?
What about when she tells you that she couldn't call back for 4 days because she didn't have time? Can you think of a serious, valid reason why someone wouldn't be able to spend one minute on calling you back as a matter of courtesy?
Or even better - have you ever set up a date and had a woman cancel on you two hours before because she was tired? Why in the world would she do that?
Save your time and energy and realize that these women live in a reality that is different from yours. Their paradigm is of irresponsible behavior and they lack respect for their time and/or yours.
Are they mean on purpose? Probably not. They are simply not bright enough to understand that what they do is wrong or rude. Or perhaps they follow "The Rules" which makes them even more ridiculous.
In any event - don't waste ANY time on them. Cut them off as early as you can and focus your attention, time and energy on those who do return your phone calls promptly, show up on time, and otherwise treat you respectfully.
Her basic courtesy or "business etiquette" in communicating with you at the very early stages is a reliable indicator as to who she is. Use it to your advantage to weed out the bad roots early and keep yourself busy with the good ones.
Read more!
Confident Men Don't Explain
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by Gubby
"I can't come because..."
"I can't do that because..."
Most people, when refusing something, will immediately add, "because..." and launch into an explanation. But they didn't ask for an explanation!
Even if they'll want to know, you can come off so much more confident by putting forward the refusal and then saying nothing - forcing them to ask why.
The message it gives is that you could really give a damn about what she thinks about you - and whatever you do you know will be right, so you don't need to explain yourself.
The trick is also an "open loop" as described in Swinggcat's book, Real World Seduction. It involves them in the conversation by making them ask questions to open you up, and in doing so commits them psychologically to being interested.
,
Read more!
"I can't come because..."
"I can't do that because..."
Most people, when refusing something, will immediately add, "because..." and launch into an explanation. But they didn't ask for an explanation!
Even if they'll want to know, you can come off so much more confident by putting forward the refusal and then saying nothing - forcing them to ask why.
The message it gives is that you could really give a damn about what she thinks about you - and whatever you do you know will be right, so you don't need to explain yourself.
The trick is also an "open loop" as described in Swinggcat's book, Real World Seduction. It involves them in the conversation by making them ask questions to open you up, and in doing so commits them psychologically to being interested.
,
Read more!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Just Kiss Her
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Just Kiss Her
by Davis Does Dallas
I have a friend who is just a natural with people. It's as though he has this compulsion to talk to whoever he finds within ten feet of himself. He's funny and a fantastic conversationalist.
Despite this rare and coveted gift, however, he just has no luck with women.
When we were discussing his maligned fortune, he said he had a hard time "closing the deal," asking me how I went from talking to a girl at the bar to pressing her up against the jukebox. He was shocked by my answer...
"I just kiss her."
You can talk to a girl for an hour and be no closer to your goal. Or, you can open the conversation amicably, convert to flirting, and if she responds favorably, just kiss her.
If she's receptive at all, she'll be impressed you ACTED, and chances are she'll kiss you back. If she pushes you away, you just saved yourself an hour of wasted conversation, and you're free to try again with someone else.
Yes, it is that simple.
Read more!
by Davis Does Dallas
I have a friend who is just a natural with people. It's as though he has this compulsion to talk to whoever he finds within ten feet of himself. He's funny and a fantastic conversationalist.
Despite this rare and coveted gift, however, he just has no luck with women.
When we were discussing his maligned fortune, he said he had a hard time "closing the deal," asking me how I went from talking to a girl at the bar to pressing her up against the jukebox. He was shocked by my answer...
"I just kiss her."
You can talk to a girl for an hour and be no closer to your goal. Or, you can open the conversation amicably, convert to flirting, and if she responds favorably, just kiss her.
If she's receptive at all, she'll be impressed you ACTED, and chances are she'll kiss you back. If she pushes you away, you just saved yourself an hour of wasted conversation, and you're free to try again with someone else.
Yes, it is that simple.
Read more!
What If She Has a Boyfriend?
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by Derek
This is something a friend of mine came up with so I gave it a try. And to much success, I might add.
When you meet a new girl and you're hitting it off pretty well in the small talk area, you want to get her number. But the problem is most of them already have a boyfriend. When they give you this reply, without even flinching, tell them:
"That's O.K., I'll still take you out. I'm not the jealous type."
Number 1: They laugh. (Good sign.)
Number 2: It elongates the conversation. (No weird, "I just got rejected feeling.")
Number 3: If they don't give you their number after that, they will take yours. (I prefer a business card here, looks more professional, and doesn't get discarded as easy.)
The beauty of this is like I said, it takes away the awkward feeling of rejection. Plus, if the conversation was going well in the first place, the woman has a small attraction to you anyways, whether only friendly or not.
I have had this work every time, with only one woman not ever call me. You always feel confident about what you did and said this way also.
I have found that my personality has blessed me with women that are out of my league (as far as looks are concerned). So be confident when you say this, don't make it "another cheesy line". Say it like you mean it.
Read more!
This is something a friend of mine came up with so I gave it a try. And to much success, I might add.
When you meet a new girl and you're hitting it off pretty well in the small talk area, you want to get her number. But the problem is most of them already have a boyfriend. When they give you this reply, without even flinching, tell them:
"That's O.K., I'll still take you out. I'm not the jealous type."
Number 1: They laugh. (Good sign.)
Number 2: It elongates the conversation. (No weird, "I just got rejected feeling.")
Number 3: If they don't give you their number after that, they will take yours. (I prefer a business card here, looks more professional, and doesn't get discarded as easy.)
The beauty of this is like I said, it takes away the awkward feeling of rejection. Plus, if the conversation was going well in the first place, the woman has a small attraction to you anyways, whether only friendly or not.
I have had this work every time, with only one woman not ever call me. You always feel confident about what you did and said this way also.
I have found that my personality has blessed me with women that are out of my league (as far as looks are concerned). So be confident when you say this, don't make it "another cheesy line". Say it like you mean it.
Read more!
Don't Ever Use These Words
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by PracticalHappiness.com
Suppose you talk to a girl for the first time after you met her or shortly after. You are trying to set up the time and place to meet, but it appears that you can't quite figure out when both of you are available at the same time to meet up.
In that situation, whatever you do, don't say: "Well, just give me a call and let me know...."
NO, NO, NO!!!
You NEVER want to be in a position of waiting for a woman's call or leaving it up to her to call you. This strategy is a loser for several reasons.
First, most girls don't call unless they are already really into you which is usually rare at the early stages of your interactions with them. They just have too much ego to call and seek you out even if they are interested.
Second, if you decide to call when you don't hear from a girl, you are going to feel stupid because... you asked her to call earlier.
So, if a woman is uncertain about when she is available, instead of saying, "Call me and let me know" tell her "OK, I will call you by the end of the week and see if you figured your schedule out a little better."
Keep the power and control to yourself. You will be much better off and you will come across as a more attractive and confident guy.
Read more!
Suppose you talk to a girl for the first time after you met her or shortly after. You are trying to set up the time and place to meet, but it appears that you can't quite figure out when both of you are available at the same time to meet up.
In that situation, whatever you do, don't say: "Well, just give me a call and let me know...."
NO, NO, NO!!!
You NEVER want to be in a position of waiting for a woman's call or leaving it up to her to call you. This strategy is a loser for several reasons.
First, most girls don't call unless they are already really into you which is usually rare at the early stages of your interactions with them. They just have too much ego to call and seek you out even if they are interested.
Second, if you decide to call when you don't hear from a girl, you are going to feel stupid because... you asked her to call earlier.
So, if a woman is uncertain about when she is available, instead of saying, "Call me and let me know" tell her "OK, I will call you by the end of the week and see if you figured your schedule out a little better."
Keep the power and control to yourself. You will be much better off and you will come across as a more attractive and confident guy.
Read more!
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