by James Smith
Once again I picked this one up from the world of sales and it seems to work extremely well with women.
In sales, when I started, I would talk about the product or service and then say, "So would you like to buy?"
This, to me, implies a position of weakness because it means there is a possibility that they would not, and you are admitting that possibility by asking.
What I did a few times by accident is I said, "I believe that this product/service would greatly benefit you because........" without asking for the order.
My sales and success went up greatly simply by telling people what I thought, and leaving it up to them to act. And act they did.
So I thought how about with women. In the past I would ask them if they would go out with me, or if they would give me their number, or that I wanted to see them. I was successful but not to the extent I would have liked to have been. And sometimes dates seemed forced or contrived. Not good.
As a result, I began telling women what I thought and wanted, while not asking them to act. This way they can see what I am saying while not feeling pressured to act. Paradoxically, this, in essence, frees them to act, as they do not feel pressured to do as I suggest.
If I wanted a number I would say, "It would be a good idea if I had your number so that I could call you and we could see each other."
If I wanted a date I would say, "It would be a good idea if we went for a drink and got to know each other better."
If I wanted to make love to a woman: "It would be a great idea if we went back to my place and made passionate love."
You get the idea here.
My success rate skyrocketed.
I have been able to get women that just wanted to be friends in the past to ask me out on romantic dates... just by me saying, "You know, it would be a great idea if we went out on a date and became romantically involved. I think we both would benefit from the experience greatly."
They ask me out.
With women I just met I say, "It would be a great idea if I had you number and called you, because I think it would be great if we saw each other for a coffee."
The numbers just fly.
A key point here is that you are not asking them to act and therefore you do not stand to be rejected, because you are only expressing your opinion. So in addition to being more effective you do not put yourself in a position to be shot down, as when you ask a woman out or ask for a number.
You can also use this when she wants to do something you do not want. Safe but strong way to get your point across.
I believe this works because by telling them what you believe you appear more convincing and strong in your belief, and they have little choice but to believe what you say. In order for them to dispute what you say they would have to form a strong negative image in their head of you. And if you have not given them a reason as to why they should have a negative image, they have little choice but to agree to you.
By asking them for something it's up to them to form a positive image in their heads surrounding you and what you suggest. This sometimes may be too much effort, or they may have the wrong image of you in the first place.
By telling them what you think and instilling in them a benefit, you are able to create the image you want and cause them to act upon that, ultimately giving you what you want.
Remember tell them what you think, and the benefit of what you suggest, and you'll fly.
Read more!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Meet More Women By Changing Your Routine
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by DJ de Florida
It has been said many times -- the number of potential dates increases with the number of women you meet. So you need to play the numbers game.
If you aren't meeting new women in your life, maybe you should consider changing your routine.
If you go to gym on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday... try Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday instead. If you always go straight from work to home, try making it a point to visit a store on the way home. If you eat lunch at the same place everyday, try eating at another place.
Place a personal ad. Go visit that bookstore you have never been to. Take a dancing class. Volunteer. Visit the library more.
The point is, if you don't make changes, things will stay the same....
Read more!
It has been said many times -- the number of potential dates increases with the number of women you meet. So you need to play the numbers game.
If you aren't meeting new women in your life, maybe you should consider changing your routine.
If you go to gym on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday... try Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday instead. If you always go straight from work to home, try making it a point to visit a store on the way home. If you eat lunch at the same place everyday, try eating at another place.
Place a personal ad. Go visit that bookstore you have never been to. Take a dancing class. Volunteer. Visit the library more.
The point is, if you don't make changes, things will stay the same....
Read more!
Why You Shouldn't Worship Your Girl, Even If You Think She's the Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread
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by Allen Thompson
Women have very little respect for men they can manipulate like a puppet or lead around by their noses... which, incidentally is quite a lot of men.
You must make a conscious effort to not give off this impression — even though she's the woman of your dreams and you'd do anything just to be near her.
You never want to give away your power in a relationship. And your power comes from your independence... or the impression of independence you present.
And there's a very good chance she will "test" you on this quality many times. Women do not fall for guys who put them up on some kind of pedestal and worship them as a goddess. That's way too much pressure for her to deal with on an ongoing basis.
Remember, she's looking for a man who is at least the equal to her... and preferably someone she can look up to and respect. So concentrate on not giving off any kind of submissive "vibes" and you'll be way ahead of most guys out there. And way way closer to getting the woman that you really want to really want you back.
Allen Thompson
djnewslet@aol.com
Copyright © 1999
P.S. Some women will tell you that women want to be worshiped and put up on some kind of pedestal. They say this because they've never experienced it themselves. But once they're put in that position, they'll realize it's not quite all it's cracked up to be.
Read more!
Women have very little respect for men they can manipulate like a puppet or lead around by their noses... which, incidentally is quite a lot of men.
You must make a conscious effort to not give off this impression — even though she's the woman of your dreams and you'd do anything just to be near her.
You never want to give away your power in a relationship. And your power comes from your independence... or the impression of independence you present.
And there's a very good chance she will "test" you on this quality many times. Women do not fall for guys who put them up on some kind of pedestal and worship them as a goddess. That's way too much pressure for her to deal with on an ongoing basis.
Remember, she's looking for a man who is at least the equal to her... and preferably someone she can look up to and respect. So concentrate on not giving off any kind of submissive "vibes" and you'll be way ahead of most guys out there. And way way closer to getting the woman that you really want to really want you back.
Allen Thompson
djnewslet@aol.com
Copyright © 1999
P.S. Some women will tell you that women want to be worshiped and put up on some kind of pedestal. They say this because they've never experienced it themselves. But once they're put in that position, they'll realize it's not quite all it's cracked up to be.
Read more!
The Power of Indifference
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by John
Have you noticed how when you have a girlfriend, suddenly other girls seem to find you that much more attractive? Watch your friends and see how girls' perspectives of them change when your friends get a girlfriend. Irrespective of a girlfriend or not, you are still the same person with the same interests and characteristics. What is it that changes about you with a girlfriend?
The answer is indifference.
Indifference to whether the girl likes you or not.
In order to really be successful with women, you have to be indifferent. You have to give up your attachment to women. This doesn't mean that you have to stop liking women or pursuing them. You shouldn't give up your goals, and you definitely shouldn't give up your desires. What you should do is remove your attachment to the outcome.
This is a really influential thing to do. When you remove your attachment to the outcome, joining your true desire with indifference at the same time, you will be able to be successful with any girl that you wish.
Concern with the outcome is based on your ego – it is fear and insecurity, and the need for security and control. The ideal outcome of the girl liking you, or of you getting action, might provide your ego with a sense of worth for a short time, but it is only passing ... it will come and go. This can create anxiety, as your ego needs further reestablishment and proof that it is triumphant, producing a down-ward spiral.
Attachment is based on fear and insecurity because the attachment is always to results. Indifference, however, is superior because with indifference you have the freedom to create new and better opportunities. Your interactions with women are more spontaneous and fun.
Without indifference, we become prisoners of our current situation. We are more worried about messing up where we are with the girl, or worried that the girl will think less of us, than looking forward to the positive side of what might happen.
Most guys look for the security of a girl who likes them. They say "When I have a hot girlfriend, then I'll be alright. I'll know that I can get hot women and not have to worry about women in the future." But it never works out like that ... ever!
You can spend a lifetime looking for that security and never find it. Attachment to getting women to like you will always create more insecurity. Sometimes, the people who look like they have the most girlfriends are the most insecure, and they have to work the hardest to ensure that they don't lose any of them, and don't enjoy the benefits.
You don't want to end up becoming a victim of your past memories, with the highlight in your life being going over the way that you used to be, of how you used to be able to get any girl, of how all the women used to love you. If you can be truly indifferent to the outcome, you can step into the present moment and enjoy life the way it is. You can take pleasure from all the beautiful women around you. It means that in every moment when you are with a woman, you will experience excitement, adventure and mystery.
Being indifferent doesn't mean that you shouldn't pursue women. You should still go for girls that you think are beautiful and fun. You should still look to try to get their number, or take them out for a drink, or have a good time with them. However, between now and you getting the girl's number, there are still multiple possibilities. At any moment, a more beautiful girl could come along, you could find that you don't actually like the girl, or you could be introduced to another girl who would be ideal for you. With indifference, you can change direction at any moment if you find someone more exciting. Being indifferent also means that you are less likely to force solutions and are more likely to see opportunities.
If someone isn't interested in you, and you try to force them to be interested, you'll only push them further away. However, if you are indifferent to the girl's interest, but would still like to go for a drink with her, you'll wait until the timing is right for her and the opportunity is available.
There are loads of reasons why indifference works. When indifferent to a girl, you are more confident and funny. You give off a positive vibe. You provide the girl with a challenge. All of these traits are magic by themselves. But rather than trying to work on each aspect individually, if you can become indifferent, you create a synergy of all the positive traits of a Don Juan working together.
With a mind-set of indifference, you can be successful with any girl. Work on being indifferent and a new world will open its doors to you!
If you are interested, you'll find a product that could help you to be more indifferent at www.charmenhance.com.
Read more!
Have you noticed how when you have a girlfriend, suddenly other girls seem to find you that much more attractive? Watch your friends and see how girls' perspectives of them change when your friends get a girlfriend. Irrespective of a girlfriend or not, you are still the same person with the same interests and characteristics. What is it that changes about you with a girlfriend?
The answer is indifference.
Indifference to whether the girl likes you or not.
In order to really be successful with women, you have to be indifferent. You have to give up your attachment to women. This doesn't mean that you have to stop liking women or pursuing them. You shouldn't give up your goals, and you definitely shouldn't give up your desires. What you should do is remove your attachment to the outcome.
This is a really influential thing to do. When you remove your attachment to the outcome, joining your true desire with indifference at the same time, you will be able to be successful with any girl that you wish.
Concern with the outcome is based on your ego – it is fear and insecurity, and the need for security and control. The ideal outcome of the girl liking you, or of you getting action, might provide your ego with a sense of worth for a short time, but it is only passing ... it will come and go. This can create anxiety, as your ego needs further reestablishment and proof that it is triumphant, producing a down-ward spiral.
Attachment is based on fear and insecurity because the attachment is always to results. Indifference, however, is superior because with indifference you have the freedom to create new and better opportunities. Your interactions with women are more spontaneous and fun.
Without indifference, we become prisoners of our current situation. We are more worried about messing up where we are with the girl, or worried that the girl will think less of us, than looking forward to the positive side of what might happen.
Most guys look for the security of a girl who likes them. They say "When I have a hot girlfriend, then I'll be alright. I'll know that I can get hot women and not have to worry about women in the future." But it never works out like that ... ever!
You can spend a lifetime looking for that security and never find it. Attachment to getting women to like you will always create more insecurity. Sometimes, the people who look like they have the most girlfriends are the most insecure, and they have to work the hardest to ensure that they don't lose any of them, and don't enjoy the benefits.
You don't want to end up becoming a victim of your past memories, with the highlight in your life being going over the way that you used to be, of how you used to be able to get any girl, of how all the women used to love you. If you can be truly indifferent to the outcome, you can step into the present moment and enjoy life the way it is. You can take pleasure from all the beautiful women around you. It means that in every moment when you are with a woman, you will experience excitement, adventure and mystery.
Being indifferent doesn't mean that you shouldn't pursue women. You should still go for girls that you think are beautiful and fun. You should still look to try to get their number, or take them out for a drink, or have a good time with them. However, between now and you getting the girl's number, there are still multiple possibilities. At any moment, a more beautiful girl could come along, you could find that you don't actually like the girl, or you could be introduced to another girl who would be ideal for you. With indifference, you can change direction at any moment if you find someone more exciting. Being indifferent also means that you are less likely to force solutions and are more likely to see opportunities.
If someone isn't interested in you, and you try to force them to be interested, you'll only push them further away. However, if you are indifferent to the girl's interest, but would still like to go for a drink with her, you'll wait until the timing is right for her and the opportunity is available.
There are loads of reasons why indifference works. When indifferent to a girl, you are more confident and funny. You give off a positive vibe. You provide the girl with a challenge. All of these traits are magic by themselves. But rather than trying to work on each aspect individually, if you can become indifferent, you create a synergy of all the positive traits of a Don Juan working together.
With a mind-set of indifference, you can be successful with any girl. Work on being indifferent and a new world will open its doors to you!
If you are interested, you'll find a product that could help you to be more indifferent at www.charmenhance.com.
Read more!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Reject Me Please
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by Dreadcor
Okay, here's a game you need to try with your friends.
You all need to go to a town you know you will not go back and visit, and go to a club or bar there. The objective of the game is to get turned down at least 5 times. You must remain at the club/bar until each person has been rejected 5 times. The last person to do it has to buy a round of drinks for all his buddies.
The idea behind this is two-fold.
The first is to help you to realize that rejection really ain't that bad, especially when you know that you're TRYING to get rejected. Also, you just might be surprised at how hard it really is to get rejected, because the women often respond POSITIVELY, even when you act like an idiot on purpose.
I've done this with some of my friends before, and it actually can be a lot of fun. It becomes even more fun the more drunk you become. The best part is when a woman actually starts responding in a positive way, and you have to stop the conversation and move on because you still need to get rejected by 2 or 3 more women.
It also becomes funny when the game starts to get close at the end and everyone starts acting like total jack a$$es in the effort to get rejected more rapidly.
Read more!
Okay, here's a game you need to try with your friends.
You all need to go to a town you know you will not go back and visit, and go to a club or bar there. The objective of the game is to get turned down at least 5 times. You must remain at the club/bar until each person has been rejected 5 times. The last person to do it has to buy a round of drinks for all his buddies.
The idea behind this is two-fold.
The first is to help you to realize that rejection really ain't that bad, especially when you know that you're TRYING to get rejected. Also, you just might be surprised at how hard it really is to get rejected, because the women often respond POSITIVELY, even when you act like an idiot on purpose.
I've done this with some of my friends before, and it actually can be a lot of fun. It becomes even more fun the more drunk you become. The best part is when a woman actually starts responding in a positive way, and you have to stop the conversation and move on because you still need to get rejected by 2 or 3 more women.
It also becomes funny when the game starts to get close at the end and everyone starts acting like total jack a$$es in the effort to get rejected more rapidly.
Read more!
Where to Meet Women
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y SamePendo
Where do you meet women?
Where do you usually go?
Both should match.
You are a great person, with great hobbies, habits. You go to great places, so should she.
Ask most guys where they meet women -- that's where their main problem is. They go meet women in places they simply don't like.
First off, they don't know how to approach women, and over that, they don't really have a possibility of liking those women they approach. To meet a woman you like, you must first put a mirror in front of you... who are you? What do YOU like?
To go someplace to meet women, you must first like that place, so that you find people who like that place too. Why? Because then you have one big thing in common.
Why would you go to meet women in a place you don't like? That's the stupidest thing you can do. As stupid as getting together with someone you don't like.
What do you like? Sports? Soccer? Meet women at soccer class or related events. Do you love the gym? Meet her at the gym, or yoga class, or whatever. Just be ready to approach women.
Keep in mind you'll find bitchy women everywhere. Disco, Yoga Class, Gym, Library, Concert, Club, Bar, School, Park, Mall... wherever you look, there WILL be un-available and un-wanted women (lesbians, bitchy women, psychos)... it's simply a fact.
The bright side is that there ARE women (women worth your time), anywhere, everywhere. Just remember to be ready to approach these women.
This leads us to answer a question that is very, very frequently asked... Where to meet women?
Well, meet women at the places you like to go. If you don't go out, start going out. I'm not talking about clubs (I personally don't like them)... I'm talking about ANY place you want to go. Just go out. Wherever you look, there ARE women, anywhere, everywhere.
To sum it up:
1. Stop being a wuss.
2. Know who you are and what you like.
3. Do those things you like, and go where you like to go.
4. In places where you go and do things you like, *Be ready to meet women!*
5. Chill. Relax. You ARE The Man.
Read more!
Where do you meet women?
Where do you usually go?
Both should match.
You are a great person, with great hobbies, habits. You go to great places, so should she.
Ask most guys where they meet women -- that's where their main problem is. They go meet women in places they simply don't like.
First off, they don't know how to approach women, and over that, they don't really have a possibility of liking those women they approach. To meet a woman you like, you must first put a mirror in front of you... who are you? What do YOU like?
To go someplace to meet women, you must first like that place, so that you find people who like that place too. Why? Because then you have one big thing in common.
Why would you go to meet women in a place you don't like? That's the stupidest thing you can do. As stupid as getting together with someone you don't like.
What do you like? Sports? Soccer? Meet women at soccer class or related events. Do you love the gym? Meet her at the gym, or yoga class, or whatever. Just be ready to approach women.
Keep in mind you'll find bitchy women everywhere. Disco, Yoga Class, Gym, Library, Concert, Club, Bar, School, Park, Mall... wherever you look, there WILL be un-available and un-wanted women (lesbians, bitchy women, psychos)... it's simply a fact.
The bright side is that there ARE women (women worth your time), anywhere, everywhere. Just remember to be ready to approach these women.
This leads us to answer a question that is very, very frequently asked... Where to meet women?
Well, meet women at the places you like to go. If you don't go out, start going out. I'm not talking about clubs (I personally don't like them)... I'm talking about ANY place you want to go. Just go out. Wherever you look, there ARE women, anywhere, everywhere.
To sum it up:
1. Stop being a wuss.
2. Know who you are and what you like.
3. Do those things you like, and go where you like to go.
4. In places where you go and do things you like, *Be ready to meet women!*
5. Chill. Relax. You ARE The Man.
Read more!
Always Chat Up Salesgirls by Rubirosa
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by Rubirosa
Every man who aspires to be a Don Juan should make it a point to always---always!---make light conversation with female salespeople, cashiers, "baristas", and other retail service workers.
I reluctantly exclude waitresses and bartenders from this list, because a) they are usually so busy that even friendly small talk is annoying to them, and b) they are hit on so often that they have developed an immunity to anything resembling an advance.
For one thing, chatting up salesgirls and cashiers helps to create the habit of talking to women, which leads to learning more about women and becoming more comfortable in their presence.
The fact that the particular cashier may be half your age and, demographically speaking, have little in common with you is irrelevant. She is a woman. She may be a unique human being in a million different ways, but fundamentally she thinks likes a woman and reacts like a woman. You can learn a lot from her.
Secondly, your conversational efforts will usually be appreciated and will make you a more memorable customer. This is particularly useful in places like coffee or sandwich shops, juice bars, newsstands, convenience stores, or anywhere else that you are likely to become a "regular".
What you want is to become the kind of customer whose arrival immediately brings smiles to the workers' faces. Before long, THEY will initiate the conversation. In addition, other customers pick up on the fact that the staff likes you; you become, in effect, "validated".
Your attitude should not be that you're trying to pick up the salesgirl, but to simply acknowledge her in a way that is friendly and appropriate. Over time, you may well develop a romantic relationship with her, or with someone she wants you to meet, but that's not your immediate objective.
Let me give you some real-life examples.
Several times a week, I go to a locally-owned coffee shop that makes some of the best espresso I have ever had. In fact, it's so good, I drive past two Starbuck's to get there.
My second or third time there, I said to the barista (young, female): "I'd like one of your famous double espressos". She looked at me with a little smile and said, "Are we really so famous?" "Well, if you're not, you should be. Your espresso is way better than Starbuck's".
The next day, the barista greeted me with, "Back for another 'famous' double espresso?" After that, we usually exchanged a little chit-chat each time.
As I became more of a regular, one barista would introduce me to another, and before long I had a friendly relationship with the whole crew. Once a certain familiarity was established, it seemed normal and appropriate to make personal comments and give compliments ("Hey, I like your new haircut, Julie. It looks great short!").
Although I have never dated any of the baristas, my relationship with them indirectly led to a romance with another customer. I was asking "Julie" one day what had happened to "Francine", a barista who had seemingly disappeared overnight. "Oh, she got some bad news from her parents back in Michigan. Her father had a stroke two weeks ago, and Francine felt she had to go home and help out..."
We commiserated a bit about Francine's plight, and then I sat down to drink my espresso and read the paper.
Almost immediately, a good-looking woman at an adjacent table said, "Excuse me, but were you talking about that young woman with the long black hair? I was wondering about her, too---I always liked it when she waited on me".
We kept talking (you should ALWAYS keep the conversation going, if you're interested in the woman), and a few minutes later we were sitting at the same table, and the next night I was enjoying a wonderful dinner at her house.
The point is that frequent interaction with women---no matter how superficial---is a good thing. You never know where it may lead, and at the very least it keeps you in practice and boosts your self-confidence.
Rubirosa
tolife1@cox.net
Read more!
Every man who aspires to be a Don Juan should make it a point to always---always!---make light conversation with female salespeople, cashiers, "baristas", and other retail service workers.
I reluctantly exclude waitresses and bartenders from this list, because a) they are usually so busy that even friendly small talk is annoying to them, and b) they are hit on so often that they have developed an immunity to anything resembling an advance.
For one thing, chatting up salesgirls and cashiers helps to create the habit of talking to women, which leads to learning more about women and becoming more comfortable in their presence.
The fact that the particular cashier may be half your age and, demographically speaking, have little in common with you is irrelevant. She is a woman. She may be a unique human being in a million different ways, but fundamentally she thinks likes a woman and reacts like a woman. You can learn a lot from her.
Secondly, your conversational efforts will usually be appreciated and will make you a more memorable customer. This is particularly useful in places like coffee or sandwich shops, juice bars, newsstands, convenience stores, or anywhere else that you are likely to become a "regular".
What you want is to become the kind of customer whose arrival immediately brings smiles to the workers' faces. Before long, THEY will initiate the conversation. In addition, other customers pick up on the fact that the staff likes you; you become, in effect, "validated".
Your attitude should not be that you're trying to pick up the salesgirl, but to simply acknowledge her in a way that is friendly and appropriate. Over time, you may well develop a romantic relationship with her, or with someone she wants you to meet, but that's not your immediate objective.
Let me give you some real-life examples.
Several times a week, I go to a locally-owned coffee shop that makes some of the best espresso I have ever had. In fact, it's so good, I drive past two Starbuck's to get there.
My second or third time there, I said to the barista (young, female): "I'd like one of your famous double espressos". She looked at me with a little smile and said, "Are we really so famous?" "Well, if you're not, you should be. Your espresso is way better than Starbuck's".
The next day, the barista greeted me with, "Back for another 'famous' double espresso?" After that, we usually exchanged a little chit-chat each time.
As I became more of a regular, one barista would introduce me to another, and before long I had a friendly relationship with the whole crew. Once a certain familiarity was established, it seemed normal and appropriate to make personal comments and give compliments ("Hey, I like your new haircut, Julie. It looks great short!").
Although I have never dated any of the baristas, my relationship with them indirectly led to a romance with another customer. I was asking "Julie" one day what had happened to "Francine", a barista who had seemingly disappeared overnight. "Oh, she got some bad news from her parents back in Michigan. Her father had a stroke two weeks ago, and Francine felt she had to go home and help out..."
We commiserated a bit about Francine's plight, and then I sat down to drink my espresso and read the paper.
Almost immediately, a good-looking woman at an adjacent table said, "Excuse me, but were you talking about that young woman with the long black hair? I was wondering about her, too---I always liked it when she waited on me".
We kept talking (you should ALWAYS keep the conversation going, if you're interested in the woman), and a few minutes later we were sitting at the same table, and the next night I was enjoying a wonderful dinner at her house.
The point is that frequent interaction with women---no matter how superficial---is a good thing. You never know where it may lead, and at the very least it keeps you in practice and boosts your self-confidence.
Rubirosa
tolife1@cox.net
Read more!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
She Wants You to Approach Her
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by James Smith
I would like to share a great confidence booster tip from my own experience of life and women.
Out of all the women that I ever dated or picked up, they all told me that either shortly before or right at the time when I approached them, they had already decided that they wanted to talk to me and would be receptive to my overtures. They were just too scared to approach me first for the fear of being rejected by me, so they did nothing but hoped that I would talk to them or ask them out.
This indicates to me that a woman very quickly decides your place in her life. If she is interested, then she will be receptive to your approach. Do not waste any time by waiting. Go for her number and a date right away for she will respond quickly.
If she is not interested, she will also let you know and you can quickly move on to your next target without wasting time and effort.
You always want to be exploring the extent of her attraction for you by making moves on her to see how she responds. Most women are not likely to let you know of their attraction to you first for the great fear of rejection that most of them have. If they are attracted to you they will reveal it to you by responding to your advances.
The most important thing to remember is test her levels of attraction by making moves, but make sure that you always leave her with a way out so as not to make her feel cornered or pressured. Hope this helps.
Read more!
I would like to share a great confidence booster tip from my own experience of life and women.
Out of all the women that I ever dated or picked up, they all told me that either shortly before or right at the time when I approached them, they had already decided that they wanted to talk to me and would be receptive to my overtures. They were just too scared to approach me first for the fear of being rejected by me, so they did nothing but hoped that I would talk to them or ask them out.
This indicates to me that a woman very quickly decides your place in her life. If she is interested, then she will be receptive to your approach. Do not waste any time by waiting. Go for her number and a date right away for she will respond quickly.
If she is not interested, she will also let you know and you can quickly move on to your next target without wasting time and effort.
You always want to be exploring the extent of her attraction for you by making moves on her to see how she responds. Most women are not likely to let you know of their attraction to you first for the great fear of rejection that most of them have. If they are attracted to you they will reveal it to you by responding to your advances.
The most important thing to remember is test her levels of attraction by making moves, but make sure that you always leave her with a way out so as not to make her feel cornered or pressured. Hope this helps.
Read more!
Do This to Be What Ladies Respect and Men Envy
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Those of you who are avid baseball fans, students of law, or both, are probably familiar with the name Kennesaw Mountain Landis. He was baseball's first commissioner, and before that a federal judge.
However, long before those pursuits, he was an amateur athlete, and the sport he excelled at was bicycle riding.
Landis was not the fastest or the strongest bike racer, but he more than compensated for his average athletic ability with psychology.
On one occasion, before a big race in a strange town, Landis purchased twenty medals and pinned them to his racing uniform. He arrived at the race already looking like a repeat champion, and so completely intimidated his rivals that he won the race.
You might not be the strongest, or the slimmest, or the best-looking gentleman in any given situation, at any given moment. But if you enter a room with the attitude that you are the best, you will be treated as such.
This neither means pinning medals to your clothes nor being condescending to others. It simply means conveying the attitude of a noble and successful winner.
And that, my brothers, is what the ladies will respect and the men will envy.
Read more!
However, long before those pursuits, he was an amateur athlete, and the sport he excelled at was bicycle riding.
Landis was not the fastest or the strongest bike racer, but he more than compensated for his average athletic ability with psychology.
On one occasion, before a big race in a strange town, Landis purchased twenty medals and pinned them to his racing uniform. He arrived at the race already looking like a repeat champion, and so completely intimidated his rivals that he won the race.
You might not be the strongest, or the slimmest, or the best-looking gentleman in any given situation, at any given moment. But if you enter a room with the attitude that you are the best, you will be treated as such.
This neither means pinning medals to your clothes nor being condescending to others. It simply means conveying the attitude of a noble and successful winner.
And that, my brothers, is what the ladies will respect and the men will envy.
Read more!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The Throw Away Compliment
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by Chufow
I just recently began reading your articles and tips and really enjoy them. Having seen some of the questions other readers ask, and some of the problems they have with "the ladies," I thought I'd share something that has worked for me time after time.
After all, guys, they outnumber us, they actually control most of the world's wealth (get divorced and see why), and they're generally smarter than us (at least more complicated, sometimes more clever, and almost always more subtle). So, if we're going to win "the game" and get "the prize," we have to help each other.
At least one of the reasons all of us DJ's like the ladies is because they're so fascinating, so intriguing. I find them so much more complex and therefore more interesting to spend time with than with my buddies. Oh, of course, I can do, and sometimes really enjoy, the "guy" things with my male friends, but I generally much prefer the company of the ladies.
I'm an 'older' DJ who has lived and traveled all over the world. My current lady friends range in age from mid-50's to mid-20's. And, what I'm going to share with you here works almost anywhere, regardless of the culture, or the country, and usually regardless of the setting.
It works because women are intriguing creatures and they therefore LOVE things that are, in and of themselves, intriguing. In sales parlance, you might call this technique a "hook."
It's what I call the "throw away compliment," and it can be particularly useful for you more shy and less self-confident DJ's. Why? Because it reduces that absolutely awful risk of initial rejection to almost zero, while at the same time leaving a good impression with, and usually some interest on the part of, the lady.
Caution, however, because use of this technique often requires some patience and a little self-discipline. It CAN work during the same time you first meet the lady in question but, since it's a "throw away" technique, it often works to your advantage the NEXT time you see her. Therefore, you should use it when you have the reasonable expectation that you'll see her again, maybe at the same bar or restaurant or hotel lobby, either later in the day or the next day or the next week.
That's where the patience and self-discipline I mentioned earlier comes in. In other words, it CAN but usually DOESN'T work if what you're after is that one night stand pickup for the same evening.
So, you're in a social setting where you have time to observe the crowd and you notice a lady that interests you. Watch her for a few moments and notice something about her that you can compliment.
Pick a time when you can approach her and she's not distracted by somebody or something else, like when the band takes a break or she's not busy talking with someone else or there's some other lull in the pace of whatever's going on. This is because what you're going to do is brief and you want her to be able to really focus on you and what you say, so she will remember it and, therefore, you.
Walk up to her, smile, and say something like this, "Excuse me. My name's Bob (or whatever). I couldn't help noticing your (dancing, outfit, smile, eyes, etc.) and I just wanted to let you know that."
Wait only until she looks at you, maybe smiles and thanks you for the compliment, then say something about her having a good day or a good evening and WALK AWAY.
In two minutes or less, you have minimized any chance of rejection for yourself, let her know you're interested in her, made her notice you, made her feel good about something about herself, left a lingering impression, and been in total control of the situation (which women really like, despite what they might say or how they may act sometimes).
Nine out of ten times, she will at least be -- what did I say? -- INTRIGUED. Why? Because you didn't "hit" on her like other guys do (at least, she won't THINK you did anyway -- although you really did exactly that). Because you didn't ASK for anything -- you just GAVE her a compliment. And because YOU cut off the contact (whereas most women, especially the really attractive ones, are used to having to find a way to break off contact with the guy).
All of these things will make you appear self-confident, different from guys who use this or that pickup line, "safe" to talk to, maybe interesting to be with and therefore -- I hate to say it again but, yes -- intriguing.
If you were getting any eye contact earlier and this technique worked with her, the eye contact should now increase. If you weren't getting any before and you do after using the "throw away compliment," that's another sign that it worked with her. In either case, follow up as you think best.
Or, if you're pretty sure you'll see her again, later that day or that evening or next week, don't follow up at all. Let her wait until the next time. That will make you even more ... No, I just can't say it again.
Good luck in your quest for the best.
Chufow
chufow@aol.com
Read more!
I just recently began reading your articles and tips and really enjoy them. Having seen some of the questions other readers ask, and some of the problems they have with "the ladies," I thought I'd share something that has worked for me time after time.
After all, guys, they outnumber us, they actually control most of the world's wealth (get divorced and see why), and they're generally smarter than us (at least more complicated, sometimes more clever, and almost always more subtle). So, if we're going to win "the game" and get "the prize," we have to help each other.
At least one of the reasons all of us DJ's like the ladies is because they're so fascinating, so intriguing. I find them so much more complex and therefore more interesting to spend time with than with my buddies. Oh, of course, I can do, and sometimes really enjoy, the "guy" things with my male friends, but I generally much prefer the company of the ladies.
I'm an 'older' DJ who has lived and traveled all over the world. My current lady friends range in age from mid-50's to mid-20's. And, what I'm going to share with you here works almost anywhere, regardless of the culture, or the country, and usually regardless of the setting.
It works because women are intriguing creatures and they therefore LOVE things that are, in and of themselves, intriguing. In sales parlance, you might call this technique a "hook."
It's what I call the "throw away compliment," and it can be particularly useful for you more shy and less self-confident DJ's. Why? Because it reduces that absolutely awful risk of initial rejection to almost zero, while at the same time leaving a good impression with, and usually some interest on the part of, the lady.
Caution, however, because use of this technique often requires some patience and a little self-discipline. It CAN work during the same time you first meet the lady in question but, since it's a "throw away" technique, it often works to your advantage the NEXT time you see her. Therefore, you should use it when you have the reasonable expectation that you'll see her again, maybe at the same bar or restaurant or hotel lobby, either later in the day or the next day or the next week.
That's where the patience and self-discipline I mentioned earlier comes in. In other words, it CAN but usually DOESN'T work if what you're after is that one night stand pickup for the same evening.
So, you're in a social setting where you have time to observe the crowd and you notice a lady that interests you. Watch her for a few moments and notice something about her that you can compliment.
Pick a time when you can approach her and she's not distracted by somebody or something else, like when the band takes a break or she's not busy talking with someone else or there's some other lull in the pace of whatever's going on. This is because what you're going to do is brief and you want her to be able to really focus on you and what you say, so she will remember it and, therefore, you.
Walk up to her, smile, and say something like this, "Excuse me. My name's Bob (or whatever). I couldn't help noticing your (dancing, outfit, smile, eyes, etc.) and I just wanted to let you know that."
Wait only until she looks at you, maybe smiles and thanks you for the compliment, then say something about her having a good day or a good evening and WALK AWAY.
In two minutes or less, you have minimized any chance of rejection for yourself, let her know you're interested in her, made her notice you, made her feel good about something about herself, left a lingering impression, and been in total control of the situation (which women really like, despite what they might say or how they may act sometimes).
Nine out of ten times, she will at least be -- what did I say? -- INTRIGUED. Why? Because you didn't "hit" on her like other guys do (at least, she won't THINK you did anyway -- although you really did exactly that). Because you didn't ASK for anything -- you just GAVE her a compliment. And because YOU cut off the contact (whereas most women, especially the really attractive ones, are used to having to find a way to break off contact with the guy).
All of these things will make you appear self-confident, different from guys who use this or that pickup line, "safe" to talk to, maybe interesting to be with and therefore -- I hate to say it again but, yes -- intriguing.
If you were getting any eye contact earlier and this technique worked with her, the eye contact should now increase. If you weren't getting any before and you do after using the "throw away compliment," that's another sign that it worked with her. In either case, follow up as you think best.
Or, if you're pretty sure you'll see her again, later that day or that evening or next week, don't follow up at all. Let her wait until the next time. That will make you even more ... No, I just can't say it again.
Good luck in your quest for the best.
Chufow
chufow@aol.com
Read more!
Visualization
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by Anonymous
This Don Juan tip goes out to all of the guys who become extremely nervous when they are about to approach a woman and initially talk to her, break the ice, ask for her phone number, ask her out on a date, etc...
Boy, believe me, I know that feeling (you get extremely nervous and your heart beats really fast, and then you make stupid mistakes because you are so nervous).
How can you decrease all of this anxiety/nervousness?
Well, one very effective technique that a lot of successful people use is called visualization. Visualization is just imagining an event occurring in your head. It is nothing more than daydreaming. You used to do this when you were very young.
To become less nervous, just visualize or daydream that you are approaching an attractive looking woman, and you are relaxed and stress free.
The more often you do this, the faster you will see the great results you want. You see, the amazing fact is that your mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined!
I successfully used this method to overcome my shyness, extreme anxiety towards public speaking, and of course, my extreme anxiety when it came to approaching a beautiful looking woman.
Read more!
This Don Juan tip goes out to all of the guys who become extremely nervous when they are about to approach a woman and initially talk to her, break the ice, ask for her phone number, ask her out on a date, etc...
Boy, believe me, I know that feeling (you get extremely nervous and your heart beats really fast, and then you make stupid mistakes because you are so nervous).
How can you decrease all of this anxiety/nervousness?
Well, one very effective technique that a lot of successful people use is called visualization. Visualization is just imagining an event occurring in your head. It is nothing more than daydreaming. You used to do this when you were very young.
To become less nervous, just visualize or daydream that you are approaching an attractive looking woman, and you are relaxed and stress free.
The more often you do this, the faster you will see the great results you want. You see, the amazing fact is that your mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined!
I successfully used this method to overcome my shyness, extreme anxiety towards public speaking, and of course, my extreme anxiety when it came to approaching a beautiful looking woman.
Read more!
Practice with Beautiful Women
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by Anonymous
One thing I've discovered is that beautiful women come with a vast variety of personalities. Some are smart, funny, sweet and fun to be with. Others are bitchy, high-maintenance, prima donnas. Still others, to be truthfully blunt, are annoying dorks.
The only way to find these things out is by talking to them. The only way to talk to them is through practice, practice, and more practice.
The place to practice is NOT in the bar/club atmosphere where everybody's got their full force shields up. They're amped and ready to be on the defensive, where even the sweetest and nicest of them will have their game face on.
It's a lot easier to get a hit in batting practice than in front of a sold out crowd at the World Series.
As a recovering sufferer of social anxiety who is just now getting over the horrible trauma inflicted by high school, I get my practice rounds in with beautiful women who are guaranteed to talk to me.
I'm talking about car show spokespersons, retail store employees, and bartenders.
I went to one car show and it seemed like every car manufacturer had a really hot, professionally dressed babe available for people to talk to. What you need to keep in mind is that these women are hired because of their looks AND their outgoing personalities. So what I did was go up to each and every one of them and ask them the same question over and over again. "What happens to all these cars after the show? Do they go on the road to another show or do they go to the local dealerships?"
Over and over again I asked that question. With every babe I went up to, it just got easier and easier and they were all more than willing to talk to me.
Another good practice place is a men's clothing store with women employees. A lot of them get some kind of commission or sales credit if they help you, so they suck up shamelessly. A lot of times I'll ask them for their advice when I try things on.
Finally bartenders are often, not always, good because they're kissing everybody's ass trying to get good tips. I usually pretend that it's the first time at that bar/club and ask if that's the kind of music they always play.
Read more!
One thing I've discovered is that beautiful women come with a vast variety of personalities. Some are smart, funny, sweet and fun to be with. Others are bitchy, high-maintenance, prima donnas. Still others, to be truthfully blunt, are annoying dorks.
The only way to find these things out is by talking to them. The only way to talk to them is through practice, practice, and more practice.
The place to practice is NOT in the bar/club atmosphere where everybody's got their full force shields up. They're amped and ready to be on the defensive, where even the sweetest and nicest of them will have their game face on.
It's a lot easier to get a hit in batting practice than in front of a sold out crowd at the World Series.
As a recovering sufferer of social anxiety who is just now getting over the horrible trauma inflicted by high school, I get my practice rounds in with beautiful women who are guaranteed to talk to me.
I'm talking about car show spokespersons, retail store employees, and bartenders.
I went to one car show and it seemed like every car manufacturer had a really hot, professionally dressed babe available for people to talk to. What you need to keep in mind is that these women are hired because of their looks AND their outgoing personalities. So what I did was go up to each and every one of them and ask them the same question over and over again. "What happens to all these cars after the show? Do they go on the road to another show or do they go to the local dealerships?"
Over and over again I asked that question. With every babe I went up to, it just got easier and easier and they were all more than willing to talk to me.
Another good practice place is a men's clothing store with women employees. A lot of them get some kind of commission or sales credit if they help you, so they suck up shamelessly. A lot of times I'll ask them for their advice when I try things on.
Finally bartenders are often, not always, good because they're kissing everybody's ass trying to get good tips. I usually pretend that it's the first time at that bar/club and ask if that's the kind of music they always play.
Read more!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
The Value of Persistence
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by Paul
I am lucky enough to have a female friend who is married (and hot as hell). She recently told me an amazing story:
While at college in her 20s, she dated a dude for about a month. During one dinner he asked her to spend the night with him. She told him she wasn't looking for an intimate relationship. (She purposefully lied. Says she just couldn't say yes on the first time.)
The thing is, dude never asked again! They remained friends (lunch and study dates, only occasionally).
Her last night at college, they went out, and she got all dressed up, hoping to get laid. Being the "gentleman" he was, he took her to dinner. (She tells me she was thinking, "Sex me! Don't feed me!")
They parted ways with a simple kiss.
Now obviously if dude had persisted, he would've succeeded.
But I personally have also ignored my share of girls after getting blown off the first time.
Here's the kicker: I suggested to her that she must regret not getting a chance to bed this dude. She said if she had to do it again, she would do things exactly the same. To this day, she thinks dude is a loser for not asking again!
She assures me that girls do this all the time - say no when what they really mean is, "Yes, but I need to play hard-to-get before we can have sex." She says she isn't really sure why they do this either.
Also it seems hot girls will not initiate sex - even when they are craving it.
So DJs, take heed: Don't make the mistake of using rational thinking with women. They do not think like we do.
If they seem to be having a good time with you and you're sure they don't hate your personal guts, keep trying. If you gotta put her on the back burner and work on somebody else, do it and return later.
Only when you're positive you won't be gettin any, do you move on!
Read more!
I am lucky enough to have a female friend who is married (and hot as hell). She recently told me an amazing story:
While at college in her 20s, she dated a dude for about a month. During one dinner he asked her to spend the night with him. She told him she wasn't looking for an intimate relationship. (She purposefully lied. Says she just couldn't say yes on the first time.)
The thing is, dude never asked again! They remained friends (lunch and study dates, only occasionally).
Her last night at college, they went out, and she got all dressed up, hoping to get laid. Being the "gentleman" he was, he took her to dinner. (She tells me she was thinking, "Sex me! Don't feed me!")
They parted ways with a simple kiss.
Now obviously if dude had persisted, he would've succeeded.
But I personally have also ignored my share of girls after getting blown off the first time.
Here's the kicker: I suggested to her that she must regret not getting a chance to bed this dude. She said if she had to do it again, she would do things exactly the same. To this day, she thinks dude is a loser for not asking again!
She assures me that girls do this all the time - say no when what they really mean is, "Yes, but I need to play hard-to-get before we can have sex." She says she isn't really sure why they do this either.
Also it seems hot girls will not initiate sex - even when they are craving it.
So DJs, take heed: Don't make the mistake of using rational thinking with women. They do not think like we do.
If they seem to be having a good time with you and you're sure they don't hate your personal guts, keep trying. If you gotta put her on the back burner and work on somebody else, do it and return later.
Only when you're positive you won't be gettin any, do you move on!
Read more!
Why Me?
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by FJR
One of the techniques I learned as a professional salesman is the "Why did you buy from me?" question that drastically reduces cancellation rates and increases customer satisfaction.
The bottom line is after a deal is signed, right before you leave your new customer's office, you ask, "I was wondering, considering all the competitors you looked at, why did you finally buy from me?"
The guy will then go on about how great you are, how much you impressed him, and how comfortable he is doing business with you.
Since dating is really no different than selling (in dating the product you are selling is YOU), this same technique works very well.
During the first date, when you reach one of those uncomfortable silences that inevitably comes up at some point in the conversation, you simply look the girl in the eye and ask, "I was wondering, what was it that made you say yes when I asked you out?"
She'll then go into how attractive you are, how sexy, how intelligent, successful, well dressed, impressive, etc. She is answering all of her "why not" questions before she even gets to the point of asking herself, "Why not this guy?"
On a subconscious level she will feel more connected to you and feel like she really made the right decision by going out with you instead of some other guy.
I started using this on first dates and found that the rate of women not calling me back after the date has gone down significantly, and that the second, third, etc. dates will move more quickly into touching, making out, and ultimately sex.
Try it - it works!
Read more!
One of the techniques I learned as a professional salesman is the "Why did you buy from me?" question that drastically reduces cancellation rates and increases customer satisfaction.
The bottom line is after a deal is signed, right before you leave your new customer's office, you ask, "I was wondering, considering all the competitors you looked at, why did you finally buy from me?"
The guy will then go on about how great you are, how much you impressed him, and how comfortable he is doing business with you.
Since dating is really no different than selling (in dating the product you are selling is YOU), this same technique works very well.
During the first date, when you reach one of those uncomfortable silences that inevitably comes up at some point in the conversation, you simply look the girl in the eye and ask, "I was wondering, what was it that made you say yes when I asked you out?"
She'll then go into how attractive you are, how sexy, how intelligent, successful, well dressed, impressive, etc. She is answering all of her "why not" questions before she even gets to the point of asking herself, "Why not this guy?"
On a subconscious level she will feel more connected to you and feel like she really made the right decision by going out with you instead of some other guy.
I started using this on first dates and found that the rate of women not calling me back after the date has gone down significantly, and that the second, third, etc. dates will move more quickly into touching, making out, and ultimately sex.
Try it - it works!
Read more!
A Great Job For Meeting Women
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by Cinephile
To me, a good deal of the game is finding where the women are at.
Whether it be the club, bookstore, or garage sale, you got to be able to find them first before you can unleash the power of your game. Since most people spend at least 40 hours a week at work, obviously, finding a job where there are lots of ladies only helps.
So let me tell you about what I do.
I run movie theaters. They are fantastic places to meet women, either on the job or as patrons.
The main reason is obvious in that so many people enter. A busy theater will do 15,000 people in a day. Also, most films are youth oriented so that the majority of the women there are going to be under 30. Finally, people come to the movies to a have good time and are generally in a good mood, so therefore much more receptive to advances.
When I was an usher (a long time ago), it was so easy to start a conversation and get a number. Basically, I would just be friendly and say something lame like "So did you like the movie?" or "What are you going to see?" It was always fun to hit on the girls right in front of their boyfriends. Being an usher was great job in learning how to talk to people in that simple things like eye contact and tone of voice, make a huge difference in response.
It is even easier with your co workers.
Most theaters have fairly large staffs and a lot of turnover. So there are always new girls to choose from. The male managers are always desperate horndogs so they will hire the hottest girls who apply. (Ah, I love interviewing). Conversations are very easy, just start with something about work (usually, this place sucks) and then just work your way into something more personal.
While the pay sucks (like most jobs) there are definitely some advantages to working in a movie theater.
Read more!
To me, a good deal of the game is finding where the women are at.
Whether it be the club, bookstore, or garage sale, you got to be able to find them first before you can unleash the power of your game. Since most people spend at least 40 hours a week at work, obviously, finding a job where there are lots of ladies only helps.
So let me tell you about what I do.
I run movie theaters. They are fantastic places to meet women, either on the job or as patrons.
The main reason is obvious in that so many people enter. A busy theater will do 15,000 people in a day. Also, most films are youth oriented so that the majority of the women there are going to be under 30. Finally, people come to the movies to a have good time and are generally in a good mood, so therefore much more receptive to advances.
When I was an usher (a long time ago), it was so easy to start a conversation and get a number. Basically, I would just be friendly and say something lame like "So did you like the movie?" or "What are you going to see?" It was always fun to hit on the girls right in front of their boyfriends. Being an usher was great job in learning how to talk to people in that simple things like eye contact and tone of voice, make a huge difference in response.
It is even easier with your co workers.
Most theaters have fairly large staffs and a lot of turnover. So there are always new girls to choose from. The male managers are always desperate horndogs so they will hire the hottest girls who apply. (Ah, I love interviewing). Conversations are very easy, just start with something about work (usually, this place sucks) and then just work your way into something more personal.
While the pay sucks (like most jobs) there are definitely some advantages to working in a movie theater.
Read more!
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