I'm sure you're familiar with the infuriating mantra about lovely guys that you've heard repeated time plus again from all sorts of women on these stupid afternoon gab shows: "...But Opal (name of god-like TV talk show host changed to protect my innocent bank account), there's no two out there for me to date — all the guys are such jerks plus losers. I require to meet a, a... lovely guy..." Waahhh!
So why do women keep it up with all this mythical lovely guy stuff? As usual they're speaking in their own little code, which of coursework women are famous for doing in order to keep men thoroughly confused I guess.
The problem with being overtly lovely or lap-doggishly friendly plus accommodating around women is that it communicates the absolute worse possible kind of subliminal message to them about your male status, namely... that's it's way down in the dumps somewhere. This is because lovely guy behavior is not something that women see men as suddenly "switching on" in their presence in some sort of well-meaning but fumbled attempt to impress them. Not at all.
It is very difficult for most women to create any sort of sexual mojo for a squishy lovely guy. Nature has hardwired the female brain to seek out the most powerful male in order to produce the strongest offspring with the best chance for survival. It's the same reason why men have been hardwired to chase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness, which of coursework indicates reproductive vitality, plus ignore elderly women. plus while male plus female actions may be different, their GOALS remain the same — strong healthy babies to carryover forth the species. "Maleness" plus "femaleness" therefore can actually be thought of as two opposite but complimentary strategies for reproduction.
Instead, they believe all this lovely plus sweet behavior is something that you've been trained to exhibit by the other, vastly more powerful men in your world. In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learned to act in the presence of stronger men in order to protect themselves. ("I am no threat to your status as the more dominant male... don't hurt me... let me be your harmless, lovable side-kick..." etc.).
To females then, over-the-top niceness is little over a red flashing signal of Low Male Status, plus therefore... an enormous TURN-OFF to them!
In the service of these independent tactical requirements, men plus women are powerfully compelled to behave in different manners in order to execute these dissimilar strategies on two another. The dance of mating plus seduction in all creatures is linked inseparably to this biological imperative. Go against it plus you're flying in the face of millions of years of evolution... or perhaps its design, who knows? Learn to play by it's rules however, plus you will get your share of mating action!
So to help you out with this very subtle part of the game, here's my #1 "Nice Guy Rule" for you right now...
While you never require to actually ACT like a fawning lovely guy around women... somehow, you always require to SEEM like two. Can you get a sense of what I'm trying to convey here? The problem with being lovely is trying to be lovely in a painfully obvious way than letting it sort of happen. It absolutely kills your mojo to come across as enthusiastic a lovely guy. You only require to drop a few hints here plus there using your behavior plus attitude that you could be two without making big a deal about it.
So when you first meet a woman that you're attracted to, you require to establish a few non-verbal lines of communication with her in a way that tends to provoke these first instinctual sorts of connecting-mating thoughts in her subconscious mind. To a lot of women this potential conflict — this suggestion of sexual tension looming out there on the horizon — is the very definition of "chemistry"!
See, when women imagine lovely guys I think what they're dreaming about is a man who makes them feel SAFE — but in a very special sort of way that preserves his sexual attractiveness to them. Actually, this is not all that mysterious when you think about it from the female perspective. To a woman, a safe guy only means that you're (probably) physically harmless to her. In terms of what you could do to mash up her emotions, well...that's a different story. This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous is what most women are searching for in their relationships with men, at least initially.
nice trick you say? Actually it's not horribly difficult to communicate non-verbally. two ways in which you can smoothly transmit your possible desire are through extended eye contact — plus with the use of brief, non-offensive touches strategically placed here plus there. Both casual when done correctly, but unmistakable in their genuine pre-romantic meaning to her!
This is how you can come across with the "class of a lovely guy" without having to wear the low status stain along with it.
You can further advance your classy lovely guy status by... 1) slipping in suggestions of having strong family-friends relationships — a sign to women that you're "connected plus normal", or 2) that you've something EXCITING going on in your life — either at work, as a hobby, or perhaps some recent travel adventure of some kind, etc. This makes you seem adventuresome, involved, connected... hey, a "nice" catch!
Add to this some of that deep eye contact to silently communicate a more-than-just-friendly interest in her, plus now you've created of an edge to get her heart racing! At the very least, this type of behavior will keep you out of the deadly "friends zone" by showing the courage to make your desire apparent to her in a way that cannot be confused with the work of the desperate loser.
As an example, I used to work for a photography company. Maybe half a dozen to 20 times a year, I got to fly around in light planes shooting aerial pics around the Western New York area. Now sometimes when I'm chatting up a girl, I'll work in a speedy little anecdote drawn from two of my elderly flying jobs... like how the snowpack collecting on Lake Erie forms such beautifully colored cracks in the greenish ice sheets during the height of mid-winter, or something semi-poetic like that. But then I make nothing more of it — all done very nonchalantly. Nor do I fully explain how I came in to the position of flying around making such observations in the first place. What am I involved in that would give me an opportunity to view this sort of natural wonder?
I permit little anecdotes about myself like this to ride as a tease for as long as I can without getting stupid about it.
Sounds silly I know, but this type of deliberate manipulation of how you present yourself can generate a teeny bit of mystery.
Remember, your flirt is always a gift to her — plus most every woman is fascinated by a man with an interesting approach. Curiosity can often capture a woman's attention long for you to make a positive first impression. In a similar manner, you can drop hints about your educational status, finances, artistic talent or whatever you require to put over about yourself without bragging about it like a complete goofball.
Instead, you've presented yourself as a rare encounter in a universe of men that usually breaks down in to sexless, boring lovely guys or ultimately worthless (but alas, exciting!...) jerks. No matter what other flaws you might imagine yourself to have, you can become provocative to her in a way that at the very least they can't categorize as being "wimpy nice".
& as added frosting on the cake, coming across as an edgy sort of lovely guy will open up a vast new playing field of opportunities for you because you've suddenly become beautiful to a smarter, more self-respecting class of women who won't settle for jerks — but are basically turned off by the squishy-boring variety of lovely guy.
Which means that you can begin to operate with the certain, sexy confidence of the High Status Male!
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