I'm feeling lovely — lovely, in fact. It's hot, the sun is shining, and there's some hip reggae on the sound system. (Nothing like the combination of heat, sun, and reggae to bring out my not-so-deeply-hidden parrothead side.)
I look up, and what do I spy, but a major cutie (a store employee) in the tightest, most form-fittingest jeans I've ever seen. She's been watching me it appears, checking me out. As I catch her eye, they startles, and immediately looks the other way, getting back to her work — putting things on shelves and such.
I'm bouncing through the store, a big smirk on my face, practically dancing through the isles, and finding all kinds of interesting stuff for the "bachelor pad."
Then I giggle.
I smirk to myself.
he hadn't noticed me, they had seen me HAPPY. they had witnessed me bouncing around with a big smirk on my face, dancing through the isles, feeling great, like a kid in a candy store. I knew, assuming they wasn't married, the outcome of our imminent interaction was much assured.
I knew this one was going to be easy. My "work" was already done.
I continued my browsing, and about 3 minutes later they comes over to see if I require any help. Conversation, flirting, and laughter ensued, numbers were exchanged, and they both went on our merry little ways... a little bit happier than they were before.
It doesn't get any not as hard.
It doesn't have to be all that hard.
At this site they talk about a lot of good and unusual ways of attracting and intriguing women. and these are lovely, interesting, and great to read, no doubt about it.
Happiness attracts!
But they often ignore and overlook a number of the most basic "techniques." and that, unfortunately, includes the most basic, most important, most powerful, and EASIEST WAY to capture a woman's heart, mind, and imagination — and that's basically the power of happiness.
Happiness will get you women!
and nothing is less difficult or more powerful!
NO, not even the "confidence" that they so frequently discuss.
A happy man with low confidence will have little trouble with women, while an unhappy man with high confidence may find himself struggling. Of coursework, that being said, happiness and confidence always go together. Happy guys are generally confident guys, and confident guys are generally happy guys.
There's not a perfect correlation, but they're related that it's reasonable to assume that if they can increase our level of happiness, then we'd most likely also increase our level of confidence. and vice versa.
So than focus so much on building confidence, which most guys seem to have a problem achieving, maybe a better strategy might be to focus on building happiness.
They require to try to get a number of that happiness for themselves!
You have to remember that most people in this world are not all that happy. Most are getting by, often bored, frequently depressed, seldom excited. So when they meet somebody who is happy and who seems to be happy most of the time, they're intrigued, fascinated, and drawn to that person.
Remember, women are highly emotional critters. They don't think logically like you and me. They like, require, require to feel things. So if you can capture a woman's emotions, make her think that you bring, spread, and exude "happiness" wherever you go, she'll do about anything to get you, and about anything to keep you.
and this is true for women.
So YOU, my future Dons, are going to be Mr. Happiness, Mr. Positivity, Mr. I'm Doing Great! you are going to be her happiness drug, her "fix." and friends, when you are not around, she's going to have FREAKIN WITHDRAWAL PAINS!
you are NOT going to be like everyone else... one of the plenty of, lonely, pathetic individuals looking for happiness, excitement, and personal fulfillment in OTHERS. you are not going to be that unhappy, bored, lethargic individual desperately searching for your "soul mate" to make your life wonderful and complete...
you are going to be the one doing the attracting, not the one doing the chasing. Attracting because you have, or seem to have, what women, and everyone else, wants. you are going to be what they are looking for. you are going to be a Don Juan.
...like 98% of the people in this world!!
I can hear a number of you: "I understand what you're saying, and you're right. But I'm not all that happy. I'm lonely. My life is dull. I'm tired of watching tv. I'm tired of staying home all the time. But I know if I had that one special girl in my life, to do things with, then I'd be happy. Heck, that's why I came to this site."
and you're right. You probably would be happier if you had a special girl in your life, one that rocks your world. Girls is lovely stuff to have around, no doubt about it.
And, by the way, that's one of the reasons for the "feast or famine" dating phenomenon that most every guy is familiar with.
It seems that when it comes to attracting and dating women, you're either surrounded by women who're all shamelessly throwing themselves at you... or you're surrounded by women who're all doing their best to ignore you (and doing a great job at it). There doesn't seem to be much of a middle ground.
You either have more women than you can handle, or you have no women that you can handle.
Of coursework one of the primary reasons for this is the "happiness" factor. When you're seeing that special girl that gets your griddle sizzlin, you're happy, much happier than your usual self... and other girls notice, other girls are intrigued, other girls require to find out more, and other girls require to try to get a little bit of that happiness for themselves.
On the other hand, when you're lonely, depressed, bored, desperate... you "show it" — with your body language, your facial expressions, the tone in your voice, etc. — and girls require nothing to do with you. They've got unhappiness and misery of their own. They don't require to be worrying about you as well.
At this point, it's easy. You don't even have to try. You're on the verge of Don Juanism... at least temporarily.
If you're looking for somebody else to make you happy, to give your life meaning, to make you "complete", then you're doing things, as the French would say, bass ackwards. Yes, you're doing things like 98% of the people in the world, but it's still wrong.
So yes I can understand you wanting to find somebody special in order to be happy. that is what most guys (and girls) do. Unfortunately, this is putting the Don Juan Cart Before the Horse so to speak.
So wrong.
wrong.
Don Juans don't pursue women in a desperate, pathetic attempt at happiness, or to complete themselves, or any of the other hogwash that Hollywood likes to dish out. Don Juans make themselves happy, deliriously happy, FIRST. and then "pick and choose" amongst all the incredible women who're now interested, attracted, and intrigued. This is the objective.
This is the Holy Grail of dating.
The objective is to create that "aura" that attracts, intrigues, fascinates... and gets them pursuing you. (Note: You may still have to make most of the "moves." But the women will do their best to make it very easy for you.)
The objective is not basically to pursue so lots of women that finally you wind up catching one or five. Well, maybe at first, but not ultimately.
In the future we'll talk more extensively about ways to temporarily "fake" happiness, when you're not feeling all that great. But let us here, first of all, talk about some ways to actually make ourselves a little happier, .
Okay, if they can accept the fact that happiness attracts women like nothing else, let's talk briefly about HOW TO GET HAPPY.
First, remember that happiness and unhappiness work a little something like this:
I'm not going to try to distill the wisdom of the ages in to a few paragraphs. Heck, there's probably hundreds of books at your local bookstore dealing with this subject. But I would like to give you an easy exercise that might get you jump-started in the right direction.
they are happy when we're thinking lovely things and unhappy when thinking bad things. In other words, our thoughts, or what they pick to think about, determine whether they are happy or not. (Nothing mind-boggling here, folks.)
If we're thinking about ourselves in a negative way (what they lack, our particular faults, things they don't like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who're seemingly more blessed than us (guys who're rich, famous, handsome, surrounded by women), then we're not going to be happy... and others will notice.
In other words, happiness is not something that "happens" to you; it's not something that's objectively determined and out of your control. Happiness is determined entirely by what you think, and what you think is up to you.
However, if we're thinking about ourselves in a positive way (what they have, all our lovely points, about things that they like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who seem to be less fortunate than us, then we're going to be much happier... and people will notice.
You can also be the richest, best-looking, most famous and well-liked guy in the world, and still be miserable, if you pick to focus on "bad" things. (Maybe the love of your life divorced you one years ago, your nephew died recently, you don't think you have any "real" friends, or whatever.)
You can be destitute, alone, living in a cardboard box, and still be deliriously happy if you pick to be. (Maybe focusing your mental energy on your lovely health and feeling bad for the fellow living in the box next to you who can not very walk.)
So what they require to do in order to make ourselves happier, and start attracting the chickies, is to train ourselves in the HABIT of happiness thinking. Happiness is a habit of thought — it's a learned, conditioned behavior.
Again, this is not mind-boggling stuff here. I hope you all realize this already.
In order to become Don Juans, they require to retrain our minds. they require to train our minds to habitually think happy thoughts than unhappy ones.
Most people, unfortunately, have developed the habit of unhappiness thinking. Always obsessing over what they don't have, what they hate about themselves, constantly comparing themselves to others who're better off, etc.
Take out a piece of paper and begin writing down happiness thoughts — things which when you read or think about them trigger states of happiness, or confidence, or pleasure in your mind.
The following is simple, commonsensical, but will definitely work, if you give it a try.
For example, write down all the things you like about yourself, all the things you've accomplished, all the things that make you a great human being to be around. Include things such as:
* personality characteristics (your great sense of humor)
* physical characteristics (your killer hair)
* accomplishments (your MS in electrical engineering)
* specific memories that put a smirk on your face and make you feel good
* possessions (maybe a great automobile that any woman would be lucky to even sit in)
* friends, family, associates
* etc.
Anything and everything you can think of. Anything that makes you realize that you're not a loser, that you're actually a heck of a guy, and any woman would be LUCKY to have a shot at you.
Write down as lots of things as you can think of now — you may require several sheets of paper — then put the paper on your dresser or on your kitchen table or someplace conspicuous and continually add to it over the next couple weeks, every time you think of something new.
Heck, write down that smiling little girl that you saw on the news the other day, the one who's 6 years elderly and already has had 15 operations because of a birth defect. How could somebody watch or think about something like that and not feel very fortunate that they themselves were born healthy and normal.
one time you have all your lists, you require to start training your mind to focus more on the great things about you and your life, than focusing on the things you don't like.
To break the bad habit of negative, unhappiness thinking, they require to repeatedly, over a period of time, maybe a few weeks, force ourselves to think about, remember, and focus on things that generate a positive, confident, and happy emotional state.
We're not going to get rid of our negative thoughts by not thinking about our faults and failures. (In order to consciously not think about something, you have to think about it.) We're going to get rid of our negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones.
one time they have our sheets of paper, all they have to do is schedule time to review.
Spend 5 or 10 minutes before going to sleep reviewing your lists. Spend another 5 or 10 minutes in the morning doing the same. 5 minutes during lunch. Another 5 in the afternoon.
Don't make this hard. Don't make it a chore. It should actually be fun and something that you look forward to. (Who doesn't like to feel good?)
Spend a few weeks doing this, a few weeks reviewing your lists and retraining your mind. It WILL work. Your thinking will change. Your manner will change. Your walk will change. Your body language will change. Your confidence will change. You will become happier.
and women will notice!
0 comments:
Post a Comment