How To Get Women To Date You

A Question From A Reader

Hey Joseph,

I was reading the Art of Approaching, under
the online openers. And the one where you
send an email saying how you're good looking,
funny, etc then modest, I used that on a girl
and she responded very well to it. But since
then its been very ho-hum. I can't get to
meeting her. All I got is her AIM screen name.
But I don't know how to take it to the next
step. I know that I have to meet her if I want
anything to happen, but I don't know how it
should be done. I need your help.

- Stephen



MY RESPONSE:

Hi Stephen,

First of all -- of COURSE that email got a
great response! That's one of my patented
internet dating techniques.

(You know I'd never share something with you
that DOESN'T work!)

But you seem to be running into a common
problem that most guys who are dating on the
internet eventually run into...

THE TRANSITION!

You know, the part where you move from online
to offline.

In a way, it's really no different from setting
up a date after meeting a woman in the real
world.

See, when it comes to first contact, be it
email, telephone, or a cold approach, you
should always be thinking of one thing...

The Date!

Get her to agree to meet with you. Period.

Until that happens, it isn't real. She's
either not serious or not interested until
she commits to a date.

When it comes to email, the trick is to get
her on the phone as soon as possible. You
could say something like:

"Hey, great. You're a real person. Now
that we've established that, let's talk.
This email thing is for the birds. You
can call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. But try to
call before 10, because that's when my
mom makes me go to sleep. =)

If you're comfortable with it, you can give
me your number and make me do all the dirty
work.

Talk soon,

(your name here)"

Once you get her on the phone and you're
able to establish some rapport, then you
can set up a date to meet.

Make it something low-pressure so she'll
feel comfortable. Something like getting
coffee or a drink. This will give you two
a chance to get to know each other and see
if it's worth going forward.

The same is true when meeting a girl in
person.

Lots of guys like to try and go for the phone
number right away.

But why?

I look at the phone number as a "last resort."

This is because you want to get her to go
out with you AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

If she's up for it, take her out right then
and there. Ask her if she's got time for
a quick cup of coffee.

If not, try and set up a date right there.
Ask her if she's free the next night or
that very weekend.

Once the date is set up, then exchange your
numbers.

Or, if she's not immediately available, THEN
ask her for her number and try calling to
set up the date.

Remember: Move fast and with purpose.

Until she goes out with you, she's not really
committed to having a romantic encounter.

The WORST thing you can do is hesitate and
draw out asking her to meet you again.

Lots of girls will begin to wonder if you're
really interested if you don't ask her out.
So don't wait. Seize the opportunity when
you have the chance.