THE "NICE GUY" AND THE HALO EFFECT

If you want to attract the right woman,
and if you want to avoid making mistakes
with women, you have to learn to not
always rely on your immediate EMOTIONS.

Emotions often lead us astray, because
we tend to not THINK when we are feeling.
In fact, when we are FEELING, we go
so far as to CREATE REASONS to 'justify'
our emotions, even though these
'reasons' actually have NOTHING to
do with why we feel what we feel.

So, for example, if there is a woman
you feel attracted to, it's almost
automatic for a man to start making
up "non superficial" REASONS why he
likes her, why she is truly special,
etc.

Similarly, if you are feeling any
fear about approaching a woman,
that fear will then lead to you
making up REASONS for why you
feel this fear, that in reality
have nothing to do with why you
really feel that fear.

If you want to become a master
of attraction, then it's all
about you learning to master
your own emotions and to learn
to NOT submit to your human
tendency to start falsely
rationalizing why you are
feeling the way you do.

That way, you can have a lot of
great emotions LATER- including
the emotion of being with the woman
you actually WANT.

Recently, I saw a movie
that REMINDED me just how INSANELY
tough it must be to be a guy who is living
WITHOUT knowing the full deal about
attraction, about women, and about
the way our emotions work.

I don't know if you'll believe me, but the
honest truth is that at first, this movie
really PISSED ME OFF!

You see, the movie is called "Forgetting
Sarah Marshal". And in this movie, is
a dude who I thought EVERY GUY
in the theater would NOT be able to
relate to, because to ME, this
character's behavior seemed so
LAME AND PATHETIC AND IGNORANT.

Even though this movie is a comedy, the
reality is that it would not work if the
audience felt this guy was CRAZY.

The movie works because the reality
is that there ARE many guys who
can relate to his perspective.

And then it hit me. You see, I USED
to think SIMILARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to be that guy!

It's ONLY because for YEARS AND
YEARS now, I have been so immersed
in a different way of THINKING and
BEHAVING that this stuff NOW seems
SO ABSOLUTELY CRAZY to me.
And the fact that it does NOT seem
absolutely CRAZY to me is
HORRIFYING!

Honestly, I want to make that type of
behavior, that type of thinking, EXTINCT!

So what was this behavior?
In the movie, this chick who is supposed to
be super hot, (reality check, is that there
are MANY girls like her around, HONESTLY,
but the way most guys think they go crazy
for any girl that is remotely attractive and
shows SOME interest in them, which all
comes from scarcity style thinking) and
she suddenly dumps him after four years.

He goes CRAZY desperate, he becomes a
total needy wreck, he tries to win her BACK,
he ABANDONS his whole life, loses passion
for his goals, self-esteem plummets, etc.

Now, the FIRST thing that was GLARINGLY
obvious to me, is that no chick on EARTH
just "suddenly" dumps a guy.

This is all part of the MYTH, the NIGHTMARE
myth, that a woman who is this great person,
suddenly DROPS a guy, she becomes this
uncaring unfeeling person, etc.

What ACTUALLY happens is that a guy ends
up falling victim to what is known as the
HALO EFFECT.

The halo effect is when humans see people
who are attractive or celebrities or both,
they tend to think these people are
BETTER than other people - more
NOBLE, more honest, more intelligent,
etc.

It's total emotional HOGWASH, but it
happens so often and even today with all
this knowledge even educated people often
FALL for it. So much so that you may notice
whenever you see criminals in court, they
dress as well as they can to try to influence
the judge or jury to come to a verdict that
says he or she is innocent.

Well, at least this fricken movie SHOWS
this, it shows it in a pretty intelligent way,
although I wonder if every guy GOT it.

What the movie shows at first, are his
MEMORIES of this woman. He keeps
on TORTURING HIMSELF by remembering
the "fun times" they had together. He
keeps seeing her smile in his mind, he
keeps remembering when they got
physical, etc.

And of course, this makes him more and
more sad, depressed, and frustrated!

Then, his best friend tries to help him out,
tries to set him straight, and then TELLS
him something STRAIGHT UP:

"Hey man, whenever she was around us,
and I saw her with you, she was pretty
much a bitch."

I'm paraphrasing, but that's what he said,
in a heartfelt way.

His friend is trying to HELP him, but his
friend is also truly being HONEST.

So what does the guy respond with?
He gets ANGRY at his friend for him saying
this.

How dare his friend say this about his
"great" woman!!!

So he tells OFF his friend, he tells his
friend that this girl was BETTER than
his friend's girlfriend!!!!

BETTER!!!

Does this make any sense?
The girl that DUMPED him, was BETTER!

Well, the truth is that unless you are
TRAINED and DEVELOPED in the
ways of ATTRACTION, PICK-UP,
AND FULL INNER GAME, this
kind of thing is VERY REALISTIC!

Because what happens is that our mind
plays TRICKS on us. It's the HALO
EFFECT, in FULL EFFECT.

It's not just that this guy felt his girlfriend
was BEAUTIFUL, he also felt she was
somehow GREAT, a great person, a
wonderful person, someone he was
going to MISS!!! He didn't say that
his girlfriend was HOTTER, he said
BETTER!!!

And yet, this IS how many guys might FEEL.
All because of the HALO EFFECT.

If the guy TRULY HONESTLY FELT THAT
IT WAS JUST HER LOOKS THAT WERE
SUPERIOR THAN THOSE OF OTHER
WOMEN, HE WOULD NOT MISS HER
EVEN A FRACTION AS MUCH!!!!

But he thinks she IS somehow superior to
other girls besides just her looks.

And this is what MILLIONS of guys experience
all the time.

In fact, the MEMORIES we trigger when we
are under the HALO effect are often FALSE
MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see, EMOTIONS are INSANELY POWERFUL
THINGS!!! We tend to FEEL FIRST, and then
we RATIONALIZE those feelings as being
APPROPRIATE FEELINGS. We give
REASONS for those feelings, reasons
that FEEL right!

In reality though, the FEELINGS usually have
NOTHING TO DO with the reasons we give
for them!!!

NOTHING.

In fact, very often, the reasons we give for
the feelings are not only wrong, they are
HORRIFYING WRONG, they are the
FARTHEST FROM THE TRUTH!

So, for example, because the guy feels
ATTRACTION and feels she is GOOD
(all due to the halo effect), he then
Has SELECTIVE MEMORY, to ONLY
REMEMBER the GOOD things, no
Matter how tiny they were (Such as
her "smiling"! I mean who DOES NOT
smile ever???? And what the heck
is valuable in a smile, it could be
she is smiling for totally selfish
reasons!)

Not only that, if a guy feels strong enough
about a woman, he may even CREATE
memories that never EXISTED, he will
WARP the past into it being something
more special than it was!

Our brains do this because we think there
is NO WAY that we can feel so good about
something or someone that was NOT GOOD!

Eventually, in the movie, he slowly starts to
REGAIN some ACCURACY in his memories,
and it's no coincidence that THESE MEMORIES
are triggered once he REGAINS his self-esteem!

Suddenly then, he starts to REMEMBER
all the TOTAL SH*&&T things she did
to him!

And this brings me to a massive point:

The whole problem in the FIRST PLACE
started because he himself was not feeling
the kind of self-esteem that every man
deserves to experience. He was doing
work that he hated, he had vague dreams
of creating a rock opera that he was
not putting into action, and his whole
attitude toward his own life SUCKED.

The ONLY thing he had going on that
seemed cool was this chick who was
an actress, decently attractive, etc.

And SHE became his source of self-esteem.

Again, not just because of her attractiveness,
but because the HALO effect ALSO made
him view her as smart, noble, good, virtuous,
special, etc.

And so having HER in his life made HIM
feel that HE was special. And he NEEDED
it so badly that he was OBLIVIOUS to the
REALITY that indeed she WAS a shallow,
selfish, emotionally and intellectually void
beeee-yotch!

He NEEDED her so badly, because his own
reservoir of self-esteem was running on
EMPTY.

He had nothing INTERNAL to base his own
self-esteem ON.

And even when his friend was telling him to
get to work on that rock opera, all he did
was say he couldn't because he was
heartbroken. Yet, by ignoring his self,
his own identity, his own self-esteem
plummeted FURTHER, leaving him
even MORE vulnerable to the halo
effect and selective memory and
being desperate for her.

And even when he slept with many women,
it didn't help, because HE still felt empty
about HIMSELF inside. HE still felt SHE
was the special one, because for YEARS
AND YEARS, he had unwittingly brainwashed
himself into believing this!!!

It's only when he meets ANOTHER
WOMAN who is EMOTIONALY
MORE INTELLIGENT THAN
HE IS, that things begin to
slowly CHANGE.

This new woman, well her self-esteem is
INTERNALLY driven. She is not all about
having celebrity pet care centers and about
being famous and glitzy, she does not
need to have validation from everyone
around her to be happy, and she doesn't
need to be rewarded for being a good
and happy person, she does it because
she FEELS GOOD doing it. Her
self esteem is SKYROCKETING.

And she encourages HIM to grow this way
as well. She even devises a sly but loving
method of getting him to FORCE HIMSELF
to take action on his dreams and goals.

And all this stuff helps him REALIZE that
what he was REALLY SEARCHING for
all this time was not his ex-girlfriend, but
HIMSELF. He had LOST HIMSELF
before he even MET the beee-yotch, so
he was a perfect target for optimum
destruction when the beee-yotch met
him. And yet all those years he was
HAPPY to be with her, he felt she
was the GREATEST thing that
happened to him.

And yet, the new woman, who he is
attracted to as well, cannot do MAGIC.
So a certain amount of emotional growing
has to come from him and him only.
This is his real mission.

He fails this mission, because when the
beey-otch comes running back to him
after her new boyfriend cheats on her
(and after her new boyfriend can't take her
selfish behavior because it gets in the
way of him continuing his own selfish
rotten behavior) and after her TV show
gets cancelled, he actually makes the
horrible mistake of becoming weak and
fooling around with her a bit even though
he stops half way and regrets it horribly.

However, it's still enough damage to cause
the new awesome woman he's met to
lose respect for him. Which makes sense,
because really what he has done has shown
her that his self-esteem is SO WEAK,
that HE IS WEAK.

This is why I HATE it when "nice guys"
get associated with characters like the
guy in the movie.

This guy doesn't lose the initial girl because he's NICE.
He loses her because he's too weak to see that
he shouldn't have been with her in the first
place and he's too weak to see that he needs
to develop himself INSIDE first!

This isn't nice.
This isn't good.
It's pathetic.

When a woman says "Are you strong enough to
be my man", she doesn't mean are you a bad
boy!!!! She means, are you a good guy and
STRONG about it, are you a good man who
is STRONG about his goodness, or will he
need validation and will he need to pretend
to be a pimp or playa or alpha idiot who is
so scared inside that he can't even tell the
difference between an amazing woman
who treats him well and a woman that
treats him like garbage.

It's only when he FULLY REALIZES
and FULLY GROWS inside, when
he become strong enough to have
NO DOUBTS about what really
is important, is he able to truly
win the girl who is beautiful and
a fantastic person as well.

So, this movie wasn't actually bad at all.
But it was a WAKE-UP call to me that
reminded me the things I take for granted
now are only because I was lucky enough
to LEARN all this stuff so that this movie
seemed ABSURD to me.

I want there to be a day when this movie
seems ABSURD to EVERY MAN ON
EARTH.

And that will ONLY happen if every man
on EARTH gets the message and is willing
to put in the WORK to DEVELOP the
internal skills and external skills regarding
attraction, self-esteem, emotion, and
charisma.

Don't let yourself be like the guy in the movie
who is so IMMERSED in the ILLUSIONS
that are destroying him, that FIVE YEARS
go by and even his BEST FRIEND cannot
help him when he is pleading and trying
so hard to wake him UP from the insanity.
Read more!

HOW TO BANISH NEEDINESS

Hey Gentleman,

One of the worst tortures that any man
can go through on earth is being obsessed
with one woman who doesn't seem to
understand him, love him, or want him.

Not only is it torturous, but that very feeling
destroys his sense of confidence, and robs
him of his charisma and sense of humor,
not only with her, but will ALL women,
which makes his results even worse,
which then makes him feel even worse,
and so on.

So what I'd like to do today is help any man
reading this to stop the insanity that he is
doing to himself and to stop the pain and
the suffering.

Meanwhile, the jerks always think they are
great and that they are the prize, etc.

So, anytime you feel yourself obsessing
over ONE woman, I want you to take
notice of the following things:

1.
How much time have you REALLY spent with
OTHER women lately?

2.
How much time have you been FANTASIZING
about how GREAT and PERFECT things would
be if you just had HER?

3.
How much ACTION have you actually took
to meet OTHER women?

These three actions form a "perfect storm" of
DISASTER to your emotions.

See, what happens is that rather than living in
the REALITY of having to take ACTION to
meet other women, it's much easier (even though
it's also simultaneously PAINFUL) to
fantasize about some dream concept with
some woman who you aren't actually
WITH.

See, the mind is a very interesting thing:
Given the choice to think about a perfect fantasy
or having to pursue something in reality, it will
ALWAYS choose fantasy, because no matter
how awesome a REALITY is, it can NEVER
match the fantasy that YOU YOURSELF have
created in your OWN mind.

It's the perfect fantasy because you created it.

So let's say you are obsessed with one woman,
whether it's a woman who you've had to divorce,
a woman who you love who has never loved you
back, or any other woman, 99 per cent of the time
the PAIN comes from the CONTRAST of
FANTASIZING about how AWESOME things
"could" be, and then comparing that to your reality.

And of course, since you haven't been working
on CHANGING that reality, that reality currently
feels PARTICULARLY bad.

Presto- this creates the emotion known as
NEEDINESS.

You now don't just LIKE a particular woman, you
now NEED HER for dear life.

And it really makes me sick how so many of the
BEST MEN ON EARTH are the ones who make
themselves suffer so much, it's because they
aren't arrogant and they allow themselves to
give a little TOO MUCH credit to a woman who
really hasn't earned it.

This to me, is not really nice, it's kind of a nice
that comes from not KNOWING the reality of
their own value and from distorting the value
of someone else and inflating it.

So the key is to first become AWARE of
what you are doing- you are comparing
something that is not even REAL, something
that exists only in your mind, i.e. how
PERFECT things would be if you just
HAD this woman, with what life would
be like if you took action in real life
with some other women.

The REAL LIFE can't match or compare.
And the longer you allow yourself to stay
obsessed, the MORE you brainwash yourself
into thinking and FEELING that the things
you've projected onto a woman are indeed
TRUE and FACTUAL.

See, humans aren't very good at determining
REALITY, they think that their EMOTIONS
are always good indicators of TRUTH, and
though sometimes they are, they also sometimes
are TOTALLY WRONG.

So if you allow yourself to follow your emotions
of pining or obsessing for some woman who
hasn't done much to EARN that, you will
brainwash yourself into thinking she HAS
earned it, as if you are so low on the scale
of value that she is so awesome in comparison,
or you'll brainwash yourself of her value
in some other way, you'll actually convince
yourself that she really IS from a logical
point of view "worth it", when in reality
this is known as backwards rationalizing,
or "cognitive dissonance".

By the way, almost EVERYONE brainwashes
themselves, and it's almost never a good thing.
For example, some women are emotionally
irresponsible and they attribute the cause of
their negative emotions to everyone except
themselves.


If you want a quality woman in your life,
you'd be best warned to watch out for
a woman who sees herself as a victim of
everything.

The reality is that while some human beings
manage to barely walk away from an oven
in a concentration camp as a child and still
grow up emotionally stable, other people
will cry like the world is ending because
ten years ago their mom didn't buy them
a CHOCOLATE CAKE for their birthday.

Other people will blame the fact that they
weren't allowed to eat junk food as kid
for why they need to cheat on their spouse
or partner.

The bottom line is, it's not really your
CIRCUMSTANCES, it's your ATTITUDE
that determines the meaning of those
circumstances.

But if you let your emotions RULE YOU
rather than YOU ruling your EMOTIONS,
your emotions will pretend they are your
friend, and they will make you think that
indeed everything else in life is what is
bringing you down, but that it's not your
responsibility at all.

If you are looking for a great woman, then
be on the lookout for how consistent she is
in being in a positive frame of mind, and
also be on the lookout to see how consistent
she is with maintaining a sense of moral
fairness, i.e. does she bump ahead of other
people in line? Does she jump to conclusions
about things? Is the rational or is she usually
basing her decisions on whatever emotion
she's feeling in the moment?

Does she insist on using condoms?
Or does she go base things on a "feeling"???

Does she work hard or does she
"feel" no work is inspiring or
worth doing?

So, don't think that it's just you who must
do this battle to conquer emotions when
they can cloud your thinking, it's everyone,
but if you want to get rid of NEEDINESS,
then just start to notice how the needy
feeling you have for a woman is always
accompanied by a tendency to NOT
STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, and
to instead fantasize about some made
up concept of how awesome life would
be if you "just" had this woman.

This type of thinking will actually prevent
you from ever GETTING a great woman,
because a great woman has got her emotions
under control and would expect that you as
a MAN should FOR SURE have his.

Mind you, great men and great women are
EXTREMELY RARE.

But once you develop yourself to get into
that category, you suddenly start to find
them very easily, because you know how
to immediately detect one when you've
found one. The difference between her
and other women and in fact between her
and most other PEOPLE, is MASSIVE.

Getting control over your neediness is so
important, that if you don't, you won't
notice the very REAL things that a woman
will be doing to you including things that
are not cool at all. So for example, a woman
who you've allowed yourself to feel too
much emotion for and she hasn't earned
it, you will become BLIND to the fact
she is not 100% faithful, i.e. she is too
flirty with all kinds of guys be it on
facebook, twitter, or anywhere else,
or the fact she is actually a hypocrite,
i.e. many women love to talk about
peace and love and not judging others,
but the moment you happen to do
something that is not her way, she
will absolutely judge you, and she
won't understand you.

But NEEDINESS in your soul will find
A MILLION EXCUSES for it.

This is the thing, as a great man, you have to
have the POTENTIAL WARMTH to unleash
in a woman who DESERVES it, but you also
have to have the potential COLDNESS of a
"jerk" to shut off your emotions so that you
don't become weak and make the wrong
decisions to pursue the wrong woman or
to tolerate LOW STANDARDS OF
BEHAVIOR.

The moment you find yourself getting
EMOTIONALLY WEAK, go jump in
a COLD SHOWER for an instant!

It will WAKE YOU UP OUT OF THE
SPELL!

So the lesson for today is to become
AWARE of the FALLACY of creating
fantasies in your mind based on zero
evidence, and becoming AWARE of
how this FICTION then robs you of
the desire to actually take action in
the REAL WORLD, which is less
than perfect, but still pretty damn
AWESOME, because it's actually
REAL.

A real woman, beautiful and with a great
personality but who is not perfect, is much
better than the DISTORTED concept of
PERFECTION that you've created in
your mind of some particular woman.

Take that FIRST STEP today by actually
CHALLENGING your emotions for
EVIDENCE.

So, if you are feeling NEEDY for a woman,
demand REAL EVIDENCE for why she is
so great. And make sure you are calm when
you are doing this, because if you do it when
needy, you'll CREATE LIES that you will
believe to back up your emotions.

Also, if you are feeling FEAR of approaching
a woman, DEMAND REAL EVIDENCE.

You know that FEAR is just
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Getting your inner game is MASSIVELY IMPORTANT.
Don't wake up after ten years to find out you've been
allowing your emotions to brainwash you and hold
you back with women and with life.
Read more!

5 Secrets To Increasing Her Interest In You

***Dating QUESTION From A Reader***

{NOTE: This is a short question, and it refers
to another newsletter I sent out in the past. If
you don't immediately get it, just read my answer
and all will become clear.}

"The Guy in the bar Story...

Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got
the waitress' phone number?

This is "Ultra Extra Important" you said. I think
I know why he should have left, he was probably
staring at her all night and she was turned off by
it, but give me your complete insight on why he
should have left immediately after getting her
e-mail.

Thanks, R."

>>>MY COMMENTS:

As I said in the newsletter you quoted above,
this concept is VERY important.

Understanding why you need to leave at this
point is part of understanding the dynamic called
ATTRACTION.

So before I get into the specifics, let's talk
about the underlying process that creates
ATTRACTION...

1) ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional
reaction.

ATTRACTION is nature's way of taking over our
minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we
mate with someone with the best possible genes.

I realize that this sounds pretty "clinical"
and lame, but it's the damn truth.

Attraction isn't concerned with you, her, or
love. It's evolved over a loooong period of time,
and it has a purpose that is very important.

2) ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it
isn't created by things that "should" create it.

Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of
compliments when you first meet a woman, and
kissing up to women to get their approval are
examples of "logical" things that SHOULD create
attraction... but don't.

When you understand how attraction works, you
begin to see that it has a "logic" all its own.

Attraction is one of my favorite subjects...
and I think you should understand it if you want
to be successful with women. My second book is
called "Attraction Isn't A Choice", and you can
go and download the online version of it right
now... which I highly recommend... right here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook

3) Women aren't attracted to guys who act like
needy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots of
compliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try to
go out of their way to be overly "nice", it
usually backfires.

Women run from Wussy men (either that or they
go shoe shopping with them... and the guy usually
pays).

4) Unfortunately, many guys are mentally
programmed to a sort of "Default Wussy" mode of
behavior when they encounter a woman who they're
attracted to.

When you combine this Default Wuss mode with
nervous body language, you create an almost-
impossible barrier between you and ever creating
ATTRACTION.

5) Just like a painting or a song, too much can
ruin an interaction with a woman.

You must know when to leave, hang up, or end
the interaction.

Leaving at the right moment creates tension,
anticipation and mystery.

YOU EITHER INCREASE OR DECREASE ATTRACTION -
IT'S ALWAYS EITHER GOING UP OR DOWN...

Of course, there are more ingredients to
ATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for where
I'm going with this...

In every situation, you can do something to
INCREASE the ATTRACTION... and you can do
something to DECREASE it. In other words, there's
always a way to dial up this magical emotion.

And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even
when you've just met. In fact, this is often the
best time to do it.

Let me ask you a question...

What would most guys do in the situation with
the waitress (or maybe a bartender)?

Imagine it.

You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cute
gal serving drinks or behind the bar. You're being
Cocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she's
enjoying your company. You say "Hey, do you have
email?" and she writes it down for you...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

You could...

a) Sit there and keep talking.

b) Stay and talk to her a few more times.

c) Wait around hoping that you can go home
with her.

d) Leave.

So let's do a little critical thinking about
this situation before I comment (or maybe this
will be the comment, we'll see).

If you:

(a) sit there and keep talking, what's likely to
happen?

In my experience, unless you're the ultimate
Mac Daddy of all time, the only place to go is
DOWN.

Think about it... you got her info. You did it.
She's working. She's only going to get busy, which
will probably make the conversation more
difficult.

And then there's the risk of saying or doing
something stupid, getting too drunk to make sense,
or just having the interaction go cold.

All in all, you have very little chance of
anything good happening, and a great chance of
having something not-so-good happening.

Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.

If you:

(b) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends who
show up), and talk to her a few more times while
ordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?

Again, we're dealing with a situation that
almost can't get any BETTER. Remember, she already
gave you the info. Now she might start thinking
"Oh, this is just another loser who hangs out all
night and gets drunk with his buddies... like the
other 47 guys who hit on me."

Or you might say something dumb... or you might
tip her too much or too little and make a strange
impression... or any of a lot of things.

All downside risk, no upside rewards.

If you:

(c) wait around hoping that you can go home with
her, I think you're REALLY taking your chances in
the situation.

Again, unless you're the ultimate pick-up
artist of all time, you're not likely to be taking
home the bartender by sitting in front of her and
drinking all night... for the same reasons listed
above.

But what if:

(d) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info?

What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an
interaction like this one?

Well, let me ask you: What effect does
disappearing have IN GENERAL on people?

It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes
the other person think "I wonder where he/she had
to go so fast?"

You can also combine this with having something
very INTERESTING to do. For instance, you might
say:

"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet up
with some friends to have some SERIOUS fun."

This technique of leaving the moment I've
gotten a woman's information has worked WONDERS
for me... and for many guys I know.

The long and the short of it is that if you
stick around after you get the info, you create no
tension, no mystery, and no curiosity.

On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY,
and have something interesting (even if you don't
say what it is) to go do, then you're seen as
busy... the kind of guy who has a life... someone
who is in demand.

Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates
curiosity.

Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging,
and generally NOT having other things to do.

It's something that will INSTANTLY separate you
from other guys, and something that will
demonstrate all the right qualities with a single
move.

Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or
DECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. I
recommend that you start thinking of how to
increase it as much as you possibly can, because
if a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothing
else matters.

Let's shift gears.

When it comes to CREATING ATTRACTION, you can
take it to the next level... and the next... all
the way to the point of "getting physical" with a
woman...

...I've gone from not being able to even TALK
to a woman I don't know... to being able to
approach any woman in any situation and have a
VERY HIGH chance of getting a date with her... and
of course more, if I want.
Read more!

Do You Want A HOT Girlfriend

Hi Gentleman

Today I want to talk about a subject I find
very interesting.

Its a subject I think relates to every man
out there.

The subject of: WORTHINESS.

I was having a chat with a student recently
who was suffering from a problem.

The problem was, he wanted to have an
incredibly HOT girlfriend.

We're talking supermodel quality here.

And you know what? He's not alone!

EVERY guy and his brother wants to have
a drop-dead gorgeous girl to come home
to.

But here's the problem...

Most guys don't think they can GET a
girl like that.

So the settle.

They go for girls they KNOW they can get.

Girls that don't make them happy.

And why does this happen?

Because most men don't feel they DESERVE
to have a really hot girlfriend - even
if its what they want!

To many guys, incredibly beautiful women
seem like something "special."

It seems like the only way to attract them
is to be incredibly good looking yourself,
or incredibly rich.

But here's the thing...

THAT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

I see guys with supermodel quality women
all the time who are ugly, fat, stupid,
poor, and what-not.

But do you know what separates these chumps
from the average guy?

There's no voice in their heads that tells
them they CAN'T get these women!

They just GO FOR IT. Consequences be damned.

And you know what? Beautiful women are still
women. What works on an average girl will
work on an above-average girl.

You just have to be WILLING to do it.

You have to BELIEVE you can get her.

And here's the REALLY cool thing...

Because most guys don't think they can get a hot
chick, they don't even try!

So the really beautiful women hardly EVER
get approached!

Therefor, if you know the Art Of Approaching,
and you walk up to an incredibly beautiful girl,
guess what?

IT'S GOING TO BE EASY!!!

She's going to look forward to talking to you.
She's going to be interested in what you have
to say. She won't reject you.

Because she doesn't get approached by men who
know what they're doing, and the men who DO
approach her are usually LOSERS.

So as you can see, the deck is stacked in YOUR
favor.
Read more!

Why You Should Never Do "Dinner & A Movie!

Hi Gentleman,

I got a question for you...

And answer honestly now, because this is
important!

When you hear the word "Dating," what's
the first thing you think of?

I'll tell you what I think of:

Dinner and a Movie!

After all, isn't that the "typical" date?

Isn't that the first thing that comes
to mind when you want to go out with
a girl?

(well, maybe it's the second, but you
get my drift. =)

Growing up, that's all I heard about when
my friends asked women on dates...

"I'm gonna take her to a nice restaurant,
and then we're going to see a movie!"

Blah, blah, blah.

Look, if you don't know this by now, you
should --

Dinner and a Movie is a HORRIBLE idea!

Why?

Because: Every guy does it!

There is nothing special to it. Every
date a girl goes on consists of dinner
and a movie.

If you want to be truly great at romancing
women, you need to be different from all
the other guys out there!

You NEED to stand out.

Because being different is a sure-fire way
to get a girl interested in you.

Here's the basic problem with dinner and
a movie...

People tend to be self conscious when they
eat.

And you have no chance to demonstrate any
personality or strengthen connections while
sitting quietly in a dark movie theater.

Sure, dinner and a movie might be fun once
you're seeing the girl regularly.

But until that time, it's the dating equivalent
of shooting yourself in the foot!

So what's a guy to do?

Simple: BE DIFFERENT.

Take her out to do something FUN, where you
can interact with her.

Things like:

Going miniature golfing.
Taking her to the racetrack.
Checking out the zoo.
Playing at a video arcade.

These are all things no one thinks about when
they think "date."

BUT, they can be fun and very effective.

And the possibilities are endless!

Just check your local newspaper and look at
what kind of cool events are taking place
in your area, and then...

INVITE women to join you in doing them!

You will INSTANTLY stand out.
Read more!

What Are You Made Of

Hey Gentleman

What you are about to read is not
how to attract MOST women, it's how
to attract a truly GREAT woman.

I'd like to let you know the truth about
attracting a quality woman. By a quality
woman, I mean a woman who really has
the qualities inside as well as out. This
is not about how to attract trash.

Let me tell you something that 99%
of men will never do, that is the
no-b.s. SECRET to getting a
fantastic woman:

LEAD THE WAY
Don't look to SOCIETY to show you what
to do.

And I don't just mean lead the way with
HER, but lead the way in your OWN life,
lead the way and don't wait for someone
to give you APPROVAL for what you
already know in your HEART is right.

What do I mean by this?
I mean having a CODE of honor that
you will follow REGARDLESS of
whether most people think it's cool
or not.

The reality is that if you want a woman
of honor, of integrity, a woman who has
the SELF-ESTEEM to CHAMPION
those values that you cherish in life
such as fidelity, passion, purity of
heart, and respect, then let me tell
you that you damn well better be
having those things in SPADES
yourself.

And in our culture, we are brainwashed to
think that relationships are not something
SACRED.

Relationships are now a form of reality TV
entertainment. Faithfulness, respect, and fidelity
are scorned by most forms of entertainment.
We make heroes out of celebrities who destroy
their own relationships.

What's interesting is that when it comes to
EXCELLENCE in engineering, in science,
in medicine, in art, in ANYTHING besides
relationships, we intuitively KNOW that
it takes respecting the PROCESS and
respecting the KNOWLEDGE and that
it takes LEARNING and DEVOTION
to become GREAT at it.

But when it comes to interactions between
men and women, most men and women
go in CLUELESS and just imitate whatever
they see around them. And they expect
to SUCCEED this way?

Imagine flying a fighter jet while your eyes
are blindfolded. It would quickly be a
DISASTER.

Well, I assure you that human relationships
are just as precious and complex.

The most precious thing that a man or
woman gives each other is the feeling
of VALUING them.

That's it.
It's not the dinners, it's not the jokes,
it's not the physical stuff. It's the
intimate BOND that is what goes
beyond everything else.

As soon as that BOND is diminished,
everything else is just a matter of time
before it fades.

That BOND has to be PROTECTED at all
costs, it is the SACRED FIRE that keeps
the engine alive.

The reason that most people end up getting
divorced or they end up without the PASSION
for each other long term, is that they allow
the SACREDNESS of this bond to be
diminished- by giving less love, or by
disrespecting the sacred trust they have.

The single greatest culprit for making
these things happen is the MEDIA and
the CULTURE we live in that works to
mock relationships and real love, as if
those things are for sissies.

So if you are a man who wants a great woman
and a great relationship, you need a STRONG
woman, a woman who is not afraid of defying
our culture, and the media, and the programs
out there.

That's the first ingredient, don't even
WASTE your time on the wrong women
who don't get it.

The second ingredient is that you yourself
must not diminish your passion for living
the lifestyle that CHAMPIONS true intimacy,
for giving meaningful validation to a woman,
for honoring her.

There are many forces out there that will have
you believe a great relationship that is sacred
is impossible, that no good women are out
there.

But the truth is, there ARE amazing women
out there, not a LOT of them, but they are
out there, looking for a man as passionate
about the REAL THING as you are.

If you let yourself get poisoned and embittered,
you will simply be seduced by the warped messages
thinking that there is no other way but to give up
on your dream of being with a great woman.

Now, imagine you DO meet the RIGHT woman,
a woman beautiful inside and out, and she sees
that you are jaded and that you are too afraid
to be loving or kind or genuine, well all that
will do is show her that you are NOT the
man for her.

There is a massive difference between having
high standards for intimacy and bonding and
love, and being NEEDY for it. When you are
NEEDY for it, you actually LOWER your
standards and will do anything for any
female attention- and in fact THIS IS
THE REAL REASON FOR THE
DISTORTIONS YOU SEE IN THE
MEDIA!

Yes, it is all the product of insecurity.
Secure people know what real love feels like
and aren't afraid to GIVE it and to CHAMPION
it and to CHERISH it.

Those who are insecure however will promote
the jaded versions of love.

The common thread here is that the highest
standard of love comes from the highest
standard of EMOTIONAL STRENGTH-
so how do you DESTROY neediness
from your system? The answer is this:

Realize that neediness, insecurity, fear of
rejection, or any other anxiety is just an
EMOTION. It's just so strong of an emotion
that it makes you feel that your thoughts
flowing from that emotion are VALID.

So for example, let's say you see a woman
you want to approach, and you then feel
approach anxiety. So what you do is, you
start to look for the PERFECT THING
to say, the thing that will be REJECTION
PROOF completely.

Well, that SEEMS logical, right?
That would solve things.
But the problem is, no matter HOW perfect
the thing is that you will say to a woman,
it WON'T get rid of that anxious feeling!

That's because emotions are NOT logical.
The worst thing to do to get rid of an emotion
is to try to attack it with LOGIC!

By the way, this goes DOUBLE for trying
to change a woman's emotions by using
LOGIC.

So guess what the solution is?
The solution sounds very ILLOGICAL:
For example, to get rid of the approach
anxiety, you should NOT try to find a
REJECTION PROOF opener.

Any time you SUBMIT to a fear, you
NEVER satisfy it, it NEVER leads to
you feeling better, it ONLY leads to you
feeling WORSE and MORE fearful.

So ironically, don't be afraid to be WARM
to a woman, and don't be afraid to have
INSANELY HIGH STANDARDS OF
INTEGRITY, even if the people around
you do NOT. Of course, don't let yourself
get ABUSED, but don't be afraid that
your HIGH STANDARDS are silly
or something that is uncool.

The people that have changed the course
of human history for the BETTER tended
to have HIGHER standards than normal.
Did they feel they were somehow UNCOOL?
Or did they MAKE IT "cool" by being so
CLEAR AND DECISIVE AND CONGRUENT
ABOUT IT?

You can either be a follower or a leader.
I like to create LEADERS.
And women tend to LOVE leaders.

So the next time you want to approach a
a woman, and if you are a beginner, and
you are feeling anxious, DON'T look for
the perfect opener. That's too advanced.

First, destroy the anxiety by taking it
HEAD-ON and NOT giving in to looking
for some foolproof way to avoid rejection.
That feeling and desire for total security is
in itself the PROBLEM and it will show in
your interactions with women.

The best time to use a good opener is
once you already have a FOUNDATION,
because THEN you will deliver it
PROPERLY.

In fact, if you are a beginner, the best thing
to get over the FEAR of approaching women
is to just go up to women and say "hi".

This will not get you the best results IMMEDIATELY,
but it is the best way to get over the ANXIETY,
and once you are over the anxiety, you can THEN
learn to apply more complex approaches and methods.

Remember what I said about EXCELLENCE
being a PROCESS that you must respect and
be devoted to? So this is step ONE in that
PROCESS. And hey, if you want to learn
it all in one weekend, at the most accelerated
pace so you save time, then book a
BOOTCAMP with me.

Once the anxiety is out of the way, you can
move up to more advanced tactics, but until
that is out of the way, the search for more
"rejection proof openers" will actually
make you WORSE OFF, because you are
GIVING IN TO WEAKNESS, to the
FEAR that you are not WORTHY to
chat to her, etc.

And THAT IS NOT A GOOD JUSTIFIABLE
FEAR, because you ARE worthy, whether
you realize it or not.

Also, by the way, if you want to attract a
woman, don't give her REASONS to
be attracted to you. Instead, BECOME
attraction itself by destroying that which
is weak or needy inside of you, and by
reclaiming the power of your natural
identity as a man. This man that is
the real you is infinitely internally
STRONG, WARM, INDESTRUCTIBLE,
and is oozing with HONOR and COURAGE.

And the WORST THING you could
do, the thing that would destroy the
natural masculine identity in you, is
for you to do ANYTHING that stems
from FEAR or NEEDINESS.

Giving into it, whether it's NOT approaching
a woman you want to approach, or whether
it's staying with the wrong woman because
you don't think you could find someone
else, or lowering your standards of morality
just to be "cool" and fit in, will destroy
all the most ATTRACTIVE things in you.

It's ironic, that the things most guys do
to impress women actually LESSEN
women's attraction to them, because
they are fueled by fear and weakness.

In the near future, I am going to be
releasing the most powerful product
ever devised for unleashing your
INTERNAL power.

And to make the MOST of this magnificent
resource, I suggest you get your FOUNDATION
by downloading my 'Get A Great Girl' eBook
right now. This book will give you DOZENS
of powerful strategies for meeting and keeping
a fantastic woman that you can put to use
IMMEDIATELY.

It's at:

https://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html
Read more!

How To Get Women To Date You

A Question From A Reader

Hey Joseph,

I was reading the Art of Approaching, under
the online openers. And the one where you
send an email saying how you're good looking,
funny, etc then modest, I used that on a girl
and she responded very well to it. But since
then its been very ho-hum. I can't get to
meeting her. All I got is her AIM screen name.
But I don't know how to take it to the next
step. I know that I have to meet her if I want
anything to happen, but I don't know how it
should be done. I need your help.

- Stephen



MY RESPONSE:

Hi Stephen,

First of all -- of COURSE that email got a
great response! That's one of my patented
internet dating techniques.

(You know I'd never share something with you
that DOESN'T work!)

But you seem to be running into a common
problem that most guys who are dating on the
internet eventually run into...

THE TRANSITION!

You know, the part where you move from online
to offline.

In a way, it's really no different from setting
up a date after meeting a woman in the real
world.

See, when it comes to first contact, be it
email, telephone, or a cold approach, you
should always be thinking of one thing...

The Date!

Get her to agree to meet with you. Period.

Until that happens, it isn't real. She's
either not serious or not interested until
she commits to a date.

When it comes to email, the trick is to get
her on the phone as soon as possible. You
could say something like:

"Hey, great. You're a real person. Now
that we've established that, let's talk.
This email thing is for the birds. You
can call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. But try to
call before 10, because that's when my
mom makes me go to sleep. =)

If you're comfortable with it, you can give
me your number and make me do all the dirty
work.

Talk soon,

(your name here)"

Once you get her on the phone and you're
able to establish some rapport, then you
can set up a date to meet.

Make it something low-pressure so she'll
feel comfortable. Something like getting
coffee or a drink. This will give you two
a chance to get to know each other and see
if it's worth going forward.

The same is true when meeting a girl in
person.

Lots of guys like to try and go for the phone
number right away.

But why?

I look at the phone number as a "last resort."

This is because you want to get her to go
out with you AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

If she's up for it, take her out right then
and there. Ask her if she's got time for
a quick cup of coffee.

If not, try and set up a date right there.
Ask her if she's free the next night or
that very weekend.

Once the date is set up, then exchange your
numbers.

Or, if she's not immediately available, THEN
ask her for her number and try calling to
set up the date.

Remember: Move fast and with purpose.

Until she goes out with you, she's not really
committed to having a romantic encounter.

The WORST thing you can do is hesitate and
draw out asking her to meet you again.

Lots of girls will begin to wonder if you're
really interested if you don't ask her out.
So don't wait. Seize the opportunity when
you have the chance.


Read more!

How To "Read" A Woman's Words And Body Language

WHAT WOMEN "REALLY MEAN"...

I hope you're sitting down... because what I'm
about to share with you will change how you view
women and dating.

I'm about to take you "behind the scenes" in
the female mind.

I'm going to give you a perspective that most
men never see or realize.

Unfortunately for most guys, not seeing things
the way I'm about to share with you, keeps them
trapped in their own little world of failure.

If you pay careful attention to the things I'm
about to reveal to you, you'll definitely have
more success with women.


THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORDS AND THE REAL
WORLD...

Have you ever heard a woman say something like:

"I want a guy who is sensitive."

"I want a guy who's in touch with his feelings."

"I want a guy who's a good communicator."

"I want a guy who is strong."

"I want a guy who is sexy."

...?

Of course you have.

Women say this stuff all the time.

One of my favorites is:

"I want a REAL MAN."

I love that one.

In the past, when I'd hear women say, "I want a
REAL MAN", I had NO IDEA what the hell they were
talking about.

It almost didn't make sense.

But keep in mind, even though these things
don't always make sense to us guys, they make
PERFECT sense to women.

Here's the problem...

When a woman says one of these things, she
actually MEANS something that is different from
what a guy would mean if he said the same words.

Let me explain.

If a guy says "I'm going to stay home and relax
today", he probably means that he's going to stay
home, watch some sports, drink a beer, look at
pictures of women on the internet, and order a
pizza.

If a WOMAN says that she's going to stay home
and relax, she's probably NOT going to watch some
sports, drink a beer, look at pictures of women on
the internet, and order a pizza.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are reading this right
now and you are a woman who watches sports, drinks
beer, looks at pictures of the women on the
internet, and orders pizza to relax, then contact
me immediately at the email address below. And
send pictures.

Back to what I was saying...

Women are DIFFERENT from men. And the words
they use often don't mean what they SOUND like
they mean.

So, the FIRST thing that you have to get
through your head is that just because a woman
SAYS something to you, doesn't mean that it means
what you THINK it means.

Catch my meaning?


THE BIG SECRET SHE ISN'T TELLING YOU

There's a little secret that women never happen
to mention when they're describing what they want
in a man.

Unfortunately, for all of us good guys who are
trying to be what women want... and hoping that if
we try hard enough to please women that they'll
like us... this little secret is causing us a LOT
of trouble.

The SECRET is that women ONLY want the things
that they're asking for from a guy who already has
about 100 other qualities that they never mention.

In other words, if a woman says, "I want a man
who is a good communicator", what she REALLY means
is:

"I want a guy who already has his life together,
is interesting, unpredictable, dominant, funny,
healthy, charismatic, confident, and loyal... who
is ALSO a good communicator."

The REALITY is that when a woman says one of
these "I want a guy who" statements, she actually
has an IDEAL guy in mind, who ALSO happens to be a
good communicator.

She's NOT imagining Homer Simpson sitting on
his couch reading a book on communication.

The reality of this situation is that what
women REALLY want is a man who makes them feel the
emotional and physical response that I like to
call ATTRACTION.

They want a man who makes them FEEL IT.

But, most women either can't describe the
things that actually make her feel ATTRACTION, or
they don't WANT to have to describe them, because
they want a man who already IS those things...
without having to learn them.

Think about it.

If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want
one that said, "Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just
give me some time to learn..." or would you want
one that already KNEW how to kick ass anytime,
anywhere, without having to learn?

Duh.

Well, the same goes with women.

They don't WANT a guy that they have to train.

If you don't already have the UNIVERSAL
FOUNDATION of what appeals to women, then no
amount of changing and improving things, like your
communication and sensitivity, is going to help
you.


WHAT IS A REAL MAN?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the idea
of a "Real Man."

You hear both women and men using the term.

But what does it actually MEAN?

And is it important?

Well, after thinking about this particular
topic for a long time, I've come to the conclusion
that it is a VERY important topic.

At this point, I believe that a REAL MAN is
this "ideal" that women imagine when they're
saying "I want a guy who is sensitive."

They're thinking of the REAL MAN, and then
they're imagining him ALSO being sensitive.

There are a lot of aspects to this REAL MAN.

Here are a few that are important:

-Status
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-A Challenge

...and the list goes on.

It's actually not easy to describe a REAL MAN
in a few sentences... but I'll tell you what... a
woman can recognize one INSTANTLY.

Before I tell you more... If you don't know
what a "Real Man" is, and you also get the feeling
that you might NOT be one, then you need to do
yourself a BIG favor and go read this right NOW:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/OnBeingAMan


THE MISTAKE MEN MAKE

Now, a common mistake that men make is taking
something that a woman SAYS that she wants, and
doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if "A little bit
is good, then more must be better."

For instance, a woman SAYS that she likes guys
who are "thoughtful." So you go out and buy her a
bunch of gifts, give her cute cards every time you
see her, and call her all the time to tell her
that you miss her.

What happens?

She leaves you for her jerk ex-boyfriend.

Huh?

This would be kind of like a woman saying, "My
favorite food is chocolate" and then you thinking
it would be good to feed her chocolate for every
meal just because it's her favorite... or adding
chocolate to every single dish you make for her
from now on... and forgetting that 97% of what
she eats still needs to be OTHER FOODS.

Let me land the plane for you.

Women don't MEAN what you THINK they mean when
they talk about what they want in a man.

And if you take the things women say too
literally, you're going to wind up shooting
yourself in the foot.


WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN...

So let me "decode" what women "really" mean
when they say common things.

Consider this your own personal "female
language translator". Refer to it often.

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...

"I want a guy who is sensitive."

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...

"I want a guy who is busy doing his own thing in
life, who has goals and objectives... who has
passion for things. If we're out together, he
always keeps me on my toes, and I'm always
wondering what's going to happen next. He's
challenging, interesting, and funny. I would
really like it if he was also sensitive enough to
know when I need a hug, or to be held, or when I
want him to make love to me."

Does this make sense?

Again, she's not imagining a picture of a
boring, predictable, Wussy who is sharing his hurt
feelings because he's so "sensitive."

Big difference.

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...

"I want a guy who is in touch with his
feelings."

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...

"I want a guy who is strong-willed, and who
doesn't get upset about petty things... a guy who
can deal with the fact that I freak out
emotionally sometimes... and who knows how to be
cool when things are tough. But I also want him
to be in touch with his feelings so that:
1) He doesn't repress his emotions and then
eventually kill 10 people in his workplace, and
2) When he's intimate with me, and he feels a
passionate rush... he'll grab me and make love to
me like a beast!"

What she's NOT doing is making a picture of a
meek, afraid guy who calls all the time to ask "Do
you like me? Because I sure like you".

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:

"I want a guy who's a good communicator."

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...

"I want a guy who doesn't talk all the time,
because he knows how to let me know what's on his
mind without using words. I want the kind of guy
that can touch me in a certain way and I feel
tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of
guy that can say things in a way that I
understand... not crudely and man-like."


WHAT ABOUT "SEXY"?

You'll often hear women saying that they what a
"Sexy Man."

Now, I USED to think that they meant that they
wanted a PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE man when they said
this.

Sometimes this is exactly what they mean when
they use the term "sexy." But I've found that,
most of the time, women mean something TOTALLY
different when they use the term "sexy."

You see, a woman generally bases more of her
life around what she FEELS than a man does.

And the concept of "sexy" is usually used to
describe the way a man makes a woman FEEL than it
is used to describe how HE LOOKS.

Think about women's romance novels for a
moment. Women's romance novels account for about a
fifth of ALL BOOKS SOLD.

What do these books contain?

WORDS.

Words that DESCRIBE things.

Descriptions that make women FEEL things.

My point: If you want to learn how to be a
"sexy man", then the way you LOOK isn't the most
IMPORTANT thing.

I'll tell you something -

Learning the secrets of being a "sexy man" can
be a very rewarding experience.

A lot of guys out there, including me, know
EXACTLY what it's like to be either on a date
with, or in a relationship with a woman who has NO
INTENTION of being with you "physically."

In other words, she's just not feeling that
powerful "sexual" ATTRACTION for you.

And you don't know how to MAKE her feel it.

Well, let me tell you...

Just like all the other things that a woman
"says" that she wants in a man... that most men
don't ever "get", being SEXY is one of the BIG
ONES.

If you understand the secrets of being SEXY,
you will notice that women start to behave VERY
differently around you.

Read more!