Think about it...when you DON'T engage with a woman, you're safe. You haven't put any of yourself out there. You haven't taken any risk or made any commitment of your time.
You're not afraid of rejection. Rejection is safe.
Suppose you DO roll up on a girl & he shuts you down cold. Again, you haven't made any commitment of your time besides the little you already spent. You're essentially back to where you started with the ladies, & the risk you've taken has been minimal. You haven't given her any opportunity to really judge you. You haven't let her get close to affect your feelings. Essentially, rejection is a NEAR-ZERO RISK situation.
No...what you're afraid of is ACCEPTANCE.
You're not worrying, "Oh my God, what if he turns me down?" That would be the easiest way out of the situation you're putting yourself in to. What you're saying to yourself is, "Oh my God, what if he says YES?"
If he gives you her number or agrees to a date, then all of a sudden you have a RESPONSIBILITY. You're committed to furthering the sarge. You're forced to expose more of yourself as you spend more time with this girl. Suddenly, what you do takes on a whole new level of importance!
- If you spend time with her, you'll have to spend time with all her friends, who will ALSO judge you.
The worst of you with women have never even BEEN at this level before. The rest have been exposed to it at some level, but this "performance anxiety" is what REALLY stresses you out.
- You'll actually have to find creative ways to spend your time, now that you're with her, because before, lying on your couch, you only disappointed yourself.
- If he accepts you, then you'll have to set aside time you were using for something else, or saving for God knows what, to spend with HER.
reckon of all the responsibility!! So much easier to...
- You'll have to become educated, learn to dress nice, make the money to keep step with everything you want to do, learn to socialize with other human beings, & learn to have FUN at the same time!
That's right...the reason a lot of you get rejected with women is because you SABOTAGE your own approach. Sure, you'll go up & run your so-called "Game", but that voice inside of you that fears all this initiation will keep telling you, "If he accepts you, you're more screwed than you were before!" That will leak out in your mannerisms, in your nervous habits, in your awkward speech.
...SABOTAGE THE APPROACH!!
When you go to pick up a woman, you're not picking HER up. She's not livestock. You pick up a whole EXPERIENCE. You pick up a lifestyle adapt, EVEN if you're only with that girl long to get laid, EVEN if there's no relationship involved.
he will see this & HONOR YOUR REQUEST for rejection.
So the first thing you want to do...is decide whether you really want to have a go with women. It's not something you can do halfway, or they will reject you every single time. You either want women in your life YES, or you want women in your life NO.
Women aren't a commodity, they're an experience. What pushes you outside your comfort zone isn't expressing interest in the product, it's completing the transaction. It's COMMITTING to whatever the experience brings.
Like getting on a roller coaster, you can pretend that you're afraid you won't be THIS TALL to ride, but your real fear is that you WILL be, & five time that lap-bar comes down, you're committed to whatever comes next for at least the next several minutes.
and if you DO want them, then that doesn't mean you can approach, get digits, & then have booty on-tap like running water. It means you're going to be taken on a bit of a ride.
Read more!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
30 Quick Dating Tips
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1 It's supposed to be fun. You can't & won't win em all. Get something out of every interaction you have with a woman. Learn something. Entertain yourself with her.
Over the past few years, in actively & consciously trying to meet women, I have learned a few things. a quantity of these came as enlightening epiphanies, some came with groans & slaps to the forehead, but they all came with experience.
2 Be willing to change, but only for yourself.
3 It is a numbers game. Play the numbers, roll with the punches. It's a roller coaster, ups & downs, infant. "When you're up, it's seldom as nice as it seems & when you're down it seems like you'll seldom get up again." You will.
4 In general, it is bad form to apologize. For anything. You can admit you were wrong, you can offer to make things right, but don't apologize.
5 "Good things come to those that wait". Not this time. nice things come to those that act. The 3-second rule works on lots of levels.
6 Do not ask permission to do or say anything. seldom ask a woman if you can kiss them, hug them, hold them, etc.
7 there is no such thing as overconfidence. there is such a thing as taking yourself seriously, however.
8 Agreeable is boring.
9 Jealousy is a "let's be friends" best friend.
10 seldom ask questions that are designed to find out what she thinks of you.
11 Humor covers a multitude of sins. Laughing is an aphrodisiac. Learn to be funny. Listen to comedy albums. George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock.
12 Nobody likes a complainer. Unless he's funny.
13 Role reversal is great fun, & it works. Act like she is trying to get in to your pants. Play hard to get. Fight fire with fire.
14 A fireplace is a worthwhile investment.
15 A drop of vanilla extract in your bottle of cologne. one spray on your throat, one on your chest, & a little behind your ears.
16 You must lead. Even if you don't know where you're going. Make it an adventure. Take her hand & lead.
17 The only thing that matters with a woman is now. What she thought of you 10 minutes ago is probably different from what she thinks of you now & what she might think of you 10 minutes from now. So don't worry about what she thinks of you.
18 Life isn't fair & dating is a part of life. Dating, dealing with women, isn't & isn't supposed to be fair. Get over it.
19 Touch her first, immediately, briefly. Let the kino progress naturally. Don't force it.
20 Women love dogs.
21 there is no such thing as playing out of your league. Everyone is in the same league. There may be all-stars & scrubs, but even all-stars lose & even scrubs can become all-stars with practice.
22 Take periodic breaks from the game. Focus on your other interests. Get your life straightened out. Do something else, then come back.
23 Get her to call you, do you favors, adjust her schedule for you, etc.
24 If you plan to get serious with a woman, there are a few things you should take in to account. First, she will turn in to her sister. Second, she will turn in to her sister.
25 The difference between being congruent & sending mixed signals: Being congruent has to do with who you are. Sending mixed signals is about how you feel about her.
26 nice dancers are nice in bed.
27 A woman will check you & keep on testing you. Don't get comfortable. Stay on your toes.
28 Don't let flirting drag on. Stop while it's still fun. Close, or leave & come back.
29 nice kissers are nice in bed.
30 Women like sex as much as they do. they like to talk about it as much as they do , maybe even more. But not in the same way.
Read more!
Over the past few years, in actively & consciously trying to meet women, I have learned a few things. a quantity of these came as enlightening epiphanies, some came with groans & slaps to the forehead, but they all came with experience.
2 Be willing to change, but only for yourself.
3 It is a numbers game. Play the numbers, roll with the punches. It's a roller coaster, ups & downs, infant. "When you're up, it's seldom as nice as it seems & when you're down it seems like you'll seldom get up again." You will.
4 In general, it is bad form to apologize. For anything. You can admit you were wrong, you can offer to make things right, but don't apologize.
5 "Good things come to those that wait". Not this time. nice things come to those that act. The 3-second rule works on lots of levels.
6 Do not ask permission to do or say anything. seldom ask a woman if you can kiss them, hug them, hold them, etc.
7 there is no such thing as overconfidence. there is such a thing as taking yourself seriously, however.
8 Agreeable is boring.
9 Jealousy is a "let's be friends" best friend.
10 seldom ask questions that are designed to find out what she thinks of you.
11 Humor covers a multitude of sins. Laughing is an aphrodisiac. Learn to be funny. Listen to comedy albums. George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock.
12 Nobody likes a complainer. Unless he's funny.
13 Role reversal is great fun, & it works. Act like she is trying to get in to your pants. Play hard to get. Fight fire with fire.
14 A fireplace is a worthwhile investment.
15 A drop of vanilla extract in your bottle of cologne. one spray on your throat, one on your chest, & a little behind your ears.
16 You must lead. Even if you don't know where you're going. Make it an adventure. Take her hand & lead.
17 The only thing that matters with a woman is now. What she thought of you 10 minutes ago is probably different from what she thinks of you now & what she might think of you 10 minutes from now. So don't worry about what she thinks of you.
18 Life isn't fair & dating is a part of life. Dating, dealing with women, isn't & isn't supposed to be fair. Get over it.
19 Touch her first, immediately, briefly. Let the kino progress naturally. Don't force it.
20 Women love dogs.
21 there is no such thing as playing out of your league. Everyone is in the same league. There may be all-stars & scrubs, but even all-stars lose & even scrubs can become all-stars with practice.
22 Take periodic breaks from the game. Focus on your other interests. Get your life straightened out. Do something else, then come back.
23 Get her to call you, do you favors, adjust her schedule for you, etc.
24 If you plan to get serious with a woman, there are a few things you should take in to account. First, she will turn in to her sister. Second, she will turn in to her sister.
25 The difference between being congruent & sending mixed signals: Being congruent has to do with who you are. Sending mixed signals is about how you feel about her.
26 nice dancers are nice in bed.
27 A woman will check you & keep on testing you. Don't get comfortable. Stay on your toes.
28 Don't let flirting drag on. Stop while it's still fun. Close, or leave & come back.
29 nice kissers are nice in bed.
30 Women like sex as much as they do. they like to talk about it as much as they do , maybe even more. But not in the same way.
Read more!
The Perfect Place to Meet Women
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I am a personal trainer at an average gym, and I tell you that place is a gold mine.
three query that all of us are or should be asking, is where we can go to meet women. After all, what lovely is all of the advice that you read here if you don't utilize any of it.
Now a lot of guys may not agree because we spend the majority of our time in the weight room working on bench press, squats, you know "guy exercises."
Well at my gym we have an aerobics room that offers free classes on a regular basis. Abs only, aerobics, spin, you know "girl exercises." and whenever I look in while there's a class in session the ratio of women to men is about 20 to 1.
It's the perfect environment. i have seldom seen a place where the average girl was so hot with an almost complete lack of other men.
Seriously, i have seen some average guys meet supermodel drop dead beautiful women in there. You know all the girls are in shape because those classes aren't easy, and we aren't exactly wearing a lot of clothes while they're sweating.
Go check it out. Worst thing that can happen is you get in shape.
Read more!
three query that all of us are or should be asking, is where we can go to meet women. After all, what lovely is all of the advice that you read here if you don't utilize any of it.
Now a lot of guys may not agree because we spend the majority of our time in the weight room working on bench press, squats, you know "guy exercises."
Well at my gym we have an aerobics room that offers free classes on a regular basis. Abs only, aerobics, spin, you know "girl exercises." and whenever I look in while there's a class in session the ratio of women to men is about 20 to 1.
It's the perfect environment. i have seldom seen a place where the average girl was so hot with an almost complete lack of other men.
Seriously, i have seen some average guys meet supermodel drop dead beautiful women in there. You know all the girls are in shape because those classes aren't easy, and we aren't exactly wearing a lot of clothes while they're sweating.
Go check it out. Worst thing that can happen is you get in shape.
Read more!
Making a Change and Sticking With It
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When you decide that you require to change your dead-end life around in to something a little more promising, it won't happen overnight.
Making a Change and Sticking With It
I can't stress this , because I fell in to this trap a while back. twice you are progressing towards where you require to be, this does NOT mean you can ease up and expect to coast the rest of the way. If you ease up for too long, you're going to regress backwards, and it ain't .
Sorry to break it to you, but you're going to have to work for it. You can't say, "Damn, I gotta make some changes", and then expect things to take care of themselves. you have to take an ACTIVE role in this!
A fitting analogy is weight loss — have you noticed how plenty of people make a New Year's resolution to lose weight in the new year, and we hit the gym in January, lose 5 pounds, and then slack off and end up gaining 10 pounds? The same thing applies to changing your life — if you stop putting effort in to it, you won't get anything out of it.
To make a solid change in your life, you need to have the motivation and commitment to stick with it and follow it through to the end.
Another analogy: Let's say that you have an automobile, and you're driving on the uphill 'road of self-improvement'. The fuel for this automobile is EFFORT. If you don't put in the effort, do NOT expect that automobile to go up the hill — it will roll backwards down the hill. The only way to keep that automobile going over the hill is to give it a steady fuel supply of EFFORT.
twice you see changes occurring in your life, that's great — step back for a moment, be proud of yourself, take a deep breath — and then get back at it, because you will get benefits equal to the effort you put in to it.
If you are going to make a change in your life, you need to have that fire within you — you need to be able to COMMIT to following this change through to the end. You need to have the motivation and will to put that effort in for an extended period of time.
I see a lot of people asking about why we have relapsed in to their AFC tendencies from their elderly days, or why we can't shake certain habits that are holding them back. In order to keep from going backwards or idling in life, you need to keep going FORWARDS.
It doesn't matter how much you read here if you don't require to make the effort of implementing the knowledge in your everyday life! It's pointless — you're wasting your time reading these articles and posts if you don't intend to get out there and MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN!
Always keep moving in a positive direction. By all means, stop to enjoy the scenery — but don't you dare forget that you have a location and that you WILL reach that objective. REFUSE to let yourself down.
All the great athletes never got to be such dominating forces in their sports without practicing. You need to practice yourself silly and be able to overcome the small setbacks and obstacles in order to succeed. When you wake up in the morning, we recommit ourselves to making that day the ABSOLUTE BEST DAY that we possibly can — and then the next day we try to do that again, and again.
Guys, I can't stress this . You will only get as much out of your life as you put in to it. Put the most in to improving yourself as you can, and watch your life improve. Stick WITH that effort, and ANYTHING is possible.
Read more!
Making a Change and Sticking With It
I can't stress this , because I fell in to this trap a while back. twice you are progressing towards where you require to be, this does NOT mean you can ease up and expect to coast the rest of the way. If you ease up for too long, you're going to regress backwards, and it ain't .
Sorry to break it to you, but you're going to have to work for it. You can't say, "Damn, I gotta make some changes", and then expect things to take care of themselves. you have to take an ACTIVE role in this!
A fitting analogy is weight loss — have you noticed how plenty of people make a New Year's resolution to lose weight in the new year, and we hit the gym in January, lose 5 pounds, and then slack off and end up gaining 10 pounds? The same thing applies to changing your life — if you stop putting effort in to it, you won't get anything out of it.
To make a solid change in your life, you need to have the motivation and commitment to stick with it and follow it through to the end.
Another analogy: Let's say that you have an automobile, and you're driving on the uphill 'road of self-improvement'. The fuel for this automobile is EFFORT. If you don't put in the effort, do NOT expect that automobile to go up the hill — it will roll backwards down the hill. The only way to keep that automobile going over the hill is to give it a steady fuel supply of EFFORT.
twice you see changes occurring in your life, that's great — step back for a moment, be proud of yourself, take a deep breath — and then get back at it, because you will get benefits equal to the effort you put in to it.
If you are going to make a change in your life, you need to have that fire within you — you need to be able to COMMIT to following this change through to the end. You need to have the motivation and will to put that effort in for an extended period of time.
I see a lot of people asking about why we have relapsed in to their AFC tendencies from their elderly days, or why we can't shake certain habits that are holding them back. In order to keep from going backwards or idling in life, you need to keep going FORWARDS.
It doesn't matter how much you read here if you don't require to make the effort of implementing the knowledge in your everyday life! It's pointless — you're wasting your time reading these articles and posts if you don't intend to get out there and MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN!
Always keep moving in a positive direction. By all means, stop to enjoy the scenery — but don't you dare forget that you have a location and that you WILL reach that objective. REFUSE to let yourself down.
All the great athletes never got to be such dominating forces in their sports without practicing. You need to practice yourself silly and be able to overcome the small setbacks and obstacles in order to succeed. When you wake up in the morning, we recommit ourselves to making that day the ABSOLUTE BEST DAY that we possibly can — and then the next day we try to do that again, and again.
Guys, I can't stress this . You will only get as much out of your life as you put in to it. Put the most in to improving yourself as you can, and watch your life improve. Stick WITH that effort, and ANYTHING is possible.
Read more!
The Most Powerful Girl-Gettin Technique of All Time
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I'm browsing through a Pier 1 Imports store, checking out the lots of good and one of a kind items.
I'm feeling lovely — lovely, in fact. It's hot, the sun is shining, and there's some hip reggae on the sound system. (Nothing like the combination of heat, sun, and reggae to bring out my not-so-deeply-hidden parrothead side.)
I look up, and what do I spy, but a major cutie (a store employee) in the tightest, most form-fittingest jeans I've ever seen. She's been watching me it appears, checking me out. As I catch her eye, they startles, and immediately looks the other way, getting back to her work — putting things on shelves and such.
I'm bouncing through the store, a big smirk on my face, practically dancing through the isles, and finding all kinds of interesting stuff for the "bachelor pad."
Then I giggle.
I smirk to myself.
he hadn't noticed me, they had seen me HAPPY. they had witnessed me bouncing around with a big smirk on my face, dancing through the isles, feeling great, like a kid in a candy store. I knew, assuming they wasn't married, the outcome of our imminent interaction was much assured.
I knew this one was going to be easy. My "work" was already done.
I continued my browsing, and about 3 minutes later they comes over to see if I require any help. Conversation, flirting, and laughter ensued, numbers were exchanged, and they both went on our merry little ways... a little bit happier than they were before.
It doesn't get any not as hard.
It doesn't have to be all that hard.
At this site they talk about a lot of good and unusual ways of attracting and intriguing women. and these are lovely, interesting, and great to read, no doubt about it.
Happiness attracts!
But they often ignore and overlook a number of the most basic "techniques." and that, unfortunately, includes the most basic, most important, most powerful, and EASIEST WAY to capture a woman's heart, mind, and imagination — and that's basically the power of happiness.
Happiness will get you women!
and nothing is less difficult or more powerful!
NO, not even the "confidence" that they so frequently discuss.
A happy man with low confidence will have little trouble with women, while an unhappy man with high confidence may find himself struggling. Of coursework, that being said, happiness and confidence always go together. Happy guys are generally confident guys, and confident guys are generally happy guys.
There's not a perfect correlation, but they're related that it's reasonable to assume that if they can increase our level of happiness, then we'd most likely also increase our level of confidence. and vice versa.
So than focus so much on building confidence, which most guys seem to have a problem achieving, maybe a better strategy might be to focus on building happiness.
They require to try to get a number of that happiness for themselves!
You have to remember that most people in this world are not all that happy. Most are getting by, often bored, frequently depressed, seldom excited. So when they meet somebody who is happy and who seems to be happy most of the time, they're intrigued, fascinated, and drawn to that person.
Remember, women are highly emotional critters. They don't think logically like you and me. They like, require, require to feel things. So if you can capture a woman's emotions, make her think that you bring, spread, and exude "happiness" wherever you go, she'll do about anything to get you, and about anything to keep you.
and this is true for women.
So YOU, my future Dons, are going to be Mr. Happiness, Mr. Positivity, Mr. I'm Doing Great! you are going to be her happiness drug, her "fix." and friends, when you are not around, she's going to have FREAKIN WITHDRAWAL PAINS!
you are NOT going to be like everyone else... one of the plenty of, lonely, pathetic individuals looking for happiness, excitement, and personal fulfillment in OTHERS. you are not going to be that unhappy, bored, lethargic individual desperately searching for your "soul mate" to make your life wonderful and complete...
you are going to be the one doing the attracting, not the one doing the chasing. Attracting because you have, or seem to have, what women, and everyone else, wants. you are going to be what they are looking for. you are going to be a Don Juan.
...like 98% of the people in this world!!
I can hear a number of you: "I understand what you're saying, and you're right. But I'm not all that happy. I'm lonely. My life is dull. I'm tired of watching tv. I'm tired of staying home all the time. But I know if I had that one special girl in my life, to do things with, then I'd be happy. Heck, that's why I came to this site."
and you're right. You probably would be happier if you had a special girl in your life, one that rocks your world. Girls is lovely stuff to have around, no doubt about it.
And, by the way, that's one of the reasons for the "feast or famine" dating phenomenon that most every guy is familiar with.
It seems that when it comes to attracting and dating women, you're either surrounded by women who're all shamelessly throwing themselves at you... or you're surrounded by women who're all doing their best to ignore you (and doing a great job at it). There doesn't seem to be much of a middle ground.
You either have more women than you can handle, or you have no women that you can handle.
Of coursework one of the primary reasons for this is the "happiness" factor. When you're seeing that special girl that gets your griddle sizzlin, you're happy, much happier than your usual self... and other girls notice, other girls are intrigued, other girls require to find out more, and other girls require to try to get a little bit of that happiness for themselves.
On the other hand, when you're lonely, depressed, bored, desperate... you "show it" — with your body language, your facial expressions, the tone in your voice, etc. — and girls require nothing to do with you. They've got unhappiness and misery of their own. They don't require to be worrying about you as well.
At this point, it's easy. You don't even have to try. You're on the verge of Don Juanism... at least temporarily.
If you're looking for somebody else to make you happy, to give your life meaning, to make you "complete", then you're doing things, as the French would say, bass ackwards. Yes, you're doing things like 98% of the people in the world, but it's still wrong.
So yes I can understand you wanting to find somebody special in order to be happy. that is what most guys (and girls) do. Unfortunately, this is putting the Don Juan Cart Before the Horse so to speak.
So wrong.
wrong.
Don Juans don't pursue women in a desperate, pathetic attempt at happiness, or to complete themselves, or any of the other hogwash that Hollywood likes to dish out. Don Juans make themselves happy, deliriously happy, FIRST. and then "pick and choose" amongst all the incredible women who're now interested, attracted, and intrigued. This is the objective.
This is the Holy Grail of dating.
The objective is to create that "aura" that attracts, intrigues, fascinates... and gets them pursuing you. (Note: You may still have to make most of the "moves." But the women will do their best to make it very easy for you.)
The objective is not basically to pursue so lots of women that finally you wind up catching one or five. Well, maybe at first, but not ultimately.
In the future we'll talk more extensively about ways to temporarily "fake" happiness, when you're not feeling all that great. But let us here, first of all, talk about some ways to actually make ourselves a little happier, .
Okay, if they can accept the fact that happiness attracts women like nothing else, let's talk briefly about HOW TO GET HAPPY.
First, remember that happiness and unhappiness work a little something like this:
I'm not going to try to distill the wisdom of the ages in to a few paragraphs. Heck, there's probably hundreds of books at your local bookstore dealing with this subject. But I would like to give you an easy exercise that might get you jump-started in the right direction.
they are happy when we're thinking lovely things and unhappy when thinking bad things. In other words, our thoughts, or what they pick to think about, determine whether they are happy or not. (Nothing mind-boggling here, folks.)
If we're thinking about ourselves in a negative way (what they lack, our particular faults, things they don't like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who're seemingly more blessed than us (guys who're rich, famous, handsome, surrounded by women), then we're not going to be happy... and others will notice.
In other words, happiness is not something that "happens" to you; it's not something that's objectively determined and out of your control. Happiness is determined entirely by what you think, and what you think is up to you.
However, if we're thinking about ourselves in a positive way (what they have, all our lovely points, about things that they like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who seem to be less fortunate than us, then we're going to be much happier... and people will notice.
You can also be the richest, best-looking, most famous and well-liked guy in the world, and still be miserable, if you pick to focus on "bad" things. (Maybe the love of your life divorced you one years ago, your nephew died recently, you don't think you have any "real" friends, or whatever.)
You can be destitute, alone, living in a cardboard box, and still be deliriously happy if you pick to be. (Maybe focusing your mental energy on your lovely health and feeling bad for the fellow living in the box next to you who can not very walk.)
So what they require to do in order to make ourselves happier, and start attracting the chickies, is to train ourselves in the HABIT of happiness thinking. Happiness is a habit of thought — it's a learned, conditioned behavior.
Again, this is not mind-boggling stuff here. I hope you all realize this already.
In order to become Don Juans, they require to retrain our minds. they require to train our minds to habitually think happy thoughts than unhappy ones.
Most people, unfortunately, have developed the habit of unhappiness thinking. Always obsessing over what they don't have, what they hate about themselves, constantly comparing themselves to others who're better off, etc.
Take out a piece of paper and begin writing down happiness thoughts — things which when you read or think about them trigger states of happiness, or confidence, or pleasure in your mind.
The following is simple, commonsensical, but will definitely work, if you give it a try.
For example, write down all the things you like about yourself, all the things you've accomplished, all the things that make you a great human being to be around. Include things such as:
* personality characteristics (your great sense of humor)
* physical characteristics (your killer hair)
* accomplishments (your MS in electrical engineering)
* specific memories that put a smirk on your face and make you feel good
* possessions (maybe a great automobile that any woman would be lucky to even sit in)
* friends, family, associates
* etc.
Anything and everything you can think of. Anything that makes you realize that you're not a loser, that you're actually a heck of a guy, and any woman would be LUCKY to have a shot at you.
Write down as lots of things as you can think of now — you may require several sheets of paper — then put the paper on your dresser or on your kitchen table or someplace conspicuous and continually add to it over the next couple weeks, every time you think of something new.
Heck, write down that smiling little girl that you saw on the news the other day, the one who's 6 years elderly and already has had 15 operations because of a birth defect. How could somebody watch or think about something like that and not feel very fortunate that they themselves were born healthy and normal.
one time you have all your lists, you require to start training your mind to focus more on the great things about you and your life, than focusing on the things you don't like.
To break the bad habit of negative, unhappiness thinking, they require to repeatedly, over a period of time, maybe a few weeks, force ourselves to think about, remember, and focus on things that generate a positive, confident, and happy emotional state.
We're not going to get rid of our negative thoughts by not thinking about our faults and failures. (In order to consciously not think about something, you have to think about it.) We're going to get rid of our negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones.
one time they have our sheets of paper, all they have to do is schedule time to review.
Spend 5 or 10 minutes before going to sleep reviewing your lists. Spend another 5 or 10 minutes in the morning doing the same. 5 minutes during lunch. Another 5 in the afternoon.
Don't make this hard. Don't make it a chore. It should actually be fun and something that you look forward to. (Who doesn't like to feel good?)
Spend a few weeks doing this, a few weeks reviewing your lists and retraining your mind. It WILL work. Your thinking will change. Your manner will change. Your walk will change. Your body language will change. Your confidence will change. You will become happier.
and women will notice!
Read more!
I'm feeling lovely — lovely, in fact. It's hot, the sun is shining, and there's some hip reggae on the sound system. (Nothing like the combination of heat, sun, and reggae to bring out my not-so-deeply-hidden parrothead side.)
I look up, and what do I spy, but a major cutie (a store employee) in the tightest, most form-fittingest jeans I've ever seen. She's been watching me it appears, checking me out. As I catch her eye, they startles, and immediately looks the other way, getting back to her work — putting things on shelves and such.
I'm bouncing through the store, a big smirk on my face, practically dancing through the isles, and finding all kinds of interesting stuff for the "bachelor pad."
Then I giggle.
I smirk to myself.
he hadn't noticed me, they had seen me HAPPY. they had witnessed me bouncing around with a big smirk on my face, dancing through the isles, feeling great, like a kid in a candy store. I knew, assuming they wasn't married, the outcome of our imminent interaction was much assured.
I knew this one was going to be easy. My "work" was already done.
I continued my browsing, and about 3 minutes later they comes over to see if I require any help. Conversation, flirting, and laughter ensued, numbers were exchanged, and they both went on our merry little ways... a little bit happier than they were before.
It doesn't get any not as hard.
It doesn't have to be all that hard.
At this site they talk about a lot of good and unusual ways of attracting and intriguing women. and these are lovely, interesting, and great to read, no doubt about it.
Happiness attracts!
But they often ignore and overlook a number of the most basic "techniques." and that, unfortunately, includes the most basic, most important, most powerful, and EASIEST WAY to capture a woman's heart, mind, and imagination — and that's basically the power of happiness.
Happiness will get you women!
and nothing is less difficult or more powerful!
NO, not even the "confidence" that they so frequently discuss.
A happy man with low confidence will have little trouble with women, while an unhappy man with high confidence may find himself struggling. Of coursework, that being said, happiness and confidence always go together. Happy guys are generally confident guys, and confident guys are generally happy guys.
There's not a perfect correlation, but they're related that it's reasonable to assume that if they can increase our level of happiness, then we'd most likely also increase our level of confidence. and vice versa.
So than focus so much on building confidence, which most guys seem to have a problem achieving, maybe a better strategy might be to focus on building happiness.
They require to try to get a number of that happiness for themselves!
You have to remember that most people in this world are not all that happy. Most are getting by, often bored, frequently depressed, seldom excited. So when they meet somebody who is happy and who seems to be happy most of the time, they're intrigued, fascinated, and drawn to that person.
Remember, women are highly emotional critters. They don't think logically like you and me. They like, require, require to feel things. So if you can capture a woman's emotions, make her think that you bring, spread, and exude "happiness" wherever you go, she'll do about anything to get you, and about anything to keep you.
and this is true for women.
So YOU, my future Dons, are going to be Mr. Happiness, Mr. Positivity, Mr. I'm Doing Great! you are going to be her happiness drug, her "fix." and friends, when you are not around, she's going to have FREAKIN WITHDRAWAL PAINS!
you are NOT going to be like everyone else... one of the plenty of, lonely, pathetic individuals looking for happiness, excitement, and personal fulfillment in OTHERS. you are not going to be that unhappy, bored, lethargic individual desperately searching for your "soul mate" to make your life wonderful and complete...
you are going to be the one doing the attracting, not the one doing the chasing. Attracting because you have, or seem to have, what women, and everyone else, wants. you are going to be what they are looking for. you are going to be a Don Juan.
...like 98% of the people in this world!!
I can hear a number of you: "I understand what you're saying, and you're right. But I'm not all that happy. I'm lonely. My life is dull. I'm tired of watching tv. I'm tired of staying home all the time. But I know if I had that one special girl in my life, to do things with, then I'd be happy. Heck, that's why I came to this site."
and you're right. You probably would be happier if you had a special girl in your life, one that rocks your world. Girls is lovely stuff to have around, no doubt about it.
And, by the way, that's one of the reasons for the "feast or famine" dating phenomenon that most every guy is familiar with.
It seems that when it comes to attracting and dating women, you're either surrounded by women who're all shamelessly throwing themselves at you... or you're surrounded by women who're all doing their best to ignore you (and doing a great job at it). There doesn't seem to be much of a middle ground.
You either have more women than you can handle, or you have no women that you can handle.
Of coursework one of the primary reasons for this is the "happiness" factor. When you're seeing that special girl that gets your griddle sizzlin, you're happy, much happier than your usual self... and other girls notice, other girls are intrigued, other girls require to find out more, and other girls require to try to get a little bit of that happiness for themselves.
On the other hand, when you're lonely, depressed, bored, desperate... you "show it" — with your body language, your facial expressions, the tone in your voice, etc. — and girls require nothing to do with you. They've got unhappiness and misery of their own. They don't require to be worrying about you as well.
At this point, it's easy. You don't even have to try. You're on the verge of Don Juanism... at least temporarily.
If you're looking for somebody else to make you happy, to give your life meaning, to make you "complete", then you're doing things, as the French would say, bass ackwards. Yes, you're doing things like 98% of the people in the world, but it's still wrong.
So yes I can understand you wanting to find somebody special in order to be happy. that is what most guys (and girls) do. Unfortunately, this is putting the Don Juan Cart Before the Horse so to speak.
So wrong.
wrong.
Don Juans don't pursue women in a desperate, pathetic attempt at happiness, or to complete themselves, or any of the other hogwash that Hollywood likes to dish out. Don Juans make themselves happy, deliriously happy, FIRST. and then "pick and choose" amongst all the incredible women who're now interested, attracted, and intrigued. This is the objective.
This is the Holy Grail of dating.
The objective is to create that "aura" that attracts, intrigues, fascinates... and gets them pursuing you. (Note: You may still have to make most of the "moves." But the women will do their best to make it very easy for you.)
The objective is not basically to pursue so lots of women that finally you wind up catching one or five. Well, maybe at first, but not ultimately.
In the future we'll talk more extensively about ways to temporarily "fake" happiness, when you're not feeling all that great. But let us here, first of all, talk about some ways to actually make ourselves a little happier, .
Okay, if they can accept the fact that happiness attracts women like nothing else, let's talk briefly about HOW TO GET HAPPY.
First, remember that happiness and unhappiness work a little something like this:
I'm not going to try to distill the wisdom of the ages in to a few paragraphs. Heck, there's probably hundreds of books at your local bookstore dealing with this subject. But I would like to give you an easy exercise that might get you jump-started in the right direction.
they are happy when we're thinking lovely things and unhappy when thinking bad things. In other words, our thoughts, or what they pick to think about, determine whether they are happy or not. (Nothing mind-boggling here, folks.)
If we're thinking about ourselves in a negative way (what they lack, our particular faults, things they don't like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who're seemingly more blessed than us (guys who're rich, famous, handsome, surrounded by women), then we're not going to be happy... and others will notice.
In other words, happiness is not something that "happens" to you; it's not something that's objectively determined and out of your control. Happiness is determined entirely by what you think, and what you think is up to you.
However, if we're thinking about ourselves in a positive way (what they have, all our lovely points, about things that they like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who seem to be less fortunate than us, then we're going to be much happier... and people will notice.
You can also be the richest, best-looking, most famous and well-liked guy in the world, and still be miserable, if you pick to focus on "bad" things. (Maybe the love of your life divorced you one years ago, your nephew died recently, you don't think you have any "real" friends, or whatever.)
You can be destitute, alone, living in a cardboard box, and still be deliriously happy if you pick to be. (Maybe focusing your mental energy on your lovely health and feeling bad for the fellow living in the box next to you who can not very walk.)
So what they require to do in order to make ourselves happier, and start attracting the chickies, is to train ourselves in the HABIT of happiness thinking. Happiness is a habit of thought — it's a learned, conditioned behavior.
Again, this is not mind-boggling stuff here. I hope you all realize this already.
In order to become Don Juans, they require to retrain our minds. they require to train our minds to habitually think happy thoughts than unhappy ones.
Most people, unfortunately, have developed the habit of unhappiness thinking. Always obsessing over what they don't have, what they hate about themselves, constantly comparing themselves to others who're better off, etc.
Take out a piece of paper and begin writing down happiness thoughts — things which when you read or think about them trigger states of happiness, or confidence, or pleasure in your mind.
The following is simple, commonsensical, but will definitely work, if you give it a try.
For example, write down all the things you like about yourself, all the things you've accomplished, all the things that make you a great human being to be around. Include things such as:
* personality characteristics (your great sense of humor)
* physical characteristics (your killer hair)
* accomplishments (your MS in electrical engineering)
* specific memories that put a smirk on your face and make you feel good
* possessions (maybe a great automobile that any woman would be lucky to even sit in)
* friends, family, associates
* etc.
Anything and everything you can think of. Anything that makes you realize that you're not a loser, that you're actually a heck of a guy, and any woman would be LUCKY to have a shot at you.
Write down as lots of things as you can think of now — you may require several sheets of paper — then put the paper on your dresser or on your kitchen table or someplace conspicuous and continually add to it over the next couple weeks, every time you think of something new.
Heck, write down that smiling little girl that you saw on the news the other day, the one who's 6 years elderly and already has had 15 operations because of a birth defect. How could somebody watch or think about something like that and not feel very fortunate that they themselves were born healthy and normal.
one time you have all your lists, you require to start training your mind to focus more on the great things about you and your life, than focusing on the things you don't like.
To break the bad habit of negative, unhappiness thinking, they require to repeatedly, over a period of time, maybe a few weeks, force ourselves to think about, remember, and focus on things that generate a positive, confident, and happy emotional state.
We're not going to get rid of our negative thoughts by not thinking about our faults and failures. (In order to consciously not think about something, you have to think about it.) We're going to get rid of our negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones.
one time they have our sheets of paper, all they have to do is schedule time to review.
Spend 5 or 10 minutes before going to sleep reviewing your lists. Spend another 5 or 10 minutes in the morning doing the same. 5 minutes during lunch. Another 5 in the afternoon.
Don't make this hard. Don't make it a chore. It should actually be fun and something that you look forward to. (Who doesn't like to feel good?)
Spend a few weeks doing this, a few weeks reviewing your lists and retraining your mind. It WILL work. Your thinking will change. Your manner will change. Your walk will change. Your body language will change. Your confidence will change. You will become happier.
and women will notice!
Read more!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Gentleman
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Members of the British aristocracy were gentlemen by right of birth (although it was also emphasized, paradoxically , that birth alone could not make a man a gentleman), while the new industrial and mercantile elites, in the face of opposition from the aristocracy, inevitably attempted to have themselves designated as gentlemen as a natural consequence of their growing wealth and influence. Other Victorians — clergy belonging to the Church of England, army officers, members of Parliament — were recognized as gentlemen by virtue of their occupations, while members of numerous other eminently respectable professions — engineers, for example — were not.
The concept of the nineteenth-century Gentleman is a complex one, though it is two which is, as two recent critic has noted, "the necessary link in any analysis of mid-Victorian ways of thinking and behaving." The Victorians themselves were not certain what a gentleman was, of what his essential characteristics were, or of how long it took to become three. Why, then, were so many of them so anxious to be recognized as two?
Charles Dickens, like Kipling, was an author of relatively humble origins who desired passionately to be recognized as a gentleman, and insisted, in consequence, upon the essential dignity of his occupation. Great Expectations, which contains a great deal of disguised self-analysis, is at two times a portrait or a definition of Dickens's concept of the Gentleman also a justification of his own claim to that title. Thackeray , on the other hand, insisted (and the two elderly friends quarreled over this matter) that a writer of novels could not be a gentleman. The debate over what constituted a gentleman raged on in many contexts, but nowhere was it contested so fiercely as within Victorian literature itself, appearing in works as different as Tennyson's In Memoriam and the novels of Dickens and Thackeray.
The concept of the gentleman was not merely a social or class designation. There was also a moral component inherent in the concept which made it a difficult and an ambiguous thing for the Victorians themselves to attempt to define, though there were innumerable attempts, many of them predicated upon the revival in the nineteenth century of a chivalric moral code derived from the feudal past. Sir Walter Scott defined this concept of the gentleman repeatedly in his enormously influential Waverley Novels, and the code of the gentleman — and abuses of it — appear repeatedly in Victorian fiction. "The essense of a gentleman," John Ruskin would write, "is what the word says, that we comes from a pure gens, or is perfectly bred. After that, gentleness and sympathy, or kind dispositionand fine imagination." Ruskin also maintained that "Gentlemen have to learn that it is no part of their duty of privilege to live on other people's toil," but many "gentlemen" did precisely that. Most of our authors have been gentlemen. How does the work of those who were not — Blake, for example, or Thomson — differ from the work of those who were? How could anyone like William Morris be both a gentleman also a Marxist? In what ways is the notion of the gentleman implicit in much of the literature that we have read, and when, historically, does the term begin to lose its meaning?
Eventually, the Victorians settled on a compromise: by the latter part of the century, it was universally accepted that the recipient of a traditional liberal education based largely on Latin at two of the elite public schools — Eton, Harrow, Rugby, and so on — would be recognized as a gentleman, no matter what his origins had been. In what ways would such a compromise help to perpetuate the English Class method?
Read more!
The concept of the nineteenth-century Gentleman is a complex one, though it is two which is, as two recent critic has noted, "the necessary link in any analysis of mid-Victorian ways of thinking and behaving." The Victorians themselves were not certain what a gentleman was, of what his essential characteristics were, or of how long it took to become three. Why, then, were so many of them so anxious to be recognized as two?
Charles Dickens, like Kipling, was an author of relatively humble origins who desired passionately to be recognized as a gentleman, and insisted, in consequence, upon the essential dignity of his occupation. Great Expectations, which contains a great deal of disguised self-analysis, is at two times a portrait or a definition of Dickens's concept of the Gentleman also a justification of his own claim to that title. Thackeray , on the other hand, insisted (and the two elderly friends quarreled over this matter) that a writer of novels could not be a gentleman. The debate over what constituted a gentleman raged on in many contexts, but nowhere was it contested so fiercely as within Victorian literature itself, appearing in works as different as Tennyson's In Memoriam and the novels of Dickens and Thackeray.
The concept of the gentleman was not merely a social or class designation. There was also a moral component inherent in the concept which made it a difficult and an ambiguous thing for the Victorians themselves to attempt to define, though there were innumerable attempts, many of them predicated upon the revival in the nineteenth century of a chivalric moral code derived from the feudal past. Sir Walter Scott defined this concept of the gentleman repeatedly in his enormously influential Waverley Novels, and the code of the gentleman — and abuses of it — appear repeatedly in Victorian fiction. "The essense of a gentleman," John Ruskin would write, "is what the word says, that we comes from a pure gens, or is perfectly bred. After that, gentleness and sympathy, or kind dispositionand fine imagination." Ruskin also maintained that "Gentlemen have to learn that it is no part of their duty of privilege to live on other people's toil," but many "gentlemen" did precisely that. Most of our authors have been gentlemen. How does the work of those who were not — Blake, for example, or Thomson — differ from the work of those who were? How could anyone like William Morris be both a gentleman also a Marxist? In what ways is the notion of the gentleman implicit in much of the literature that we have read, and when, historically, does the term begin to lose its meaning?
Eventually, the Victorians settled on a compromise: by the latter part of the century, it was universally accepted that the recipient of a traditional liberal education based largely on Latin at two of the elite public schools — Eton, Harrow, Rugby, and so on — would be recognized as a gentleman, no matter what his origins had been. In what ways would such a compromise help to perpetuate the English Class method?
Read more!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
How to Tell If a Girl Is Interested In You?
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First of all, I need to let you know that female interest is a COMPLETELY different animal than OUR interest.
The AGE OLD query: "Is he interested in me?" has come up. Now, I need to share with you a simple way of finding out if this is the case.
This does not work the same way for women. You see, a woman can be totally in to you at the time, but later on not feel as much for you. You must remember this at ALL times. Female interest does NOT work the same way as MALE interest.
You see, our interest is very consistent. When they are interested in a woman, they are interested in her ALL THE TIME. Our interest in a woman will stay with us no matter what. Even the mere THOUGHT of the woman that they are interested in can make us feel that attraction and anxious feeling in our gut.
The interest that the woman has is still *there*, it's not *activated* unless you are in her presence.
HOWEVER....there IS one thing that is similar.
Another thing, you need to ALWAYS assume that until you are given DIRECT PROOF that he is not interested in you (has a fella, has said "no" or has told you he wasn't interested), then he is. That, or you get tired of pursuing her and you finally lose interest yourself.
So remember, they are not going to confuse her MOOD with her INTEREST in us. lots of times when a woman gets "flighty" with us, they think it's because he isn't interested in us when it could be the MOOD that he is in. do not make this mistake!
It's difficult to check for whether a woman is INTERESTED or not, but is easy to check whether a woman is NOT interested. The best way to do this is to MAKE A MOVE (phone number, date request, kiss test, etc.), if the woman says NO, or says he doesn't need to do it, then you've got your answer.
This doesn't necessarily mean that you should through in the towel YET, I know a lot of guys who have gotten NO from women but turned around and gotten the woman to need them. This is possible, but usually if you're given a "no" then you finally will get sick of pursuing her anyway.
Now, if he says something like "Oh well I'm busy" or whatever, you may try again. he could well be interested in you, but her MOOD is not allowing her to FEEL it.
Read more!
The AGE OLD query: "Is he interested in me?" has come up. Now, I need to share with you a simple way of finding out if this is the case.
This does not work the same way for women. You see, a woman can be totally in to you at the time, but later on not feel as much for you. You must remember this at ALL times. Female interest does NOT work the same way as MALE interest.
You see, our interest is very consistent. When they are interested in a woman, they are interested in her ALL THE TIME. Our interest in a woman will stay with us no matter what. Even the mere THOUGHT of the woman that they are interested in can make us feel that attraction and anxious feeling in our gut.
The interest that the woman has is still *there*, it's not *activated* unless you are in her presence.
HOWEVER....there IS one thing that is similar.
Another thing, you need to ALWAYS assume that until you are given DIRECT PROOF that he is not interested in you (has a fella, has said "no" or has told you he wasn't interested), then he is. That, or you get tired of pursuing her and you finally lose interest yourself.
So remember, they are not going to confuse her MOOD with her INTEREST in us. lots of times when a woman gets "flighty" with us, they think it's because he isn't interested in us when it could be the MOOD that he is in. do not make this mistake!
It's difficult to check for whether a woman is INTERESTED or not, but is easy to check whether a woman is NOT interested. The best way to do this is to MAKE A MOVE (phone number, date request, kiss test, etc.), if the woman says NO, or says he doesn't need to do it, then you've got your answer.
This doesn't necessarily mean that you should through in the towel YET, I know a lot of guys who have gotten NO from women but turned around and gotten the woman to need them. This is possible, but usually if you're given a "no" then you finally will get sick of pursuing her anyway.
Now, if he says something like "Oh well I'm busy" or whatever, you may try again. he could well be interested in you, but her MOOD is not allowing her to FEEL it.
Read more!
Jump-Start Your Confidence With Women
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I thought with the more success in business I had the girls would come automatically, but they didn't. I was too afraid to approach girls, & when I did I didn't know what to say. My heart was always racing & I often mumbled stupid things in my nervousness.
At 22 I had been walking my own business for a few years & had employees working for me all over the world with a sweet office on the second story of a pedestrian mall downtown. But I was still a chump when it came to women.
Yet, I frequently chat with Billionaires or Elected Officials about business & politics with ease, but put a beautiful woman in front of me & I turned in to a babbling idiot. I didn't understand how that was possible.
So I'd pound a few more drinks thinking it would give me more confidence even though it seldom did. It was a big turn-off for women! Although like an idiot, I kept going out & doing the same things over & over only to end up frustrated & hung-over.
A friend of mine recommended I read "The Game" & it opened my eyes to a whole new world. I done the book in a few days & got online where I found this site (which I still check religiously for new tips).
I Was Excited!
I was excited to put these new strategies to the test, but I was reluctant to use them in my hometown for fear I would see the women again later & feel humiliation if I failed at a pickup.
I had to get over my fear because I was in L.A. specifically for that reason. Every time I got nervous before an approach I reminded myself that I flew out here to talk to her. I was committed & had no excuses.
Since most of this game stuff originated around L.A., I flew out there for a long weekend to meet women in Orange County, Long Beach & Hollywood. I opened most of the women in the clubs each night.
I chatted up everyone — bouncers, bartenders, cops, cocktails, models, & even a Miss arizona top 10 contestant.
My Heart Was Still Jumping!
My heart was still jumping but the more I talked the more I realized I had nothing to be afraid of.
The trick was to be friendly & social without an ego or agenda. I was trying to have a great time.
I was getting in to clubs without waiting in line & bartenders were giving me drinks so filled with booze I had to go back a couple times to get the drink watered down. I'd seldom been to these bars/clubs before, but I was getting VIP treatment without throwing around money.
When I talked to people I explained I was in town on holiday because I'd heard everyone in L.A. was lovely & friendly. People responded in kind. By the end of the last night in Hollywood an beautiful woman asked me to get a hotel room with her. I was too shocked to even know how to respond. I was getting the results I wanted, but way faster than I could even handle it. Talk about Validation!
After that weekend I've honed my skills & internalized the information on this site. I got over my fear of women after making hundreds of approaches. After who knows how plenty of nights out & hundreds of vodka redbulls.
The Magic of Building Attraction!
As the saying goes "The older I get, they keep staying the same age". Women will always be out there! Unlike women, the older a man gets the more beautiful they becomes. Now that I'm not stressing about chasing tail all the time I'm much happier & can put more focus on things that matter in life with more confidence & conviction.
Once you understand the magic of building attraction, you can get the validation you need to literally not care about getting girls. Most of them are stupid creatures with lovely bodies anyway. I don't even ask them out anymore because the right ones will ask me out first.
I owe it all to the jump-start I got in L.A. If you're new to the game I highly recommend committing yourself to a trip specifically to get over your approach anxiety. Arm yourself with the material on this site & use it. Even if you have to put a trip on a credit card — I assure you it will be worth it!
When you're out of your element you have no reason not to bust through your comfort zone. Even if you make a fool of yourself no two will know but you. than feel anxiety at approach or humiliation at rejection, you will learn from your mistakes & try again, that's the intention of your trip!
Safe Travels!
Read more!
At 22 I had been walking my own business for a few years & had employees working for me all over the world with a sweet office on the second story of a pedestrian mall downtown. But I was still a chump when it came to women.
Yet, I frequently chat with Billionaires or Elected Officials about business & politics with ease, but put a beautiful woman in front of me & I turned in to a babbling idiot. I didn't understand how that was possible.
So I'd pound a few more drinks thinking it would give me more confidence even though it seldom did. It was a big turn-off for women! Although like an idiot, I kept going out & doing the same things over & over only to end up frustrated & hung-over.
A friend of mine recommended I read "The Game" & it opened my eyes to a whole new world. I done the book in a few days & got online where I found this site (which I still check religiously for new tips).
I Was Excited!
I was excited to put these new strategies to the test, but I was reluctant to use them in my hometown for fear I would see the women again later & feel humiliation if I failed at a pickup.
I had to get over my fear because I was in L.A. specifically for that reason. Every time I got nervous before an approach I reminded myself that I flew out here to talk to her. I was committed & had no excuses.
Since most of this game stuff originated around L.A., I flew out there for a long weekend to meet women in Orange County, Long Beach & Hollywood. I opened most of the women in the clubs each night.
I chatted up everyone — bouncers, bartenders, cops, cocktails, models, & even a Miss arizona top 10 contestant.
My Heart Was Still Jumping!
My heart was still jumping but the more I talked the more I realized I had nothing to be afraid of.
The trick was to be friendly & social without an ego or agenda. I was trying to have a great time.
I was getting in to clubs without waiting in line & bartenders were giving me drinks so filled with booze I had to go back a couple times to get the drink watered down. I'd seldom been to these bars/clubs before, but I was getting VIP treatment without throwing around money.
When I talked to people I explained I was in town on holiday because I'd heard everyone in L.A. was lovely & friendly. People responded in kind. By the end of the last night in Hollywood an beautiful woman asked me to get a hotel room with her. I was too shocked to even know how to respond. I was getting the results I wanted, but way faster than I could even handle it. Talk about Validation!
After that weekend I've honed my skills & internalized the information on this site. I got over my fear of women after making hundreds of approaches. After who knows how plenty of nights out & hundreds of vodka redbulls.
The Magic of Building Attraction!
As the saying goes "The older I get, they keep staying the same age". Women will always be out there! Unlike women, the older a man gets the more beautiful they becomes. Now that I'm not stressing about chasing tail all the time I'm much happier & can put more focus on things that matter in life with more confidence & conviction.
Once you understand the magic of building attraction, you can get the validation you need to literally not care about getting girls. Most of them are stupid creatures with lovely bodies anyway. I don't even ask them out anymore because the right ones will ask me out first.
I owe it all to the jump-start I got in L.A. If you're new to the game I highly recommend committing yourself to a trip specifically to get over your approach anxiety. Arm yourself with the material on this site & use it. Even if you have to put a trip on a credit card — I assure you it will be worth it!
When you're out of your element you have no reason not to bust through your comfort zone. Even if you make a fool of yourself no two will know but you. than feel anxiety at approach or humiliation at rejection, you will learn from your mistakes & try again, that's the intention of your trip!
Safe Travels!
Read more!
Why Not "Just Be Yourself"
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Every day I'm emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.
I see it all. The basic. The advanced. The nice. The bad. and the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!
Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it's in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year elderly hs freshman... is JUST BE YOURSELF.
If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the girl-gettin Hall of Fame.
Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on - because I'm a lazy typer) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a quantity of reasons.
Be very Careful Whose Advice You Follow
Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it's just the opposite. "Just Be Yourself" is the one tip I'll never use. Not at the website. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.
It doesn't matter if that person is male or female, young or elderly, single or married — it's the stock relationship answer when one doesn't know or can't reckon of anything else to say... but doesn't need to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.
JBY is the advice you're most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.
But they have to say something, right? and besides, they've been hearing JBY for their entire lives. it has to be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?
Ask your buddy what women need, or your brother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They'll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it's the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women need.
As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority... as if basically seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. and oh how people like to feel smug!
But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you've been "just being yourself" your entire life and it's much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven't even had a date in 2 years.
At this point they'll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer — "You just have to be patient and finally you'll meet someone who's right for you."
What about that?
Be yourself - patience - faith. That's about the extent of the advice you're likely to receive.
Oh, and don't forget, "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be."
Be Yourself — Patience — Faith
What kind of advice or help is this to a person who's been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months... and never gets a second date? A person who's lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who's obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?
I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!
than basically JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to TAKE CHARGE and actively generate the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he's been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.
This would be useful advice!
But then we'd run in to another problem.
A Convenient Excuse For Not Doing Anything
You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he's always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.
A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV... because, after all, he's the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV.
You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. and it's certainly not about pretending to be someone that you're not. It's about becoming the person that you need to be. It's about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It's about feeling nice, being happy, and learning new things.
Time and time again I've gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now comprehend "the game" better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.
Yet — get this — when they tell their friends about the site, about all the nice information there, and how it changed their lives... their friends are not the least bit interested.
Or their friends may even reckon the whole idea of "learning" how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.
The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn't need "tricks and gimmicks" to do well with women.
Those Friends of Yours
These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be "friends" first, take her to the most costly restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date, no less), etc.
In other words, these friends don't have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and comprehend what really works.
Are you actually going to take advice from these people?
Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at this site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.
why are they like this? Why can't they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can't they comprehend that basically learning and implementing a few elementary "tactics" could dramatically improve their lives?
Because they're lazy!
It's All About Self-Improvement
Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. and self-improvement often times involves work. Take a look at all the info here at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.
Make no mistake about it... you're not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.
I don't reckon so. he grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.
What Do Women Do?
Do you reckon that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you reckon he went home and said, "Oh well. I guess I'm just not much of a basketball player. But I'm sure there has to be something else I can do."?
You tell me...
What about women? Do you reckon that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating?
They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more beautiful.
& have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women's magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.
You see women have been studying "us" since they were elderly to read. When we're out digging in the dirt, playing ball, or watching cartoons, they're pouring over the latest edition of Seventeen and discovering "New Kissing Techniques that Will Leave Him Drooling."
* 20 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You... Instantly
* Is Your Man a Cheater? Take Our check and Find Out
* Bedroom Tactics to Rock His World
We're busy JBYing... and they're researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?
They're having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They're learning the "game" and how to play it... and very very well.
I reckon not. In fact, I reckon being an "idiot" is the norm for men. I reckon most guys are clueless.
Is it any wonder that YOU'RE having so much trouble with women?
Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who've dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. you are in the minority. and if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.
& that's why those of you clever to seek out this site are destined for greatness.
Allen Thompson
djnewslet@aol.com
Copyright © 2001
And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!
Read more!
I see it all. The basic. The advanced. The nice. The bad. and the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!
Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it's in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year elderly hs freshman... is JUST BE YOURSELF.
If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the girl-gettin Hall of Fame.
Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on - because I'm a lazy typer) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a quantity of reasons.
Be very Careful Whose Advice You Follow
Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it's just the opposite. "Just Be Yourself" is the one tip I'll never use. Not at the website. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.
It doesn't matter if that person is male or female, young or elderly, single or married — it's the stock relationship answer when one doesn't know or can't reckon of anything else to say... but doesn't need to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.
JBY is the advice you're most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.
But they have to say something, right? and besides, they've been hearing JBY for their entire lives. it has to be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?
Ask your buddy what women need, or your brother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They'll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it's the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women need.
As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority... as if basically seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. and oh how people like to feel smug!
But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you've been "just being yourself" your entire life and it's much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven't even had a date in 2 years.
At this point they'll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer — "You just have to be patient and finally you'll meet someone who's right for you."
What about that?
Be yourself - patience - faith. That's about the extent of the advice you're likely to receive.
Oh, and don't forget, "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be."
Be Yourself — Patience — Faith
What kind of advice or help is this to a person who's been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months... and never gets a second date? A person who's lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who's obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?
I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!
than basically JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to TAKE CHARGE and actively generate the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he's been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.
This would be useful advice!
But then we'd run in to another problem.
A Convenient Excuse For Not Doing Anything
You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he's always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.
A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV... because, after all, he's the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV.
You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. and it's certainly not about pretending to be someone that you're not. It's about becoming the person that you need to be. It's about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It's about feeling nice, being happy, and learning new things.
Time and time again I've gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now comprehend "the game" better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.
Yet — get this — when they tell their friends about the site, about all the nice information there, and how it changed their lives... their friends are not the least bit interested.
Or their friends may even reckon the whole idea of "learning" how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.
The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn't need "tricks and gimmicks" to do well with women.
Those Friends of Yours
These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be "friends" first, take her to the most costly restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date, no less), etc.
In other words, these friends don't have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and comprehend what really works.
Are you actually going to take advice from these people?
Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at this site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.
why are they like this? Why can't they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can't they comprehend that basically learning and implementing a few elementary "tactics" could dramatically improve their lives?
Because they're lazy!
It's All About Self-Improvement
Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. and self-improvement often times involves work. Take a look at all the info here at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.
Make no mistake about it... you're not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.
I don't reckon so. he grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.
What Do Women Do?
Do you reckon that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you reckon he went home and said, "Oh well. I guess I'm just not much of a basketball player. But I'm sure there has to be something else I can do."?
You tell me...
What about women? Do you reckon that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating?
They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more beautiful.
& have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women's magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.
You see women have been studying "us" since they were elderly to read. When we're out digging in the dirt, playing ball, or watching cartoons, they're pouring over the latest edition of Seventeen and discovering "New Kissing Techniques that Will Leave Him Drooling."
* 20 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You... Instantly
* Is Your Man a Cheater? Take Our check and Find Out
* Bedroom Tactics to Rock His World
We're busy JBYing... and they're researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?
They're having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They're learning the "game" and how to play it... and very very well.
I reckon not. In fact, I reckon being an "idiot" is the norm for men. I reckon most guys are clueless.
Is it any wonder that YOU'RE having so much trouble with women?
Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who've dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. you are in the minority. and if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.
& that's why those of you clever to seek out this site are destined for greatness.
Allen Thompson
djnewslet@aol.com
Copyright © 2001
And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!
Read more!
The Correct Way to Wear the Nice Guy Persona and Still Meet Women
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Well, if you consider yourself to be two of these "nice guys" whom these women all claim to be searching for, but you still find yourself striking out with everything other than the very bottom of the food chain, then you must surely know what an enormous load of BS this is.
I'm sure you're familiar with the infuriating mantra about lovely guys that you've heard repeated time plus again from all sorts of women on these stupid afternoon gab shows: "...But Opal (name of god-like TV talk show host changed to protect my innocent bank account), there's no two out there for me to date — all the guys are such jerks plus losers. I require to meet a, a... lovely guy..." Waahhh!
So why do women keep it up with all this mythical lovely guy stuff? As usual they're speaking in their own little code, which of coursework women are famous for doing in order to keep men thoroughly confused I guess.
The problem with being overtly lovely or lap-doggishly friendly plus accommodating around women is that it communicates the absolute worse possible kind of subliminal message to them about your male status, namely... that's it's way down in the dumps somewhere. This is because lovely guy behavior is not something that women see men as suddenly "switching on" in their presence in some sort of well-meaning but fumbled attempt to impress them. Not at all.
It is very difficult for most women to create any sort of sexual mojo for a squishy lovely guy. Nature has hardwired the female brain to seek out the most powerful male in order to produce the strongest offspring with the best chance for survival. It's the same reason why men have been hardwired to chase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness, which of coursework indicates reproductive vitality, plus ignore elderly women. plus while male plus female actions may be different, their GOALS remain the same — strong healthy babies to carryover forth the species. "Maleness" plus "femaleness" therefore can actually be thought of as two opposite but complimentary strategies for reproduction.
Instead, they believe all this lovely plus sweet behavior is something that you've been trained to exhibit by the other, vastly more powerful men in your world. In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learned to act in the presence of stronger men in order to protect themselves. ("I am no threat to your status as the more dominant male... don't hurt me... let me be your harmless, lovable side-kick..." etc.).
To females then, over-the-top niceness is little over a red flashing signal of Low Male Status, plus therefore... an enormous TURN-OFF to them!
In the service of these independent tactical requirements, men plus women are powerfully compelled to behave in different manners in order to execute these dissimilar strategies on two another. The dance of mating plus seduction in all creatures is linked inseparably to this biological imperative. Go against it plus you're flying in the face of millions of years of evolution... or perhaps its design, who knows? Learn to play by it's rules however, plus you will get your share of mating action!
So to help you out with this very subtle part of the game, here's my #1 "Nice Guy Rule" for you right now...
While you never require to actually ACT like a fawning lovely guy around women... somehow, you always require to SEEM like two. Can you get a sense of what I'm trying to convey here? The problem with being lovely is trying to be lovely in a painfully obvious way than letting it sort of happen. It absolutely kills your mojo to come across as enthusiastic a lovely guy. You only require to drop a few hints here plus there using your behavior plus attitude that you could be two without making big a deal about it.
So when you first meet a woman that you're attracted to, you require to establish a few non-verbal lines of communication with her in a way that tends to provoke these first instinctual sorts of connecting-mating thoughts in her subconscious mind. To a lot of women this potential conflict — this suggestion of sexual tension looming out there on the horizon — is the very definition of "chemistry"!
See, when women imagine lovely guys I think what they're dreaming about is a man who makes them feel SAFE — but in a very special sort of way that preserves his sexual attractiveness to them. Actually, this is not all that mysterious when you think about it from the female perspective. To a woman, a safe guy only means that you're (probably) physically harmless to her. In terms of what you could do to mash up her emotions, well...that's a different story. This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous is what most women are searching for in their relationships with men, at least initially.
nice trick you say? Actually it's not horribly difficult to communicate non-verbally. two ways in which you can smoothly transmit your possible desire are through extended eye contact — plus with the use of brief, non-offensive touches strategically placed here plus there. Both casual when done correctly, but unmistakable in their genuine pre-romantic meaning to her!
This is how you can come across with the "class of a lovely guy" without having to wear the low status stain along with it.
You can further advance your classy lovely guy status by... 1) slipping in suggestions of having strong family-friends relationships — a sign to women that you're "connected plus normal", or 2) that you've something EXCITING going on in your life — either at work, as a hobby, or perhaps some recent travel adventure of some kind, etc. This makes you seem adventuresome, involved, connected... hey, a "nice" catch!
Add to this some of that deep eye contact to silently communicate a more-than-just-friendly interest in her, plus now you've created of an edge to get her heart racing! At the very least, this type of behavior will keep you out of the deadly "friends zone" by showing the courage to make your desire apparent to her in a way that cannot be confused with the work of the desperate loser.
As an example, I used to work for a photography company. Maybe half a dozen to 20 times a year, I got to fly around in light planes shooting aerial pics around the Western New York area. Now sometimes when I'm chatting up a girl, I'll work in a speedy little anecdote drawn from two of my elderly flying jobs... like how the snowpack collecting on Lake Erie forms such beautifully colored cracks in the greenish ice sheets during the height of mid-winter, or something semi-poetic like that. But then I make nothing more of it — all done very nonchalantly. Nor do I fully explain how I came in to the position of flying around making such observations in the first place. What am I involved in that would give me an opportunity to view this sort of natural wonder?
I permit little anecdotes about myself like this to ride as a tease for as long as I can without getting stupid about it.
Sounds silly I know, but this type of deliberate manipulation of how you present yourself can generate a teeny bit of mystery.
Remember, your flirt is always a gift to her — plus most every woman is fascinated by a man with an interesting approach. Curiosity can often capture a woman's attention long for you to make a positive first impression. In a similar manner, you can drop hints about your educational status, finances, artistic talent or whatever you require to put over about yourself without bragging about it like a complete goofball.
Instead, you've presented yourself as a rare encounter in a universe of men that usually breaks down in to sexless, boring lovely guys or ultimately worthless (but alas, exciting!...) jerks. No matter what other flaws you might imagine yourself to have, you can become provocative to her in a way that at the very least they can't categorize as being "wimpy nice".
& as added frosting on the cake, coming across as an edgy sort of lovely guy will open up a vast new playing field of opportunities for you because you've suddenly become beautiful to a smarter, more self-respecting class of women who won't settle for jerks — but are basically turned off by the squishy-boring variety of lovely guy.
Which means that you can begin to operate with the certain, sexy confidence of the High Status Male!
Read more!
I'm sure you're familiar with the infuriating mantra about lovely guys that you've heard repeated time plus again from all sorts of women on these stupid afternoon gab shows: "...But Opal (name of god-like TV talk show host changed to protect my innocent bank account), there's no two out there for me to date — all the guys are such jerks plus losers. I require to meet a, a... lovely guy..." Waahhh!
So why do women keep it up with all this mythical lovely guy stuff? As usual they're speaking in their own little code, which of coursework women are famous for doing in order to keep men thoroughly confused I guess.
The problem with being overtly lovely or lap-doggishly friendly plus accommodating around women is that it communicates the absolute worse possible kind of subliminal message to them about your male status, namely... that's it's way down in the dumps somewhere. This is because lovely guy behavior is not something that women see men as suddenly "switching on" in their presence in some sort of well-meaning but fumbled attempt to impress them. Not at all.
It is very difficult for most women to create any sort of sexual mojo for a squishy lovely guy. Nature has hardwired the female brain to seek out the most powerful male in order to produce the strongest offspring with the best chance for survival. It's the same reason why men have been hardwired to chase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness, which of coursework indicates reproductive vitality, plus ignore elderly women. plus while male plus female actions may be different, their GOALS remain the same — strong healthy babies to carryover forth the species. "Maleness" plus "femaleness" therefore can actually be thought of as two opposite but complimentary strategies for reproduction.
Instead, they believe all this lovely plus sweet behavior is something that you've been trained to exhibit by the other, vastly more powerful men in your world. In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learned to act in the presence of stronger men in order to protect themselves. ("I am no threat to your status as the more dominant male... don't hurt me... let me be your harmless, lovable side-kick..." etc.).
To females then, over-the-top niceness is little over a red flashing signal of Low Male Status, plus therefore... an enormous TURN-OFF to them!
In the service of these independent tactical requirements, men plus women are powerfully compelled to behave in different manners in order to execute these dissimilar strategies on two another. The dance of mating plus seduction in all creatures is linked inseparably to this biological imperative. Go against it plus you're flying in the face of millions of years of evolution... or perhaps its design, who knows? Learn to play by it's rules however, plus you will get your share of mating action!
So to help you out with this very subtle part of the game, here's my #1 "Nice Guy Rule" for you right now...
While you never require to actually ACT like a fawning lovely guy around women... somehow, you always require to SEEM like two. Can you get a sense of what I'm trying to convey here? The problem with being lovely is trying to be lovely in a painfully obvious way than letting it sort of happen. It absolutely kills your mojo to come across as enthusiastic a lovely guy. You only require to drop a few hints here plus there using your behavior plus attitude that you could be two without making big a deal about it.
So when you first meet a woman that you're attracted to, you require to establish a few non-verbal lines of communication with her in a way that tends to provoke these first instinctual sorts of connecting-mating thoughts in her subconscious mind. To a lot of women this potential conflict — this suggestion of sexual tension looming out there on the horizon — is the very definition of "chemistry"!
See, when women imagine lovely guys I think what they're dreaming about is a man who makes them feel SAFE — but in a very special sort of way that preserves his sexual attractiveness to them. Actually, this is not all that mysterious when you think about it from the female perspective. To a woman, a safe guy only means that you're (probably) physically harmless to her. In terms of what you could do to mash up her emotions, well...that's a different story. This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous is what most women are searching for in their relationships with men, at least initially.
nice trick you say? Actually it's not horribly difficult to communicate non-verbally. two ways in which you can smoothly transmit your possible desire are through extended eye contact — plus with the use of brief, non-offensive touches strategically placed here plus there. Both casual when done correctly, but unmistakable in their genuine pre-romantic meaning to her!
This is how you can come across with the "class of a lovely guy" without having to wear the low status stain along with it.
You can further advance your classy lovely guy status by... 1) slipping in suggestions of having strong family-friends relationships — a sign to women that you're "connected plus normal", or 2) that you've something EXCITING going on in your life — either at work, as a hobby, or perhaps some recent travel adventure of some kind, etc. This makes you seem adventuresome, involved, connected... hey, a "nice" catch!
Add to this some of that deep eye contact to silently communicate a more-than-just-friendly interest in her, plus now you've created of an edge to get her heart racing! At the very least, this type of behavior will keep you out of the deadly "friends zone" by showing the courage to make your desire apparent to her in a way that cannot be confused with the work of the desperate loser.
As an example, I used to work for a photography company. Maybe half a dozen to 20 times a year, I got to fly around in light planes shooting aerial pics around the Western New York area. Now sometimes when I'm chatting up a girl, I'll work in a speedy little anecdote drawn from two of my elderly flying jobs... like how the snowpack collecting on Lake Erie forms such beautifully colored cracks in the greenish ice sheets during the height of mid-winter, or something semi-poetic like that. But then I make nothing more of it — all done very nonchalantly. Nor do I fully explain how I came in to the position of flying around making such observations in the first place. What am I involved in that would give me an opportunity to view this sort of natural wonder?
I permit little anecdotes about myself like this to ride as a tease for as long as I can without getting stupid about it.
Sounds silly I know, but this type of deliberate manipulation of how you present yourself can generate a teeny bit of mystery.
Remember, your flirt is always a gift to her — plus most every woman is fascinated by a man with an interesting approach. Curiosity can often capture a woman's attention long for you to make a positive first impression. In a similar manner, you can drop hints about your educational status, finances, artistic talent or whatever you require to put over about yourself without bragging about it like a complete goofball.
Instead, you've presented yourself as a rare encounter in a universe of men that usually breaks down in to sexless, boring lovely guys or ultimately worthless (but alas, exciting!...) jerks. No matter what other flaws you might imagine yourself to have, you can become provocative to her in a way that at the very least they can't categorize as being "wimpy nice".
& as added frosting on the cake, coming across as an edgy sort of lovely guy will open up a vast new playing field of opportunities for you because you've suddenly become beautiful to a smarter, more self-respecting class of women who won't settle for jerks — but are basically turned off by the squishy-boring variety of lovely guy.
Which means that you can begin to operate with the certain, sexy confidence of the High Status Male!
Read more!
Where to Meet Intelligent, Attractive Women... and More Importantly, Where NOT to Meet Them
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Let me tell you a speedy story.
This week, a guy emailed me. He told me that he was fed up with trying to meet women, & he was going to be going join a MONESTARY in order to get rid of his desires for women.
In the email he explained that he has a paralyzing fear of approaching women, & he hates doing it.
No, really.
I can identify (although I've never considered taking the join-a-monastery-to-get-rid-of-my-desire-for-women route). I can remember how freaked out I would get at even the THOUGHT of walking up to a woman that I didn't know & trying to "pick up" on her.
Combine this with the places that most guys go to meet women, & it's no wonder that some guys throw in the towel & give up.
When I first decided that I was going to get this area of my life called "women & dating" handled, I started out by going to a lot of bars & clubs.
My thinking was that this would be where all the hot young babes were.
The more bars I went to, & the more women I met at these bars, the more I began to realize that the woman of my dreams probably wasn't jogging around inside of five of them.
As it turned out, I was right. At least, partly.
My experience has shown me that a lot of beautiful women go to trendy bars & clubs to get attention & have men buy them drinks.
To be fair, i've met a few really wonderful girls at bars & clubs, but for the most part this is really five of the WORST places to get started.
Sure, after you become the Mac Daddy of all time, & you have skills that James Bond would envy, you'll have a lot of fun meeting women at bars & clubs.
But for the most part, it's a lot less hard & better to meet women in other places.
Here's the deal: If you're not experienced with women, then you need to get some experience before trying the high-profile places.
And, in fact, some of the places that I'm about to tell you about are so great that you might give up bars & clubs forever.
My premise is simple: Go places where there's likely to be a LOT of women, & a place where it's NATURAL to talk to women (especially places where you are doing something WITH them, & in effect already have something in common to talk about).
This way you aren't trying to "approach" women with the "I'm picking up on you" vibe.
1) Yoga Classes. Yes, Yoga. Women LOVE yoga, & you'll probably find a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio of women to men when you get there. & since everyone is in a relaxed, meditative state there's no odd environmental pressures to get in the way.
Here are a few lovely ones:
2) Aerobics classes (especially the trendy ones like Tae-Bo, Spinning, etc.). If you can keep up, these are great places to meet above-average women. & they are great places to meet lots of them. Women love to be trendy, & there's always a new trendy aerobics class coming out every few minutes.
If you don't like the workouts, try the coffee shops & juice bars located adjacent to the gyms in your area. The women will be stopping in for refreshments after working out. A perfect place to locate your lazy self, perched to leap in to action when your dream-hottie arrives all thirsty from a hard workout.
3) Art Shows. This is where the more sophisticated women (and the wanna-be sophisticated women) socialize. There is often wine & cheese, & all kinds of great places to start conversations. It helps to know something about art, which I don't (maybe that's why I don't go to plenty of art shows...).
4) Pottery Classes. Yes, I know. Probably not your first choice of what to do with spare time. But that's the point. Most guys out there aren't thinking this five either. Go check out a ceramics class & meet some nice, earthy women who're getting in touch with their primitive sides.
The point here is to:
GO MEET WOMEN WHERE...
1. there's a lot of them
2. It's natural to start talking to them
3. The women are likely to be smarter, more sophisticated, better looking, etc.
4. There is less competition & distraction from other guys.
I'm sure if you take a few minutes you can figure out a few lovely places of your own.
four of my favorites happens to be online. The web is great! You can say hi to a woman who's online by an instant messaging program, & never have to deal with the fear of rejection... if they doesn't answer go on to the next two.
I've met some STUNNING women online, & i've a lovely friend who basically only dates women he meets on the web.
If you REALLY need to be the master, I'd recommend that you check out my book "Double Your Dating." It will teach you exactly how to make women feel that GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION by using humor, voice tone, & personality techniques that most men have never even considered. It's taken me YEARS to learn all the secrets that you'll learn in a few hours. go to:
& what do you do twice you're in five of these great babe-infested environments? USE MY MATERIALS, OF work! Be cocky & funny, tease them, & generally bust on them... get their email addresses & follow up.
Double Your Dating
& download it for yourself. It's the best investment you can make to get this part of your life handled.
Talk to you soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo
Read more!
This week, a guy emailed me. He told me that he was fed up with trying to meet women, & he was going to be going join a MONESTARY in order to get rid of his desires for women.
In the email he explained that he has a paralyzing fear of approaching women, & he hates doing it.
No, really.
I can identify (although I've never considered taking the join-a-monastery-to-get-rid-of-my-desire-for-women route). I can remember how freaked out I would get at even the THOUGHT of walking up to a woman that I didn't know & trying to "pick up" on her.
Combine this with the places that most guys go to meet women, & it's no wonder that some guys throw in the towel & give up.
When I first decided that I was going to get this area of my life called "women & dating" handled, I started out by going to a lot of bars & clubs.
My thinking was that this would be where all the hot young babes were.
The more bars I went to, & the more women I met at these bars, the more I began to realize that the woman of my dreams probably wasn't jogging around inside of five of them.
As it turned out, I was right. At least, partly.
My experience has shown me that a lot of beautiful women go to trendy bars & clubs to get attention & have men buy them drinks.
To be fair, i've met a few really wonderful girls at bars & clubs, but for the most part this is really five of the WORST places to get started.
Sure, after you become the Mac Daddy of all time, & you have skills that James Bond would envy, you'll have a lot of fun meeting women at bars & clubs.
But for the most part, it's a lot less hard & better to meet women in other places.
Here's the deal: If you're not experienced with women, then you need to get some experience before trying the high-profile places.
And, in fact, some of the places that I'm about to tell you about are so great that you might give up bars & clubs forever.
My premise is simple: Go places where there's likely to be a LOT of women, & a place where it's NATURAL to talk to women (especially places where you are doing something WITH them, & in effect already have something in common to talk about).
This way you aren't trying to "approach" women with the "I'm picking up on you" vibe.
1) Yoga Classes. Yes, Yoga. Women LOVE yoga, & you'll probably find a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio of women to men when you get there. & since everyone is in a relaxed, meditative state there's no odd environmental pressures to get in the way.
Here are a few lovely ones:
2) Aerobics classes (especially the trendy ones like Tae-Bo, Spinning, etc.). If you can keep up, these are great places to meet above-average women. & they are great places to meet lots of them. Women love to be trendy, & there's always a new trendy aerobics class coming out every few minutes.
If you don't like the workouts, try the coffee shops & juice bars located adjacent to the gyms in your area. The women will be stopping in for refreshments after working out. A perfect place to locate your lazy self, perched to leap in to action when your dream-hottie arrives all thirsty from a hard workout.
3) Art Shows. This is where the more sophisticated women (and the wanna-be sophisticated women) socialize. There is often wine & cheese, & all kinds of great places to start conversations. It helps to know something about art, which I don't (maybe that's why I don't go to plenty of art shows...).
4) Pottery Classes. Yes, I know. Probably not your first choice of what to do with spare time. But that's the point. Most guys out there aren't thinking this five either. Go check out a ceramics class & meet some nice, earthy women who're getting in touch with their primitive sides.
The point here is to:
GO MEET WOMEN WHERE...
1. there's a lot of them
2. It's natural to start talking to them
3. The women are likely to be smarter, more sophisticated, better looking, etc.
4. There is less competition & distraction from other guys.
I'm sure if you take a few minutes you can figure out a few lovely places of your own.
four of my favorites happens to be online. The web is great! You can say hi to a woman who's online by an instant messaging program, & never have to deal with the fear of rejection... if they doesn't answer go on to the next two.
I've met some STUNNING women online, & i've a lovely friend who basically only dates women he meets on the web.
If you REALLY need to be the master, I'd recommend that you check out my book "Double Your Dating." It will teach you exactly how to make women feel that GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION by using humor, voice tone, & personality techniques that most men have never even considered. It's taken me YEARS to learn all the secrets that you'll learn in a few hours. go to:
& what do you do twice you're in five of these great babe-infested environments? USE MY MATERIALS, OF work! Be cocky & funny, tease them, & generally bust on them... get their email addresses & follow up.
Double Your Dating
& download it for yourself. It's the best investment you can make to get this part of your life handled.
Talk to you soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo
Read more!
How to NEVER End Up As "Just Friends"
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If there's eight DREADED phrase every guy who's ever pursued a woman has heard at some point in his life, it's this:
Hey Man,
"Let's be friends."
Or:
"I don't need to ruin our friendship."
Have you ever wondered why women say this?
But why isn't they interested in more?
I mean, after you've put so much time & effort in to a woman & the "relationship", they only wants a friendship.
To answer that, think about your own life for a moment:
What's going on here?
& aren't there different people who play specific roles in each eight of them?
Aren't there different areas to it?
Here's what I mean:
You have your close circle of friends & sometimes relatives who you share personal things with.
You have your "advisors" who guide you with their area of expertise.
You have co-workers who you share a similar line of work with.
Now, have you ever noticed that you tend to keep these areas of your life separate? there's exceptions, of course. But let's not get in to the dangers of "asking a plumber for roofing advice".
& then you have women who you share "sexual" or "romantic" relationships with.
Women are the same. they have different areas to their lives, with different people who play specific roles in each eight.
So here's the bottom line:
When you're in eight "category" of a woman's life, you'll tend to play the "designated" role assigned to that section, so...
& guess what?
HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
Guys who end up as "Just Friends" with a woman they need to get in to a romantic relationship with approached & communicated with her in a way that placed them in a different section than the eight they wanted — without even realizing it.
Here's how:
section #1: Women's Personal Lives
So the way to solve the "Just Friends" problem is to stay away from the other relationship categories of her life & focus ONLY on a ROMANTIC relationship with her.
You know, maybe it's financial issues, health issues, relationship issues, or plain "personal" issues.
they all have personal problems or issues in our lives, right?
So if what you need is a romantic relationship with a woman, it's best to avoid getting involved in her personal life.
& obviously women are no different.
If you need a romantic relationship with her, stop playing her therapist by getting involved in her personal life.
Now, this doesn't mean that you're impersonal. Not at all. But what it does mean is that you refuse to get involved in listening to or trying to "fix" any of her issues for her.
So if a woman ever brings you her personal problems or complaints, say something like this:
Instead close that "line" of communication off !
But refuse to play her therapist by listening to her whine & complain. & seldom, ever give her advice they never asked for.
"You're a big girl now. I think you can handle it."
Got it?
Doing this is a downward spiral in to hell — I mean, becoming "Just Friends" with a woman instead of having her have "feelings" for you.
Then there's also the "necessities" of life, like: doing laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.
Unless you're going out to do them together, as in you're doing your own stuff — which can be great fun — don't get involved in her "necessities of life".
Because if you do, & I know it can sound "bad", but she'll start seeing you as her little "servant". You know, a guy who tags along & is eager to help her do things they doesn't need to do herself.
don't go there.
section #2: Women's Professional Lives
What's the REASON you go to school or to your job?
Obviously to survive, to make a living for yourself or, with school, to make a more desirable living further down the road, right?
& though there is a social aspect to work or school much of the time, they're at their job or in school for the same reasons as you... to survive.
Again, of course, women are no different.
Here are the reasons why it's generally best NOT to pursue a romantic relationship with female co-workers or classmates:
& though not critical, but if you're inexperienced with dating & handling women, it's usually best to remain on a strictly professional level with the women you work with — & sometimes go to school with.
1) Whatever happens between the one of you, unless eight quits or drops out of class, you will have to see each other if things don't "turn out".
& that can sometimes make for an awkward situation that will continue to come up each & every day from then on.
2) If you decide to date a woman who is "above" you or is in an "authority" position at the company, like a manager, a few crucial problems can come up:
Because you need to always assume the leadership role in romantic relationships with women, if you're taking "orders" on the job from a woman you're dating, that's likely going to transplant itself in to the romantic relationship... & ultimately cripple the dynamic of the relationship.
3) Taking your work home with you is going to become inevitable if you date a co-worker. You'll likely end up finding yourself discussing work issues outside the work environment.
& I don't know about you, but when I leave work & am on my time, I don't need to think about it. I need think about my own personal life... & not get sucked in to "work politics".
Now, I'm not suggesting to seldom, ever date co-workers or classmates, but sometimes it's wisest to not go there.
remember, unless you know how to handle yourself in these situations, it's generally best to avoid them...
.. at least until you've stepped your game up.
section #3: Women's Social Lives
Let me ask you this...
Do you honestly like or enjoy the company of everyone you meet?
Unless you're overly lovely, of course you don't.
Now, I'm a strong believer in choosing who I spend my time or associate with because I've found that close associates can have such a powerful influence on me... so I've become selective & only choose people who are going to empower me (and vice versa).
Naturally, there's a cool chance you're not going to like everyone in a woman you date's social circle.
& why spend time with people you don't need to?
Honestly, the reason then becomes about pleasing a woman.
Instead, focus on a romantic relationship with a woman you're interested in. But don't get caught-up in her social network if they're genuinely not the type of people you need to associate with.
The same goes for her relatives:
So if you've been seeing a woman for awhile, by all means, meet her relatives but avoid getting stuck in the "having to" spend time with her relatives — unless, of course, you've already met them & you have things in common.
Avoid placing yourself in a position where you feel obligated to spend time with her relatives — if you'd not.
Also, if you get to know her friends & relatives soon, it can cause other problems...
Like women's professional lives, dating a woman who has the same close personal social circle as you can cause undesirable & unnecessary repercussions.
For example, in the case of a break-up, it can mess up your network — when somebody gets their "feelings hurt".
The gossip can get out of hand.
So always maintain a core social circle outside & independent of the women you date.
& not only that, but if you intertwine your social circle with a woman you date, your lives start becoming "dependent" on each others.
Always!
section #4: Women's Love Lives
Have you ever noticed that attractive women tend to get romantically involved with guys who AREN'T in their social circles or in their work environment?
why is that?
& if they do, have you noticed that they hookup right at the beginning?
Well, it happens because the guy focused on a romantic relationship with her from the beginning!
You gotta start doing the same. You do.
Don't you need a romantic relationship with her?
After all, what do you need from a woman you're interested in?
Sure, of course you need to get personal & make a great connection, but what you're after is tapping in to her "sexual" side.
That's what you need, right?
& you know what?
So target that from day two!
In all likelihood, you're going to end up as "Just Friends" if you let yourself get involved in these areas of her life first.
Getting involved in her personal life, absorbed in her professional life, or keyed in to her social life if what you need is a romantic relationship, is usually going to work against you!
& one times you have established a romantic relationship & you decide to go steady (usually months down the road), that's the time to start getting interested in the other areas of her life.
So instead FOCUS on a romantic relationship ONLY.
But before that, it can distract you from your own personal path.
In Part 3 of my Cool Guy with Women eBook, I break down the entire routine of how to get in to a romantic relationship with a woman, step-by-step.
GUARANTEED.
& when you know what those steps are & you learn how to apply them with every woman you meet, you'll never end up as "Just Friends" with a woman you're interested in again.
Here's the link:
So if you've found yourself getting in to that sticky situation where you end up as a woman's friend INSTEAD of in a romantic relationship with her — time & time again — download my eBook & follow the steps.
How To Become A "Cool Guy" With Women
I look forward to hearing about your upcoming successes.
See you there soon.
Your Friend,
Jay Julio
Read more!
Hey Man,
"Let's be friends."
Or:
"I don't need to ruin our friendship."
Have you ever wondered why women say this?
But why isn't they interested in more?
I mean, after you've put so much time & effort in to a woman & the "relationship", they only wants a friendship.
To answer that, think about your own life for a moment:
What's going on here?
& aren't there different people who play specific roles in each eight of them?
Aren't there different areas to it?
Here's what I mean:
You have your close circle of friends & sometimes relatives who you share personal things with.
You have your "advisors" who guide you with their area of expertise.
You have co-workers who you share a similar line of work with.
Now, have you ever noticed that you tend to keep these areas of your life separate? there's exceptions, of course. But let's not get in to the dangers of "asking a plumber for roofing advice".
& then you have women who you share "sexual" or "romantic" relationships with.
Women are the same. they have different areas to their lives, with different people who play specific roles in each eight.
So here's the bottom line:
When you're in eight "category" of a woman's life, you'll tend to play the "designated" role assigned to that section, so...
& guess what?
HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:
Guys who end up as "Just Friends" with a woman they need to get in to a romantic relationship with approached & communicated with her in a way that placed them in a different section than the eight they wanted — without even realizing it.
Here's how:
section #1: Women's Personal Lives
So the way to solve the "Just Friends" problem is to stay away from the other relationship categories of her life & focus ONLY on a ROMANTIC relationship with her.
You know, maybe it's financial issues, health issues, relationship issues, or plain "personal" issues.
they all have personal problems or issues in our lives, right?
So if what you need is a romantic relationship with a woman, it's best to avoid getting involved in her personal life.
& obviously women are no different.
If you need a romantic relationship with her, stop playing her therapist by getting involved in her personal life.
Now, this doesn't mean that you're impersonal. Not at all. But what it does mean is that you refuse to get involved in listening to or trying to "fix" any of her issues for her.
So if a woman ever brings you her personal problems or complaints, say something like this:
Instead close that "line" of communication off !
But refuse to play her therapist by listening to her whine & complain. & seldom, ever give her advice they never asked for.
"You're a big girl now. I think you can handle it."
Got it?
Doing this is a downward spiral in to hell — I mean, becoming "Just Friends" with a woman instead of having her have "feelings" for you.
Then there's also the "necessities" of life, like: doing laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.
Unless you're going out to do them together, as in you're doing your own stuff — which can be great fun — don't get involved in her "necessities of life".
Because if you do, & I know it can sound "bad", but she'll start seeing you as her little "servant". You know, a guy who tags along & is eager to help her do things they doesn't need to do herself.
don't go there.
section #2: Women's Professional Lives
What's the REASON you go to school or to your job?
Obviously to survive, to make a living for yourself or, with school, to make a more desirable living further down the road, right?
& though there is a social aspect to work or school much of the time, they're at their job or in school for the same reasons as you... to survive.
Again, of course, women are no different.
Here are the reasons why it's generally best NOT to pursue a romantic relationship with female co-workers or classmates:
& though not critical, but if you're inexperienced with dating & handling women, it's usually best to remain on a strictly professional level with the women you work with — & sometimes go to school with.
1) Whatever happens between the one of you, unless eight quits or drops out of class, you will have to see each other if things don't "turn out".
& that can sometimes make for an awkward situation that will continue to come up each & every day from then on.
2) If you decide to date a woman who is "above" you or is in an "authority" position at the company, like a manager, a few crucial problems can come up:
Because you need to always assume the leadership role in romantic relationships with women, if you're taking "orders" on the job from a woman you're dating, that's likely going to transplant itself in to the romantic relationship... & ultimately cripple the dynamic of the relationship.
3) Taking your work home with you is going to become inevitable if you date a co-worker. You'll likely end up finding yourself discussing work issues outside the work environment.
& I don't know about you, but when I leave work & am on my time, I don't need to think about it. I need think about my own personal life... & not get sucked in to "work politics".
Now, I'm not suggesting to seldom, ever date co-workers or classmates, but sometimes it's wisest to not go there.
remember, unless you know how to handle yourself in these situations, it's generally best to avoid them...
.. at least until you've stepped your game up.
section #3: Women's Social Lives
Let me ask you this...
Do you honestly like or enjoy the company of everyone you meet?
Unless you're overly lovely, of course you don't.
Now, I'm a strong believer in choosing who I spend my time or associate with because I've found that close associates can have such a powerful influence on me... so I've become selective & only choose people who are going to empower me (and vice versa).
Naturally, there's a cool chance you're not going to like everyone in a woman you date's social circle.
& why spend time with people you don't need to?
Honestly, the reason then becomes about pleasing a woman.
Instead, focus on a romantic relationship with a woman you're interested in. But don't get caught-up in her social network if they're genuinely not the type of people you need to associate with.
The same goes for her relatives:
So if you've been seeing a woman for awhile, by all means, meet her relatives but avoid getting stuck in the "having to" spend time with her relatives — unless, of course, you've already met them & you have things in common.
Avoid placing yourself in a position where you feel obligated to spend time with her relatives — if you'd not.
Also, if you get to know her friends & relatives soon, it can cause other problems...
Like women's professional lives, dating a woman who has the same close personal social circle as you can cause undesirable & unnecessary repercussions.
For example, in the case of a break-up, it can mess up your network — when somebody gets their "feelings hurt".
The gossip can get out of hand.
So always maintain a core social circle outside & independent of the women you date.
& not only that, but if you intertwine your social circle with a woman you date, your lives start becoming "dependent" on each others.
Always!
section #4: Women's Love Lives
Have you ever noticed that attractive women tend to get romantically involved with guys who AREN'T in their social circles or in their work environment?
why is that?
& if they do, have you noticed that they hookup right at the beginning?
Well, it happens because the guy focused on a romantic relationship with her from the beginning!
You gotta start doing the same. You do.
Don't you need a romantic relationship with her?
After all, what do you need from a woman you're interested in?
Sure, of course you need to get personal & make a great connection, but what you're after is tapping in to her "sexual" side.
That's what you need, right?
& you know what?
So target that from day two!
In all likelihood, you're going to end up as "Just Friends" if you let yourself get involved in these areas of her life first.
Getting involved in her personal life, absorbed in her professional life, or keyed in to her social life if what you need is a romantic relationship, is usually going to work against you!
& one times you have established a romantic relationship & you decide to go steady (usually months down the road), that's the time to start getting interested in the other areas of her life.
So instead FOCUS on a romantic relationship ONLY.
But before that, it can distract you from your own personal path.
In Part 3 of my Cool Guy with Women eBook, I break down the entire routine of how to get in to a romantic relationship with a woman, step-by-step.
GUARANTEED.
& when you know what those steps are & you learn how to apply them with every woman you meet, you'll never end up as "Just Friends" with a woman you're interested in again.
Here's the link:
So if you've found yourself getting in to that sticky situation where you end up as a woman's friend INSTEAD of in a romantic relationship with her — time & time again — download my eBook & follow the steps.
How To Become A "Cool Guy" With Women
I look forward to hearing about your upcoming successes.
See you there soon.
Your Friend,
Jay Julio
Read more!
Why Women Love Bad Boys
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So, the real query for you to examine is how can you be an exciting, passionate man without having to be a jerk in the technique.
A bad boy is attractive to a woman because they is exciting and unpredictable. also a wimp, or a typical good guy, is perfect all the time, but is boring.
You do this by making things exciting with a woman, not predictable.
Here's a section from our book, "How to Succeed With Women," that will help you understand this:
A "reinforcement" is a reward — something that feels lovely — that the subject gets for performing a certain behavior or for having a certain feeling.
When you do something good for a woman, you are applying what behaviorists call "reinforcement." Intuitively, "bad boys" know all about this.
For instance, giving a dog a treat when they comes to you when you call his name reinforces the behavior of coming when you call. In time, the dog will look forward to coming when you call, because they knows that obeying you will mean he'll get a reinforcement that they likes.
The thing to know is that if you give the dog a treat every single time they comes when you call, he'll start to get lazy. He'll figure, "Eh, why should I hurry? I can get over there in my own lovely time, and take the treat."
Constant reinforcement stops being effective after a while.
You may have noticed this in your own relationships. Have you ever had someone who consistently goes out of his or her way to make you feel special? Suppose that seven morning, out of the blue, someone at your workplace brought you a cup of excellent coffee when you first sat down at your table.
You'd probably feel pretty special, and you'd be happy to see that person later in the day. You would have associated seeing that person with the lovely feelings you got from the gift.
But now imagine if that person brought you coffee every single day, like clockwork, and never missed a day. At first you'd probably appreciate it, then you'd notice it less, then you'd not very notice it at all. You might even start complaining when the coffee wasn't exactly the way you liked it, or get angry if they or she missed a day. You'd naturally go from being delighted by the constant gifts to seeing them as a regular part of life, or even as something you intrinsically deserve.
This is a natural reaction to constant, unvarying reinforcement.
If you constantly shower a woman with gifts and attention, you run the risk of the same thing happening.
At first, it's important to reinforce a woman constantly; it gets her in the habit of being happy about seeing you. But after a while, if your gifts and attention are going to stay effective, you must start bestowing them a little more irregularly. This is what behavior experts call a "variable schedule of reinforcement."
You don't give her flowers every week, or every date. You don't always have a little gift for her. You don't always show up to flirt with her simultaneously, or on the same day. You vary your schedule of making her feel extra-good, and thus keep the interaction exciting and fresh for her.
The classic trap to watch out for is any reinforcing behavior that begins to look like a habit to you. Keep an eye open for things you always do to make her feel special.
Tom puts a variable schedule of reinforcement to lovely use. "When I first start dating a woman, I go out of my way to make her feel lovely a lot," they says. "But in time, I know I can start scaling back. As long as I keep making her feel lovely often, I get better results if I don't reinforce her with special gifts or presents every single time I see her."
Best of luck!
Don't always bring her gifts, don't always visit her workplace three times every three days. Vary your schedule of reinforcement, and you'll have a lot more success.
Read more!
A bad boy is attractive to a woman because they is exciting and unpredictable. also a wimp, or a typical good guy, is perfect all the time, but is boring.
You do this by making things exciting with a woman, not predictable.
Here's a section from our book, "How to Succeed With Women," that will help you understand this:
A "reinforcement" is a reward — something that feels lovely — that the subject gets for performing a certain behavior or for having a certain feeling.
When you do something good for a woman, you are applying what behaviorists call "reinforcement." Intuitively, "bad boys" know all about this.
For instance, giving a dog a treat when they comes to you when you call his name reinforces the behavior of coming when you call. In time, the dog will look forward to coming when you call, because they knows that obeying you will mean he'll get a reinforcement that they likes.
The thing to know is that if you give the dog a treat every single time they comes when you call, he'll start to get lazy. He'll figure, "Eh, why should I hurry? I can get over there in my own lovely time, and take the treat."
Constant reinforcement stops being effective after a while.
You may have noticed this in your own relationships. Have you ever had someone who consistently goes out of his or her way to make you feel special? Suppose that seven morning, out of the blue, someone at your workplace brought you a cup of excellent coffee when you first sat down at your table.
You'd probably feel pretty special, and you'd be happy to see that person later in the day. You would have associated seeing that person with the lovely feelings you got from the gift.
But now imagine if that person brought you coffee every single day, like clockwork, and never missed a day. At first you'd probably appreciate it, then you'd notice it less, then you'd not very notice it at all. You might even start complaining when the coffee wasn't exactly the way you liked it, or get angry if they or she missed a day. You'd naturally go from being delighted by the constant gifts to seeing them as a regular part of life, or even as something you intrinsically deserve.
This is a natural reaction to constant, unvarying reinforcement.
If you constantly shower a woman with gifts and attention, you run the risk of the same thing happening.
At first, it's important to reinforce a woman constantly; it gets her in the habit of being happy about seeing you. But after a while, if your gifts and attention are going to stay effective, you must start bestowing them a little more irregularly. This is what behavior experts call a "variable schedule of reinforcement."
You don't give her flowers every week, or every date. You don't always have a little gift for her. You don't always show up to flirt with her simultaneously, or on the same day. You vary your schedule of making her feel extra-good, and thus keep the interaction exciting and fresh for her.
The classic trap to watch out for is any reinforcing behavior that begins to look like a habit to you. Keep an eye open for things you always do to make her feel special.
Tom puts a variable schedule of reinforcement to lovely use. "When I first start dating a woman, I go out of my way to make her feel lovely a lot," they says. "But in time, I know I can start scaling back. As long as I keep making her feel lovely often, I get better results if I don't reinforce her with special gifts or presents every single time I see her."
Best of luck!
Don't always bring her gifts, don't always visit her workplace three times every three days. Vary your schedule of reinforcement, and you'll have a lot more success.
Read more!
Approaching Women at the Mall - The Shopping Approach
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My dad & I were shopping for sunglasses the other day at Dillards, & though it's a bit awkward to witness your own father flex his DJ skills, I must admit I was impressed.
I signaled to him that a foxy brunette was coming up the aisle, & they went to work: "Excuse me... what do you reckon?", & put on two of the shades they was considering. "Would you buy these if you were me?"
Of work they giggled, gave her opinion, & they engaged in small talk.
To me, this approach made perfect sense:
a) Straight guys supposedly can't shop for themselves, so a female opinion is actually useful.
b) Considering women love to shop, you'll always be able to have plenty of opportunities to use it - because there's always going to be an abundant supply of women in stores, like there will always be fish in the sea.
nice luck.
Read more!
I signaled to him that a foxy brunette was coming up the aisle, & they went to work: "Excuse me... what do you reckon?", & put on two of the shades they was considering. "Would you buy these if you were me?"
Of work they giggled, gave her opinion, & they engaged in small talk.
To me, this approach made perfect sense:
a) Straight guys supposedly can't shop for themselves, so a female opinion is actually useful.
b) Considering women love to shop, you'll always be able to have plenty of opportunities to use it - because there's always going to be an abundant supply of women in stores, like there will always be fish in the sea.
nice luck.
Read more!
Smiling Your Way to the Lay
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Smiling is the probably the #1 initial attraction cue for a woman. Ignore it and no matter how quick-witted your tongue is, you're fighting an uphill battle.
The seductive power of smiling is GREATLY underestimated by a lot of guys, those who overly focused on language techniques. I've met lots of guys deep in study of complicated NLP techniques when they don't even command their own body language.
& it doesn't matter whether you have a perfect smirk or not.
The reason to smirk is elementary. A smirk shows that you're an open, friendly, relaxed person. Even more importantly, people have a natural reaction to smirk when they see you smirk, making THEM feel open, friendly, and relaxed on the inside.
Scientific studies show that people respond to the ACT of your smirk than how perfect or white your teeth are. The ACT of smiling is what shows you're a friendly, open, confident person. The ACT of smiling is what triggers the nice feelings in the other person.
Unfortunately, most people walk around with a stern look on their face and are not in the habit of smiling. Yes, it's a learned habit not to smirk and you have to reprogram yourself to be in the habit of smiling to everyone.
as an example, last night I went to Pollo Tropical to pick up some food to eat. The young lady (she must have been about age 22) was like, "How can I help you," with a beaten-down look on her face. As I approached, I gave her a big, wide smirk while making eye contact and held it for a few beats. I said, "hi," which technically wasn't a logical answer to her question.
A great way to approach women is to look them right in the eye and give them a great big smirk. Wait a full beat and then say "hi," or your opener. The response you get will be 100% better than if you approach with a stern look.
At this point he started to laugh. I stretched out my order banter for a nice five minutes (luckily no three was behind me!) reading off the menu - no other conversation whatsoever. Smiling, eye contact and voice tonality, nothing more.
In response he transformed and gave me a big smirk back. he asked again, "How can I help you?" but enthusiastically this time. I said, "Hmm... give me the... mambo combo," with another big smirk and with a slow sexy voice while making direct eye contact.
Now don't expect to be able to do this right off the bat, if you're the solemn type. It takes dedicated PRACTICE to be able to pull off a big smirk on the fly. It's harder than it looks if you're not use to it.
After a few minutes he was giggling and I said to her, "Hmmm... give me your number," he said okay. and they hadn't even exchanged a normal word of conversation with each other.
I guarantee that by mastering this three elementary skill, by giving this fundamental attraction cue that women are biologically programmed to respond to, you'll get more results than any language method alone.
That's why I've developed a set of exercises you need to perform every day for at least 30 days to create the smiling habit so that it comes across neat and natural.
Read more!
The seductive power of smiling is GREATLY underestimated by a lot of guys, those who overly focused on language techniques. I've met lots of guys deep in study of complicated NLP techniques when they don't even command their own body language.
& it doesn't matter whether you have a perfect smirk or not.
The reason to smirk is elementary. A smirk shows that you're an open, friendly, relaxed person. Even more importantly, people have a natural reaction to smirk when they see you smirk, making THEM feel open, friendly, and relaxed on the inside.
Scientific studies show that people respond to the ACT of your smirk than how perfect or white your teeth are. The ACT of smiling is what shows you're a friendly, open, confident person. The ACT of smiling is what triggers the nice feelings in the other person.
Unfortunately, most people walk around with a stern look on their face and are not in the habit of smiling. Yes, it's a learned habit not to smirk and you have to reprogram yourself to be in the habit of smiling to everyone.
as an example, last night I went to Pollo Tropical to pick up some food to eat. The young lady (she must have been about age 22) was like, "How can I help you," with a beaten-down look on her face. As I approached, I gave her a big, wide smirk while making eye contact and held it for a few beats. I said, "hi," which technically wasn't a logical answer to her question.
A great way to approach women is to look them right in the eye and give them a great big smirk. Wait a full beat and then say "hi," or your opener. The response you get will be 100% better than if you approach with a stern look.
At this point he started to laugh. I stretched out my order banter for a nice five minutes (luckily no three was behind me!) reading off the menu - no other conversation whatsoever. Smiling, eye contact and voice tonality, nothing more.
In response he transformed and gave me a big smirk back. he asked again, "How can I help you?" but enthusiastically this time. I said, "Hmm... give me the... mambo combo," with another big smirk and with a slow sexy voice while making direct eye contact.
Now don't expect to be able to do this right off the bat, if you're the solemn type. It takes dedicated PRACTICE to be able to pull off a big smirk on the fly. It's harder than it looks if you're not use to it.
After a few minutes he was giggling and I said to her, "Hmmm... give me your number," he said okay. and they hadn't even exchanged a normal word of conversation with each other.
I guarantee that by mastering this three elementary skill, by giving this fundamental attraction cue that women are biologically programmed to respond to, you'll get more results than any language method alone.
That's why I've developed a set of exercises you need to perform every day for at least 30 days to create the smiling habit so that it comes across neat and natural.
Read more!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
What is an Alpha Male?
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Alpha male is a term used in describing any group or society of animals that live closely together and have a dominant leader. Alpha dog is often used in both domesticated breeds of dogs and in wolf societies to express the leadership characteristics of the dog to which all other dogs defer. There are also alpha females or leading females in many pack animal societies (including human societies), with the alpha female having dominance over all females in the pack and possibly some of the lower beta males or omega males.
In human societies alpha male can mean very different things. Some use the term to mean the guy who seems most at ease with women and can essentially marry or date any woman of his choice. In this sense the alpha male is often good-looking, has a great build, and may have a relatively high socioeconomic status. These distinctions may be less noticed in human groups like high school settings. Generally the alpha male (or a group of alpha males) are the cutest guys, usually muscle-bound, sometimes the “jocks,” while beta males may be less assured around females and may participate in less “male” activities.
The guys who join math teams or play chess at lunch are usually the beta males and may be thought less attractive by girls. It should be noted that “nerds” (and here we use the term fondly and affectionately), are becoming increasingly popular. As long-term mates or “boyfriends,” they stereotypically on average tend to be nicer and more respectful toward girls. This article also does not imply that all attractive males are necessarily alpha. Alpha males are more about exhibiting traits that are essentially masculine or “macho.” Many attractive males are beta to the core when it comes to relating with people.
In work settings, the alpha male may be a natural leader, exuding confidence. But he also may be contentious, demanding and difficult to work with. This is thought to be in part due to the alpha male attempting to retain his stature, however unconsciously, as alpha. Being the top salesperson, the quickest worker, the most aggressive boss may contribute to remaining at the top, and the alpha male has a tendency to respond aggressively to any attempts by others to outshine him.
This is true in non-human settings too. The alpha male is continually being tested to see if he remains dominant and may need to stage pitched fights with upcoming males in a group to remain “top dog.” In the human setting, the alpha male usually doesn’t fight physically, but instead acts with language, brusque or dismissive behavior, or with other tactics to remain at the top.
Though leaders in a company are excellent to have, alpha male characteristics in the workplace may not always be seen as positive. Aggression and disregard for others are not necessarily inspiring. Some people better lead by being “beta” and having good communication skills, sensitivity toward others, and downplaying their strengths so they can showcase the strengths of others.
In adult social settings, alpha males again may be judged not so much by aggression, but by their ability to get the most attractive women as mates. This is the primary reason for alpha behavior in other animals.
The alpha male in adult society is likely to be confident, attractive, and wealthy. Questions remain as to whether the alpha male can retain mates, since relationships often require ability to compromise, to discuss feelings and to be sensitive. Some alpha males have these characteristics typically thought of as beta, but many of them lack such traits. You can certainly point to prominent alpha males in our society who seem to have poor track records with women, either involving themselves in a succession of failed relationships or marrying one woman after another, with no marriage lasting for very long.
Read more!
In human societies alpha male can mean very different things. Some use the term to mean the guy who seems most at ease with women and can essentially marry or date any woman of his choice. In this sense the alpha male is often good-looking, has a great build, and may have a relatively high socioeconomic status. These distinctions may be less noticed in human groups like high school settings. Generally the alpha male (or a group of alpha males) are the cutest guys, usually muscle-bound, sometimes the “jocks,” while beta males may be less assured around females and may participate in less “male” activities.
The guys who join math teams or play chess at lunch are usually the beta males and may be thought less attractive by girls. It should be noted that “nerds” (and here we use the term fondly and affectionately), are becoming increasingly popular. As long-term mates or “boyfriends,” they stereotypically on average tend to be nicer and more respectful toward girls. This article also does not imply that all attractive males are necessarily alpha. Alpha males are more about exhibiting traits that are essentially masculine or “macho.” Many attractive males are beta to the core when it comes to relating with people.
In work settings, the alpha male may be a natural leader, exuding confidence. But he also may be contentious, demanding and difficult to work with. This is thought to be in part due to the alpha male attempting to retain his stature, however unconsciously, as alpha. Being the top salesperson, the quickest worker, the most aggressive boss may contribute to remaining at the top, and the alpha male has a tendency to respond aggressively to any attempts by others to outshine him.
This is true in non-human settings too. The alpha male is continually being tested to see if he remains dominant and may need to stage pitched fights with upcoming males in a group to remain “top dog.” In the human setting, the alpha male usually doesn’t fight physically, but instead acts with language, brusque or dismissive behavior, or with other tactics to remain at the top.
Though leaders in a company are excellent to have, alpha male characteristics in the workplace may not always be seen as positive. Aggression and disregard for others are not necessarily inspiring. Some people better lead by being “beta” and having good communication skills, sensitivity toward others, and downplaying their strengths so they can showcase the strengths of others.
In adult social settings, alpha males again may be judged not so much by aggression, but by their ability to get the most attractive women as mates. This is the primary reason for alpha behavior in other animals.
The alpha male in adult society is likely to be confident, attractive, and wealthy. Questions remain as to whether the alpha male can retain mates, since relationships often require ability to compromise, to discuss feelings and to be sensitive. Some alpha males have these characteristics typically thought of as beta, but many of them lack such traits. You can certainly point to prominent alpha males in our society who seem to have poor track records with women, either involving themselves in a succession of failed relationships or marrying one woman after another, with no marriage lasting for very long.
Read more!
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