HOW TO BANISH NEEDINESS

Hey Gentleman,

One of the worst tortures that any man
can go through on earth is being obsessed
with one woman who doesn't seem to
understand him, love him, or want him.

Not only is it torturous, but that very feeling
destroys his sense of confidence, and robs
him of his charisma and sense of humor,
not only with her, but will ALL women,
which makes his results even worse,
which then makes him feel even worse,
and so on.

So what I'd like to do today is help any man
reading this to stop the insanity that he is
doing to himself and to stop the pain and
the suffering.

Meanwhile, the jerks always think they are
great and that they are the prize, etc.

So, anytime you feel yourself obsessing
over ONE woman, I want you to take
notice of the following things:

1.
How much time have you REALLY spent with
OTHER women lately?

2.
How much time have you been FANTASIZING
about how GREAT and PERFECT things would
be if you just had HER?

3.
How much ACTION have you actually took
to meet OTHER women?

These three actions form a "perfect storm" of
DISASTER to your emotions.

See, what happens is that rather than living in
the REALITY of having to take ACTION to
meet other women, it's much easier (even though
it's also simultaneously PAINFUL) to
fantasize about some dream concept with
some woman who you aren't actually
WITH.

See, the mind is a very interesting thing:
Given the choice to think about a perfect fantasy
or having to pursue something in reality, it will
ALWAYS choose fantasy, because no matter
how awesome a REALITY is, it can NEVER
match the fantasy that YOU YOURSELF have
created in your OWN mind.

It's the perfect fantasy because you created it.

So let's say you are obsessed with one woman,
whether it's a woman who you've had to divorce,
a woman who you love who has never loved you
back, or any other woman, 99 per cent of the time
the PAIN comes from the CONTRAST of
FANTASIZING about how AWESOME things
"could" be, and then comparing that to your reality.

And of course, since you haven't been working
on CHANGING that reality, that reality currently
feels PARTICULARLY bad.

Presto- this creates the emotion known as
NEEDINESS.

You now don't just LIKE a particular woman, you
now NEED HER for dear life.

And it really makes me sick how so many of the
BEST MEN ON EARTH are the ones who make
themselves suffer so much, it's because they
aren't arrogant and they allow themselves to
give a little TOO MUCH credit to a woman who
really hasn't earned it.

This to me, is not really nice, it's kind of a nice
that comes from not KNOWING the reality of
their own value and from distorting the value
of someone else and inflating it.

So the key is to first become AWARE of
what you are doing- you are comparing
something that is not even REAL, something
that exists only in your mind, i.e. how
PERFECT things would be if you just
HAD this woman, with what life would
be like if you took action in real life
with some other women.

The REAL LIFE can't match or compare.
And the longer you allow yourself to stay
obsessed, the MORE you brainwash yourself
into thinking and FEELING that the things
you've projected onto a woman are indeed
TRUE and FACTUAL.

See, humans aren't very good at determining
REALITY, they think that their EMOTIONS
are always good indicators of TRUTH, and
though sometimes they are, they also sometimes
are TOTALLY WRONG.

So if you allow yourself to follow your emotions
of pining or obsessing for some woman who
hasn't done much to EARN that, you will
brainwash yourself into thinking she HAS
earned it, as if you are so low on the scale
of value that she is so awesome in comparison,
or you'll brainwash yourself of her value
in some other way, you'll actually convince
yourself that she really IS from a logical
point of view "worth it", when in reality
this is known as backwards rationalizing,
or "cognitive dissonance".

By the way, almost EVERYONE brainwashes
themselves, and it's almost never a good thing.
For example, some women are emotionally
irresponsible and they attribute the cause of
their negative emotions to everyone except
themselves.


If you want a quality woman in your life,
you'd be best warned to watch out for
a woman who sees herself as a victim of
everything.

The reality is that while some human beings
manage to barely walk away from an oven
in a concentration camp as a child and still
grow up emotionally stable, other people
will cry like the world is ending because
ten years ago their mom didn't buy them
a CHOCOLATE CAKE for their birthday.

Other people will blame the fact that they
weren't allowed to eat junk food as kid
for why they need to cheat on their spouse
or partner.

The bottom line is, it's not really your
CIRCUMSTANCES, it's your ATTITUDE
that determines the meaning of those
circumstances.

But if you let your emotions RULE YOU
rather than YOU ruling your EMOTIONS,
your emotions will pretend they are your
friend, and they will make you think that
indeed everything else in life is what is
bringing you down, but that it's not your
responsibility at all.

If you are looking for a great woman, then
be on the lookout for how consistent she is
in being in a positive frame of mind, and
also be on the lookout to see how consistent
she is with maintaining a sense of moral
fairness, i.e. does she bump ahead of other
people in line? Does she jump to conclusions
about things? Is the rational or is she usually
basing her decisions on whatever emotion
she's feeling in the moment?

Does she insist on using condoms?
Or does she go base things on a "feeling"???

Does she work hard or does she
"feel" no work is inspiring or
worth doing?

So, don't think that it's just you who must
do this battle to conquer emotions when
they can cloud your thinking, it's everyone,
but if you want to get rid of NEEDINESS,
then just start to notice how the needy
feeling you have for a woman is always
accompanied by a tendency to NOT
STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, and
to instead fantasize about some made
up concept of how awesome life would
be if you "just" had this woman.

This type of thinking will actually prevent
you from ever GETTING a great woman,
because a great woman has got her emotions
under control and would expect that you as
a MAN should FOR SURE have his.

Mind you, great men and great women are
EXTREMELY RARE.

But once you develop yourself to get into
that category, you suddenly start to find
them very easily, because you know how
to immediately detect one when you've
found one. The difference between her
and other women and in fact between her
and most other PEOPLE, is MASSIVE.

Getting control over your neediness is so
important, that if you don't, you won't
notice the very REAL things that a woman
will be doing to you including things that
are not cool at all. So for example, a woman
who you've allowed yourself to feel too
much emotion for and she hasn't earned
it, you will become BLIND to the fact
she is not 100% faithful, i.e. she is too
flirty with all kinds of guys be it on
facebook, twitter, or anywhere else,
or the fact she is actually a hypocrite,
i.e. many women love to talk about
peace and love and not judging others,
but the moment you happen to do
something that is not her way, she
will absolutely judge you, and she
won't understand you.

But NEEDINESS in your soul will find
A MILLION EXCUSES for it.

This is the thing, as a great man, you have to
have the POTENTIAL WARMTH to unleash
in a woman who DESERVES it, but you also
have to have the potential COLDNESS of a
"jerk" to shut off your emotions so that you
don't become weak and make the wrong
decisions to pursue the wrong woman or
to tolerate LOW STANDARDS OF
BEHAVIOR.

The moment you find yourself getting
EMOTIONALLY WEAK, go jump in
a COLD SHOWER for an instant!

It will WAKE YOU UP OUT OF THE
SPELL!

So the lesson for today is to become
AWARE of the FALLACY of creating
fantasies in your mind based on zero
evidence, and becoming AWARE of
how this FICTION then robs you of
the desire to actually take action in
the REAL WORLD, which is less
than perfect, but still pretty damn
AWESOME, because it's actually
REAL.

A real woman, beautiful and with a great
personality but who is not perfect, is much
better than the DISTORTED concept of
PERFECTION that you've created in
your mind of some particular woman.

Take that FIRST STEP today by actually
CHALLENGING your emotions for
EVIDENCE.

So, if you are feeling NEEDY for a woman,
demand REAL EVIDENCE for why she is
so great. And make sure you are calm when
you are doing this, because if you do it when
needy, you'll CREATE LIES that you will
believe to back up your emotions.

Also, if you are feeling FEAR of approaching
a woman, DEMAND REAL EVIDENCE.

You know that FEAR is just
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Getting your inner game is MASSIVELY IMPORTANT.
Don't wake up after ten years to find out you've been
allowing your emotions to brainwash you and hold
you back with women and with life.