by Matt
I've been reading the tips on this site for quite some time now. Something I have noticed about most of the articles is that their advice tends to talk about adding something to your personality or your technique.
Become a more humorous person, make more eye contact, be more aggressive and confident. Essentially they talk about adding traits to your personality that more closely resemble the traits of an Alpha Male.
What most people don't realize is that being an alpha male, being funny, happy and confident is a man's natural state. We are born with the ability to attract women; born with the ability to approach them and catch their attention and interest.
You wouldn't be here if your male ancestors didn't possess the ability to attract women, and those abilities have been handed down to you in your most basic building blocks. The reason that the average frustrated chump doesn't attract women is not there is something missing; it's that there is something covering up what's there.
The reason you don't come across as funny as you'd like to is because when something funny pops into your head, it's immediately squashed by some fear, fear that it will be taken the wrong way or that you'll look or sound stupid. Or you're tense and not paying attention to the moment, completely missing the fact that an opportunity to be funny has presented itself. Or you're so focused on making sure that you're doing everything right or so lost in the woman's presence that you miss the moment.
The reason that you don't naturally look people in the eye is because you're afraid of exposing them to the windows into your soul. Or you feel inadequate or less than them in some way. Or there is some deep rooted fear about yourself that you may not even be aware of.
The reason you can't just walk up to an unknown woman and strike up a conversation is because you're afraid of something; afraid she will react negatively, or how others will view you if she shoots you down. You're nervous and tense and deep down you know that when you're feeling this way, your probability of success is practically non-existent.
Notice a pattern here?
There is a fear of what others may think of you, a fear of failing to do the right thing or of doing the wrong thing. Fear and nervousness cover up who you really are.
Confidence is not something that can be attained through gaining things. Confidence is the absence of fear, the absence of worry. You need to drop these things and your natural confidence and personality will shine through.
The great news is that this is very easy. You don't have to conquer your fears. You don't even have to know where these fears come from or what is causing them. All you have to do is observe your fears, without judgment.
And the without judgment part is key here. Don't think about how the fear started; don't think about how stupid and irrational your fears are. Just observe them and yourself and how you are affected.
I want you to try something:
For the next several dozen times you see a woman you find attractive, whether you approach her or not; pay attention to yourself, the way you feel and the thoughts that are running through your head throughout the entire experience. Step back from yourself and watch yourself as if you are watching another person.
Don't think about what you "should" be thinking and feeling, observe what is, and stay in the moment. I promise that after many times of doing this a sense that your fear is a fabrication of your mind will start to take over.
Your fears will begin to have less of a hold on you; and they will begin to affect you and your actions less and less over time. Eventually your fears will completely disappear, all without any active effort to get rid of them.
Fear is a natural emotion and there is nothing wrong with it. The problem comes when you lend credence to your fears through thought and action. By not noticing your fears when they are happening, or by trying to suppress those fears through rationale or force, you are actually feeding them.
You cannot drop a fear if you don't know it's there and you can't drop a fear by force. You have to "see" the absurdity of them and they will go away by themselves.
Matt
wagnermatt13@yahoo.com
Read more!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
How to Seduce 1000 Girls
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by Paul
I know a guy who is a DJ at a local bar. I've known him for 15 years and he must have gone through over a 1000 chicks — 2 or 3 every week, and all very attractive.
He looks like a normal guy to me, not much money or anything, not particularly articulate, but he has so many chicks it's unbelievable!
I had occasion to ask him his secrets and observe him over the years. This is what I saw and heard:
He is always smiling at chicks — always. He says "I love women!" and I think he really does... meaning that he does not have a deep conflict over them like many guys do.
I've never seen him down when he's around them. He is always smiling and cheerful and making others feel good with his attitude. Women are emotional as we all know, so this has a very positive effect on them.
But he is crafty and thinks about his moves. For example, he makes friends with one in order to meet her friends and have an "in" with them. He is playful and teases them a lot, punching them on the shoulder lightly or kidding them about small stuff.
He is easygoing and quiet, doesn't say much, but not shy — just doesn't waste words. Never talks about himself. In fact, he told me this is a big part of it: don't talk about yourself, keep the interest on the other person (the girl) and watch what you say.
Don't talk about just anything that pops into your head. Don't blather about stuff. Stay light (never get into heavy issues with them) and always plan ahead and keep your eye on what they are feeling and doing. (Again, not yourself.)
He'll plan dates 4 or 5 days in advance, who he's going to be with, what he's going to do with them. Plus working at bars, he is there all night every night around chicks — lots of exposure time.
So basically that's it in a nutshell. No need for corny lines or complicated come-on techniques.
Just smile, love women openly, be friendly, be cool, plan ahead, watch what you say, focus on the girl, be light, get inside their circles by befriending one, and put yourself in a situation where you're going to meet lots of beautiful women.
The only problem this guy has is how to deal with all the women who want to sleep with him at the same time. He has probably broken a lot of hearts, but sloughs it off saying "Oh, they're good sports."
Read more!
I know a guy who is a DJ at a local bar. I've known him for 15 years and he must have gone through over a 1000 chicks — 2 or 3 every week, and all very attractive.
He looks like a normal guy to me, not much money or anything, not particularly articulate, but he has so many chicks it's unbelievable!
I had occasion to ask him his secrets and observe him over the years. This is what I saw and heard:
He is always smiling at chicks — always. He says "I love women!" and I think he really does... meaning that he does not have a deep conflict over them like many guys do.
I've never seen him down when he's around them. He is always smiling and cheerful and making others feel good with his attitude. Women are emotional as we all know, so this has a very positive effect on them.
But he is crafty and thinks about his moves. For example, he makes friends with one in order to meet her friends and have an "in" with them. He is playful and teases them a lot, punching them on the shoulder lightly or kidding them about small stuff.
He is easygoing and quiet, doesn't say much, but not shy — just doesn't waste words. Never talks about himself. In fact, he told me this is a big part of it: don't talk about yourself, keep the interest on the other person (the girl) and watch what you say.
Don't talk about just anything that pops into your head. Don't blather about stuff. Stay light (never get into heavy issues with them) and always plan ahead and keep your eye on what they are feeling and doing. (Again, not yourself.)
He'll plan dates 4 or 5 days in advance, who he's going to be with, what he's going to do with them. Plus working at bars, he is there all night every night around chicks — lots of exposure time.
So basically that's it in a nutshell. No need for corny lines or complicated come-on techniques.
Just smile, love women openly, be friendly, be cool, plan ahead, watch what you say, focus on the girl, be light, get inside their circles by befriending one, and put yourself in a situation where you're going to meet lots of beautiful women.
The only problem this guy has is how to deal with all the women who want to sleep with him at the same time. He has probably broken a lot of hearts, but sloughs it off saying "Oh, they're good sports."
Read more!
Are You Chasing Women That Are Not Interested?
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by Huisy
I've seen many witty responses to a woman's "I have a boyfriend" line. A lot of them are quite clever, but fundamentally flawed.
Let's put aside the problems if she does have a boyfriend in the first place (do you want to go out with a girl that cheats? do you want to piss off a man whose status and strength are unknown to you?) and look at the real issue.
If a girl offers this information on your first meeting, chances are she's not interested. Whether she is telling the truth or not is irrelevant. She's not interested in you. You will waste an awful lot of time chasing her if not.
Although men and women are quite different, you can usually gauge responses by putting yourself in the situation. You have a girlfriend, and she's not here. A woman you fancy talks to you, do you tell her you have a girlfriend? Alternatively, you don't like her, now do you tell her?
One thing I've learned whilst dating is that all the tricks, techniques, and mindsets will not work if the woman you've gone for hasn't decided you are a good mate. So the sooner you can get hold of information that she's not interested the better.
This is my response to the "I've got a boyfriend" line. It has to be said politely and with a smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know having a boyfriend stopped you from making friends. Nice to meet you."
Turn around and don't look back. Don't even try to catch her eye later on in the night.
Having done this a few times, I've gotten quite a few different responses. They all fall under these three categories:
1) The woman is embarrassed, and sees the stupidity of the situation. She comes back, and tries to get your attention. I have had women buy me drinks, apologize, give out their number and I've even slept with a few of them. I've also made many female friends, who help in getting more women.
2) The woman thinks nothing of it, and forgets you. She chats up other blokes in the place. You weren't selected by her. It's better than her saying "get lost ugly."
3) The woman actually has a boyfriend. He either arrives or she goes home without talking to anyone else.
Any way is a winner, and #1 is surprisingly the most popular response in my experience, so try it and see what happens.
Most importantly though: Don't waste time chasing a woman that is not interested. She may seem like an amazing prospect, but there are plenty of other prospects that require far less (or no) effort.
Read more!
I've seen many witty responses to a woman's "I have a boyfriend" line. A lot of them are quite clever, but fundamentally flawed.
Let's put aside the problems if she does have a boyfriend in the first place (do you want to go out with a girl that cheats? do you want to piss off a man whose status and strength are unknown to you?) and look at the real issue.
If a girl offers this information on your first meeting, chances are she's not interested. Whether she is telling the truth or not is irrelevant. She's not interested in you. You will waste an awful lot of time chasing her if not.
Although men and women are quite different, you can usually gauge responses by putting yourself in the situation. You have a girlfriend, and she's not here. A woman you fancy talks to you, do you tell her you have a girlfriend? Alternatively, you don't like her, now do you tell her?
One thing I've learned whilst dating is that all the tricks, techniques, and mindsets will not work if the woman you've gone for hasn't decided you are a good mate. So the sooner you can get hold of information that she's not interested the better.
This is my response to the "I've got a boyfriend" line. It has to be said politely and with a smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know having a boyfriend stopped you from making friends. Nice to meet you."
Turn around and don't look back. Don't even try to catch her eye later on in the night.
Having done this a few times, I've gotten quite a few different responses. They all fall under these three categories:
1) The woman is embarrassed, and sees the stupidity of the situation. She comes back, and tries to get your attention. I have had women buy me drinks, apologize, give out their number and I've even slept with a few of them. I've also made many female friends, who help in getting more women.
2) The woman thinks nothing of it, and forgets you. She chats up other blokes in the place. You weren't selected by her. It's better than her saying "get lost ugly."
3) The woman actually has a boyfriend. He either arrives or she goes home without talking to anyone else.
Any way is a winner, and #1 is surprisingly the most popular response in my experience, so try it and see what happens.
Most importantly though: Don't waste time chasing a woman that is not interested. She may seem like an amazing prospect, but there are plenty of other prospects that require far less (or no) effort.
Read more!
Building Your Skill Set for Approaching and Talking to Women
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by Moe Janssen
One of our greatest fears is approaching a complete stranger and unveiling our fondness towards them. Some people use liquid courage to inebriate the brain into motivating them forward, while others use psychological tactics to expand their comfort zone.
What type of world would this be if we never approached anyone? Just a bunch of weak men standing around, looking downwards, and keeping their mouths shut. Wondering what could have been if only we had the strength, courage, motivation, confidence, and something clever to say.
If you think approaching women comes easy then you are right, but here is the key: you have to practice to work out the kinks.
Pick-up artists make it look all too easy, but in reality, they encounter REJECTION just like the rest of us. The huge difference is that they do not allow rejection to interfere with the next person they approach. They have sculpted the art of approaching down to a natural ability to create rapport within a few moments.
You have to be willing to sacrifice your ego at first, to reap the benefits down the road. After you paid your dues (got a few thanks but no thanks) you can fine-tune your approach technique and soon you too will be able to rapidly seduce women.
You have to be aware that in certain scenarios the approach anxiety varies. If you master each level in sequential order, you will rid yourself of future approach anxiety. It all comes down to expanding your comfort level, which means venturing a risk. When you do so, you confront your fear head on and hopefully learn to accept the risk and move on without hesitation. A skill set needs time to develop.
Here are some places to build your skill set.
1) Internet Dating
You can view tons of matches all from the privacy of your home and be totally anonymous. Initially, there is no direct approach, but you may venture to do an online approach (email, instant message, send a virtual rose/wink). No verbal rejection, approach anxiety is minimal. Skill set develops as messages are exchanged. This is an ideal location to test/fine tune your quick wit. Do bear in mind online competition is very high.
2) Speed Dating
This is a controlled environment in which single people meet in a bar on an off night. The coordinator of the event instructs everyone to meet in a round robin fashion. There is a lot of face to face time but it's limited to only a few minutes with each individual. Since everyone there is single and there for the same purpose, approaching is the only option. The nervousness wears thin after a few mini-dates. This is a step up from internet fishing. No real rejection initially, and competition is medium.
3) Bars/Clubs
This is where a ton of people venture out every weekend to mingle and meet. Many people claim they are tired of the bar scene because they lack proper social skills or fear the competition. Alcohol and bringing a wingman is what most utilize for motivation. Competition is high during peak hours.
4) Spontaneous Interactions
This is more daytime approaching. At a grocery store, in line at the bank, at the gas station, walking on the street, festivals, etc. This is where you approach a stranger and develop rapport to extract a future date. Competition is very low but the rejection can be high unless you have skills.
Moe Janssen
MAURICEWaterford@aol.com
For more detailed info visit:
http://www.lulu.com/content/231078
Read more!
One of our greatest fears is approaching a complete stranger and unveiling our fondness towards them. Some people use liquid courage to inebriate the brain into motivating them forward, while others use psychological tactics to expand their comfort zone.
What type of world would this be if we never approached anyone? Just a bunch of weak men standing around, looking downwards, and keeping their mouths shut. Wondering what could have been if only we had the strength, courage, motivation, confidence, and something clever to say.
If you think approaching women comes easy then you are right, but here is the key: you have to practice to work out the kinks.
Pick-up artists make it look all too easy, but in reality, they encounter REJECTION just like the rest of us. The huge difference is that they do not allow rejection to interfere with the next person they approach. They have sculpted the art of approaching down to a natural ability to create rapport within a few moments.
You have to be willing to sacrifice your ego at first, to reap the benefits down the road. After you paid your dues (got a few thanks but no thanks) you can fine-tune your approach technique and soon you too will be able to rapidly seduce women.
You have to be aware that in certain scenarios the approach anxiety varies. If you master each level in sequential order, you will rid yourself of future approach anxiety. It all comes down to expanding your comfort level, which means venturing a risk. When you do so, you confront your fear head on and hopefully learn to accept the risk and move on without hesitation. A skill set needs time to develop.
Here are some places to build your skill set.
1) Internet Dating
You can view tons of matches all from the privacy of your home and be totally anonymous. Initially, there is no direct approach, but you may venture to do an online approach (email, instant message, send a virtual rose/wink). No verbal rejection, approach anxiety is minimal. Skill set develops as messages are exchanged. This is an ideal location to test/fine tune your quick wit. Do bear in mind online competition is very high.
2) Speed Dating
This is a controlled environment in which single people meet in a bar on an off night. The coordinator of the event instructs everyone to meet in a round robin fashion. There is a lot of face to face time but it's limited to only a few minutes with each individual. Since everyone there is single and there for the same purpose, approaching is the only option. The nervousness wears thin after a few mini-dates. This is a step up from internet fishing. No real rejection initially, and competition is medium.
3) Bars/Clubs
This is where a ton of people venture out every weekend to mingle and meet. Many people claim they are tired of the bar scene because they lack proper social skills or fear the competition. Alcohol and bringing a wingman is what most utilize for motivation. Competition is high during peak hours.
4) Spontaneous Interactions
This is more daytime approaching. At a grocery store, in line at the bank, at the gas station, walking on the street, festivals, etc. This is where you approach a stranger and develop rapport to extract a future date. Competition is very low but the rejection can be high unless you have skills.
Moe Janssen
MAURICEWaterford@aol.com
For more detailed info visit:
http://www.lulu.com/content/231078
Read more!
Why Happiness Is the Number One Factor In Attracting Women
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by VIVAlasVEGASBaby
I disagree with confidence being the #1 factor in attracting women. I believe happiness is #1 and confidence is #2.
How could someone be truly confident when they aren't happy? Without happiness why do women even matter? Why does anything matter? If you think you'll all of a sudden be happy when you have met that perfect one in a million girl who you love, you are crazy.
I guarantee every single true Don Juan has everlasting and infinite happiness. No matter what kind of crap they go through, they can still bust out the biggest smile of anyone. Confidence, charm, charisma, and all of that stuff comes with happiness.
When you achieve happiness, you stop caring and stop fearing talking to women. What happens when you do that? You become confident, and even if you don't have great charisma, you'll achieve it with the practice you put forward.
We all have our problems. What separates the men from the boys is how we deal with our problems. Your happiness should be your #1 priority, because without it, nothing matters, and you truly can't enjoy anything.
Read more!
I disagree with confidence being the #1 factor in attracting women. I believe happiness is #1 and confidence is #2.
How could someone be truly confident when they aren't happy? Without happiness why do women even matter? Why does anything matter? If you think you'll all of a sudden be happy when you have met that perfect one in a million girl who you love, you are crazy.
I guarantee every single true Don Juan has everlasting and infinite happiness. No matter what kind of crap they go through, they can still bust out the biggest smile of anyone. Confidence, charm, charisma, and all of that stuff comes with happiness.
When you achieve happiness, you stop caring and stop fearing talking to women. What happens when you do that? You become confident, and even if you don't have great charisma, you'll achieve it with the practice you put forward.
We all have our problems. What separates the men from the boys is how we deal with our problems. Your happiness should be your #1 priority, because without it, nothing matters, and you truly can't enjoy anything.
Read more!
How to Instantly Communicate That You Are Fun and Confident
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by Rico
I'm sure all of you guys know that when approaching anyone (especially women) nothing is more cordial and inviting than a warm, bright smile. It can also be a great way to gauge her initial interest.
Smiling puts everyone at ease. It reassures the other person that you mean well and "come in peace." It's fun and jovial and shows a caring, confident attitude.
When someone smiles at you, very rarely do you not smile back. And that smile makes you feel a little better about your day. It's as if someone saw something in you and it made them happy. They recognized something in you, and that is the most flattering thing a total stranger can do for us.
Now women behave rather interestingly when they are "interested" in us. A smile and gaze into their eyes will always get a positive response and you will be seen as attractive (not to mention you are more attractive when you smile). This serves you well and makes them think well of you.
If a woman is attracted to you, and you give her a warm smile (it has to be sincere and the eyes have to smile too), she will smile back and look at the ground or blush. It's an involuntary reaction so she won't be able to help it. The ice is already broken and you haven't even said a word.
I must mention this -- Don't Stare!
Smile and nod your head or say "Hi". Practice this constantly. It will do wonders for your confidence because we are fueled by positive human interaction. I remember someone once told me that to stay emotionally healthy we need a certain amount of touches by people per day. (Yes, we are that needy.)
Don't only smile at women to whom you are attracted. Smile at everyone. I once heard an old school pimp say you can tell a real player because every woman in the room is drawn to him. You want to have that level of magnetism where everyone is drawn to you.
You don't want this to be rehearsed and contrived though. It has to flow from your natural goodness and yearning for positive human interaction. The reason we don't smile more often is because we're (especially us guys) afraid to show our vulnerability and soft side.
The reason the smile is so effective is because you reflect goodness to someone. When someone smiles at you, you feel good about yourself, and in turn about that person. It gives you an emotional boost.
When you start letting this happiness flow through you (even if you aren't particularly in a good mood), you will see how other people positively respond to it and you will be affected by their response, just as much as they were affected by your smile.
Smiling also releases endorphins which can calm you and make you happier.
In life there are leaders and followers. There are those of us waiting for someone to smile at us and make us happy... and there are those of us who are willing to smile and give happiness first, knowing that our own happiness frequently comes from making someone else happy.
Read more!
I'm sure all of you guys know that when approaching anyone (especially women) nothing is more cordial and inviting than a warm, bright smile. It can also be a great way to gauge her initial interest.
Smiling puts everyone at ease. It reassures the other person that you mean well and "come in peace." It's fun and jovial and shows a caring, confident attitude.
When someone smiles at you, very rarely do you not smile back. And that smile makes you feel a little better about your day. It's as if someone saw something in you and it made them happy. They recognized something in you, and that is the most flattering thing a total stranger can do for us.
Now women behave rather interestingly when they are "interested" in us. A smile and gaze into their eyes will always get a positive response and you will be seen as attractive (not to mention you are more attractive when you smile). This serves you well and makes them think well of you.
If a woman is attracted to you, and you give her a warm smile (it has to be sincere and the eyes have to smile too), she will smile back and look at the ground or blush. It's an involuntary reaction so she won't be able to help it. The ice is already broken and you haven't even said a word.
I must mention this -- Don't Stare!
Smile and nod your head or say "Hi". Practice this constantly. It will do wonders for your confidence because we are fueled by positive human interaction. I remember someone once told me that to stay emotionally healthy we need a certain amount of touches by people per day. (Yes, we are that needy.)
Don't only smile at women to whom you are attracted. Smile at everyone. I once heard an old school pimp say you can tell a real player because every woman in the room is drawn to him. You want to have that level of magnetism where everyone is drawn to you.
You don't want this to be rehearsed and contrived though. It has to flow from your natural goodness and yearning for positive human interaction. The reason we don't smile more often is because we're (especially us guys) afraid to show our vulnerability and soft side.
The reason the smile is so effective is because you reflect goodness to someone. When someone smiles at you, you feel good about yourself, and in turn about that person. It gives you an emotional boost.
When you start letting this happiness flow through you (even if you aren't particularly in a good mood), you will see how other people positively respond to it and you will be affected by their response, just as much as they were affected by your smile.
Smiling also releases endorphins which can calm you and make you happier.
In life there are leaders and followers. There are those of us waiting for someone to smile at us and make us happy... and there are those of us who are willing to smile and give happiness first, knowing that our own happiness frequently comes from making someone else happy.
Read more!
Are You Afraid of Rejection, or Acceptance?
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by Squirrels
You're not afraid of rejection. Rejection is safe.
Think about it...when you DON'T engage with a woman, you're safe. You haven't put any of yourself out there. You haven't taken any risk or made any commitment of your time.
Suppose you DO roll up on a girl and she shuts you down cold. Again, you haven't made any commitment of your time besides the little you already spent. You're essentially back to where you started with the ladies, and the risk you've taken has been minimal. You haven't given her any opportunity to really judge you. You haven't let her get close enough to affect your feelings. Essentially, rejection is a NEAR-ZERO RISK situation.
No...what you're afraid of is ACCEPTANCE.
You're not worrying, "Oh my God, what if she turns me down?" That would be the easiest way out of the situation you're putting yourself into. What you're saying to yourself is, "Oh my God, what if she says YES?"
If she gives you her number or agrees to a date, then all of a sudden you have a RESPONSIBILITY. You're committed to furthering the sarge. You're forced to expose more of yourself as you spend more time with this girl. Suddenly, what you do takes on a whole new level of importance!
The worst of you with women have never even BEEN at this level before. The rest have been exposed to it at some level, but this "performance anxiety" is what REALLY stresses you out.
- If you spend time with her, you'll have to spend time with all her friends, who will ALSO judge you.
- If she accepts you, then you'll have to set aside time you were using for something else, or saving for God knows what, to spend with HER.
- You'll actually have to find creative ways to spend your time, now that you're with her, because before, just lying on your couch, you only disappointed yourself.
- You'll have to become educated, learn to dress nice, make the money to keep step with everything you want to do, learn to socialize with other human beings, and learn to have FUN at the same time!
Think of all the responsibility!! So much easier to...
...SABOTAGE THE APPROACH!!
That's right...the reason a lot of you get rejected with women is because you SABOTAGE your own approach. Sure, you'll go up and run your so-called "Game", but that voice inside of you that fears all this initiation will keep telling you, "If she accepts you, you're more screwed than you were before!" That will leak out in your mannerisms, in your nervous habits, in your awkward speech.
She will see this and HONOR YOUR REQUEST for rejection.
When you go to pick up a woman, you're not just picking HER up. She's not livestock. You pick up a whole EXPERIENCE. You pick up a lifestyle change, EVEN if you're only with that girl long enough to get laid, EVEN if there's no relationship involved.
Women aren't a commodity, they're an experience. What pushes you outside your comfort zone isn't expressing interest in the product, it's completing the transaction. It's COMMITTING to whatever the experience brings.
So the first thing you need to do...is decide whether you really WANT to have a go with women. It's not something you can do half-way, or they will reject you every single time. You either want women in your life YES, or you want women in your life NO.
And if you DO want them, then that doesn't mean you can just approach, get digits, and then have booty on-tap like running water. It means you're gonna be taken on a bit of a ride.
Like getting on a roller coaster, you can pretend that you're afraid you won't be THIS TALL enough to ride, but your real fear is that you WILL be, and once that lap-bar comes down, you're committed to whatever comes next for at least the next several minutes.
Read more!
You're not afraid of rejection. Rejection is safe.
Think about it...when you DON'T engage with a woman, you're safe. You haven't put any of yourself out there. You haven't taken any risk or made any commitment of your time.
Suppose you DO roll up on a girl and she shuts you down cold. Again, you haven't made any commitment of your time besides the little you already spent. You're essentially back to where you started with the ladies, and the risk you've taken has been minimal. You haven't given her any opportunity to really judge you. You haven't let her get close enough to affect your feelings. Essentially, rejection is a NEAR-ZERO RISK situation.
No...what you're afraid of is ACCEPTANCE.
You're not worrying, "Oh my God, what if she turns me down?" That would be the easiest way out of the situation you're putting yourself into. What you're saying to yourself is, "Oh my God, what if she says YES?"
If she gives you her number or agrees to a date, then all of a sudden you have a RESPONSIBILITY. You're committed to furthering the sarge. You're forced to expose more of yourself as you spend more time with this girl. Suddenly, what you do takes on a whole new level of importance!
The worst of you with women have never even BEEN at this level before. The rest have been exposed to it at some level, but this "performance anxiety" is what REALLY stresses you out.
- If you spend time with her, you'll have to spend time with all her friends, who will ALSO judge you.
- If she accepts you, then you'll have to set aside time you were using for something else, or saving for God knows what, to spend with HER.
- You'll actually have to find creative ways to spend your time, now that you're with her, because before, just lying on your couch, you only disappointed yourself.
- You'll have to become educated, learn to dress nice, make the money to keep step with everything you want to do, learn to socialize with other human beings, and learn to have FUN at the same time!
Think of all the responsibility!! So much easier to...
...SABOTAGE THE APPROACH!!
That's right...the reason a lot of you get rejected with women is because you SABOTAGE your own approach. Sure, you'll go up and run your so-called "Game", but that voice inside of you that fears all this initiation will keep telling you, "If she accepts you, you're more screwed than you were before!" That will leak out in your mannerisms, in your nervous habits, in your awkward speech.
She will see this and HONOR YOUR REQUEST for rejection.
When you go to pick up a woman, you're not just picking HER up. She's not livestock. You pick up a whole EXPERIENCE. You pick up a lifestyle change, EVEN if you're only with that girl long enough to get laid, EVEN if there's no relationship involved.
Women aren't a commodity, they're an experience. What pushes you outside your comfort zone isn't expressing interest in the product, it's completing the transaction. It's COMMITTING to whatever the experience brings.
So the first thing you need to do...is decide whether you really WANT to have a go with women. It's not something you can do half-way, or they will reject you every single time. You either want women in your life YES, or you want women in your life NO.
And if you DO want them, then that doesn't mean you can just approach, get digits, and then have booty on-tap like running water. It means you're gonna be taken on a bit of a ride.
Like getting on a roller coaster, you can pretend that you're afraid you won't be THIS TALL enough to ride, but your real fear is that you WILL be, and once that lap-bar comes down, you're committed to whatever comes next for at least the next several minutes.
Read more!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Why You Should Ask Her to Do You a Favor
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by Carl
For all you guys out there that have found your soulmate but are still trying to ingratiate yourself to her. I personally have never experienced this, but I've heard of people who swear by it. The idea makes sense too...
If you want a girl to fall for you, ask her to do you a favor.
This may sound a little odd. You always knew that doing a favor for another person was a good way to show you care, but now you're just turning that idea around and using it to your advantage.
What I was told was that since women are nurturers and caregivers by nature, they tend to invest time in whomever they are interested in. So next time you need a ride to the grocery store, a cup of sugar, someone to go clothes shopping with, or your nephew babysat, just pipe up and ask her.
Make sure you're at least friends before you try this, don't use it on a girl you just met/barely know.
And by the way guys, never borrow money.
Read more!
For all you guys out there that have found your soulmate but are still trying to ingratiate yourself to her. I personally have never experienced this, but I've heard of people who swear by it. The idea makes sense too...
If you want a girl to fall for you, ask her to do you a favor.
This may sound a little odd. You always knew that doing a favor for another person was a good way to show you care, but now you're just turning that idea around and using it to your advantage.
What I was told was that since women are nurturers and caregivers by nature, they tend to invest time in whomever they are interested in. So next time you need a ride to the grocery store, a cup of sugar, someone to go clothes shopping with, or your nephew babysat, just pipe up and ask her.
Make sure you're at least friends before you try this, don't use it on a girl you just met/barely know.
And by the way guys, never borrow money.
Read more!
3 Critical Errors When Talking to Women Online. You're Probably Doing One of Them Right Now!
span.fullpost {display:none;}
by Derek Lamont
So... you're on your favorite dating site... or maybe you're on Facebook...
And there she is.
The girl that catches your attention. But what do you do? Let me tell you what 99% of guys do... they'll message them and say something really generic like...
"Hey! How's it going! You look really interesting and I was wondering if you would like to chat sometime! Hit me back!"
Or...
"Wow, you're gorgeous. I bet you have all the guys out there hitting on you... but hopefully this message will get through to you because I would really like to treat you out sometime!"
Or...
"I'm the nicest guy ever if you give me the chance! You should hit me back!"
I don't care if you believe me – but it's true. I guarantee you the success rate of some of these generic messages are about near 1% if you're lucky. And that's if you have a really nice profile...
So what's the magic formula?
Well for starters...I did mention this before... you need to PERFECT YOUR PROFILE before you get started.
Don't message ANYONE until your online dating profile is perfect!
What do I mean by this? You need to get the right pictures and right content in your profile. An attractive girl will not message you back if you have NO picture and just the most generic responses in your profile content.
Picture yourself from a girl's perspective... you see some guy message you on some dating website and he has NO pictures... can you say creep?
What kind of pictures do you need to include? Typically speaking, you need to include pictures that convey value – but not in the way you're thinking of... I'll get to that a bit later.
The second thing you need to do is READ HER PROFILE. Too many guys fail to personalize the first message, which is critical. There are too many cut and paste messages out there.
An attractive girl gets as many as fifty messages a day! Do you think she's going to have time to read all of them? Absolutely not.
You need something that catches their attention...the easiest way to do this is to personalize your message! More on this later...
Finally, the third thing most guys do is... write way too damn much!
Keep the message SHORT! Again, you need to appear like a non-creepy and non-needy guy. Again, imagine being an attractive girl... and you literally receive a full-fledged NOVEL! How weird is that to her? You barely know her and already you're willing to invest a massive amount of time for her?
She doesn't deserve that yet.
I give you all the tips you need on my website! So you're in luck.
Go check them out right now at
Online Pickup Secrets
You won't be disappointed.
Derek Lamont
Online Pickup Artist Expert & Author
Read more!
So... you're on your favorite dating site... or maybe you're on Facebook...
And there she is.
The girl that catches your attention. But what do you do? Let me tell you what 99% of guys do... they'll message them and say something really generic like...
"Hey! How's it going! You look really interesting and I was wondering if you would like to chat sometime! Hit me back!"
Or...
"Wow, you're gorgeous. I bet you have all the guys out there hitting on you... but hopefully this message will get through to you because I would really like to treat you out sometime!"
Or...
"I'm the nicest guy ever if you give me the chance! You should hit me back!"
I don't care if you believe me – but it's true. I guarantee you the success rate of some of these generic messages are about near 1% if you're lucky. And that's if you have a really nice profile...
So what's the magic formula?
Well for starters...I did mention this before... you need to PERFECT YOUR PROFILE before you get started.
Don't message ANYONE until your online dating profile is perfect!
What do I mean by this? You need to get the right pictures and right content in your profile. An attractive girl will not message you back if you have NO picture and just the most generic responses in your profile content.
Picture yourself from a girl's perspective... you see some guy message you on some dating website and he has NO pictures... can you say creep?
What kind of pictures do you need to include? Typically speaking, you need to include pictures that convey value – but not in the way you're thinking of... I'll get to that a bit later.
The second thing you need to do is READ HER PROFILE. Too many guys fail to personalize the first message, which is critical. There are too many cut and paste messages out there.
An attractive girl gets as many as fifty messages a day! Do you think she's going to have time to read all of them? Absolutely not.
You need something that catches their attention...the easiest way to do this is to personalize your message! More on this later...
Finally, the third thing most guys do is... write way too damn much!
Keep the message SHORT! Again, you need to appear like a non-creepy and non-needy guy. Again, imagine being an attractive girl... and you literally receive a full-fledged NOVEL! How weird is that to her? You barely know her and already you're willing to invest a massive amount of time for her?
She doesn't deserve that yet.
I give you all the tips you need on my website! So you're in luck.
Go check them out right now at
Online Pickup Secrets
You won't be disappointed.
Derek Lamont
Online Pickup Artist Expert & Author
Read more!
HOW TO UNLEASH YOUR CHARISMA
span.fullpost {display:none;}
Today, I'd like to share some extremely empowering
tips for you, whether you are searching for a great
woman, or whether you have already met her and
want to take things to the next level.
The first thing I want to share with you is how
to actually BECOME far more confident, far
more charismatic, and also far more understanding
and wise. These are the traits that a quality woman
is searching for in a man, and there is a WAY to
achieve this.
Just like your muscles become stronger by
gradually and regularly increasing the amount
of weight they are lifting, so too your ATTRACTIVE
EMOTIONS become far stronger by gradually and
regularly having to USE them to greater and greater
extents.
So, for example, if you wake up in the morning
and you already feel negative or angry or pissed
off, or if you feel frozen the moment you are
supposed to go up to a woman and talk to her,
then realize that you don't have to go from
ZERO to SUPER AWESOME STATE.
Rather, just like you would increase the weights
a little each time you go to the gym (when you
are starting out), so too you just have to exercise
the right emotions a bit more each day to get
much much stronger over the course of just a
few weeks. And the way to do this is, for
example, to wake up in the morning and
make a commitment to make one
COMPASSIONATE wish for someone
other than yourself. (I'd like to give thanks
to Sakyong Mipham for this -
http://www.mipham.com/teachings.php?id=20)
The very idea of trying to give to OTHERS when
you are feeling like YOU are the one who is in
need might seem strange, but the IRONY is that
actually this is best way to STRENGTHEN
your emotional state, to feel a billion times
more empowered.
Life is full of interesting yet often sweet ironies.
The time when you feel it's craziest to be focusing
on others, that's the time when you need to do it
the MOST! That's because it actually gives YOU
strength, gives you emotional resources that
you never thought possible- and when it comes
to the person you are, as far as a woman is
concerned, the ONLY impact you will make
is when you are actually in the right emotional
STATE.
Forget pick-up lines, forget manipulation tactics-
the truth is they don't WORK! They certainly
don't work to turn you into the kind of man
that is the REAL version of a "James Bond"
character. Can you imagine a real "James Bond"
type trying to memorize a pick up line in order
to meet a woman?
I recently received a powerful letter that
helps highlight the power of your real
emotional state:
***LETTER***
"Michael, this is purely fan mail. I'm a thirty
year old man and I can honestly say that having
downloaded your e-book and read your articles
has brought a tremendous light of understanding
into my life. I have been returning to your stuff
over and over and I keep getting more out of it.
I suffered a lot growing up, with some devastating
blows to my capacity for intimacy- consequently
developed a massive blind spot around the whole
area of sexual attraction. This has long been
my "achilles heel".
I couldn't accept the bitter, cynical advice offered
by most dating gurus because that's just not an
expression of who I am. I am currently working
my butt off in Nursing school, but I have every
intention to come up to Toronto and do a
seminar with you after I graduate.
I noticed you mentioned that you do some
meditation, I have done a lot of Buddhist
meditation with the Shambhala community.
It's funny, Your speaking voice is SO similar
to the Shambhala communities leader,
Sakyong Mipham. And actually your message
is similar too in many respects.
I thought you might appreciate this music video
from the Sakyong, Titled "What About Me?"
You are both my heroes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDSAAlrqAHM
I didn't used to understand the altruistic nature of
Buddhism because, lacking self esteem I had no basis
to work from. I'm not there yet, with respect to women
or Buddhism, but I've come a long ways.
Sincerely,
John T.
USA
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
Thank you first of all for the kind words, they
mean a lot to me. Secondly, congratulations
on your waking up from "the Matrix" and
realizing that the answer to improving
dating success and relationship success
on a serious level comes not from cynical
attitudes towards women, but from growing
INTERNALLY.
You said a wonderful comment regarding
how self-esteem is the basis of altruism.
It's also the basis of CHARISMA, because
human beings on a very visceral, powerful,
primitive CORE level will always feel
that the person who is confidently GIVING
good emotional vibes to others must ALSO
be the person who is STRONGER and
who is "more" of all the desirable things.
I had actually not heard of the cool person
Sakyong before, but as soon as you mentioned
him, I checked out his site, and so I take your
comments as a big compliment- thank you.
So the key to having more charisma with
women is to everyday push your own
emotional envelope further, when it comes
to the emotions you know right now that you
need to STRENGTHEN.
For example, if you know that going up to
women and saying hello is the thing you
fear the most, then you need to start doing
small versions of that, i.e. just smiling
and making eye contact, then building
up to saying hi, then having a longer
conversation, etc.
If you are currently the kind of person who
feels bitter about women, then you need
to start exercising the emotions of COMPASSION
toward women, bit by bit, and you will see,
if you do this everyday a bit more, that you
will grow INFINITELY stronger and you
will feel like a MASSIVE WEIGHT has
been lifted off your shoulders, off your
mind, so that you can truly TAKE OFF
and soar emotionally. Remember- your
emotional STATE is the key to your
charisma.
I'd like to make one final point about how
long it takes to actually CHANGE, to actually
GET RESULTS.
And the answer to that question is that
it can happen REALLY FAST. I'm talking
LIGHTNING fast.
It can also take FOREVER- and the KEY
factor that determines how long it will
take is all up to YOU.
Yes, YOU.
If you truly WANT to become the kind of man
you need to be, if you are truly motivated, then
you will see VERY FAST change.
But if you would rather just sit around and
soak in negativity, or laziness, or indifference,
then it's easy for you to NEVER get the
internal leverage to change.
Many years ago, there was a man who had certain
ideas about IMPROVING the performance of
the auto makers in the US. He was met with
very LITTLE welcome, his ideas did NOT
catch on.
However, the auto makers in Japan at that time
were extremely RECEPTIVE to his ideas.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand
that the car companies that were well established
felt very little internal LEVERAGE or need to
really change and improve all that much.
It was too much work, it seemed.
In life, you must constantly be seeking to improve
yourself. Not in a way where you feel depressed
that you are not improved, but simply that you
are constantly working on yourself- that IS
the purpose of the whole thing on this planet.
It actually brings you into the most resourceful
state.
Anything else, and you feel you're slowly sliding
DOWN. Not good for your emotional state at all.
So I urge you to figure out WHY it matters
to you to MAKE the changes required, or
you will never do it. Once you have the
WHY figured out, the rest comes pretty
easy. You just have to follow the ideas
and steps that I explain in detail in my
books and programs. But without the
internal leverage there, you will never
actually apply the knowledge.
Some people smoke all their life, saying they
could never quit, and then when their doctor
tells them some horrific news about their
health, suddenly they are able to quit
cold turkey.
Some people are miserable to their relationship
partner their whole life, until that person leaves
them, then suddenly they are totally able to
change, they realize the full emotional brunt
of their mistake only then, but it's too late.
I believe most people can change and get results
VERY FAST, if they are truly READY and
willing.
Don't be the guy who only gets ready when
it's too late. Take action NOW and get the
woman of your dreams by going to
https://www.getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
IMMEDIATELY.
To learn about ALL my programs, go to:
https://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.html
Best,
Michael
(c) 2009 Get A Great Girl
All Rights Reserved.
Read more!
tips for you, whether you are searching for a great
woman, or whether you have already met her and
want to take things to the next level.
The first thing I want to share with you is how
to actually BECOME far more confident, far
more charismatic, and also far more understanding
and wise. These are the traits that a quality woman
is searching for in a man, and there is a WAY to
achieve this.
Just like your muscles become stronger by
gradually and regularly increasing the amount
of weight they are lifting, so too your ATTRACTIVE
EMOTIONS become far stronger by gradually and
regularly having to USE them to greater and greater
extents.
So, for example, if you wake up in the morning
and you already feel negative or angry or pissed
off, or if you feel frozen the moment you are
supposed to go up to a woman and talk to her,
then realize that you don't have to go from
ZERO to SUPER AWESOME STATE.
Rather, just like you would increase the weights
a little each time you go to the gym (when you
are starting out), so too you just have to exercise
the right emotions a bit more each day to get
much much stronger over the course of just a
few weeks. And the way to do this is, for
example, to wake up in the morning and
make a commitment to make one
COMPASSIONATE wish for someone
other than yourself. (I'd like to give thanks
to Sakyong Mipham for this -
http://www.mipham.com/teachings.php?id=20)
The very idea of trying to give to OTHERS when
you are feeling like YOU are the one who is in
need might seem strange, but the IRONY is that
actually this is best way to STRENGTHEN
your emotional state, to feel a billion times
more empowered.
Life is full of interesting yet often sweet ironies.
The time when you feel it's craziest to be focusing
on others, that's the time when you need to do it
the MOST! That's because it actually gives YOU
strength, gives you emotional resources that
you never thought possible- and when it comes
to the person you are, as far as a woman is
concerned, the ONLY impact you will make
is when you are actually in the right emotional
STATE.
Forget pick-up lines, forget manipulation tactics-
the truth is they don't WORK! They certainly
don't work to turn you into the kind of man
that is the REAL version of a "James Bond"
character. Can you imagine a real "James Bond"
type trying to memorize a pick up line in order
to meet a woman?
I recently received a powerful letter that
helps highlight the power of your real
emotional state:
***LETTER***
"Michael, this is purely fan mail. I'm a thirty
year old man and I can honestly say that having
downloaded your e-book and read your articles
has brought a tremendous light of understanding
into my life. I have been returning to your stuff
over and over and I keep getting more out of it.
I suffered a lot growing up, with some devastating
blows to my capacity for intimacy- consequently
developed a massive blind spot around the whole
area of sexual attraction. This has long been
my "achilles heel".
I couldn't accept the bitter, cynical advice offered
by most dating gurus because that's just not an
expression of who I am. I am currently working
my butt off in Nursing school, but I have every
intention to come up to Toronto and do a
seminar with you after I graduate.
I noticed you mentioned that you do some
meditation, I have done a lot of Buddhist
meditation with the Shambhala community.
It's funny, Your speaking voice is SO similar
to the Shambhala communities leader,
Sakyong Mipham. And actually your message
is similar too in many respects.
I thought you might appreciate this music video
from the Sakyong, Titled "What About Me?"
You are both my heroes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDSAAlrqAHM
I didn't used to understand the altruistic nature of
Buddhism because, lacking self esteem I had no basis
to work from. I'm not there yet, with respect to women
or Buddhism, but I've come a long ways.
Sincerely,
John T.
USA
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
Thank you first of all for the kind words, they
mean a lot to me. Secondly, congratulations
on your waking up from "the Matrix" and
realizing that the answer to improving
dating success and relationship success
on a serious level comes not from cynical
attitudes towards women, but from growing
INTERNALLY.
You said a wonderful comment regarding
how self-esteem is the basis of altruism.
It's also the basis of CHARISMA, because
human beings on a very visceral, powerful,
primitive CORE level will always feel
that the person who is confidently GIVING
good emotional vibes to others must ALSO
be the person who is STRONGER and
who is "more" of all the desirable things.
I had actually not heard of the cool person
Sakyong before, but as soon as you mentioned
him, I checked out his site, and so I take your
comments as a big compliment- thank you.
So the key to having more charisma with
women is to everyday push your own
emotional envelope further, when it comes
to the emotions you know right now that you
need to STRENGTHEN.
For example, if you know that going up to
women and saying hello is the thing you
fear the most, then you need to start doing
small versions of that, i.e. just smiling
and making eye contact, then building
up to saying hi, then having a longer
conversation, etc.
If you are currently the kind of person who
feels bitter about women, then you need
to start exercising the emotions of COMPASSION
toward women, bit by bit, and you will see,
if you do this everyday a bit more, that you
will grow INFINITELY stronger and you
will feel like a MASSIVE WEIGHT has
been lifted off your shoulders, off your
mind, so that you can truly TAKE OFF
and soar emotionally. Remember- your
emotional STATE is the key to your
charisma.
I'd like to make one final point about how
long it takes to actually CHANGE, to actually
GET RESULTS.
And the answer to that question is that
it can happen REALLY FAST. I'm talking
LIGHTNING fast.
It can also take FOREVER- and the KEY
factor that determines how long it will
take is all up to YOU.
Yes, YOU.
If you truly WANT to become the kind of man
you need to be, if you are truly motivated, then
you will see VERY FAST change.
But if you would rather just sit around and
soak in negativity, or laziness, or indifference,
then it's easy for you to NEVER get the
internal leverage to change.
Many years ago, there was a man who had certain
ideas about IMPROVING the performance of
the auto makers in the US. He was met with
very LITTLE welcome, his ideas did NOT
catch on.
However, the auto makers in Japan at that time
were extremely RECEPTIVE to his ideas.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand
that the car companies that were well established
felt very little internal LEVERAGE or need to
really change and improve all that much.
It was too much work, it seemed.
In life, you must constantly be seeking to improve
yourself. Not in a way where you feel depressed
that you are not improved, but simply that you
are constantly working on yourself- that IS
the purpose of the whole thing on this planet.
It actually brings you into the most resourceful
state.
Anything else, and you feel you're slowly sliding
DOWN. Not good for your emotional state at all.
So I urge you to figure out WHY it matters
to you to MAKE the changes required, or
you will never do it. Once you have the
WHY figured out, the rest comes pretty
easy. You just have to follow the ideas
and steps that I explain in detail in my
books and programs. But without the
internal leverage there, you will never
actually apply the knowledge.
Some people smoke all their life, saying they
could never quit, and then when their doctor
tells them some horrific news about their
health, suddenly they are able to quit
cold turkey.
Some people are miserable to their relationship
partner their whole life, until that person leaves
them, then suddenly they are totally able to
change, they realize the full emotional brunt
of their mistake only then, but it's too late.
I believe most people can change and get results
VERY FAST, if they are truly READY and
willing.
Don't be the guy who only gets ready when
it's too late. Take action NOW and get the
woman of your dreams by going to
https://www.getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
IMMEDIATELY.
To learn about ALL my programs, go to:
https://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.html
Best,
Michael
(c) 2009 Get A Great Girl
All Rights Reserved.
Read more!
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